nobody here but us chickens

Random Wednesday

wm 3626It would be really nice if Facebook would top switching my feed to “top stories”. I have it set to “most recent” for a reason!

I keep thinking today is Thursday. I’m doomed.

Additionally. Not in addition. Additionally. Additionally. Additionally. Come on, people.

I have always loathed diagramming sentences.

She’ll have to marry rich. She clearly isn’t going to get by on her intelligence.

“The next time you think only the government should have guns remember that same government just mistakenly shipped Live Anthrax.”

I don’t know why it surprised me to come across Bill Janovitz on Instagram, but it did. Pleasantly.

50 pounds!? That’s like $100!

Charles DeLint always makes me feel vaguely uneasy. I’m reasonably certain that this is not his intention.

But that’s what it sounds like in my head.

The violent seizure of someone’s property.

“Yep. Nothin’ like a bitch wavin’ a banana around, talkin’ about the environment.”

The motion sensors that control the lights in these buildings can’t see me. Apparently I have become the ghost in the machine.

I dunno. I just have a hard time buying Gillian Anderson’s British accent.

Oh. Have you met my other boyfriend, Vince Vaughn?

Oh yeah. That totally happens to me all the time.

Sorry, Wool and the Gang. I’m mostly just not feelin’ ya.

Sloths and moths!

They’re like this weird zen language that makes no sense to me but forms a sort of other planetary poetry.

“Feminism has become a catch-all vegetable drawer where bunches of clingy sob sisters can store their moldy neuroses.”

He could walk down the street, girls could not resist his stare.

What? There’s a new Florence and the Machine?? Hand it over!

Ha: “Every single movie in production needs a person whose only job is to read the book, then slap the director with it every time they say ‘Yeah, but what if …'”

Listening to Shania Twain does not make your music collection “diverse”.

I got some mad skills, yo, but raising literary greats from the dead ain’t one of ’em.

I’m sorry. I just don’t care for Eddie Redmayne.

Love!

OMG so tired of Brucelyn. Most courageous sports figure of the year? Please.

Hi-larious.

I always think people’s Facebook posts are directed at me. I don’t think that’s ego so much as the paranoia derived from a lifetime of pissing people off.

I could have sworn I had made a note of that.

It’s so terrifyingly easy to ruin someone’s life. It’s appalling that women are so willing to do so. We showed this “documentary” on campus.

I’m pretty sure the waitress dress was designed with my body in mind. I can seriously rock a waitress dress, lemme tell ya.

Oh course catalog. Everyone thinks I hate you, but I don’t.

Ooooooh-kaaaaaaay …

I have no idea what those numbers mean.

i HAVE LOST TH

OOpS

I have lost the ability to remember more than 5 of the eleventy billion passwords I have to use on a daily basis. I admit it. I am defeated.

Which famous celeb-ritarian are you? You’re Rand Paul! You’re soft spoken, principled, and powerful. You’re probably socially conservative, but you don’t force your beliefs on others. You might not be so hot on immigration, but you sure as hell know how to thump them Democrats. You probably do a good job in getting Tea Partiers and conservatives to read Ludwig Von Mises. Democrats hate your guts and think you’re racist.

Interesting. Rand Paul isn’t even a libertarian.

I don’t know. Pizza or tacos. Pizza or tacos. It’s not like you can go wrong with either.

Um. He might be drunk, but he can probably still read. What’s to stop him from waking up drunk, finding his keys after reading the note, and then driving away. Drunk. Yeah, Drunk Knight. Good on you. Or something. I know you meant well.

Current favorite book by a living author. That’s all I want to know. I have reasons.

I don’t know. I don’t think I should eat this Snickers bar.

I remember the first time I ever read a word he wrote. I can’t say that about most authors. Even ones I really love.

How Libertarian are you? You’re Barry Goldwater! You’re a strong conservative, who believes in limited government and economic freedom. You’re even cool with gay people, and praise their service in the military. You’re rock solid on economic issues, but when it comes to civil rights acts, you won’t vote for them if you think they are unconstitutional. The constitution is the law, and that’s just how it is.

Yeah, OK. I can see that.

I did not eat the Snickers bar.

I still hate yogurt.

I really should probably be using a standing desk.

“I would prefer a solution that does not involve a chicken in my house.”
“There are chickens in the house.”
“Son of a bitch! They better be delicious!”

Who the hell is Lincoln Chafee?

There is way too much Pete Yorn in my life right now.

even if you never

I think you might possibly have missed her point there.

need. new. music.

I hate that Facebook tells you when your message was seen. I don’t like knowing that I messaged someone and they chose not to answer me. Sometimes I accidentally open a message before I’m ready to answer it and then I think “Oh no! They’ll think I’m ignoring them and I’m not! I just can’t answer this while I’m driving!” But if it’s hours and hours and days or whatever and you still haven’t responded to me? My feelings might be a tiny bit hurt.

Well. That was an interesting noise.

If loving Peter Murphy is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Thanks, Stormageddon. That gouge made with your tiny raptor claw was exactly what my eye was missing.

“Lena Dunham, a young HBO star/high-profile pretend victim/painful memoir writer/abortion fanatic/half-baked leftist/Oberlin caricature. Dunham, in short, is like a big, flimsy cardboard box full of squeaky bad ideas, each repeatedly scrambling, with tiny T-Rex arms, to be the first to make it out of her mouth.” All. of. This.

I’m never going to get around to watching that Nick Drake documentary, let’s face it.

Sorry. So sorry.

It all just came out wrong. It always does.

And that would be the second time ever that a student has mistakenly referred to me as Dr.

God. A Hole in the World. Totally unrelated to Angel, but I immediately thought of that episode that just rips my guts out every. damn. time.

Every damn time.

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1 Comment

  1. ScottO

    This isn’t your fault, but:
    I loathe sites with pop-under ads, especially when they auto-play noisy audio.
    Also, there are only 12 now, not 13 like the permalink says. LOL

    Eddie who?

    Henry Wood: Time and Again by Brian Meeks. I don’t really read a LOT of books.

    More Snickerseses for ME!

    Wait. It isn’t Thursday?

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