nobody here but us chickens

Month: October 2013

thursday soundtrack – it’s the most wonderful time of the year

wm_ospooky – classics iv
little red riding hood – sam the sham and the pharaohs
love song for a vampire – annie lennox
this is halloween – marilyn manson
no costume, no candy – the swingin’ neckbreakers
down in the lab – deadbolt
i put a spell on you – screamin’ jay hawkins
dead man’s party – oingo boingo
psycho – beasts of bourbon
pet sematary – the ramones
bella lugosi’s dead – the bauhaus
impaler – spinnerette
mother – danzig
fresh blood – the eels
bloodletting – concrete blonde

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Random Wednesday

wmjacksTomorrow is Halloween!!!!!!!!!

Don Henley is never the answer. Never.

I kind of want this.

So cute!

At least I have my integrity!

Sunnies. Stop. They’re sunglasses.

Some awesome stuff here. I don’t really understand the pretzel or lettuce ladies though …

And while we’re at it – sammies. No. They’re sandwiches.

But I am exactly the kind of person who would carry a purse that looks like a chicken. That’s just a fact.

I love Mike Rowe. I really do.

No, I can’t help that person, because I do not know the answer.

Did I mention that tomorrow is Halloween? Because tomorrow is Halloween. THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR.

I hate resetting passwords all the time.

I just got a new flyer to hang up: “It’s Hard to See Racism When You’re White” I file this under the liberal logic tab of – white people don’t know they’re racist, because they’re all white and racist.

Duh!

Dear God! You’re carrying your terrible grammar over into Bitstrips! Will the madness never end???

Propagate and Multiply!

Thought leadership.

I really don’t think I need an email telling me so and so retweeted a tweet from some other so and so. I’ve never even heard of the other so and so.

I would like some apple pie.

I was just thinking about the Usual Suspects the other day.

Ha. She said porpaganda.

Inassimilable is a very hard word to say.

Not especially creepy or terrifying, but definitely fun.

I think we should make a pot of chili this weekend. Yes. That is a good idea.

I typed “That is a food idea.” Yes it is.

Does anyone have a better Halloween laugh than Screamin’ Jay Hawkins? The answer is no.

What a weird band name.

I just don’t equate Rocky Horror with Halloween.

Do you vant to be left alone?

Ack! So cute!

Argh. To sum up: “Use this standardized test result to teach your kid that this is how the world works and just accept that it isn’t a true reflection of who he is.” Um. How about “Use this standardized test result to teach your kid that this is why the world needs to CHANGE and what he can do to effect that change in his lifetime”? STOP ACQUIESCING!!!!

I don’t know. I’ve never really contemplated the rototiller as a tool for homicide.

I need to shoot some film. It needs to be done.

achoo achoo achoo!

It probably won’t fall on anyone’s head. Probably.

Have I mentioned my love of jalapeno kettle chips?

I think what they meant to say was “READ ALL THE SANDMAN!” But if you read only one issue, ignore the Mary Sue’s advice about Hob Gadling and read issue 17 – Calliope.

Of all the annoying crap on FB, I’m really surprised that people are so cranky about Bitstrips. They seem fairly harmless to me.

With all my teapots, you’d think I was a tea cozy knitter. But I’ve never made a single one. And tomorrow is Halloween!

What a horrible human being.

iPad Air. Is that like Nike Air? I don’t get the significance.

Please stop putting an apostrophe in “Michigan Moms Against Gun Control.” It’s not Mom’s. It’s Moms. Thank you.

This tiny Snickers is too tiny.

I really like that Blacklist show.

I realize that it’s irrational to be irritated about this, but I am, and I can’t help that.

Aw!

Apparently all my links lead to the Mary Sue today.

I must purchase Halloween candy. For Halloween. Which is tomorrow.

This is not my fault.

I mean really. How are the Time Warp or Rock Lobster Halloween songs??

And why does everyone spell Pet Sematary wrong?

You should ALWAYS do Halloween when it isn’t!

I don’t wanna be buried …

Man. I’m almost out of Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in Nutmeg! My stockpile is nearing exhaustion! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I can’t find a color to replace it. *sob*

itch itch itch itch itch

I said I was sorry about your toes.

I think that exact same thing every time Psycho Pants opens her mouth.

You can’t get a new tattoo til April.

OUCH ow ow ow ow. Hot glue is hot.

Man. It’s one thing to snow on trick or treating, but rain?? That’s just mean, Universe.

Maybe a tiny 3 Musketeers will make me feel better.

I need this. OK? OK.

I should just tattoo “Also ran” on my forehead or something. T shirt. Wear it every day.

Don’t ruin otters for me!

I need to go knit something. Watch some Haven. Sleep sleep sleep.

HApPY HallOwEEn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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dragon girl

Here are very many photos of Miss W’s Halloween costume in progress. The finished product will have to be a separate post. I am not a sewer. I just kind of made this all up in my head based on a photo I saw of a similar costume that had bubble wrap wings and a cardboard head. I figured I could do better than that. Or at least try, anyway. For the actual body part of the costume, we just used a red sweat shirt and sweat pants. The rest was me. Enjoy. (She’s got grumpy face in the one pic because we said she had a big head. I tried to tell her that all of us Norwegians have big heads – me too – but she was still mightily offended.)

wm8846wm8847wm8849wm8852wm8853wm8854wm8855wm8856wm8857wm8859wm8862wm8863wm8864wm8866wm8868wm8869wm8876wm8871

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Random Wednesday

wm8869Unshaven capitalists! The horror!

Hmmm. Blood. Most unexpected.

I like apple sauce.

This is so totally something I would do.

That’s funny. I don’t remember FB liking Dick Cheney.

Seems like if she were in a real fight all that stuff on her head would be a liability. I kind of love this though. Are those tiny skulls on her corset? Because that is SWEET.

The Thought Bureau of the Ministry of Education. That’s not creeptastic or anything.

It annoys me that businesses are always offering incentives to new customers but not extending those incentives to loyal customers.

I’m never going to be nominated for an award. I’m never even going to get a thank you for everything I do above and beyond my regular job. I have zero motivation for doing anything more than the minimum required. I hate academia.

Keep treating me like a glorified secretary. See where it gets you.

Can I just have all the things?

If you have a spare dollar, you should consider donating. I could listen to that man talk all day. Well for a good long while, anyway.

Neil Patrick Harris is rich. Of course he can afford for his entire family to be professionally costumed and professionally CUTE for Halloween every year. Who cares? My kid is way cuter than either of his and I make her costumes.

I don’t know where the wolves came from but I understand the bear.

Why yes. I would like a TARDIS hoodie, thank you.

When I worked in the lab, I would occasionally have to print photos of the deceased for the police for court cases. I didn’t mind unless they were children. I didn’t have to do it very often though.

Your day could always be worse. Nothing like getting punched in the gut with a reminder about that.

I can’t believe Danzig is in Grand Rapids tonight and I am missing it.

Red gloves! Just what I needed!

I have no faith that my costume will be done in time.

There is no way on this earth that I am going to get this stuff done in time. I just don’t have that much time. Maybe I should have my sleep removed

I hate the liaison in that season. She reminds me of this awful girl I used to know in this awful city that I still hate.

I’m tired of my music again. This is happening far too quickly these days. New music please and thank you.

No one ever actually sends me new music.

OK, sometimes Red does.

Huh. Well I guess it’s snowing then.

There are several people in this video that I do not normally agree with on just about anything, but in this case, they are not wrong.

John Cusack is not aging well at all.

Oh look! We can all go learn about Islam tomorrow. Please. Tell us all about how it’s a religion of peace that thinks of women as equals and is TOTALLY tolerant of homosexuals!

Who writes a seven page cover letter??

A conundrum.

Now this is stuck in my head.

That roller skating disco just kills me.

So apparently Cary Elwes is dangerously close to the Compound.

I thought it said “Us pizzas.” It did not.

Now I want pizza.

This thing says I belong in New Mexico. Doesn’t this thing know there are poisonous snakes AND bugs in New Mexico? Stupid unscientific flawed internet test.

I need seasons! Seasons, I tell you!

hooray hooray

My lip balm is just not doing its job today.

Halloween in the Mitten. Where your parents always make sure that your costume will fit over your winter coat and snow pants.

Are there any shopping carts that are not messed up? Because I have yet to find one that functions properly.

Pretty much. Except the part about Bust. I hate that magazine.

just for the chance to be

Is that not one of the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard? No?? What is WRONG with you???

The new and destined overlords.

I get distracted by the Fibonacci Sequence. Don’t be impressed. The farther along I get, the slower I get.

This guy uses the phrase sui generis an awful lot.

“Avoid prolonged or excessive exposure to direct sunlight.” Well that shouldn’t be a problem. It’s October in Michigan.

Ha. I typed Emocrat. That’s making me laugh.

Where are our t shirts Ghost Hunter people? Hmm? That is not cool.

i wish i had a head for math so i could talk to you

They’re probably referring to me. I am profoundly unlikeable.

Unless you like me.

I’m not such a delicate snowflake as all that, I suppose.

Solace in solitary somnambulance.

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year eleventy – forever and ever and ever …

wm8899We’re a tad behind schedule with the annual anniversary shot this year. Some of you might have been nervous. Pish. Like I’d miss a Hallowversary shot. I do wonder why I don’t seem to own a flannel shirt though. Had to borrow one from the Mister. If you can’t guess the inspiration for this year’s portrait, you clearly do not love this holiday. wm8892 Miss W needed to get in on the action, and of course she wanted to be the killer. No I will not let her watch this film.wm8901All work and no play … wm8885

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Random Wednesday

wm7900Oh Matt Frewer was in Lawnmower Man II. I must not have seen the first one.

What’s up with the violin? I must have watched this. I have no memory of it though.

No. I will not get a flu shot. The only time I have ever had the flu was after I got a flu shot. So stop pestering me.

What the hell? No one wants to go to dinner with me and a best selling author? You don’t even have to pay!

Yeah, I wouldn’t even buy a Banksy for $60.00.

I feel like this should be a public service announcement: “It is almost NEVER necessary to reply all.”

Sweetheart. You can barely do your own job. Stop trying to do mine.

Here’s another PSA for you: Either spill it or STFU. Vaguebooking only irritates everyone around you.

You should stop putting apostrophes after numerals. It’s plural, not possessive. You’re in your 30s. You cannot possibly be in your 30’s.

I like the blue one. Too bad it’s so expensive. That’s my very favorite movie.

Chocula is saving my life right now. You don’t even know.

This is to inform you that you are a winner.

“democratization of banality”

el oh el

Chips and salsa. I love you.

where is it where is it where is it

A gloomy, misty fall day in the Mitten.

Oh good! Dinner takers!

So you want to be the associate dean, eh? Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha

Hmm. Maybe it was someone else who agreed with me.

This really creeped me out.

I have no focus lately. I hate that. I hate it massively.

oompa loompa doopity do

i’m just a poor

I love this weather. I do I do I do

I do not love this semester. I wish I had taken it off.

I don’t think this generation understands what the word “mandatory” means.

Gah! Stop putting mayonnaise on everything!!!

Bill Watterson!

I’m very irritable right now. It’s best if I just read this crap and lay low. Very low. Maybe take a nap.

Listened to this on the cold, rainy walk back from class. Perfection.

I think I need a hiatus.

I never watched that show.

I’m feeling very cynical about all of it right now. Every last word.

Yes I did steal the Pride & Prejudice flyer. They should have known better than to use the new pulp fiction cover. It’s now hanging in my office.

That is my very favorite book of all time.

I don’t think I sound like a tool for saying “I don’t go to Starbucks.” Because I don’t go to Starbucks. For a variety of legitimate reasons.

Good Lord.

I can’t possibly be the only woman on this earth who hasn’t read that Fifty Shades of Nonsense.

Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum

Yes, please, thank you.

You’re quite welcome. welcome welcome welcome.

I need a door.

Ladies. Your problem isn’t Maria Kang, it’s that Maria Kang busts her ass to look like she does and you don’t. You feel guilty, so you turn that into being pissed off at some woman you’d never heard of before five minutes ago. Either STFU and start working on yourself, or ignore it. But being pissed off at a woman for the way she looks or her stupid caption on her photo? You perpetuate the much much much larger problem. Stop attacking each other for being successful, for working hard to look good. She’s not “shaming” you (and GOD am I so thoroughly sick of that turn of phrase – “fat shaming” “thin shaming” “what the fuck ever shaming”). You choose to be offended. So knock it off.

I want the bed, and the bathtub, and the nook, and the slide, and the library chair, and the southern nook …

That strange woman keeps emailing me.

Catastrophic Consequences!!!!

Yes, it’s cold. It’s not cold enough to turn on the heat. Maybe an electric blanket. Of course I don’t have an electric blanket.

Spectacular. Obamacare is ensuring that I will never be able to leave my job for something I like better because I can’t afford to lose this insurance. Sometimes it’s really damn hard not to just hate the hell out of all Democrats all the damn time. And don’t try to be all “I’m not a Democrat!” If you vote Democrat, you are guilty, and I’m trying really hard not to hate you.

Itchiest. Ever.

Seems like maybe I might have deserved a thank you for all the hard work I did for my event. But let’s just ignore me and thank EVERYONE ELSE FOR ALL THE SHIT THEY DO.

Um yeah. No.

Anthropologists are an interesting bunch.

Why does that keep coming up?

Plain M&Ms almost always make me happy.

Oooh! Amazon gift card! Maybe I can get something off my wish list!

What’s up with the aliens??

i swear this world

A giant Harlowe horse!

Got milk?

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Random Wednesday

wm8632I just don’t care for Bat for Lashes. They remind me of this guy I “dated” briefly. He was an ass. A gothic, depressive, suicidal, total asshole. He once bit my neck so hard I truly believe he was trying to draw blood. It wasn’t a hickey, it was evidence. A forensic odontologist could have matched his teeth up to that bite mark half asleep and high on laughing gas, if forensic odontology hadn’t been widely discredited. This guy used to send me an average of one mixed tape a week. I was at Michigan State, he was at Western Michigan. I liked about 37% of the music. It was all Skinny Puppy and Death in June and Ministry and Sisters of Mercy and so on. Ironically, we met at a Tori Amos concert.

It wasn’t until years later that my taste in men made a miraculous turn around.

Wait. How am I supposed to get all these books read by December??

after the fire, before the flood

There is just no comfortable way to sleep in an office chair.

The Garden Chair of Solitude.

I never did anything that nutty when I was pregnant.

Did I show you this already? I love this. And I want that American flag jacket.

Why is there a World Octopus Day?

Why is the proof in the pudding? What if I don’t like pudding? And proof of what, exactly?

that’s 13 cupcakes

It’s fall it’s fall it’s fall! It’s the best month of the year!!!!

I heart Nick Gillespie. Just in case I hadn’t mentioned it previously.

I used to like Boardwalk Empire, but they killed off or corrupted all the likeable characters. Now I can’t stand any of them.

I think I should eat this tiny packet of M&Ms. Right now.

Because people are just really dumb.

Man this town is stinky.

“One can learn a lot about a country and it’s culture by how they dance and the music played.” And by how appropriately they USE APOSTROPHES.

It’s all Ancient Sumerian to me.

Sheesh. There’re about 10 M&Ms in this thing. I feel like I’m being taunted.

Beleaguered Vulcan Brain

Even if I gave half a rat’s ass about sports, it’s awful hard to give the other half about homecoming when this team hasn’t won a single football game this year. But, you know. Keep rowin’ that boat.

Good God! I both love this and am terrified by it. Modern Halloween costumes just do not have this effect at all.

Which reminds me of a book that has been on my Amazon wish list for a while now ….

What’s the point of carrying if your chamber isn’t loaded?

OH MY GOD. STOP TRYING TO DO MY JOB.

All I can think is “They’re so DIRTY!” Ugh.

I’m intrigued. I want to see it. It’s funny, because when the trailer started I thought, “Reminds me of Underworld!” Sure enough …

Plus. Aaron Ekhart is totally lunchable.

Wait. Eddie Vedder is still around?

I’m just curious, but do you think it would be possible for you to eat your potato chips with your mouth CLOSED so I can’t hear you all the way over here in my cube???

What? No. You can’t sit in a dental chair for an hour having work done AND be subjected to a Michael Jackson DVD the entire time. That’s like a special kind of hellish torture. That is just not right.

Where do vegetarians eat around here? No, I’m not going vegetarian. Don’t be absurd.

Oh man. I have to take a best selling author out to dinner next week.

Oooooh!

This is not an artist’s statement.

Oh. That mean’s next week’s Random is going to be late. Like Thursday late.

PANIC! in detroit. but not really.

ouuuuuuuuuch

Oh COME ON. ENOUGH with the flipping FUNDRAISING. Get a damn job!

Why are people wearing these coats? They’re so ugly.

There are some things I can’t even say in Random Wednesday.

then you stop

She’s on a pedestal, guys. Pay attention to her.

Look. I don’t want to tell you your business, but don’t you think she’s leached enough money out of people as it is??

Yeah, this is hilarious.

Sometimes I wish the autocorrect in Word was as sophisticated as it is on the iPhone that isn’t a phone so that I wouldn’t have to keep backspacing to correct my typos when I’m in a typing frenzy.

I would like to unfriend these people, but they’d notice and ask me why, because they could walk right up to me and ask me why. That would just be awkward.

Pond Schmond.

Donna Noble has left the library. Donna Noble has been saved.

It’s so not too early for bed. I think that’s where I need to be.

Well that’s just not sitting well at all.

71

Lawnmower Man. Lawnmower Man. Ohhhh I remember that movie. Wasn’t that Matt Frewer? I used to love him on Max Headroom.

You can’t just say “No one should see the Fifth Estate regardless of how you feel about Asange,” without giving your reasons WHY.

Oy.

I’m cold. That settles it.

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luminary

wm_luminaryI was encouraged, vociferously, to enter one of my photographs in an exhibit of artwork inspired by climate change. Done laughing yet? I was accepted. There are 22 students in the show. We’re competing for cash money, yo. In fact, I was just awarded a humble, (for serious humble), stipend from Environmental Studies. I hope that doesn’t mean I’m out of the running for the slightly less humble prize.

At any rate, this is the photograph that was selected. Luminary. Reverse lens macro, digital photograph. Reverse lens literally means that I took the lens off the camera, turned it around and held it in place, and shot the photo through the lens backwards. This process has produced some of my favorite photos. It’s also a practice in patience and keeping a steady hand.

It will hang for one week. Then I don’t know what I’ll do with it. If anyone is interested in purchasing, contact me for details. It’s really very beautiful in person.

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Random Wednesday

wm8636I hate chickpeas.

Fascinating!

If the parks are closed because we can’t afford to staff them, why are there people there ready to  arrest you and write you tickets for entering the parks? The parks should be empty. Seems ridiculous to have staff at the park patrolling it but it’s closed to the public. Just like everything else the government does, this makes no sense.

Ah, tell her to piss off.

“The germen’s believed that they were the superior race.” The germen’s? Really??

CHOCULA!!!!!! YESSSSS!!!!!

Shut down. Please.

I really don’t think this antacid is working.

Dammit. I keep forgetting something. Which I’ve just forgotten again.

I’m not so sure about casseroles.

potato potato potato potato

Total bullshit.

I would wear this all the time.

Yeah, using your top 5 strengths from Strengths Finder as your email signature is so incredibly clever. Way to chain yourself inside that box.

Ghost hunting Saturday!

Oh God. Is everything going to incorporate the periodic table in it now? Thanks Breaking Bad. That’s not at all annoying.

That woman looked at my chest the entire time she was here. Now I’m all self conscious.

Beautiful.

“You look ridiculously good in cashmere.” Well. Who can argue with that?

You know why I can’t get rid of these Glengary Glen Ross tickets? Because it’s a boring ass play, that’s why.

But. They spelled medieval wrong!

I just got an email addressed to Striker.

I love the Miller-Nin room.

“I think there’s only a half dozen lesbians in Hollywood and they just rotate every few years.”

Woah. Neat!

Dear God.

I don’t know who froze those little plastic wrapped packets of rice, but they don’t look appetizing.

Your lunch always smells revolting. Always. Just stop eating here.

I like that actors in British shows look like real people. Actors in American shows always look like models. Unless they’re over 40, then they look haggard. Or maybe not haggard, but like what Hollywood thinks people over 40 in the real world are supposed to look like. Whatever. They don’t get it right.

Um. It’s STILL not an emergency.

Yeah, this is pretty hilarious.

Yes.

Of course I automatically think you’re dead.

“It’s hard out there for an annoying pop culture addicted attention whore.”

Sleepy Hollow is kind of meh, but I’m kind of enjoying it anyway, because I love those kinds of shows. Not meh shows. Supernatural types of shows.

I typed supernational.

Donors. We need more donors.

I kind of feel like I’m slightly out of step with time today. As if my time stream were occurring at a slightly slower or faster rate than everyone else’s and as a result I’m lost and alienish.

My interwebs appear to be sickly.

I always forget that British people call underwear “pants.” That can be confusing.

Keep your pants on!

ooph.

Sorry. Still don’t give a shit about Banksy.

ROADS!

Why do people say “You can’t make this stuff up!”? Of course you can make this stuff up. Or maybe YOU can’t. I make stuff up in my head all the time. It’s called imagination. You should try it.

Gah. Coffee. Stop with the coffee.

“Those profs and students normally using U.S. Gov’t databases will have difficulties accessing these and certain electronic resources (ERIC and Government Docs).  The Government Shutdown is the cause.”

Oooh fancy. That might actually be my first real business lunch. I’d so much rather skip it.

My skin is so dry. It’s insane.

I don’t know why this is suddenly stuck in my head.

Attendance is mandatory.

Dear Lord. Why would anyone need a haggis in the first place, let alone a spare haggis??

Yeah, I can see how shutting down the parks is REALLY making an impact.

I am not sure that there’s much better than being told that someone holds your work in such high regard. I’m just so … my day is made completely.

I got all caught up in that video on the kamikaze and forgot all about you. Sorry.

I thought this stupid week was supposed to cool down, not keep getting warmer. Where’s the cold front that was allegedly coming through on TWO SIDES???

I hate this chair. It’s so hard to do homework in this chair.

Can’t. Stop. Sneezing!

So many forms. SO MANY FORMS!!!

AaaooooooooooOOO!

!!!Love it!!!

I’ve never read any Tom Clancy.

My own subscription to Reason! I’m so excited.

I need more Halloween music in my life right now.

I typed mucis.

I probably need more Halloween mucis too. I’d probably spell it mucous though.

The Good Witch says NO.

you sure are

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