Geek moment of the week: One of my favorite authors added me as a friend on Ravelry! eeeee!

I need a new pair of Docs.

I need a new paradox.

Barister Rivendell

So cool.

Ordinary Batman

So we’re one of the top 12 colleges where you get the “most bang for your buck.” Which is apparently good, because we’re also the university that you’ll graduate with more than the average debt from.

Oh great, yeah. I was really worried about that. Uh huh.

How is it Wednesday again already?

Don’t breathe my air.

“Introverts never have awkward silences. We only have awkward conversations.”

YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL.

Sometimes I ask myself how people who are this spectacularly stupid are still alive. And then I remember that breathing is an involuntary reflex.

I don’t really understand the bears. What were the bears all about?

Hmmmm Also I think that the price of that book is straight up ridiculous.

You are a wonder person.

Kinda over that word twerking.

I kind of love this guy. I might have to check out his book.

But I can’t even remember the last movie I watched.

I wonder why they called it Blackfish. Do they not know that whales are not fish?

Nooo, Daniel! There’s a reason Roger Moore is everyone’s least favorite Bond.

Reformatory Girls kills me.

This is crazy!

Mrs. Hudson took my skull.

I just don’t understand why people think it’s OK to take food that doesn’t belong to them.

Slut is a derogatory term for a reason. All these ridiculous women go on and on about “slut-shaming” and how it has to end. I’m sorry, but sending the message to my daughter that going onstage in front of millions of people and behaving the way not only Miley Cyrus did, but Robin Thicke’s behavior as well, is never going to happen. That is not acceptable behavior. That’s troubling. It’s not even troubling ART. It should be troubling to self proclaimed feminists, but it isn’t. Instead they’re telling you to cease with the SLUT SHAMING. “Yes, young ladies everywhere! Lay claim to your sexuality by dancing badly, singing as if you’ve just run a marathon, and grinding your latex underpants clad booty against the fully clothed groin of a married man nearly twice your age. That’s really giving it to the patriarchy (if you know what I mean).” Pathetic. I hate modern feminism.

See? I get going on these tangents.

Meanwhile, in Syria …

HA!

WTF?!? No. Hell no.

I wish I had the extra cash for a manicure. And a pedicure. Which I refuse to call mani/pedi because that’s just obnoxious. But I could use one.

I am not having a good day.

The pilot of Hell on Wheels was … choppy. I hope it gets better.

Interesting.

ok, don’t say hi then

Fight the power.

Oh God, the fruit punch scene. I get choked up just thinking about it.

‘“Check your privilege” is an arrogant phrase that really means “I know more than you. So shut up.”’

I am predictable in my anti-fishery-ness.

That was a damn good salad.

“Amanda Palmer’s family.”

63 days 17 hours 3 minutes 21 seconds to Halloween!!!

Honestly, it’s not a law that you have to comment on a post just because it’s there. If you don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation move along.

“Reeducation camps for people that weren’t educated in the first place.”

Food! And the store! And food! And whee!

I don’t care what anyone thinks. I love Crowded House.

Oh my GOD. Stop exaggerating!

I saw the Banana Car!

One hundred eleventy seven percent.

Filling the gaps.

It isn’t even remotely as hard to vote as it is to buy an “assault weapon,” you half-witted has been.

My skull is surely going to split open just above my right temple at any moment now. Surely.

I so very much loathe it when it’s humid.

There are notes in both English and Japanese in my text book. It’s very interesting.

I never make notes or highlight things in my textbooks.

Look at all this SLR equipment! I’m going to be needing an adapter so I can use these lenses with Ripper.

I think it’s time for sleep. Most definitely.

so awesome

She is not wrong.

I don’t usually care for colorizing old photos. It just changes the photograph entirely. The mood, everything. But I have to admit that one or two of these are pretty OK colorized. Not ALL of them. But one or two.

slow ass jolene

I do not like warm cookies.

Interesting piece on Rose Wilder Lane, if a bit editorialized.

“You have such unique interests in your photography and music and knitting and dead things. You’re one of the single most interesting people I know.”

Established cult following. Ha!

This was touching.

Ugh. John Mayer. No.

“In honor of what would have been Charles Bukowski’s 93rd birthday, we’ve made eight Bukowski novels available for the very first tome in digital audio.” … I wonder if they did that on purpose.

Why do people insist on bothering me when I’m on lunch??

I love Snickers bars.

feral wolf children

It would be great if you could not carry on your conversation over the top of my cube.

Neat. I love the shoes on the girl with the red umbrella.

A Portuguese water dog costs between $1500 and $2000.

A remarkable number of people who work with the water supply in this town insist on pronouncing potable as pott-able. It bothers me.

Glenn Danzig, not a fan of Democrats.

you never held it

So much dumb.

I was typing a work email and clicked away for a minute. It autosaved as a draft and closed. I reopened it and it read “Hi Dave, I’m ass” … I was just a tiny bit startled.

I’d like to buy a vowel.

That is absolutely one of the bestest compliments I have ever received. “One of my favorite people and one of my favorite moms.” Made my entire week.

Stupid class brought my GPA down. GrrRRRrrrr

Ugh. ugh ugh ugh. And a bleah.

No no no no nonononononono nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve got the wiggins just reading about it.

The list of places I have no desire to visit just keeps getting longer today.

Creepy and not suitable for all audiences.

I feel like hell, today, squidlets. Hell.

It’s like a mantra, every time I see it. You are a professional beggar, you just choose to use the internet. You are crowdsourcing your life and you’re not even being honest about it. You are not a good human.

Ha ha. Al Jourgensen thinks Robert Smith is funny looking.

Actually, I’ve always secretly wanted a cult following. That would be pretty rad.

Wow, some of these are crazy elaborate. I like the one that looks like a bobby uniform.

Something hinky is happening.

You got that right.

When she says it, it sounds like “Howah you?” She’s from Michigan. We don’t talk like that here.

hee

Every time I look at your page you’re appalled about something.

I miss Little Ceasar’s pizza.

I think my hair hurts.

I miss summers at Lake of the Woods.

Never fails to put a smile on my face.

Scoundrel.

Your food is stinky.

“Every intelligent boy of sixteen is a Socialist. At that age one does not see the hook sticking out of the rather stodgy bait.” ~ Orwell

Symbionts. But somehow not nearly as cool as Jadzia Dax. I’ll pass, thanks.

I need an Andrew Jackson finger puppet.

momma take this

I never finished reading the Book Thief. It just didn’t hold my interest.

It’s too hot to go for a walk.

I need to write up these procedures. I do not want to write up these procedures.

Boy, us introverts are getting an awful lot of media attention lately. Disorder my arse! Glad they moved away from that nonsense.

This is the sweetest thing you’ll see on the internet this week.

Wow. You spelled algebra wrong. You even wrote it long hand, it wasn’t even a typo. Algeba.

Mystery Maven. Hee

None of those apostrophes is correct. I’m sort of glad my name is not actually associated with that embarrassing display.

Argh. Again, Nick Gillespie? I told you, I’m available for proofreading. I’m not even that expensive. I’m worth every penny. Plus my hotness can help counter the myth of the all male libertarian boys’ club. Seriously.

I was busy unloading groceries from the car, so the goat started crying because I wasn’t paying attention to him.

No, really. You used indeed twice in the same sentence. You need help.

I should just redo my resume. I have committees to add to it now. Ooooooh.

I’m not really thrilled with the new issue of Vogue Knitting. Meh.

I need to watch Pee Wee’s Big Adventure again. With Miss W. She hasn’t seen it yet.

burp burp burp burp burp

I like Instagram.

It’s the anniversary of Ruby Ridge.

I think I’m going to

There’s not enough music in this post.

Officious and pedantic.

No.

I don’t understand the embellished baseball cap thing. It’s just so wrong.

she don’t

memento mori

Neutral Good Human Ranger/Sorcerer (3rd/3rd Level) I haven’t played D&D in so long I wouldn’t have the first clue if I sat down to play it today.

Interesting.  A tad too long. But interesting.

Of course it’s a first world problem. You live in a first world country. Get over it.

I should be a futility goddess or something.

They are pronouncing glaciers “glassiers”. It’s unexpectedly annoying.

I love oranges.

I also love baby lemon faces!

Black Skull

I need this mug. This is how I feel about my job most of the time. I mean a little recognition wouldn’t hurt anybody.

I am so glad I did not marry a man like this. Or have children with a man like this. He really just does not get it at all. I suppose I shouldn’t find it remarkable that so very many people approve of this.

Miss W does not approve of the American Community Survey. She feels the questions are an eensy bit too personal. She went on a rant about how she doesn’t think it’s right that we have to fill out this totally unnecessary survey and it’s nobody’s business what goes on inside this house. My little libertarian rebel, I’m so proud!

I should print this out and hang it in my office.

punk

“These cupcakes will change your life!” Yes. I am that good.

criminology mushrooms.

move my feet

Knitted Meercats. Huh.

Can someone explain how Brad Pitt got deodorant marks on the outside of his jacket??

This will wrench your heart all around.

Why did they name the frog Michigan?

“It’s a “give me money, bitches” blog.”

People are more outraged over some ridiculous Obama mask at a rodeo than they are about any of the myriad ways in which he has worked to eliminate our civil rights. People make my head numb.

eerie

I’ve heard the phrase “throw down the gauntlet,” or variations of, twelvety seven times this week. It is now on my list of phrases that should never be uttered again.

The lens IS the camera. Interesting.

It’s not “yes mam.”

Well. I think I’ve read my fill of white liberal bullshit on the internet this morning.

Oooh. I want to read this!

That woman is crazy.

So is that one.

I really don’t like clowns, but yeah.

Pants. Sensitivity training for clowns. People who feel the need to make everything a sexual innuendo.

The library I worked in was never this entertaining.

Uh oh. The internet is out on the Compound. Doooooooom!

Dammit! I forgot my Tylenol!

everything but roller skates

Psycho Pants thinks people actually care about her life. So she tells them all about it. Loudly.

shuffle shuffle shuffle scuff shuffle shuffle shuffle

Final exam, bane of my existence. Curse you and the first year instructor you rode in on!

It was a hallucination or something.

don’t be a

I don’t think I like this Margo Guryan. I liked the one song, but the rest … not so much.

“Why did you make a flyer in PowerPoint?”
“Well, I was just trying different things.”
“Huh.”

Why do we sleep? Because we’re bloody tired, man!

You want me to pay you $250.00 to become a conservation steward. And then volunteer on top of that. That seems off somehow.

Riveting. Really. I can tell you’re hanging on my every word.

“This is malicious fecal distribution.”

oniony

somewhere out in the dark

So what are you doing now?

I’m starting a new series. Things I Find Outside My Office.

ha

ha

ha

I probably need a Margaret Thatcher poster for my office.

Can almost be forgiven for appearing in that ridiculous “I Pledge” ad with crazy Demi.

I would kind of love to see this guy on the House floor.

I think I have line hypnosis.

These color copies are slippery.

Amanda Palmer is asking Congress to stop punishing people for sharing art. … She means people in violation of copyright laws. Which are in place to protect artists. Like her. And her husband. Amanda? You can share your work as much as you want to. Not every artist feels the same way you do. Just ask a photographer.

Aw, this is cute, and also fun.

Oh. I think I’ll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun’s callin’ my name, I hear ya now, I just can’t stay inside all day, I gotta get out, get me some o’ those rays.

Also, it’s just time for my walk.

Yes. Thank you.

CTFD. Man, that’s how I’ve always parented.

Can I say that the phrase “gunnie cosplay” just comes across as some kind of creeptastic kinky sex game that I’d rather not have a visual on?

Yes. Yes, I can because I just said it.

Blimey.

I suppose I should stop at the lab and pick up those prints.

“Hey! These meal worms got loose!”

Ooooh I want to see so many of these in person!

Hysterical.

Yessss. It’s almost time for knee high sock weather! Soon! Soooon!

I’m going to be needing some fabric paint.

Boy shorts.

Tell them about my famous blog post. Ha. No one cares about my blog.

OK, but why are they in a tree?

fodder. folderol. fa la la la la.

That’s the second ketchup mishap on the tablecloth this week. On the plus, I’m not in any danger of running out of tablecloths.

My dad is awesome. He helped move Miss W’s secret headquarters today. Which was quite an undertaking.

I like this new group. I actually feel welcome there.

I should be studying, not answering these ridiculous questions.

far away, but not far enough

I really need some new pants.

I’m horribly boring. Ya’ll are going to be so disappointed.

Because all normal people are fat with bad hair?

Yeah, I know it’s old, but it just popped up in my feed again.

Bailiwick.

I dunno. That might last you an hour. If you really delve into it. Really ponder the hidden meanings. Make up some stories. Whatever.

Ugh. Need new computer.

And a nap. Need a nap. Is it too early to go to bed? le sigh.

YES.

Melting Superman …

It’ll all be over tomorrow. One way or another.

Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUN!

Oh GOD, your vaguebooking is getting SO tiresome.

ALWAYS look at the shoes!

So many things to put in the mail.

“If it falls into the wrong hands, we’re ruined!”

That seems like unnecessarily extensive detail on those male mannequins …

Oh God. I just remembered Mannequin.

Um. Fuck you. Detroit must pay Detroit’s bills. NOT the rest of us.

Lunchable.

It’s not polite to brag.

If you missed this, take a few minutes to read it now. It’s brilliant.

I think I probably need a red velvet cupcake with this cuppa.

The Southwest Michigan Digital Library really needs to add some damn titles. I think I’ve found exactly two of the eleventy books I’ve searched for there.

and flights of angels sing thee

Yes. The story of my life. Please take special note of #2, and stop offering me helpful suggestions about how I “might want to think about my facial expression and how it comes across to other people.” Because bite me. It’s just my face. Jerk.

Earthquakes generate two general types of psychic waves.

I’ve always wanted to do something like this.

Yeah, it’s not “how great of people they turned out to be” it’s “how great they turned out to be” “as people” if you REALLY feel like you need people in there. Which you don’t. It’s just not that hard. Seriously.

Stop saying swag. Just stop. And sesh. You need to be reminded to stop using sesh.

Wow. I like it.

I love before and after photos.

There is not enough music in this post.

That phrase “Shit just got real”? That has to go. It has to go yesterday.

These are kind of amusing. I like the one where Ellen is looking at Katy Perry’s boobs. Also the werewolf. The werewolf is kind of awesome.

I really like this blog. I even link to it. But every comment I have ever made on it has been blocked. And I can’t figure out why. I’ve said nice things. I’ve wished them well. I’ve been pleasant and kind. So I’m not going to link to it any more. Because that just hurts my interweb feelings. I mean what the hell? She probably checked out *my* blog and was offended. I am, apparently, offensive.

Whatever.

Well alrighty then.

Yeah, I still hate the new Flickr.

Rather Klimt-esque, I think.

The rodeo is clear ancient out their.

I don’t know why I’m reluctant to bittify myself, but I am.

One fifth of all Christmas trees in the U.S. come from Michigan. You’re welcome.

Fine. I’ll stop emailing you.

There’s an orchestral version of Love Hurts? Okaaaaaaaay.

What’s with this sudden trend of everyone starting every sentence with “So”? Stoppit.

I always type survery first.

If these are the funniest things she’s ever heard her friends say, she needs funnier friends.

It’s so very tiresome when people don’t understand sarcasm.

Dear God.

A pimply robot.

Um. That’s not Godwin’s Law.

No. Watson should not have a mustache.

I can’t even read the word Soylent without automatically mentally adding the word green after it.

I love these! The one with the red leaves is my favorite.

Yes, I would actually like to go to the Scottish Festival, thank you very much.

Oh good. Another trip to the neurologist. Whee.

I don’t think I have another staff meeting until the middle of September! Yay!

There’s only one N in Jen, people.

Alas, we have failed at growing carnivorous plants.

Oh yeah. I love it.

So you want diversity and inclusion, we’re all one people, color doesn’t matter, embrace everything and everyone, but don’t think for one minute that you can be influenced by my culture in your work or art because that’s CULTURAL APPROPRIATION, bitch, and that is just not right. Please. People make my head numb.

OK, I appreciate that you’re knocking now, but you still need to wait for a reply before you walk into my space. It’s not that complicated.

I do not see the appeal of the Heidelberg Project. It’s not art, to me.

Who cares about work with this beautiful thunder storm happening? I want to turn out the light and close my eyes and listen.

A hustler and a con man.

I think when you’ve reached the point where you’re calling it a “shootie” you need to just stop experimenting with footwear.

Why is it always about the faculty? The rest of us matter too, thank you very much. I’d like to see faculty do their job without me.

Stop calling me Jen, Psycho Pants. Only people I like get to call me Jen.

How bizarre.

Happy birthday, Nick Gillespie. Now hire me to proofread Reason.

What the hell is with all the Dr. Oz spam in my work email???

This is just a step or 12 too far.

Too many sibilant esses flying around this office right now.

I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday. This week has already been 3 years long.

“Oh I can’t Google. I don’t have a mouse to Google!” I have no idea what that means.

What could possibly go wrong??

I like “Nathan and Robin“. I don’t know why.

Let them think what they will. I cannot care.

If you’re not going to employ actual English speaking Americans on your help lines and help chats, don’t give them fake American names because you think it makes your customers happier. It just annoys us even more.

Oh Barnes & Noble, your customer service is not stellar.

Just because you say it’s an emergency, does not actually make it an emergency.

This might actually be a good time in my life to take up meditation. I need my Zen back. Bad.

check with lost and found

Blimey.

Blob.

Bob.

Halloween!

84 days, 12 hours, 40 minutes, 20 seconds until Halloween!!!!!

I don’t remember what I opened that for.

Sad, but Zen.

Back to blob.

I’m loving the new Civil Wars. It’s dreamy and heartbreakish.

I really hate the sound of whistling.

I was never any good at picking out the constellations.

What’s your savvy?

I wish I was more talented at things.

I have no idea what I’m doing. Can’t someone just say, “This. This is the job you are supposed to have” and have that be absolutely true?  Sigh.

To paraphrase: Obama won’t meet with Putin because of the way Russia treats gays, but he’s totally OK with the Muslim Brotherhood. Yeah. Makes perfect sense.

I’m wearing these shorts to work tomorrow. Take that.

Dammit! I got protein drink on the Orwell.

All the hullabaloo that’s going on outside!

That website misused the apostrophe 4 times in one paragraph.

I don’t think he noticed his birthday cupcake. It was patriotic and everything.

Ha.

I don’t listen to these guys often. I have to be in a particular mood, and that mood is … rare. But this is a good song and the video is kind of hilarious.

Savvy. Savvy?

Interesting. I love Joaquin Phoenix. I have to say no to his mustache as well though. Because just no.

Just no.

Yes.

Yes.

Maybe.

Whenever I see the word pasties I automatically think “yum!” … Unfortunately whenever I see the word pasties it’s almost never in reference to the delicious MI meal. Sometimes the difference between pasties and pasties is difficult to discern without immediate context.

Sometimes I wonder about those missing persons posts that pop up on Facebook. I wonder if maybe the woman in those posts has gone missing because she’s run away from an abusive situation and someone just wants to track her down because they’re evil.

These made me giggle.

I think I would enjoy a subscription to Doctor Who Magazine.

You seriously have to be looking pretty bloody deep for this nonsense.

How is there dust under the crap on my desk??

I would likely find this deeply disturbing.

If you want to run around playing Devil’s advocate, don’t pretend to be all butt hurt when people treat you as such.

Ratt is coming to town. I don’t know why I think that’s hilarious, but I do.

I don’t remember that song being that long.

Blimey!

Sigh. It’s not peterosaurs. It’s pterosaurs. I hate this class.

That is the most bellicose book order I have ever placed.

This is the cutest thing you will see all week.

I wonder, if you were standing there at the moment of a continental convergence, if it would actually be massive enough to feel or still moving so infinitesimally slowly that you wouldn’t notice. I mean the exact moment. I think you’d feel it. I think it would kill you.

I don’t get interpretive dance.

I also don’t get the appeal of Bon Iver.

It’s been too long since I’ve had a Chuck’s day.

hee

more disturbing

I wonder what having a doppelganger would be like.

You say “you gluten eaters” and it sounds so rude. Like “you people” or “you thugs” or something. Don’t be so judgy.

“She took off her clothes, kind of, and then she started flippin’ around like some deranged tuna!”

Chris Christie can bite me.

Ohh you can stream the new Civil Wars on iTunes today! I really like this one.

I do not like the smell of burning leaves.

No one used a Trapper Keeper any more in 1992. Especially not high school seniors.

Spaghettification.

I did not get any cheesecake.

protein protein protein protein protein

Anthony Weiner is not an attractive man.

let loose from the noose

Being bitchy and guilting people into donating is messed up. That officially makes you not a good person.

I just read a blurb that stated that Queen was arguably the greatest rock band of all time. I like Queen and all, but I’m going to have to disagree.

I guess that’s where the arguing comes in.

People wear such awful pants.

Gloomy rainy Wednesday. Yay!

I wish I’d worn pants today. It’s so cold in here.

well well well

Shady. Definitely shady.

Facebook is advertising plus sized clothes at me. Now I’m going to have a complex. WTF, Facebook?

I really wouldn’t call Wil Wheaton the “king of the nerds.” If he’s the king, I’m forming a revolt.

I really do not like Wil Wheaton.

Because it’s not creepy at all.

The bridge before it was a bridge.

What a great site.

Stupid phone.

I dozed off on my lunch and when I woke up I was monumentally confused about what day it was.

ap”””””””gns’dvkaskldn’roiAWHE”OKNV

It’s not my shimmy.

Like it’s any surprise that I got Vulcan.

The NSA can bite me too.

This protein shake thing is ok. It could maybe just be regular chocolate and not double chocolate. It’s ok if I don’t smell it.

Um. Why would I want to read exclusive interviews with Obama, Amazon? It’s like you don’t even know me at all.

I wonder if it’s dry enough to take a walk.

Unicorn looooooves you! Do you love unicorn?

It’s not that I don’t think white text on black background is aesthetically unappealing. It’s that it actually hurts my eyes to read it.

I had no idea that community was so … willing to blindly accept certain “truths.” How disappointing.

Makes me want McDonald’s for dinner.

I wish I didn’t get stupid songs stuck in my head.

Yeah, sorry, he’s just hot. There’s no getting around that.

Eureka was such a great show.

I need dessert. Or something.

A cup of tea. Yes, that would be lovely. As always.

almost got

Finishing the back of the TARDIS blanket is going to be the death of me.

I need yarn. I need yarn. I need money so I can get yarn. Yarn. Needed. Yarn.

seismic waves

oogy

How did that happen?

Who watches over you –