Another old photo. Trying to make myself laugh today.

Hell’s bells, this is brilliant.

Stop calling me Jen. You are not my friend.

That whole sequence with Mulder and the line dancing and all of it? So much to love.

“You’re fathoming the disconnect.”
“And it hurts my brainnsssssssssssssss.”

I like this story. What a good guy.

What? The little tiny sign said “please drink me!” with a smiley face, so I did. It was so polite.

Stay being the best!

IT’S A TRAP!

IT’S A TROPE!

“It’s like you’re working at an abusive husband.”

Well I guess the winter storm has started.

I wish my shoulder wasn’t mysteriously wonked. Because ow.

Oh my GOD. How is License to Ill 30 years old? HOW AM I THAT OLD??

Two post cards from Africa! Yay!

Post cards make me happy.

“Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity.”

Stupid washing machine.

I’m so sorry if I bothered you.

I would very much like to go to Scotland someday.

I hope my phone works tomorrow. Coverage gets weird when I go north.

Ooh! The capitol building has free wi-fi. By which I mean taxpayer funded wi-fi.

I wish job postings listed what the pay was.

What a horrible day. I’m trying to say, no, it’s OK. I’m breathing, and that’s something. But it’s just a horrible day.

The blizzard ruined my hair.

letters i never sent

What does this taste like? It’s weird. I don’t even know.

Oooh the like button is all weird now.

I’m not going to win. I had zero expectations of winning. And I’m going to try really hard not to be disappointed anyway when I don’t win.

I stopped regularly using Twitter several years ago. It was too easy to be a jerk. But it sucks that Twitter is taking this course of action. I hope my boyfriend Adam Baldwin comes to Facebook instead.

OK, I think I’m already not a fan of the new Facebook “reactions.”

My trip to the capitol is not looking good …

And just like that, it’s canceled. Oh well.

I’m still breathing. I’M STILL BREATHING.

Guess I don’t need to haul these protein bars with me then.

I need to finish listening to this lecture on death systems.

She said comedians talk about slaying the audience and I thought she said Canadians.

I should quit the internet.

but this tomato loves you

No, seriously. Ow. ow ow ow ow owo.owowowo.ow. Ow.

Horse in a bookcase. It’s a horse in a bookcase.

I really just want waffles for dinner.

I need to read some cases. Whee.

OMG stay out of the drawers!

“I don’t believe that guy. I think he did. Just maybe not so fast.”

So cool!

“I don’t like it when people are sad. Especially animals.”

She’s eating the waffles for me. What a sacrifice.

pushy pushy pushy

But my gauge is right on!

Bah. My tea has gone cold.

Where the hell is my row counter?

It’s not like we’ve had a snow day yet this year.

It’s not like I didn’t tell you.

Ah the hell with it. I’m throwing in the towel. Again. I’m going to go finish that episode of Jessica Jones.

Sounded just like someone opening a window.

I don’t have a photo for you this week so I pulled an old favorite self portrait from the Random Confederacy series.

Wow, that was such a great series. I hadn’t looked at those in quite a while. We did good, the Redhead and I.

You know what? Absolutely everything is making me tired right now. I am tired of all the things.

I have to admit, this made me feel better about my life. I work full time, I go to school halftime, I have two kids and a husband, I have to study, I travel around 80 minutes per day. Yeah, my house is less than magazine worthy. If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go cry and also collapse from exhaustion now.

Someone asked me the other day, “Why are you sleep deprived.” And that’s pretty much why I just cannot with the people.

I really like this lady. She gets bonus points for being a Michigander. She’s just. I don’t know. I like her. Check out her blog. Her Instagram is great too.

How did I miss all that cool stuff when I was in Baltimore?

HA!

Not buying those booties. Not doing it. I don’t care how cute they are. Saving money. Gah. I need an inheritance.

Gah. All the way through Chuck for the second time and depressed all over again that it’s gone.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

anonymous potato

Oops. OOPS. Oh oops. Saying oops makes absolutely everything completely OK. Oops.

The phrase “paranoia will destroy ya” is on loop in my skull at the moment but my brain has changed paranoia to perestroika. Yeah, I don’t even know.

What? This tiny bag of ranch flavored Doritos isn’t going to eat itself.

Yeah, you have to throw that whole Strengths Finder deal in with this nonsense too. I’ve complained about the ridiculousness of Strengths Finder before. Yet many departments on this campus use it. They require that you put your 4 or 5 or whatever it is strengths in your email signature. There is a company in Texas – Rackspace – that appears to be entirely built around this concept. They put your strengths on your name tags, you’re assigned to teams based on them, they have classes and counseling for them. It’s like a freaky cult.

This made me think of my friend Dock, and also want to shred stuff. All the things. Just throw all the things in the shredder. Right now.

Wearing contacts for the first time in two weeks. It’s remarkable how much I can’t see.

I’m trying to work on this paper, but I just realized I’ve been sitting here, staring at this Beanie Baby rooster, for the last five minutes.

What the hell is it with college kids? Their phones are glued to their hands but do you think they’ll respond to a damn email?

Not apologizing. Just acknowledging.

That does not sound delicious.

PROOFREAD    P R O O F R E A D   PROOFREAD

I need a t shirt that says “Save my sanity – P R O O F R E A D.”

I was not really impressed with Lady Gaga’s tribute. Sorry.

I feel like I stepped off the path of enlightenment and into some serious negativity.

Sorry. Writing a paper on Buddhist death practices. I’ll be fine. Really.

Why can’t a movie just be a movie? Why do you have to analyze it do death?

How long have you worked here? Right. So how is it that you think you can tell me how to do my job??

Oh wait. Bad karma again. Shrug it off. Breathe. Move on. Move on dot org!

The Marxist was really nice to me but her office smelled weird and now my pants smell like her office.

I had no idea the FCC did not regulate basic cable. I wonder why it took them so long to drop an F bomb.

But I don’t want to watch your video. Why can’t I just read what you’re trying to say?

Ha! Brilliant!

This sums up the life of every con I know:
My student staff to me: “I don’t like conservatives.”
Me: “You don’t seem to have a problem with me.”
Student, caught totally off guard: “Well. Uh. You’re OK. [pause] I don’t like conservatives who have to tell me their opinion all the time.”
Me, smiling: “Conservatives feel the same way about liberals.”

I for real just forgot my zip code and started writing down the zip code of my hometown. I haven’t lived there in more than twenty years.

I’m sorry, but I think it’s lame that Obama plans to skip Scalia’s funeral. That’s just disrespectful.

Guys. Kanye is kicking my ass. Kanye. Come on. Surely I’m a better human than Kanye? Surely? The comments on that Kanye fundraiser are pretty funny though.

Gah. Now I have to wash these pants. They’re sooooo stinky. It’s bizarre. And icky.

The people in this office sure do a lot of standing around and talking.

Think about the cockroaches for just a minute.

Maybe I’ll just go get certified as a welder after I graduate. I’m bound to make more money as a welder than anything else I might do. Plus I already know the basics.

all i ever longed for

I’m just babbling.

I’m only ever –

So wait. Are there going to be more seasons of New X Files after this??

OK my hair is genuinely gross right now.

I feel oddly calm and prepared for this exam. IT’S A TRAP!

Well. I think that was a pretty good twelfth birthday haul.

Twelfth is such a weird word. Very Tolkien-esque.

It’s like freaking Hoth out there. Nearly fell on my ass three times walking from my car to my office.

Why do people have to overcomplicate every damn thing? “Are my glasses in yet?” “Nope!” See how easy that was? But no, it has to be all “Well I know your tray has been pulled mmkay? And so we get shipments in when they come in and we pull and make sure everything is OK and then we call the patient and so I know your tray has been pulled mmmkay?” Gah.

Yoga ball chairs are the very best for desk chair dancing, just in case you were looking for tips.

If I were good at doodling beyond stick figures I’d do one of those calendar thingies too. But that’s not really how I roll.

i don’t have the drugs to sort it out

“You make her sound so disingenuous … like an Eagles’ song.”

I need to start doing yoga again.

I need to magically find the time to start doing yoga again.

What if I’m not really dead?

The idea of someone keeping watch over the body is comforting to me, as though someone were still there, holding your hand while you made your way to whatever came next. It makes death seem less lonely.

I’m reasonably certain that this year is trying to kill me.

I keep having this thought that after the last meeting of my last class I’ll go home and just sleep for three days straight. I won’t even be able to help it. I am already picturing the skull crushing headache that kind of sleep would induce.

“Where can I rent a guillotine?”

Tater Tot Nachos? Just no.

Now they want to take away my Macbook. Whatever.

quaaludier

I met this guy my freshman year at Michigan State. We were at a Tori Amos concert at the State Theatre in Kalamazoo. He was a student at Western. He sent me one mix tape a week for a whole semester. It was so freaking awesome. The guy was a total ass, gothic passive aggressive douche to the extreme, but he was a really good artist and had interesting taste in music. He’d decorate the covers with his drawings. Nothing will ever beat a mix tape with a well thought out cover. Nick Hornby hit it right on the head in High Fidelity when he described the process of creating a mix tape and the message you send with it.

Plus a package every week in the mail. Talk about happy. I love mail. Well. Not bills and junk. Happy mail.

Yacht rock: “The soothing sounds of the dying gasps of the Carter Administration.”

The phrase “human family” weirds me out.

Ooooh this chunky highland cowl is so cozy! It’s totally keeping me warm today. Y’all should buy one from me for your sweeties.

But I only have one Instagram account.

Dammit. I should have gone to Hobby Lobby yesterday. This weather is the suck.

I need buttons and yarn. Buttons and yarn. Buttons and yarn. Buttons and yarn. And a chauffeur.

Victory! I get to keep my Macbook!

We’re keeping the hope alive, my friends.

Democratic Socialists are against “greedy” people. Seems a little greedy to me to demand that those who work hard for the money they’ve earned share that money with others who maybe didn’t work quite as hard or at all. Democratic Socialists are amusing and tiresome all at the same time.

Hey, I just schedule shit.

I can’t tell if they’ve been out there for the last 4 hours continuously shoveling or if they just keep coming back. It will not stop snowing.

This is really cool.

Screw it, I’ll go to Hobby Lobby tomorrow.

Aw but dammit. It’s suddenly sunny and clear. Stupid Wednesday work crap interfering with my lunch. I need to face facts. I’m going to lose my parking space. ARGH.

I had no idea that there was still a winter storm warning. It’s all sunny out and the snow stopped. Funny.

That’s enough talk about that.

can i get an amen?

I think copying me on that was rather redundant.

What the hell is all over my pants?

Holy wow, I’m about to fall asleep.

I just. I can’t believe that’s someone’s real name.

I hope you all eat meat!

Cannot stop yawning.

My brain is cooked.

Ooooh chai latte!

I should never have done the whole eggplant thing.

ILU Ravelry.

That is not at all good for your hearing.

Yeesh!

It isn’t Random Cell Phone Picture Day.

I don’t know about the new X Files. Middle aged Mulder always looks constipated.

Well that was a weird phone problem.

I hate this phone.

Yep. This is the mom body I am inhabiting today. Whee.

My truck does not like to switch back and forth from 4 wheel drive unless I’m stationary. The Jeep was realy good about switching as long as I wasn’t accelerating when I did it.

I miss the Jeep.

You must always operate under the assumption that there will be no snow day!

I regret the chai.

I like my “trust no one” face.

I need spring to get here. I’ve reached that point in the season where I just do not even know what to wear anymore.

I did not even realize I was sliding into a foul mood, and yet here I find myself.

Guess that means goodnight.

I am very likely a lunatic for turning it down. But it feels like the right decision.

I read that as “art is a form of competitive prayer.” It was contemplative, but competitive made total sense to me.

Dude. It’s not “right of passage”. It’s “rite of passage.” Rite. Come on.

Also it’s propitiating. Not propitating.

i can’t carry the weight of this war

Don’t ruin a surprise gift of something by telling the recipient how little it cost you.

Neeeeeeeds it.

I’m never going to make it through this semester. Thus far, on one topic: Interned instead of interred (by everyone who has referenced it). Alter instead of altar. Extant instead of extent.

Death by homophones. This class is literally going to kill me with bad grammar.

what’s the use of bein’ bad

Oy with the poodles already.

I just like saying raison d’etre.

I carry post card stamps with me. Perhaps I’ve mentioned that I love post cards.

I still love this bracelet.

Wait. What? Who responds to an auto-reply email?

Hmmm. Kinda like Random. But more visual. And with more sexy stuff.

My socks were redacted.

they always let you down when you need ’em

His Instagram feed is like a David Lynch film.

Huh. Gryffindor. Not what I expected.

It’s pouring rain and I left my umbrella ella ella in the car ar ar.

OMG just stop. Just stop already. Stop.

Also I’ve never been able to listen to that song all the way through.

I totally thought that was a bag of croutons.

I haven’t been to Chicago in a couple of years. This will be a fun field trip. Maybe. Possibly.

I like her outfit. She’s all Steampunk Grandma or something. I would totally wear that coat.

Let’s face it. I’d probably wear the whole outfit.

unsubscribe unsubscribe unsubscribe unsubscribe unsubscribe unsubscribe unsubscribe

Wow, that was surprisingly difficult to type.

You should check out my friend Dock’s Youtube channel. He posts some fun stuff. Plus he’s just about the nicest guy you’ll ever meet.

I miss the 9th Doctor.

Crop tops are kind of terrifying. We maybe should have left those in the 90s.

They founded a fort in Fort St. Joseph? I think they founded a fort in Niles and it was called Fort St. Joseph. But whatever.

Holy wow, is that the sun??

I hope my glasses hurry up and come in. I’m excited to have my old frames back.

I think I’m at a standstill.

Dammit Rand! Dammit!

That unfriending your family during the election cycle thing was meant to be a joke.

I ran out of lunches in my cubby.

Me: “I have this nightmare that it’s going to come down to Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders in the general election. And what the hell am I supposed to do with a choice like that?”
A: “Killing spree.”

HA!

There is some music on my iPod that seems to have embedded itself there. When I look at what’s on the iPod in iTunes, it doesn’t show up so I can’t delete it. It’s incredibly frustrating. I am going to have to do a total wipe and see if that works.

They all look like babies to me anyway.

everything means everything

There are an awful lot of words in my head these days.

You talk entirely too much. I’m sure you have a job to do.

This is a spectacularly tedious task and my arm keeps falling asleep. I need a better desk chair.

I may or may not be chair dancing at my desk right now …

Actually. What I really need is a standing desk. Then I can just straight up dance at my desk and also my arm would not be falling asleep right now. And also I’d feel less blobbish. Probably.

I have to say, though, that with as tedious as this is, this is exactly how I love a work day to go. No one bothers me and I can block out the world with my earbuds and loud music. Brings back fond memories of being locked in the darkroom all day.

no one’s

“It’s in my peripheral village!”
“Your peripheral village??”
“I wonder what lives there. Probably all of the things you see out of the corner of your eye.”

I need to clean my guns.

There is just too much to do.

Any rational human can see that these two men are raving idiots.

The problem with skinny jeans is twofold: 1) You have to keep your legs shaved. 2) Men wear them.

I think you call them “beta males.”

Dammit. My leg is asleep. The whole entire leg is asleep.

I really probably ought to be doing some studying right now but I’m just fried.

I need new fun vinyl stickers for the Macbook. I’m bored with Ron Swanson and cowboy on a T-Rex.

now would be a good time for some grenades, don’t ya think?

Here’s one. Then everyone will see it during staff meetings. Ha.

Tiny Oreos ILU!

Apparently Stormageddon did not appreciate that issue of Reason. He has torn it to bits. And maybe some pieces.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I enjoy walking around with hairy legs. I just maybe don’t feel like shaving every single day.

Must knit through the stash. Must knit through the stash. Must knit through the stash.

Must go work on Miss W’s birthday sweater.

Must go find just one more tiny Oreo.

Must must must

must

must

I totally forgot that it’s Wednesday. Ha.

Stop signing your work emails with “Best”. It comes across as insincere.

Evidently We Are Knitters is the American Wool and the Gang with slightly less annoying emails.

I like this idea.

Sunday I listened to this for 3 hours and 38 minutes while I studied. It both eased the pain of my weekend migraine and helped me focus on my reading. Best white noise ever. Thank you, Amanda. I love you dearly.

“… mere meddlesome interferences with the rights of the individual, and they are not saved from condemnation by the claim that they are passed in the exercise of the police power …”

Yeah, I have to say, I’ve been disappointed with the X Files so far.

I don’t know. I think this might be the busiest semester ever.

I don’t know why that’s so surprising to people all the time.

Things are sparse today. Sparse indeed.

These are beautiful humans, right here.

Politics is making me tired today, man. Tired.

I’m pretty sure that that was satire.

I think that’s 17 hours, not 17 minutes. I think.

Stormageddon. Stop drawing on my laptop. Stop drawing in my Constitutional Law book. Stop drawing on your face. And that snake is not a whip.

There is something wrong with this contact lens.

Nope. Still don’t understand Google+.

I cannot stand the characters in this book. They’re horrible people. I hate the anti-capitalist message that it’s beating me over the head with. I hate the future teen slang. I hate this book. Every once in a while, though, the author has written the most beautiful sentence and I want to keep them. I just want to put those sentences in my pocket and carry them around with me. “Hope was looking off to the side, as if someone she missed was calling her name.”

They should change the name of these tiny Oreos to Crack. Because that is what they are.

I can’t decide if I want to go to D.C. or not. Weirdest dilemma ever.

It probably would have been a good idea to bring the damn charger home with me. Don’t know what I was thinking.

I really think I might almost rather do the Lansing trip.

I still don’t understand what happened to those emails.

Kids and their nap squandering. They have no idea how good they have it.

The section on reproductive freedom is just way too long.

I keep forgetting what day it is. It’s weird having a day off in the middle of the week. Throws everything off.

Miles and miles of tiny stockinette stitches. I am ready for this project to be done.

deceive, inveigle, obfuscate

But I don’t wanna take the GRE.

Stupid standardized testing.

I have to finish dealing with my hair.