Duh. Of course River Song. Like that was a surprise.

Hi-larious.

I suppose it’s hard to spell “respect” when you don’t actually get any …

shine up my old brown shoes

What an incredibly awkward photograph.

I need to make Weasley sweaters for the offspring.

Ha!

“Why is the progressive’s first instinct to ban everything??” Exactly. Ban it, make a law, make a law banning it. How is that “progressive”??

Good grief.

God I hate Steely Dan.

I don’t think I like this. It would, however, make reading some non fiction more palatable.

“Find out what it takes to be a profesh photographer.” Well, first of all. Never call yourself a “profesh” photographer because someone will punch you in your hipster throat. I’m not saying that someone will be me. But I’m not not saying it either.

You know what never gets old? Cleaning snow off the car every single morning.

You know what else never gets old? People south of Ohio posting about how warm it is where they are.

This isn’t “justice“. This is redistribution of wealth. It encourages and promotes a perpetual welfare state. Taking away from someone who works hard for what they have to give to someone whom you decide deserves it more is not justice. It’s theft. It’s wrong.

Why do people say “drunk as a skunk”? I never would have thought skunks were such notorious imbibers.

I never would have guessed in a million years that that was Neil Gaiman. But it’s interesting that his most loved character is from a book I dearly loved as a child as well.

But. I don’t want to know Martha Stewart’s unique sex tips.

put on a brand new shirt

What an odd expression, “raring to go”. I love the English language.

I think you mean it’s a travesty of justice, not a travesty of injustice. You know, unless you were actually going for injustice.

*snort* Although, not technically a “selfie” …

I may be a nerd, but that doesn’t mean I have to care about pi day.

Yeah, it made me smile.

People still take shit posted on the Daily Kos seriously?? Whatever. This is a great ad. Even though that actor gives me the creeps. Always has.

Stop calling it “Healthcare Enrollment”. It’s not HEALTHCARE. It’s craptastic health INSURANCE.

Thanks, but I don’t think my bra needs its own “travel case”.

I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo sleepy.

Ha. Yes.

Absolutely everything hurts.

Why is everyone always taking photos of macarons? What have they got against macaroons? Huh?

Neither of them look remotely appealing.

get home early from work

ENOUGH with the snow already. I canna take any more, Captain!

Sonovabitch!!! I am so tired of other people coming up with ways that they think I should be spending more money that I do not have to benefit THEM.

This is not a complicated process. Why is it so difficult for you to follow???

Ack! This is not looking good.

“Liberal social engineers may dream of a society where genders are exactly equal, but that’s nonsense. Men and women are different. We should celebrate that difference instead of claiming that women are victims.” YES!!!!

Hmmm. I don’t like her. Not a bit.

I love lavender.

I don’t think you really read those at all.

if you say that you love me

I totally forgot what I was doing.

Postcards from Time and Space! swoon! That would be a good book title. Or album title. But it’s also 100 Doctor Who post cards in one beautiful blue box.

I object to the phrase “sister friend”.

I don’t have that much room.

Little gigantic Norwegian head.

American Judicial Process. God I hope it’s interesting. I can’t do another class where I can’t keep my damn eyes open. Of course I won’t be pregnant so that will help …

Argh. It helps if you read the right line, jentober.

Intriguing!

I’m going to be needing some stamps.

I need to sew these buttons on. I hate sewing buttons on.

Dammit. I had an idea. And it was really good. And I don’t know where I put it.

Stupid sleep deprivation.

didn’t i didn’t i didn’t i see you cryin?

I have eaten entirely too many Girl Scout cookies this year.

It’s all about the boundaries.

sick of the cynical

I’m so tired of people posting these memes that lump Detroit in with Chicago, New York, and DC as having some of the “strictest gun control laws in the country.” Detroit gun laws are the same as the entire rest of the state, which is an open carry, shall issue state. Research, people. It’s a Google click away.

This put a smile on my face.

el oh el

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow OW ow owowowowowowowowOW

What have I told you about passive aggressive bitchery? I believe I have told you to take it elsewhere.

Ha. Thunder Twister.

I dunno. That could be Jennifer Lawrence’s new thing. The Annual Oscar Fall.

Yeah, kinda loved the Benedict Cumberbatch photobomb. And that’s all I know about the Oscars.

Kind of hard to get excited about Annie Leibovitz’s book when it costs 3 grand. I could buy a car for 3 grand. Ridiculous.

I loooove these!

No, seriously, enough with the popcorn already.

I like hats.

stray animal farm

Breasts? Um no. You’re the only one seeing breasts.

somethin’ about you

I am writing a manual for my job. A monkey should be able to follow these directions. I bet there will still be people who look at it and say “Huh??”

I was just reminded of this site. So poignant. I wish I’d thought of it.

Whenever a politician says they are “cutting spending” it usually means the exact opposite. Because. You know. Words are just words and are TOTALLY interchangeable and stuff.

Oh my God I’m so uncomfortable.

I need one of those chiminea things.

admininistrative

oooooooh hoooooooo

You know what else I need? Everything on my Amazon Wish List. Yep. Need.

Aw Firefly cookie cutters! Cute! I almost never buy cookie cutters because I don’t actually like sugar cookies.

scratched your farewell couplet

I was going to make ginger bread cookies but I can’t remember what happened. I probably got exhausted just thinking about it.

Yes.

Ulysses S. Grant eh? Interesting. I sort of expected Andrew Jackson.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Hang it up, Norway.

“Have you ever been bitten by a turkey?” Seriously? Well, as it happens … These people know that birds don’t bite so much as peck, right? On account of they don’t have teeth. Which are kind of necessary for biting.

Ha. Kind of looks like you’re trying to hold a pistol while wearing an oven mitt. Poor MI.

Pathological.

I have a headache now. I really didn’t need that, thank you. You just take it back.

I like Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips. They are tasty.

are you alive? are you alive?

forgit it

Can we just stop “standing with” people now? That got old so fast.

I think Stormageddon needs one of these. Probably Miss W needs one in her size too.

I dunno. I may forever associate the symphony with morning sickness now.

What? I can still barely eat spaghetti thanks to that first pregnancy. And that was 10 years ago.

Body memory is looooooooooooong, fellow.

No, seriously. Can I just have everything in this shop?

Honestly. I don’t know what you’re doing, but you should buy something.

It’s just kind of disturbing. I’m sorry. That was not a good choice.

3 weeks, 6 days

Wow. 24 degrees outside! I actually had to turn off the space heater and take my sweater off!

Damn. This headache just escalated by eleventy for no apparent reason.

if so and so is so delightful

Ugh. So much static. The air is just too dry.

This stupid battery will not hold a charge.

And just like that, I’m sick of everything on the iPod again.

Sometimes I get the phrase “necrotizing fasciitis” stuck in my head for no apparent reason.

OK, over the Ellen “selfie” that she didn’t actually shoot. Moving along.

“They don’t sound like that! You’re a racist. Or an accentist! Or something like that! Yeah!”

OH MY GOD!!!!

No, I did not just try to put my sweater on upside down. Shut up.

Oh that smells nice. I haven’t worn that one in a while.

Ugh. Is there anything worse than swollen ankles? Oh. Wait. Yes. Yes, I can think of one thing that is worse. Way worse.

I miss my jeans. And t shirts.  A lot.

i’m lonely as the average sea

I love these. I wish they were a little less spendy.

I love all of these. Except Ronald McDonald. And the wax figures creeped me the hell out.

Why do they sell those separately? Why? It makes no sense!

No, really. What the hell happened to Prince?

refluxion

How many minutes?

I miss hot tea.

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff – sigh. Guess I didn’t really need that knee anyway.

Ted Nugent has an important message for me! Whatever, dude.

Argh. I wish I hadn’t seen that post.

I probably need to go knit something.

Your mother and we should have been 47% exsanguinated. ~JenniferBot

Um. OK.

WordPress doesn’t think exsanguinated is a word. WordPress doesn’t think WordPress is a word.

True Detective is the shit.

You know what’s irritating? The fact that Google+, a feature I absolutely do not want or need on my phone, that takes up 50 megs of space, cannot be removed. That’s really flipping irritating.

Apparently my mantra today is “We’ll take care of it.” Because apparently I have nothing but vast resources of time.

What’s this? Another winter weather advisory, you say? Ha!

Tilda Swinton. Yeah, right. LOL

These are incredible.

Oh, that phrase has a nice ring to it. “Tactical machete.”

I think the AZ law is stupid. BUT. I will say that I firmly believe that private business owners should retain the right to refuse service to whomever they choose for whatever reason they choose. Let the market decide if they should stay in business or not.

I should quit and go to trade school, learn how to weld. Well. I already know how to weld. Learn to do it professionally. Also, it’s been a while since I welded anything.

Wow. Daniel Radcliffe. Get a haircut. Now.

“I guess I’d sum it up that we have the right to freedom of association but, because of rulings that limit the 1st amendment, not freedom from association.”

look how they shine for you

Just so you know, sonic screwdrivers are useless against zombies.

Sorry, Adele. I’m just not in the mood.

I can’t take the internet right now. I just want to smack some sense into every last one of them.

Yeah, no, I don’t think Pelosi actually said that. I think it was satire.

Why would you want someone who hates you to provide a service for you? Don’t you think you might get spectactularly bad service?

That quiz is dumb. You don’t shoot Scotch. Ever.

Wow, that was a long meeting.

Oooooooooh! Miss W will be so all over this.

Oh my God!!!! A massage!!!! I think I might actually cry. I’m so excited. I’m so happy.

Now you know this is just exactly the kind of business I would own. Make that should own.

That meeting would have been fine if super genius hadn’t decided to wander down the path of progressive fantasy land and claim that the beginnings of genocidal action are taking place RIGHT HERE IN THE U.S. RIGHT NOW in Arizona. Really, dude? You’re seriously going to make that claim with a straight face?

Sometimes I have to bite my tongue so hard I draw blood.

“We need money for aid. So let’s print it.” Ummm …

Well that was … weird.

Ha! We have a chicken like the last one in the garage right now.

So cool!

Reason no. 7,462 to homeschool.

miserable bajingo

Oh the shark dress is my favorite, but I also really love the last one.

I am liking Mexican food a little more than usual lately.

Wow.

Fascinating.

I don’t like this Brittany character.

I just really am not dealing well with stress at all right now. It’s bad.

you and i don’t

I need to pick up some thank you cards.

Well the radar does not look like it agrees with the forecast at all. Which would be totally fine by me.

It failed! It failed! It failed! YES!!!!

See? See what happens when you argue with crazy people? You almost forget to post! Post!

I don’t remember the entire dream, but a large underlying part of it was that David Tennant and his wife were my next door neighbors.

There’s an awful lot of feeding honey to babies in mythology. You can’t give honey to babies. They could get botulism.

Books aren’t entitled. They’re titled.

You poor thing. You so desperately wish it was 1988 so you could legitimately feel persecuted.

Why construct such a massive chip for your shoulder purposely? I will never understand victim mentality.

It’s like watching the Surreal Life on VH1, but with ordinary people instead of Flavah Flav and Corey Hartenfeldmanhaim.

Not going to miss THAT sound at all. How much longer?

My FB feed has become nothing but Buzzfeed-esque quizzes. Sad.

Why would you need ribspreaders if you’re removing the top of the ribcage?

That word doesn’t mean what you think it means.

Um. NO. So very very wrong. Nicolas Cage is just straight up blasphemy.

I’ve done this in Photoshop with my own face and it’s weird.

No, you don’t change your graduation date until summer. You change it to summer. How do these people make more money than I do?

ARRRRRRRRRRGggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Stop. Snowing. Now.

Kentucky has a machine gun festival?!?

so sleepy. soooooooooooooo sleepy.

Honestly, how do my monitors get so dirty? It’s not like I touch them.

That phrase doesn’t mean what you think it means.

I am always surprised when I see anything about Jello Biafra. My brain always thinks he’s already dead.

Kind of tragic when the big story here is that a 23 year old MAN behaves like a man.

paaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Um. How does that help me, exactly?

I hate popcorn days. I hate that it takes you 3 hours to eat a single serving of popcorn. I hate the incessant rustling of fingers in popcorn. A sound that only seems to exist within the realm of popcorn.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I just tore a huge chunk of skin out of my knuckle. Hooray!

Ha. Yes.

I have reached a weird level of zennishness just recently. I’ve realized, and I think this is partially motivated by the level of physical pain I am in at this point, that there is a seriously large amount of stuff that I just don’t care about at all. I thought I did. But I don’t. Or I stopped. Or something. It’s kind of awesome. I wonder if it will last.

Um yeah. Seth Green is pretty much right on here.

Walken knitting!

What the actual fuck????

Is any extent of distrust of the government unreasonable, really? I have a hard time believing so.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I just ripped my thumbnail half way off down past the quick. Hooray!

“A WINTERY MIX OF FREEZING RAIN…SLEET AND SNOW THURSDAY MORNING WITH ICE ACCUMULATIONS OF A COATING UPWARDS TO A QUARTER OF AN INCH.” Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

not for all north carolina …

Honestly, Vogue Knitting. I really wonder about you sometimes.

I have to say the self portrait thing right now has actually been pretty good for my self esteem. It’s hard to waddle through your days feeling like Montana, counting the days til you deliver.

I don’t know who the artist is, but I kind of love this.

No, really. Everything I say is not a personal attack aimed directly at your skull. Really it’s only like 25%. I just don’t have the energy I used to.

Seriously, these aren’t pot holes. They’re freaking craters. I’ve never seen them this bad.

and we’ll all be lonely tonight and

The first time I heard that song was on a bus in Sydney, Australia. I fell in love. I didn’t hear it again until a couple of years later back home. I’ve loved Del Amitri ever since. I don’t care what anyone thinks.

I feel like I’ve told you that story before.

Excuse me. I fail to see how what’s happening in Ukraine right now is somehow our fault.

Wait. What happens when I use up all the memory in my work email?

I don’t remember where I put my iced tea.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh I really need to not be on the internet while pregnant. *sniff*

Yep. Totally something Walter would do. Books are delicious.

Deeeeeelicious.

“By all intents and person.”

I don’t know why everyone is so outraged about how gays are treated in Russia, yet they still don’t seem to give a shit about how they’re treated in the Muslim world.

There isn’t much that hurts more than unexpected car repair bills. sigh.

I wish they had “Stay Home and Watch Buffy” on a t shirt. That’s the best one.

Girl Scouts should have a villainy badge.

I’m working on my capitalism badge.

Oooooh!

I love hand me downs. I love them. The world needs more hand me downs. Or at least I do.

I hate autoplay on videos on Facebook. Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate.

I don’t know how I feel about this color. I think it’s too pink. Have I cursed Burt’s Bees recently? Because curse you, Burt’s Bees!!!!

So much want. Maybe someday.

This is kind of fantastic.

Um, I don’t think the “internet” hijacked feminism so much as the progressive left hijacked it, mutilated it, then threw it back down like a bloody gauntlet and demanded that we all fall in line with their version of it.

Oooooooh!

Every time someone does something that strikes me as odd, I get this stuck in my head. ONLY because of the phrase “oddfellows”. I know what it means, and I know it’s totally unrelated, but my brain appropriates it and changes the meaning.

Sometimes I really wish my heart was just the teensiest bit blacker.

I’d love to walk through there with Ripper.

If you don’t understand maps, don’t ask me to show you where something is on a map.

I had no idea Shirley Temple was a Republican. Mostly because WHO CARES???

I have this but I can never remember the name of it.

New phrase I’m sick to death of: “It’s a good problem to have!”

My initial thought was ummmm not so much. But I listened a few seconds longer and I kinda like it. It’s kinda interesting. Yep. I’d listen again.

I don’t know what to tell you, Georgia. Stay warm.

I think everyone should sue the federal government. Regularly.

Oooh, interesting.

Lots of oooh and interesting so far today. Moving on.

Facebook feed today: Weather and traffic and nothing but. You know what? It’s winter. And we’re always gonna have weather. Traffic is always gonna be there. Say something interesting. Tell me something good.

Momentum for the sake of momentum. That’s all it is.

I’ve never had King Cake.

I got my bee book! Yay! I’m going to be very busy. buzzzz buzzz buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Now this I love.

I don’t know any mother who would not have wanted to be on life support in order to save the life of her unborn child. And I hope to never meet the mother who wouldn’t.

Yeah, the Handsome Family is pretty much my soundtrack today. Wish I could find my damn CD. Maybe the bunny could send me a new one.

John Lott has a nice response to the recent ramped up leftist fear mongering.

Yeahhhhh. Thanks so much for once again completely bypassing me on a procedure. You should know that every time you do that, I am that much less likely to help you in the future.

Nice, lady. That bit about the village is one I’m especially fond of. I still need to get the t shirt.

6 weeks and 6 days

I am insane. It’s the only plausible explanation.

I don’t actually like roses, particularly. Their scent is unpleasant and they’re fraught with meaning.

sigh

Yep. Exactly.

deadlines deadlines deadlines. but not for me. whee.

ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh

I don’t know why I am surprised by how much my head hurts right now.

I love Jeff Goldblum.

What was I doing?

This cat is never going to die. He made a pact with Satan. I’m going to be trapped in a house with this evil, disgusting beast until the day I die. And he’ll just go on and on and on.

bees and homeschool and zen and peace and the Compound and just let me be

mean

ARRRGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!! Why am I even looking at this right now? Why? Fuck this.

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I know! I’ll –

Kinda like this too.

I wish my stomach would let me enjoy a nice cuppa. Stupid stomach.

Where is my lip balm?

Ten is just so many!

sniff