keylogger. hmmmm.

That was a deeply unsatisfying article.

Sure would be nice to not be sick any more. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, really.

No, but every word of this is true.

Pretty sure I’m going to fall asleep sitting here.

I’m not sure why I should care.

Stop blaming everything on the “Satanic Panic.”

It’s not “all the sudden.” It just isn’t.

I don’t know who is formatting all these official university emails, but they’re way too big to fit in a normal email window and frankly, I’m not scrolling back and forth and up and down to read your shit.

Everyone is so bossy and self-righteous this time of year, while pretending to be supportive and encouraging. Shut up and do your own thing. 

It’s not like I can just sit around reading.

I cannot remember why I signed up for this email.

Wait, that doesn’t make any sense.

I don’t know why that Baby Yoda is so stinkin’ cute, but dammit. It’s just so stinkin’ cute.

WTF kind of name is Raddix? That sounds like some kind of pest control product.

You know what? My head really fucking hurts.

I’m sure that comes as a shock to you.

I sent around 100 Christmas cards this year. I received around 12. I think it may be time to hang it up.

And just like that, it was January.

I feel like I should be panicking, but I’m just too tired.

Sometimes it’s really hard to read an email without a snotty tone. Just because of the way it’s worded. I’d like to not be offended by your bitchery, but it’s just so bitchy.

I hate these people so much.

I just received an email that opened “Hello Jennisen,” That’s a new one.

My name doesn’t matter. It’s totally fine.

You’re either a Returner or you’re wrong.

But what even is X?

Goofball. Sheesh.

STIMULANTS!!!!

“Rub some dirt on it, spit on it, and walk it off.” That’s essentially my parenting doctrine. Also I need to read this book, because she sounds like my kind of chick.

But in like a year, after I graduate. Because I clearly do not have time now.

Also I’m fairly certain I read her IDW piece that’s referenced in this interview.

Yes. Well.

Not a good look when you get pulled over in the official company delivery car, kid.

I could always take up smoking again.

Relax, I’m joking.

I’m legit having a hard time coming up with a thousand words.

Everything just comes out wrong anyway.

Yeah, but I bet you won’t talk about the benefits of human composting.