I like stickers.

The only thing I ever collected with any seriousness was post cards.  Happily they’re so easy to store.

eerie.

I’m glad the humidity has broken.

I don’t know, the kindness of my heart?  Yes, contrary to popular rumor, I do have a heart.

These two are just never happy.  They just never stop complaining.

National Scotch Day!  Yes, please, thank you!

I should randomly switch random days on you.  Random Friday!  Ha!  What?  Random Sunday?  Yeah.  None of them really have the same … I dunno.

I’m so tired.  I probably need more iron.  Maybe I should start drinking blood.  Isn’t that what we rabid cons are supposed to be doing?  Blood sucking?

You are not hurting my feelings, lady.  But you sure are amusing.

apocryphal.

Sparrows of doom!

Ear.

vacation.  want more vacation.

Counting the wows.  They seem to be on the low side today.  Unusual.

Pending.  No more pending!

I’m getting mighty tired of bologna sandwiches.

Don’t eat your sweater!

Isn’t terrorism antithetical to libertarianism?

tenebrous.

No links yet today.  More unusual.

Here’s a little something for you …

Ha.  Swiss cheese.

Hell’s Bells it’s almost August!  Halloween is getting closer all the time!  Still not decided on doing the month of photos again this year.

It’s like we’re speaking two different languages at each other.  I can understand you, but you have no idea what I’m saying.

Aw!

Oooh it’s dark and gloomy! My favorite.

“Individually wrapped sun dried plums”?  Aren’t those prunes?

Yes it is an envelope full of human hair.  What’s your point?

recondite.

Well, of course I left my umbrella in the car.  Where else would it be?

Pouring.  Thundery.  Lightningish.  Also my favorite.

No.  We voted to get rid of Affirmative Action.  Don’t bring the damn thing back.  How is banning this form of racial discrimination unconstitutional?  Ridiculous.

How will you ever make it through something like Game of Thrones if you can’t even make it through Deja Dead?

It’s a mellowish melancholyish subduedish afternoon.  You need this.

I don’t want to go to the gym.  I just want to go home.

What the hell is Fathead and why would I want half off from it?

I kind of love this.  It would be so cool in the middle of January when we’re longing for July.

murky.

I don’t wanna.

Shiftless when idle.

Extra eyelid skin?

Oops!

Bitches.

I’m full of tinier –

Hello mosquito.

I don’t have a Kindle.  I have to wait for the mail.

I am not good at games.

It’s a shame I’m not wealthy.

I don’t think occultification is a word.

I could totally go for a cupcake right now.

I realize that I don’t have to understand.  But the not understanding is making my brain hurt.

I had no idea that that’s what that meant.  Interesting.

Not exactly a black magic woman.

Can’t win.  Tired of trying.

It’s the ridiculous that keeps me sane.

A credo.  Yeah, that’s probably a good thing to have.

Interesting.  All those clouds.

She just ruins everything.

The charts could be a code.

Do you EVER stop talking?  Your voice is scratchy and mean.  Just be quiet.

Excellent mix on the borrowed Zune this morning.

I’m wearing a belt.  That’s a little weird.  Also it’s macrame or something.  Very 70s.

vitiate.

It could be gloomier.

I don’t know how to do that.

19×4=76

The speed of sound.

Rock on, monkey pants.  Rock on.

Two women in conversation as they smoke:
“The air isn’t supposed to be something you can feel.  It’s heavy!  It’s, like, suffocating!” “Yeah, it makes it kinda hard to breathe.”

I’d like Cut, Cap and Balance more if it didn’t allow a debt ceiling increase.  But.  Good job, GOP.

decimate.

I have never liked John Steinbeck.

Spreadsheets.  My very favorite.

Long distance.

It’s all over now.

You’d think it’s never been humid here before.  Hello!  We’re a frigging peninsula.  It’s going to be humid in July.  Yes, we’re all miserable.  Your incessant whining about it doesn’t make any of us feel better.

“Hello I guess.” is probably not the best way to answer your work phone.  Just, you know, FYI.

It’s that time of year again, over at Day By Day.  My pal Chris Muir – who will draw me one day! – is running his annual fund raiser.  If you’ve enjoyed the strip at all, you should consider donating.  In this economy, every little bit helps.  And if you haven’t checked it out – do it now!  Good stuff.  And Zed.  mmmmZedmmmm

I am so chipper!  I should get an Oscar.  Does that come with money?

Speaking of donating to everyone, you could hit my donate tab too, contribute to my iPod Touch fund.  Thank you, ever so.

“It doesn’t take a brain scientist to figure that out!”  I think they call those “neurologists”.   Just in case you were wondering.

No.  No, I’m sorry, those are two completely different things.  Sorbet is not sherbet.  It just isn’t.

Your lunch smells like my dog.

eradicate.

I bought 100 rounds of ammunition yesterday.  Guy in sporting goods seemed put out.  You want ammunition?  Is that all?

I don’t care what anyone says about this album, I love this song.

Oh work drama.  Hi-larious.

That girl’s earrings are as big as her face.  Seems like that would be kind of uncomfortable to have hanging from your ears.

You don’t even say hello?

Find the fish!

Mozarella Filofax.

No one is ever going to care that tomorrow is your Friday.

I finally watched the Pacific.  I like Band of Brothers better.  But.  I just can’t even imagine how those guys survived Guadalcanal or Pavuvu or Peileilu.  I simply can’t convey my respect for those men.  That shit was insane.

Ha!  Adam West floor.

This might just be among the weirdest matter of fact conversations I’ve ever had with the Mister.

You need some Aerosmith in your day.

obliterate.

What?  Obviously everyone loves Aerosmith.

Why is the Google logo peas today?  I frigging hate peas.  Oh.  Mendel.  Bees are good.  They should have used bees.

Taco send office?  This place is so weird.

The latest item on my want want want list.  You can picture me there, right?  I’ve seriously always wanted to be a Bond Girl.  Not even joking.

Perhaps while composing your voice mail greeting you should scrap the phrase “love you”.  Second time today I’ve encountered that one.  People are so strange.

Fiber!

My hair isn’t growing fast enough.

It’ll be a massacre.

Mohair.   Going to have to try working something in mohair.

It smells like bacon in here.  Much better than what it usually smells like.

What would possess you to take things down in my cube?  It’s not your cube.  Don’t touch my stuff.

So many GPAs.  So monumentally dull.

Gumption.

I think I need some Aleve.

I can’t find it.

Where are you hiding the eggs, dammit?  Lazy chickens.

Danger.  Zombies.  Run.

It would be cool to have some 600 film for the Polaroid, but I’m not willing to pay Impossible Project prices for it.  Miss W wants an Instax like mine.

So.  About that vacation do over.  I’ll be needing some cash and about 97% less bad news, thank you ever so.

I think every muscle in my body hurts.  Well maybe not that one.  But the rest of them.  Ouch.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before.  Work theme song or something.

Grayer and grayer.

I don’t like it when they huddle and whisper.  It makes me paranoid.  Particularly since they’re not especially nice people.

Well, that’s an interesting look.

Damn.  I don’t want to go by myself.

Take a break.

Batteries batteries batteries.

Contemptible.

Mrs. POTUS.  Michelle.  Honey.  Listen to me.  STFU and listen to me.  Go on and eat your fries and your shakes and your burgers and LEAVE THE REST OF US ALONE.  #salt

I frigging hate peas.

Jesus, Mary and Oprah?!

I don’t know about Google +.  It’s kind of boring.  It’s all the same people I already talk to elsewhere.  I’m overlapping circles with people I want nothing to do with.  Meh.  I am, thus far, not impressed.

Specificity.

You’re retiring in 13 months?  I wonder how many people knew that before I did.

GC-MS

Danger.  Zombies.  Run.

Your mileage may vary.

Huh.  Well I didn’t miss the sound of your bitching at all, I can tell you that.

71 degrees and we’re turning the air on WHY?

Is there anything ruder than cracking your gum incessantly in an office full of people?  Your coworkers want to strangle you.

Sigh.

I’m sorry.  I just don’t care about your problems right now.  I’m tapped out.  Drained.  Exhausted of empathy.  Can’t be bothered.  Apathetic.  Got enough of my own right now, thank you very much.

Holy phone calls, bat man!

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also this.

The Spin Doctors?  Really?  Okaaaaaay.

I’ve loved this song since 1990 when I heard it for the first time on a bus in Sydney, Australia.

Crisp cucumber.

Achoo!  Many many achoos.  What the hell?

I think I better walk.

So.  If all those many many many people don’t get their social security checks next month, I wonder what will happen.  Will THAT be enough to ensure Obama does not get reelected in 2012? Rampant government spending is catching up with these fools and they’re still not admitting that the ONLY solution is to STOP spending.  No no no!  Just raise the debt ceiling.  It’s all good!  Foolishness.

Danger.  Zombies.  Run.

Ooooh!

I know you like it when I pile on the links.

Dreamy.  Seriously dreamy.  But that is some mad expensive yarn.

It’s not like me to

Devil duckie eraser is crumbling to bits.

OK.  I’m gonna do it.  By myself.  Ugh.

I am not actually here right now.  Please come back tomorrow when I will be.

Alright.  That’s it.  I can’t tell you any more.

It’s only a memory.