Happy Birthday, Mister. I’m glad you’re here.

Hey, I can’t help it if I like those Kenny Chesney songs. I’m not going to apologize.

The only reason I haven’t unsubscribed from this Bust email is for the hilarious train wreck of their third wave feminist victim hysteria.

That is an interesting word of the day.

Does this ape live alone at the zoo? Maybe he’s lonely. Everyone thinks it’s cute, but maybe he’s very lonely. This is just making me sad.

I’m pale for a REASON!

I find the thought of a lobotomy absolutely terrifying. Didn’t anyone ever see that movie about Frances Farmer? Although I hear that may never have actually happened to her. It’s still terrifying.

This is kind of brilliantly hilarious.

Nooooooooo gravy. And traditionally it’s rutabagas, my friend.

If you wanna see drunk girls singing along to “Born in the USA” you have to look.

“Is student loan debt immoral”??? Please.

I love so many of them.

Why is it so hard to find 8.5×11 college ruled filler paper? Why is it all 8×10.5? Who the hell uses 8×10.5 notebook paper? Why is that even a thing?

Maybe after I graduate. Maybe after I graduate. Maybe after I graduate.

“While I appreciate your proclivity for fucking shit up…”

I don’t want to know that much about most people.

Hi-larious.

I really don’t see the need for the air conditioning to be on in this stupid office. I’m freezing my arse off.

I am not a blogger.

I reached a new level of zen-ish-ness this week. It’s kind of interesting. It’s called “I just don’t have it in me to actually care.”

Keep your fingers crossed that class number two does not suck.

Brilliant!

I still have paint on my feet.

Sooooo this popped up in my feed right after I complained about the prevalence of starting sentences with soooooooooooo last week. And I thought it was hilarious and when I read the headline – the Mister said “It’s like that commercial with the kid and the drugs and he’s all ‘I learned it from you!!'” And SO it is. Yet another reason to hate NPR. Just staaaaaaahp.

Note to students: Leggings still not pants.

There is very definitely something wrong with this Diet Mtn. Dew.

She reminds me of Anjelica Huston.

OMG the campus bookstore is completely useless.

I need a snack. It’s super serial.

I hate course packs so much.

I don’t know what you’re thinkin’. I know you don’t want to read Antigone. 

Hmmmm. I like it.

What the predicate says, it does.

I have so much reading to do. But not to you. You don’t want to read Antigone either, my friend.