“Don’t vote for the person who tells you you deserve something. Just don’t do it if it’s something other than life, liberty, or the pursuit of possible happiness. If everyone is telling you you deserve something, vote for the one who is promising you the least. Be suspicious of the man or woman who tells you you deserve everything. Because you don’t.” ~ Mike Rowe

Maybe it’s something else.

I’m just not sure I can do this anymore.

“Libs are always hating on Chick-fil-A, but Chick-fil-A has never arrested a black man for not buying a sandwich.”

I don’t think anyone’s reading it anyway.

She just seems to be deeply out of touch with how “regular” people live. I mean she might as well be Gwyneth Paltrow.

Wow.

Why is that being treated as a complaint?? That’s fucking stupid.

I need some speakers.

Sorry. Right back to where I was before. I just don’t feel like I belong and you’re doing nothing to change that with your actions and no amount of telling myself I do belong is making that true…

This just in: jentober is not actually heartless.

I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions. I can’t make people follow directions.

Ooooh these are pretty! I’d obviously keep them up year round.

Let me just tell you how sick I am of hearing about the fucking roads, shall I?

Too many Goddamn cooks. Send your own fucking emails. I’ve had it with this whole endeavor.

I need some kind of attitude adjustment. Send help.

It’s all fades and brioche, fades and brioche, fades and brioche, all the time. M.E.H. No thanks.

Also I can’t wear mohair, so let’s nip that rising trend in the bud, shall we?

No, really. I need help please.

Stop sending me emails telling me to stop sending you my photos that I am not sending you. Spammy McJerkface.

“When I saw the budget they were offering, I said, ‘Fuck this.’” Yeah, that’s how I feel about a lot of shit too, David Lynch.

But seriously, how did I get on Vulture’s mailing list?

No one told me The Posies were going to be at Bell’s tomorrow.

No one tells me anything.

everything is everything

“How are you??” “I’m on Xanax.”

Wow, I was just starting to get into it and then WHAM – a dig at homeschoolers AND Ayn Rand in the space of five minutes. Sad.

Just maybe think that blue lipstick through a little more thoroughly. That’s all I’m saying.

There is absolutely no legitimate reason that this should be taking this long. None.

I wish I had a cookie.

The problem with having a protein shake for lunch is that now I’m freezing my ass off.

Are you serious? Because that is literally what I asked you to do two months ago. WTF does your office even exist for?

I’m not sure I’m loving this new phone. I definitely do not love that the rear facing camera flips the image. My old phone did not flip the image and I loved that.

Is anyone enjoying my book series?

Dammit. Forgot to bring that other blue with me.

All this standing is not working for me today.

This is the grumpiest Random in a while. Damn.

Oh good. It’s the “walk back and forth and in and out of the office in flip flops” portion of the day. I was so afraid I’d missed it.

This is fascinating.

People are being whispery and bitchy and weird again. I hate it when that starts cycling up. Makes for very unpleasant vibes.

Here’s a cool thing you could do: Donate to my cause of bringing Gaiman to campus.

Huh. If I’m going to be the only one left in the office for the rest of the day, it might have been helpful of people to LET ME KNOW.

I give up.