nobody here but us chickens

Month: March 2014

Random Wednesday

wm1410Conscious uncoupling“?? Excuse me while I vomit.

sigh. What a ridiculously liberal article.

I need to take more pictures of the Compound chickens.

I think Kim Kardashian is pretty.

I’ve still never seen her reality show.

I really don’t like reality shows.

Hee

I’m glad one of these cops had some common sense. I kind of love the idea of this man traveling by horseback from Canada to Texas.

I might find some words incredibly annoying – amazeballs immediately comes to mind – but that doesn’t make me climb up on some self righteous soap box and start screeching about how offensive the term is and demanding that you stop using it. Stop telling me what words I’m allowed to say.

At least I’m selling a product.

Oh dear. Bless her heart. What an idiot.

el oh el

All these city folk buying chickens. Makes me chuckle. Don’t call me when you end up with a rooster by mistake.

Ya’ll need an otter fix.

I need to re-read The Once and Future King. It’s been so long, it never occurred to me that it could be a book *about* politics.

I love this, except that I think it’s still slightly off. I think they’d prefer we not *think* as we like either. “American liberalism is the creed that you are entitled to think as you like and entitled to do as you are commanded.”

Awwww!

“Ah. Those days when you can’t seem to get Pearl Jam out of your head.” People have days like that? How awful.

To chai and muffin or not to chai and muffin? I think we all know the answer to this one.

I shrugged at you.

Ha! I might need one of these prints.

Interesting read.

Have to eat. Don’t want to eat.

I can see way too much of what my FB friends are doing on FB since the latest change. Way. Too. Much.

Wow, Patrick Stewart with hair.

I’m so tired of this “right” and “wrong” side of history nonsense. Shut the hell up. Judgmental asshats. Stop telling everyone else what to do all the time and go figure out how to make yourself happy.

That’s the real problem. You’re all so deeply, miserably unhappy, you have to drag the rest of us down with you. Because you cannot grasp the concept that the group of us standing over here telling you to leave us the hell alone are doing just fine without all your intervention and mandates and “for your own good” legislative bullshit.

Buckshot!

Or. You know. Just stop checking your phone.

This song breaks my heart every time. I blame that Kevin Bacon/Elizabeth McGovern movie.

Also of the handful of celebrities I’ve been compared to, I look the most like Elizabeth McGovern. It’s the cheeks. Not that I don’t appreciate the Linda Fiorentino comparisons, but I’m not that naive.

Also, isn’t that Mycroft in the video? If it isn’t, it sure looks like him. Hmm. Maybe it’s not him. Who knows. Someone call Mark Gatiss and ask him if that’s him.

And since I brought up Sherlock … you’re welcome.

That was a weird tangenty thing. I will not apologize.

Why do people keep doing this? It’s 2014. You’re “teaching a lesson” to an entire generation of people that grew up with the internet. If they don’t know this by now, you have bigger problems than the internet.

Also, it’s kind of dumb.

Jennifer Granholm?!? What a bizarre guess.

Oh I forgot about Kingdom of Loathing.

Sciaticaaaaaaaaaa!

Get me the hose, man!

I really need to get this version of this song.

I really thought he was dead. I don’t know why.

I think I need to walk around.

And find the hose.

Yes. I found it incredibly disturbing.

What are you even talking about?

go bag. go. bag.

Infactuated??

OH. MY. GOD.

I should try and fit in another massage. That seems like a really excellent idea.

Also I need a snack. A snack is another really excellent idea.

Ooooooh! I like the one with stars!

I need yarn. I’m going to need to knit while I’m on leave. I will have to order yarn.

But which pistol to take? That is the question.

‘Health insurance has been outlawed, replaced with a welfare program that has been renamed “insurance.”‘

but. but. oh dear.

If it looks like a duck …

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Random Wednesday

wm1418hmmm

What happens next will … what happens next will … what happens next will … GARGH.

How many minutes? Too big a question.

If you KNOW you’re going to miss your appointment, call and reschedule. Don’t just NOT show up.

Too many chevrons. Really. Back away, ladies.

Hmm. Interesting take on this new Cash song. Definitely not the direction I would have gone, but some pretty stunning imagery, nevertheless.

I love this kid’s story.

Absolutely nothing to do with free markets and absolutely everything to do with government regulation. Because safe ketchup, people. Safe ketchup.

too too too

Protein

Rain rain rain rain rain beautiful rain!

The photos from that new TV series Battle Creek? The one that’s allegedly set in Battle Creek? Yeah, they don’t look a whole lot like Battle Creek. Why not film IN Battle Creek instead of LA for crying out loud?

Honestly, it’s not like Battle Creek is a hotbed of nefarious criminal activity anyway.

I have no idea what happened to that thing. None whatsoever.

I can’t be bothered to be sorry about it.

Chances are better than good that that is not something we’re ever going to be a part of.

I kinda dig this thingie. Consolidate all that crap in mah bag.

I just don’t think the Big Lebowski is as phenomenal a film as everyone else thinks it is.

Whaaaa? So they’re making a mini series out of the film? (Now THAT was a kick ass film)

I’d really like a nap. I should put that on my schedule or something.

ARGH. Surely the level of stupid on this Earth is wildly disproportionate to the size of the population.

Seriously. I’m kind of choking on the stupid today. It’s definitely worse than usual.

This should be a nice, quiet, rainy, stress free day. Instead it’s devolved into the ridiculous.

I think I might actually have reached Girl Scout Cookie saturation level. To the freezer with you!

Yeah, that just about sums it up.

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.” C. S. Lewis

so. much. dumb.

I have no opinion about the missing plane at all. So move along, Lost people.

I do have many opinions about this rib. Ooph.

Oh wouldja look at that bruise? It’s epic. Epic, I tell you.

Who wants to go to Target with me?

Who wants to drive me to Target?

Who wants to come and hose down my porch and driveway? That would be really really awesome.

Despite all evidence to the contrary.

I don’t know about music today. I don’t think I can help you. I’m so sorry.

I think I have a headache.

oh wait yes. i wonder if you

Rarely is the question asked …

dammit dammit dammit

What the hell? I’m suddenly being inundated with game requests on FB. Stoppit! Stoppit now!

like a disease

Um. Now I could be wrong. But, I’m pretty sure that has WAY more to do with crazy antivaxers like Jenny McCarthy than with Fox News. I’m pretty sure I’m not wrong.

I should have been a comic book character. Lens Girl.

It’s the one password I can never remember. So weird.

Cullen Bohannon eh? Interesting.

I like the name Cullen.

Yes. It is true. I really need to stop falling.

I’m workin’ on it.

 

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i’ve got the world on a string …

wm1394Don’t mind me, I’m just breaking up the Random with a random post.

I was going to do the Reading List for March, but to be honest I haven’t taken any photos for it, and the last three books I’ve read were on the Kindle, so I didn’t have anything to shoot anyway. You should read Don’t Vote It Just Encourages the Bastards by P.J. O’Rourke. I love him. That’s what I’m reading right now. Which I think is the Squirrel Report’s book club read this month, which I think is why I had it on my list. Yes, that sounds right.

Go read. Or don’t. You could go shop instead. Have you visited my new shop? So many cool things to buy there …

But also read, because books are good for your head. And P.J. O’Rourke is funny. And I’m bossy.

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Random Wednesday

wm1398Duh. Of course River Song. Like that was a surprise.

Hi-larious.

I suppose it’s hard to spell “respect” when you don’t actually get any …

shine up my old brown shoes

What an incredibly awkward photograph.

I need to make Weasley sweaters for the offspring.

Ha!

“Why is the progressive’s first instinct to ban everything??” Exactly. Ban it, make a law, make a law banning it. How is that “progressive”??

Good grief.

God I hate Steely Dan.

I don’t think I like this. It would, however, make reading some non fiction more palatable.

“Find out what it takes to be a profesh photographer.” Well, first of all. Never call yourself a “profesh” photographer because someone will punch you in your hipster throat. I’m not saying that someone will be me. But I’m not not saying it either.

You know what never gets old? Cleaning snow off the car every single morning.

You know what else never gets old? People south of Ohio posting about how warm it is where they are.

This isn’t “justice“. This is redistribution of wealth. It encourages and promotes a perpetual welfare state. Taking away from someone who works hard for what they have to give to someone whom you decide deserves it more is not justice. It’s theft. It’s wrong.

Why do people say “drunk as a skunk”? I never would have thought skunks were such notorious imbibers.

I never would have guessed in a million years that that was Neil Gaiman. But it’s interesting that his most loved character is from a book I dearly loved as a child as well.

But. I don’t want to know Martha Stewart’s unique sex tips.

put on a brand new shirt

What an odd expression, “raring to go”. I love the English language.

I think you mean it’s a travesty of justice, not a travesty of injustice. You know, unless you were actually going for injustice.

*snort* Although, not technically a “selfie” …

I may be a nerd, but that doesn’t mean I have to care about pi day.

Yeah, it made me smile.

People still take shit posted on the Daily Kos seriously?? Whatever. This is a great ad. Even though that actor gives me the creeps. Always has.

Stop calling it “Healthcare Enrollment”. It’s not HEALTHCARE. It’s craptastic health INSURANCE.

Thanks, but I don’t think my bra needs its own “travel case”.

I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo sleepy.

Ha. Yes.

Absolutely everything hurts.

Why is everyone always taking photos of macarons? What have they got against macaroons? Huh?

Neither of them look remotely appealing.

get home early from work

ENOUGH with the snow already. I canna take any more, Captain!

Sonovabitch!!! I am so tired of other people coming up with ways that they think I should be spending more money that I do not have to benefit THEM.

This is not a complicated process. Why is it so difficult for you to follow???

Ack! This is not looking good.

“Liberal social engineers may dream of a society where genders are exactly equal, but that’s nonsense. Men and women are different. We should celebrate that difference instead of claiming that women are victims.” YES!!!!

Hmmm. I don’t like her. Not a bit.

I love lavender.

I don’t think you really read those at all.

if you say that you love me

I totally forgot what I was doing.

Postcards from Time and Space! swoon! That would be a good book title. Or album title. But it’s also 100 Doctor Who post cards in one beautiful blue box.

I object to the phrase “sister friend”.

I don’t have that much room.

Little gigantic Norwegian head.

American Judicial Process. God I hope it’s interesting. I can’t do another class where I can’t keep my damn eyes open. Of course I won’t be pregnant so that will help …

Argh. It helps if you read the right line, jentober.

Intriguing!

I’m going to be needing some stamps.

I need to sew these buttons on. I hate sewing buttons on.

Dammit. I had an idea. And it was really good. And I don’t know where I put it.

Stupid sleep deprivation.

didn’t i didn’t i didn’t i see you cryin?

I have eaten entirely too many Girl Scout cookies this year.

It’s all about the boundaries.

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… and neither does my sister

wm1939Being a big sister is tough.

We got this great onesie from my friend Amanda. (Actually we have two of them, because I ordered one also.) It says “My mom doesn’t want your advice.” I told the Mister on Sunday that we need another one that says “My mom doesn’t want your advice, and neither does my sister.”

Miss W has been overjoyed about Stormageddon’s arrival from the very beginning. She cannot wait to be a big sister. She can’t wait to help out with everything (except diapers, she does not do diapers), to teach the new little one all about the coolest, grossest things in the world, to read stories, and go on adventures. She already knows Stormageddon is going to be so overwhelmingly CUTE she is going to just literally cry.

The problem is the getting there. Miss W is finding that all kinds of well intentioned adults have all kinds of well intentioned life lessons to teach her about being a big sister. What well intentioned adults don’t remember about being 10, is that all these well intentioned lessons come across as criticisms to a girl who didn’t know she was supposed to know these things. And why would she know these things?

So when a toddler gets his hands on a candle and W happens to be sitting nearby, maybe she doesn’t catch it. But maybe she has no idea she’s supposed to be keeping an eye on this toddler in a room full of responsible, well intentioned adults, because no one asked her to. When an adult points this instance out telling her she “will need to be paying attention to things like this and be responsible because she’s going to have to help her mom!” it comes across a little harsher than people intend. And maybe she doesn’t think about the fact that toddlers think differently than she does, so when she “shows” someone a toy and then takes it back, it isn’t her intention to be mean or to send the toddler into a meltdown. She’s just showing something off. But she’ll learn that lesson too.

There are so many things that well intentioned people have said, and it’s becoming just the tiniest bit overwhelming. People need to relax and give this phenomenal girl a chance to learn how to be a big sister as she goes. Stormageddon isn’t even here yet! Did any one of us get a manual on how to be sisters before our siblings arrived? Or parents for that matter! We know you mean well, but just like with new mothers, when tempted to offer unsolicited advice, perhaps you should instead consider biting your tongue. Please don’t take this personally. You shared with us, so we wanted to share with you.

Miss W is intelligent, kind, generous, and so full of love. Anything else can be learned along the way, just like the rest of us are doing. So thanks, well intentioned adults, but we don’t need your advice.

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Random Wednesday

wm1413sick of the cynical

I’m so tired of people posting these memes that lump Detroit in with Chicago, New York, and DC as having some of the “strictest gun control laws in the country.” Detroit gun laws are the same as the entire rest of the state, which is an open carry, shall issue state. Research, people. It’s a Google click away.

This put a smile on my face.

el oh el

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow OW ow owowowowowowowowOW

What have I told you about passive aggressive bitchery? I believe I have told you to take it elsewhere.

Ha. Thunder Twister.

I dunno. That could be Jennifer Lawrence’s new thing. The Annual Oscar Fall.

Yeah, kinda loved the Benedict Cumberbatch photobomb. And that’s all I know about the Oscars.

Kind of hard to get excited about Annie Leibovitz’s book when it costs 3 grand. I could buy a car for 3 grand. Ridiculous.

I loooove these!

No, seriously, enough with the popcorn already.

I like hats.

stray animal farm

Breasts? Um no. You’re the only one seeing breasts.

somethin’ about you

I am writing a manual for my job. A monkey should be able to follow these directions. I bet there will still be people who look at it and say “Huh??”

I was just reminded of this site. So poignant. I wish I’d thought of it.

Whenever a politician says they are “cutting spending” it usually means the exact opposite. Because. You know. Words are just words and are TOTALLY interchangeable and stuff.

Oh my God I’m so uncomfortable.

I need one of those chiminea things.

admininistrative

oooooooh hoooooooo

You know what else I need? Everything on my Amazon Wish List. Yep. Need.

Aw Firefly cookie cutters! Cute! I almost never buy cookie cutters because I don’t actually like sugar cookies.

scratched your farewell couplet

I was going to make ginger bread cookies but I can’t remember what happened. I probably got exhausted just thinking about it.

Yes.

Ulysses S. Grant eh? Interesting. I sort of expected Andrew Jackson.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Hang it up, Norway.

“Have you ever been bitten by a turkey?” Seriously? Well, as it happens … These people know that birds don’t bite so much as peck, right? On account of they don’t have teeth. Which are kind of necessary for biting.

Ha. Kind of looks like you’re trying to hold a pistol while wearing an oven mitt. Poor MI.

Pathological.

I have a headache now. I really didn’t need that, thank you. You just take it back.

I like Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips. They are tasty.

are you alive? are you alive?

forgit it

Can we just stop “standing with” people now? That got old so fast.

I think Stormageddon needs one of these. Probably Miss W needs one in her size too.

I dunno. I may forever associate the symphony with morning sickness now.

What? I can still barely eat spaghetti thanks to that first pregnancy. And that was 10 years ago.

Body memory is looooooooooooong, fellow.

No, seriously. Can I just have everything in this shop?

Honestly. I don’t know what you’re doing, but you should buy something.

It’s just kind of disturbing. I’m sorry. That was not a good choice.

3 weeks, 6 days

Wow. 24 degrees outside! I actually had to turn off the space heater and take my sweater off!

Damn. This headache just escalated by eleventy for no apparent reason.

if so and so is so delightful

Ugh. So much static. The air is just too dry.

This stupid battery will not hold a charge.

And just like that, I’m sick of everything on the iPod again.

Sometimes I get the phrase “necrotizing fasciitis” stuck in my head for no apparent reason.

OK, over the Ellen “selfie” that she didn’t actually shoot. Moving along.

“They don’t sound like that! You’re a racist. Or an accentist! Or something like that! Yeah!”

OH MY GOD!!!!

No, I did not just try to put my sweater on upside down. Shut up.

Oh that smells nice. I haven’t worn that one in a while.

Ugh. Is there anything worse than swollen ankles? Oh. Wait. Yes. Yes, I can think of one thing that is worse. Way worse.

I miss my jeans. And t shirts.  A lot.

i’m lonely as the average sea

I love these. I wish they were a little less spendy.

I love all of these. Except Ronald McDonald. And the wax figures creeped me the hell out.

Why do they sell those separately? Why? It makes no sense!

No, really. What the hell happened to Prince?

refluxion

How many minutes?

I miss hot tea.

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff – sigh. Guess I didn’t really need that knee anyway.

Ted Nugent has an important message for me! Whatever, dude.

Argh. I wish I hadn’t seen that post.

I probably need to go knit something.

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