I don’t really care about Kim Kardashian at all. I’ve never seen her show. I only even have the vaguest idea of who she is. But having been a pregnant woman, who has been swollen and felt like a whale, and miserable, I really wish people would leave her the hell alone in regard to her weight. It actually pisses me off how mean people are being.

Nerdy umbrage.

If your morals are that easily bought and sold, you have much bigger problems than capitalism.

like putting a santa hat on karl marx

I don’t care if you’re gay. I just don’t. It’s like the least relevant thing about you. I care if you’re a scifi geek. I care if you have common sense. I care if you like alt.country. I don’t give a shit who you sleep with.

Unless you’re Red. Then I expect details.

Sometimes I feel like a pretty spectacular failure. That I’m failing spectacularly? Whatever.

Dear God, stop calling them the FEELS.

“Yeah, it takes a lot of courage coming out of the closet to a standing ovation.”

Nice.

This father, who wishes to remain anonymous – how brave! – is an asshole. These people are horrible people.

Do I post too much to the blog? Maybe I don’t post enough. Oh brother, it’s not like you’re making money at it, Jennifer.

I’m sorry. I’ve just never really gotten the whole Andy Warhol adoration. His art just does not speak to me.

Also not speaking to me - these photos.

Love it!

Too much work to do. Bring me a dumpster!

I’ve seen selections from this series before. Interesting stuff. It doesn’t feel quite authentic though. Slightly NSFW.

It’d be nice to actually be going somewhere for vacation.

Did my internet just break?

This is kind of depressing.

I really need to just figure out how to build one.

We have too much stuff. Way too much stuff. I’m starting to feel claustrophobic and overwhelmed. I really just need a dumpster. Right now.

Ridiculous. Just flipping ridiculous. That actually makes me angry.

I am straight up filthy right now. It’s so disgusting.

That actually hurt my brain.

Something evil wasp ant thing with sting bitey teeth was just crawling around in my shorts sting biting me. I’m so fucking done with this “vacation.”

Minimalism is looking more and more appealing all the time.

Taekwondo ho!

That is a seriously giganomous fly. What the hell?

Well, you know, it was cold, they were hungry, and dude was all “If you don’t work, you don’t eat, bitches!”

The fart of solidarity.

May Day.

Lots of weird activity on the blog today. I wish I knew what people were thinking when they happen across this thing.

I don’t think some people are appreciating my random staycation texts.

I also don’t think people really appreciate the awesome of a mystery box of books in the mail for shipping plus 2 bux. No sense of fun. No sense of adventure. Poor people.

This just really makes me wish I could sew that much more.

I think it’s weird that you’re moving and you haven’t told your children that you’re moving.

Yes, I am checking my work email. Shut up. It’s self preservation.

OK. No Neil Gaiman. Yes Chris Isaak. I can live with that.

I want slices of mozzarella and crackers.

Have you seen the Doctor Puppet yet? Because it’s so wonderful, and you really should.

9 times out of 10 children

Who else would I want to have a Parks & Rec marathon with?

Shut up, I am not Leslie.

Chicken. Pot. Pie!!!!!

Where the hell is my copy of Good Omens?

Hell’s bells it’s stuffy in here.

Oh Dear Lord.

Oh now it’s “reductive rights” not “abortion rights”?

Yep.

And then there’s this, which I disagree with. I think Tebow has gotten persecuted for being so devout, and I think any half wit can look at the media and see that. As for the newly out of heh closet athlete – see my above quote. He’s not going to be persecuted in the slightest.

But mostly I don’t care about sports in the least, and I care less about whether you’re gay OR Christian.

I reserve the right to remain indifferent. It’s my new motto. I need to cross stitch a sampler. Along with “In theory,” “I’m workin’ on it,” and “Shut the fuck up.”

Also this is bullshit.

Well, the mosquitoes sure as hell didn’t waste any time getting here.

el oh el

I don’t know. I’m sending mixed messages today. Last week was so much better.

It’s probably too late to take a shower. Ew.

Speaking of. How the hell did it get so late?

too much stuff too much stuff too much stuff

I’ma sit on the patio thinger while it’s stormy and read. Staycation, bitches!

Such a crazy busy day today.

And all my meetings are back! le sigh.

I kind of want this outfit.

I don’t know. I don’t understand the whole Neil Gaiman/Amanda Palmer thing. And I hated Palmer, and then I kind of liked her, because I really liked a couple songs off Who Killed Amanda Palmer, and then I liked a couple songs off whatever that last one was called. But I also still kind of couldn’t stand her. And you know I’ve commented on her ridiculous eyebrows more than once. Mostly I’m sort of meh. But for her to write a poem that blatantly empathizes (and she’d really like you to know the subtle but important difference between empathize and sympathize) with the bomber, and then to deny that it’s about him at all suggests to me that she just thinks that we’re all just a bunch of fucking idiots. Sorry, doesn’t take a Master’s in English lit to be able to interpret your poetry, Amanda Fucking Palmer.

Also, I’m sorry, but monsters DO exist. Why should I try to empathize with or humanize them?

But the photographs in the book (Who Killed Amanda Palmer) are totally up my alley, and I’d still love to own a copy. And I’m still a huge Neil Gaiman fan, have been since Issue No. 1 of the Sandman. (Thank you, Scott Hutchings)

I’ve spent too much time on Amanda Palmer. Dammit.

oh ho ho

It’s Administrative Professionals Appreciation Week. And frankly, I’ve never felt less appreciated.

rain rain rain zen happy rain hand me a cuppa

I need to get some more paracord bracelets done.

I need a tiny Santa hat.

Yes, I do think making a Santa hat for tiny Karl Marx is a good use of my time.

WHAT?!?!!  @#(*^ $%&#*

That Sharpie came off my hand surprisingly easily. I don’t think they’re making Sharpies as well as they used to.

“Is there a library where all the books are?”

And now there’s a Weird Science remake in the works. Come. On.

Hmmm. The problem still lies in who decides what constitutes an imminent threat.

I thought the idea behind not using a curriculum was to allow your child to learn what he or she is interested in at his or her own pace, and not be concerned with the “right information” or staying at grade level. The concept of “grade level” is designed to perpetuate this insane concept that all children of a certain age should be “ideally” at the same place at the same time. There is too much emphasis placed on it. Children should be allowed to learn at whatever level is appropriate to them. Age segregation is detrimental to society.

This just makes me sad. (NSFW)

I really wish I had learned Norwegian.

Hmmmmmm. Yeah, I can see that. Of course, allowing drones to “proliferate” is seriously dangerous ground.

Well. Deke Slayton was a damn good looking man, wasn’t he?

Snow again?? I may actually cry.

So much ridiculous.

Tell Omar to take his finger off the trigger.

I might have pinched a nerve in my wrist.

Someone bring me a sandwich.

This is pretty ok pizza.

I love pizza.

Why is my work internet sucking?

You are such a tramp.

Jesus. All I did was stick a Santa hat on Karl Marx.

And these are the people that should be the only ones allowed to have guns. … Uh huh.

“I like how that thread started out sort of cute and stuff, but then became this super-ugly psychodrama train wreck.”

sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

I kind of love this octopus and how he sort of resembles a light bulb with squiggly arms who wants to hoard your rings.

I really need to learn cross stitch.

run away, yeah

Some animals are more equal than others.

I don’t think it’s appropriate for POTUS to be speaking at a Planned Parenthood event. I don’t care what his political affiliation is.

Wow. Now I’m being attacked by a whole new jack ass. It’s a good day to be me.

God, I am never going to be able to finish reading this article.

Why is catering so flipping RUDE??? We’re paying you a small fortune, suck it up and at least TRY to fake civility.

this tomato loves you

Seriously, the only word I can even utter right now is WOW.

Yeah, so Fioricet is ok. Head still hurts, but not as much, and I care a whole lot less.

I guess that also means no treadmill this evening.

Meatballs are delicious. Unless they’re Swedish. I don’t have anything against Swedes. I feel the need to qualify that lest I draw more fire from people itching to call me racist or something today.

It’s been a rough day.

I probably need to hang this in my office.

Also why didn’t anyone tell me before now that I should check out Parks and Recreation?? That is some funny stuff.

Whip that snap.

I don’t actually go out of my way to be a jerk. … Unlike SOME people.

“No! No no no! You do not shave away your manly beard!”

I’m so sorry.

It’s been stuck in my head for the last hour.

Argh! I checked my gauge! Why is this knitting up small???

I’m telling you. My knitting mojo is OFF right now.

I wish I was going to Texas.

Maybe someone could come give me a wardrobe/closet make over. Cos I admit I need help. Also that dress in that last pic is super cute and I would totally wear that. No skinny jeans, please.

No, really, I always secretly hoped someone would nominate me for What Not to Wear, because they give you money for new clothes.

I’m having a really hard time getting through Sing You Home. It’s just so very way too extreme with the stereotyping. Picoult goes way too far with the obvious to prove her point. It’s disappointing.

In awesome news, the Tell the Wolves I’m Home author will likely be on campus this fall, hosted by us. This won as our pick for the college common read for the fall.

Oh my Christ. This is awesome.

Please don’t eat me! God will not help you, puny human!

HA!

I think I know better than you do what it’s like to be a conservative on the campus where I freaking work.

I was daydreaming the other day. (Shut up, everyone so does too do that. Also I don’t normally call it daydreaming.  Cos that just seems lame) And I imagined that I wrote a monthly column for Reason about being a conservative libertarian on a college campus and each article covered a different topic.

The good news is, I don’t have to train up a new boss.

Beautiful.

Sometimes a cupcake is just a cupcake. Now I want a cupcake. In other words: STOP ASSIGNING RIDICULOUS HIDDEN MEANING TO STUPID SHIT.

Ok. I vote yes on Fioricet. Just in case you were wondering.

la la la

I’m feeling much less optimistic this morning. My natural cynicism is kicking in.

Oh Dear Lord. “A tragic accident after a church quilting event in Muskegon is now under investigation. Police say Olive Edlredge was run over and killed by her own car Wednesday.”

WHY did I NOT know that Chris Isaak does a seriously fanfreakingtstic cover of I Want You to Want Me???? (video not appropriate for everyone)

Wait. Did I know that??

Yes, please!

“To serve the common good.” Why not just go ahead and say it like a good little communist? “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.” If they choose him, it will be a catastrophic failure.

What the hell is a Macklemore?

Giant snails are just another reason to avoid Florida. euch!

You’ve probably already seen it, but this made me a little teary.

CANNOT wait for this album. At least with this one I am guaranteed not to be disappointed like I was with Bowie and MBV.

Whoever told Robert Downey Jr that lederhosen were a good idea should be fired.

What David Sirota really means is “Let’s hope the bomber was a conservative, christian, white male.” He’s wrong that “white men” haven’t been denigrated or targeted or placed on government watch lists as potential terrorists. Pretty simple research could have told him that. “White men” and gun owners in general are being vilified all over the country right now because of the actions of a few. Libertarians, Ron Paul voters, “fringe groups,” etc., have been placed on DHS terrorist watch lists. Sirota’s real problem, as with the rest of the far left progs, is that they so desperately want and need us to be the bad guys, and we so very rarely are.

Enough enough enough. Get a damn hobby.

the trouble is

It was supposed to be thunderstormy today. It’s very much the opposite of that. I was kind of looking forward to thunderstormy.

On the plus, none of my usual Wednesday meetings are happening today. AND it’s Old Dog night! Good day!

I like wish lists. They’re convenient for people who want to give you a gift because you’re awesome, and they’re nice to look at and say, “I think I’ll start saving up for this item,” for yourself. Everybody wins.

Target. So silly.

Neon yellow.

Maybe if CISPA passes, and everyone loses ALL privacy, the progressive left will finally start to listen.

It’s getting gloomy!

hee

Thunder!

I feel marginally better about this as Gaiman is actually penning the script, but am still fairly dubious. And nervous.

No, no, I meant sink. Not skink.

Yeah, I’m not really being at all productive right now.

We need a musical interlude.

Um.

I’d love it if Youtube would quit with the anti gun ads before videos.

Wow, that’s some down pour.

I like old u2.

Oh my goodness.

Almost Hobbes!

“I accidentally called these girls prostitutes in front of them.”

catching sparks off you

Nothing quite like rounding up chicks in a thunderstorm. At least they were in the pen and not loose in the yard.

I don’t know. Offish Old Dog night. The food wasn’t as good as usual. The singing bartender chick wasn’t as good as usual. Just offish.

Any half-witted troglodyte can see she is the only possible choice for the job.

Still not actually starving, cat.

Barefoot Neil. Hee.

The display in the background is the same one that was on my campus right outside my office last week. I think it’s ridiculous that she was arrested, but I also think it’s ridiculous that she couldn’t just settle down when they asked her to. (Language NSFW) And I think she knew she was pushing the cops on it and daring them to cart her off.

Artsy types are so dramatic. This is where my Vulcan brain comes in handy. It keeps my artsy soul from going overboard … most of the time.

I got really behind on 3 people doing stuff.

his boy elroy

I have such admiration for the photographers who are using the old processes. They produce the most beautiful images. I wish I had the time and the money to be able to delve into it too.

I thought that pic of George and Laura Bush with their new grand baby was so sweet. So much happiness in those faces!

And then sometimes I poke my head in that group and it’s just a bunch of asshattery with everyone patting themselves on the back for being so aloof and removed. You know what? Sometimes, it is actually OK to be fucking human and be affected by a tragedy, even if it didn’t happen to you personally. Mocking everyone else for wanting to find some light or hope or a damn human connection just makes you a bigger asshat.

Well, really. Did you expect anything less?

you and me

I’m going to have to shoot some film. I need to get the Yaschicamat out.

Yup. That kid invented a 240something letter alphabet. Damn.

ba-Gawk.