I’ll take 86% of a glazed donut, thank you.

Damn. I didn’t see any ghosts when I was at the Stanley. And you know I looked.

Why am I still doing this?

I firmly believe in spontaneous order. In the world. In my personal life it’s much harder to embrace.

She has been Scotch taping crap for an hour. What’s she building in there?

I just need a quick Graham McTavish break.

I think I’ve pinched a nerve. It’s causing me some serious angst.

Huh. Current mood. Questionable. Appropriate that this just came up in rotation.

Why do people say casted on? That’s not a thing.

I think my biggest grammar pet peeve of all time is people who say “in lieu of” when in fact they mean “in light of.” In lieu of = instead of. In light of = because of. Try to keep it straight, people.

Yes, even more irritating than misuse of apostrophes. Not even kidding.

I want to take a blowtorch to all the delicate fucking snowflakes of the world. I simply cannot take this foolishness for one more minute.

i’m so sorry for everything   i’m so sorry for everything    i’m so sorry for everything   i’m so sorry for everything

I don’t know why I google health crap. I never find a reasonable, logical, legitimate answer.

No she’s not.

No, I think I’m done babbling now.

I don’t know why this has to be so bloody complicated. I wish I could just hire someone to do this.

Holy wow, dude. Calm the hell down.

EMG That sounds like what you use to test for paranormal activity or something. If only it were actually going to be that fun.

I don’t know internet memes. I have no idea what you people are talking about.

I’m torn. Do I rip and start the whole thing over or do I continue and just fix that little annoyance when I’m weaving.

I’m pretty sure I just don’t feel like starting over. I may not be very far along, but I just want to keep going.

Is Gary Johnson the perfect candidate? No. Do I agree with him on everything? No. Is he the only sane and rational choice for president? Yes. So vote libertarian. And buy my t shirt.

“It’s not ‘Gonna Raise Hell’ it’s ‘Raise a Little Hell’.”
“Ha, just a little hell. Not too much.”
“Go on kids, raise a little hell. … Fuckin’ Canada.”

Canada, you’re just too nice.

Oh Lion Brand.

“I would not be caught dead there.”

You seep too much. I don’t sleep enough.

I uploaded the wrong photo last night, so you get one from the archives this week.

Kind of Liz Phair-esque I guess. It was unintentional.

God I hate Outlook. And Office 365. And every single thing about the web platform.

I really wish I hadn’t poked play on that.

I hate doll houses. For real. They wig me the hell out.

I think I need to just go ahead and give up on Flickr.

How is Highlander 30 years old already?

Well evidently that is the type of person you are, because that is what you did.

How am I on episode 12 already?

cheese and crackers. cheese and crackers. cheese and crackers.

I forgot how much I like Nights in White Satin. I don’t know why. I mean I don’t know why I like it so much. I suppose I also don’t know why I forgot. Whatever.

You should check out Henry Lohmeyer on Insta. He makes some beautiful images.

I’m reasonably certain I’ve mentioned my pure and righteous hatred of UPS in the past, but allow me to reiterate. Now they’ve lost my standing desk. How do you lose a flipping desk? How?

“That is horrible. And also awesome.” Exactly.

The 2016 Election is a reality television show.

Did you really just say “Matt Welch and me talked to … “?? oy.

Wow. I’ve been neglecting you today. I’m so sorry. I don’t even know where the time has gone at all.

Uhhhhh. I can’t type a sound of disgust that is accurate enough. Ughhhhh. Would you just stop? Enough, lady.

Crap. Now I have that awful Third Eye Blind song stuck in my head. Quick! To the interwebs for a palate cleanser!

Ah yes. Haven’t listened to this in a while. I kinda dig her. Not my usual thing, but whatevah.

See? No one ever hears me when I say “bless you”.

Man. I have GOT to finish this stupid shawl. I love the finished product but I hate this pattern to knit.

Oh look at that. It’s already in my favorites.

Aw. I liked Empire Records. It was sweet.

And just like that, it’s time to go pick up your tween’s sneakers that she left behind on her camping party to come home barefoot.

Who does that?

Dude. Don’t ask for money in Comic Sans. Just don’t.

8888888990–=ljhfdaaah,ffllooppp-h;;;s;;s;s;;s;smsjkhhgggniJmuhhuaioiisidisisj..s’;’ww’;w;w;k3wkkaqkjqjquuahujkllllllkdj2iuiuo21u1qu2qijiikkqlqioOsqxj;kqwiHJokp

Guest post by Stormageddon.

I don’t know why I bother. It’s not like I ever get a response.

“‘How does it feel to sit and talk about boobs, for HOURS?’ Nobody does that. Nobody has the time to just sit and talk about nothing but boobs for hours. I mean the whole thing was just so horrible.”

horirble

Thank God we don’t live in the dark ages of cell phones anymore.

I’m going to join the choose your own adventure tee along. By golly. If my yarn doesn’t take 3 years to arrive.

By golly.

We can “like” email messages at work now. I don’t even know what planet I am on anymore.

These are fantastic!

They really should have cut that fabric differently. It does not read the racist way they’d like it to read.

I’m not a fan or anything, but what the hell happened to Lil Kim?

I’m sitting here with the caps lock on wondering why none of my passwords are working. I’m having a rough morning, y’all.

I can’t believe they want that much for freakin’ Kansas tickets. Please.

I did not get my walk in this morning. I might be able to squeeze one in in a bit. Maybe.

Can I just get a total do-over on today please? Starting around 9 last night? I’d really appreciate that.

Oh. My. GOD. There are no words to express precisely how much I wholly and completely loathe Office 365. None.

I really don’t think I can be nice to people right now.

I ordered my standing desk on July 1. It is still not here. sigh.

I don’t even know how I ended up there, but I just had the misfortune of perusing Gwyneth Paltrow’s Instagram feed. Gah.

I totally forgot how much I love Garden Herb Triscuits.

I cannot get Pat Benatar out of my head now. Wonderful.

Smart. Figures. Now that is irony.

I think my feet might be a little bit stinky today. That’s life I guess.

Ha. I was shopping for a new alarm clock.

Sheeeeesh. I’m like a spider magnet. It’s freaking weird.

I’ve never really listened to these guys before.

and your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected

This is kind of hilarious. I might actually play this game.

“Rat lookin’ sumbitch” is the best Pokename evah.

I don’t know how to answer your question.

I got on the Spotify thinger. I made a Supernatural playlist. On account of I’m a geek.

Where is my desk, dammit?

There is an unpleasant odor in mah kitchen. Dammit.

OK. I have things to do. Things to knit. Photos to deal with. A lab to find. Prints to puzzle out. blah blah

Yeah, I think I’m gonna wait for my bangs to grow out.

That seems like the smart move.

I for serious hate the sound of your keyboard.

The Whiskey Rebellion would be a good band name.

I wish they sold Diet Dr. Pepper in the machines. I’m over the Dew at the moment.

Interesting. That’s actually quite the view from Christ the Redeemer. Walk over to that little curved part of the balustrade …

Oh. My. God. Like these weren’t made just for me.

That might be the first time ever that I remembered my Tumblr password on the first try.

I do not find Tim McGraw attractive. I just don’t get what you ladies see there.

I have no idea what’s going on this building right now.

I wish I could say that I was surprised. But I’m not even a little bit.

Wait, I’m still Facebook friends with Jason Newstead??

Last undergrad class ever starts in t minus … I don’t know. Some minutes.

People act like the Rule of Law wasn’t already broken before the Clintons came along. Please.

Let me tell you this little story so you can get a clear picture of my brain: I have to pee so I go in the bathroom, hike my skirt up and sit down. I look down and only see my underpants. I immediately think, “Where is my skirt? Did I leave it at my desk?? Wait! Did I remember to put a skirt on this morning??? Did I just come to work in my underwear????” And only THEN, after ALL of this has run through my head do I look again and see my skirt hiked up around my waist and say “Oh! There it is!” and get on with my morning. I’m completely serious.

I mean. Why would it even occur to me to wonder if I remembered to dress my lower half in the first place?

Too much information? You’ll get over it. That shit was hi-larious.

This class is going to kill me.

I’m going to have Dust in the Wind stuck in my head all damn day.

I guess I’ll just have to stop sleeping entirely.

sigh

Where is the rain? It was supposed to bloody rain! I need it to rain!!! Bastards

I don’t know. I just don’t understand a world where emoticons are now built into my work email.

And by fun I mean the complete and utter opposite of fun.

I wish someone would bring me an iced coffee because they’re nice.

Gretchen Carlson got fired?

OMG just re-send the email! No one knows what they’re supposed to do!

I love cheese danish.

Yep. It’s a semester long interview.

I need to do some thank you cards. I’m so behind on everything. On all the things. All. The. Things.

The struggle is real.

I would completely love a print from this artist. I just adore his work. He’s part of my Instagram zen.

Jesus American Spectator. How many times does a girl have to unsubscribe before you get the message?

I need to review all those links on the right. Some of those people just don’t even post anymore. Maybe I just won’t even link to other people any more. But. You know. In six weeks when this class is over and I have time to breathe.

I cain’t get enough o’ yah love.

It’s a legitimate question.

I think I need to just give in and go with the natural hair for the rest of the summer. Embrace the frizz. It’s too damn humid to try and keep it straight and smooth. Anyway, the floof of the metal hair hides the fact that I need to dye my roots kind of.

I think I may have a solution to your problem.

Wait. That would require me actually going to Costco, which, just thinking about it sort of gives me hives.

“sitting is the new smoking” … but not nearly as stimulating.

I thought that was Graham McTavish! He’s so sexy when he’s not all gross old western grungy.

Ugh. I officially give up on you, Facebook.

Oooh Keep Calm and Gary On! That’s a good one!

That’s interesting … and possibly very very weird.

“I’m gonna assume those people have shitty taste in books.”

If you’re not listening to Lera Lynn, you’re doing yourself a great disservice.

Shit. I’m going to have to take a couple of days off work to get this thesis crap finished.

Look. I can’t make 16 people all available at the same place and the same time. It’s like the Holy freaking Grail.

i will wait i will wait for you

Don’t forget tha Outloooooooks.

What! Yes please!!!

I am typing this sentence on my phone.

I am typing this sentence on my computer.

I love you Dropbox mobile app. You’re so handy when my Google phone doesn’t back up the files I want it to back up.

I have been sitting too long.

I don’t know what to eat. I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO EAT.

Argh. Stupid Google. Don’t make me hate you.

I just don’t want to be here.

It’s a little chilly in here. In 15 minutes or so it’ll be too warm in here. I hate this stupid centrally controlled temperature.

If I were an athlete, I would not want to go to Rio. Olympics or no Olympics.

I wonder if anyone would notice if I just took a nap. I’m guessing not so much.

I don’t know a thing about docking stations.

Ooooooh I get to order a stand up desk!!!

I don’t actually care why you chose one over the other, I just need to know which bloody one you want.

Whelp. I’m out of water. Must be Diet Dr. Pepper time.

Yes. Yes, it is.

It’s kind of shocking how quickly and thoroughly B.O. can permeate and linger in a room.

I never want to see another volunteer time log again.

“If it’s not canon, it shouldn’t be in the show.”

Wow. Truth.

Something in here is stinky.

I’ve never liked John Irving.

Also I just don’t think Adele actually is all that.

This is so cool.

Well that escalated quickly.