Dear God why.

That job sounds kind of awesome. Too bad it’s two pay grades below mine.

I hate it when I clean my desk and dust it and wipe it down and then it takes me a full day to get my keyboard and mouse back to where they’re comfortable again.

So I’m thinking W’s Girl Scout troop is officially dead. I’ma miss those cookies.

I’m just going to interoffice these damn things since I can’t seem to remember to bring them to coffee with me.

And by coffee I mean caramel apple cider until Biggby cuts me off.

Huh. I was expecting something dirtier I guess.

Well just give it a minute. Sheesh.

Digitize it!

Your horrible horrible cheap perfume alone is enough of a reason for me to be looking for a new place to work. God.

Whenever I see Menominee anywhere that Sesame Street song starts going through my head.

Read present tense.

That is some kinda fucked up.

“The medium is not always the message.”

Nice try, kid.

You thought it was a breakup letter, didn’t you?

What’s the name of that place we went with all the Norwegians and the unbelievable bakery?

The answer is NO.

I love you, Twix.

Stop telling me what to do, liberals. Stop. Staaaaaaahp. Why are you so bossy? You are not the boss of me.

Pretty sure this is what TAs are for …

I guess no one wants a letter from me then?

This is why I can’t deal with women. If you’re not of the hive mind, you must be destroyed.

But. But. But I NEED cookies.

Yes, Death Cafe. Sign me up.

Death positive, baby.

Go get yo food, bitch.

Life is too short to read books that do nothing for you.

THE PUMPKIN KING IS DOON.

Who knocked the Pumpkin King over, people? Heads. Will. Roll.

Yeah, no. No President Oprah, but good try.

Son of a motherless goat.

Just get the chicken one then.

Where are we going?

Shop your Instagram? Sweetie, no one who reads your blog can afford those prices.

I just don’t even know what to say about this.

I do not know.

I can’t review that book. I can’t even seem to finish it. In fact, I completely forgot I was reading it.

I have no idea how I got this email, but it turned out to be an interesting read.

I’m dealing with the PDFs, OK???

I remembered to bring them to coffee with me!

Oops. Blood sugar crash. Nothing worse than missing your protein window.

Everything seems warmer than it is because we got used to it being minus eleventy degrees.

And there’s the nail in the coffin of my love for Jason Isaacs. Sigh. Hypocritical asshole, just like all the others.

Come on, it’s not like I’m even a Trump family cheerleader. I just think this shit is messed up. Are you standing up for women or not? Right. You’re not.

Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t love her on Broadchurch, not sure I’ll love her as the Doctor. Not sure I’m really interested in a female Doctor anyway.

It would be nice if you could just go ahead and get back to me please and thank you.

Nothing like hanging around where you’re not appreciated.

I’ll be announcing my own cryptocurrency later today.

Wow, I just got lost in Twitter for a minute. I don’t even understand that place any more.

I love my new coat.

I’m so rolling my eyes at you.

Oh. I guess you were talking about the county.

Do you ever stop talking?

Good job. Good job.

Watching Sam Winchester do the whole demon blood junkie thing grosses me the hell out.

I typed bomb instead of Bob. Seems legit.

First of all, everybody knows you can have more than one best friend. Second of all, good luck with that.

I’ve never really been an Oprah fan anyway, to be honest.

… I half expect to find out that this is going to be happening on campus every time I come to work. I’m not really joking.

Don’t get too hung up on that rule.

I can’t write that many things.

Maybe I should try Harney & Sons.

Bleah.

Well that’s good news. But it doesn’t matter.

I threw it on the ground.

I hope you don’t think I’m picking up that slack. Cos I’m not.

I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so sorry for everything.

I’m not at all sure to whom he is referring, actually.

Oh wait, no. I do know. I wish I could make an eyeroll face here. Cos he’s kind of wacko.

Oooooh! And the first book looks really good, too.

Wow, you’re really set on that one, aren’t you? Sheesh.

Every single person who has said anything about resolutions has said “I don’t do resolutions, but I love the idea of intentions, so I’m doing intentions.” Just seems like basically you’re giving yourself an excuse to fail from the start. No?

You know, it’s funny, because I had intended to be not bitchy today. And already I have failed. See above.

I have no intentions. I have no resolutions. I do have a strong hankering for some caffeine.

Huh. I don’t remember City Tweed being that spendy. Oh that’s City Tweed Aran. Never mind.

I don’t know why I’m looking. The last thing I need right now is more yarn.

Trapped. Forever.

AGAIN

Um. Proprietary means something very different than propriety, lady.

Me: I’m not going to spend any money!
Universe: Midnight deer print swing dress. With pocketses.

There are about eleventy dresses on that site that I want. And all so reasonably priced! Dammit!

I was thinking about taking a class. For about 5 minutes. Then I came to my senses.

Oregonians whining about having to pump their own gas. I want to laugh, but I’m sort of baffled at the reaction.

When I was in high school we still had a few gas stations that had pump attendants. My friend Mike was one. Those stations charged extra for the service. I don’t remember when they all went by the wayside, but they were rare even then.

Wait. Easter is on April Fool’s Day this year? That’s so weird.

I could really use some lunch.

I don’t have much to say today.

Oh, that’s why it’s getting so cold in here. I turned the space heater off.

Actually, I could totally go for some bar nachos right now.

I did not win free boots for a year. Sadness.

I really need to read that book.

I really hope the DNR calls.

They probably won’t.

Seems like a thank you would have been appropriate. Dick.

I need to remember to put these postcards in the box.

We should not all work really hard to be outgoing, actually.

I don’t know who these Chip and Joanna people are, but whatever.

God I can’t stand Wil Wheaton.

I have so little energy these days, I can’t think of a single reason why I should waste any of it on you.

Well. Not YOU, chickens.

That doesn’t sound like something Socrates would say.

Never mind you, Mpix. You’re too spendy.

Seriously, how is it possible for my hair to look this bad?

I honestly can’t tell the difference.

are you there yet? are you there yet? are you there yet?

I wish I had some garden herb Triscuits.

Better than roasting I suppose.

Why is everything all “having a moment” all of a sudden? Where did that phrase come from?

What an odd meeting time.

What’s with all the plane crash documentaries lately?

beep boop. beep.

How is 2017 the first time we’ve ever heard of this Jolabokaflod?

Huh. I thought I withdrew from that program.

I need to wash my hair.

I’m such an ogre. Clearly.

I don’t think I want to work in the president’s office, thanks.

I only don’t know how to do it because I haven’t done it yet.

I don’t know. I guess it’s sort of like “goth cowgirl” or something.

EAT THE COOKIES!!!!

I don’t really want to listen to you all eating.

Well, that was a surprise.

Not everything needs your “witty” commentary attached to it.

It’s a wonderful life, Dean Winchester.

I’ve never actually made a formal request for five grand before.

mmmmmmm Mexicanish mmmmmmmm

Couldn’t we just skip the whole buffet breakfast that you’ll have ordered too much of and will make me clean up? No one wants it.

I think your agenda fetish is weird.

Apply for all the jobs!

The potatoes were good though.

Wow that’s … generic.

Ack! More weird new Instagram updates.

Hey, you should check out Patriot on Amazon. Brilliant.

I didn’t talk much. I bet that will be demerits or something in my next one on one. grr

OK. I guess. I don’t know.

Bikinis fine I don’t care
again he’s fine I don’t care
but Kenny is fine I don’t care

I feel like I should finish Lonesome Dove, but man.

I actually love all of these ideas. (Although I think the charity one could be tricky.)

Oops. I guess that’s not the correct answer.

I don’t miss the Expedition, but I do sometimes miss the roominess.

Yeah, that sounds awful. What a monster.

That might be kind of cool.

I’ve been neglectful.

I wish I had a cider. Maybe I can make a Biggby run.

Probably not. SIGH.

I still have a couple of hours.

HOURS.

It’s professional development or something.

I dunno. I like wolves.

That’s five now.

This is kind of awesome.

It’s like time just STOPS. Of course time never stops when you want it to.

Never.

I’m not sure that this book will actually help me be a better supervisor.

I just think if you’re going to buy someone a meal, you don’t make them clean it up afterward. That’s just weird.

That’s a good one for the calendar.

Are you wearing extra of your stinky awful perfume today? I should not be able to smell you in my cube. I should not be able to taste your perfume, period. God. It’s so awful.

So. Awful.

That might be a cool job.

The smoke pooling out of the boot was a nice touch.

Maybe I should watch The Ref.

Can I watch The Ref anymore? With all the Kevin Spacey grossness can I even watch that movie?

JESUS AFTER DINNER I SAID.

Why does my hand hurt?

How far is it to Peoria?

This is the first I’m hearing about a Bronco trophy.

We should move to a haunted mansion and make it a tourist attraction. “Come sleep in the haunted mansion!”

I’m totally gonna be a ghost and haunt people after I die.

It’d be a little weird if I did it before I died.

Probably.

Well, yes. It is rather a bright sweater.

Who steals spoons? And how are there that many people stealing spoons? Maybe they’re not stealing them, but throwing them away? I don’t understand.

I typed deadling instead of deadline. I’m OK with that.

I just realized that the guy who plays the vampire Eli is the guy who plays the vampire Benny later.

I always think it’s interesting when shows do that. Like Nicholas Lea on the X Files. That’s the only other example I can think of right now.  I never much cared for him.

Wow, my mousepad is filthy.

I really don’t like the actress that plays Meg in season 1. At all.

Guess I better find my winter boots.

The camera work in this episode of Supernatural is killing me.

I am already over this whole Jack storyline. Sheesh.

Wow. That was super un-Dean-like. They should kill Mary off already. Man.

I’m probably about to fall asleep right now.

I’m so glad we don’t do a Secret Santa thing here.

That sounds awful.

No one wants to hear me talk.

I can’t even remember the last time I saw them.

I don’t know where you’re going to put this person.

Is it a statement? Is it a question? I don’t understand your message!

A pay cut is not a deal breaker at this point.

This is because to the left, conservative women aren’t women at all.

“I think you balance the professional boss-like relationship with friendship and support, and it works really well.”

Thanks, Psych the Movie. Now I just miss the show all over again. Good job.

the h o r r o r

OK, seriously, that might be the worst episode of Supernatural I have ever seen. WTF, guys?

So, what. They’re like stuck in Dinotopia now? Come on, son.

Damn. I thought that said 3:19. It did not.

Also I hate Dinotopia.

I could go for a brownie.

Everybody’s running around the office giving each other presents. It’s weird.

I hope his absence this last two weeks means he’s no longer with the radio station. I can’t stand that guy.

I’ve never seen Elf. I’m OK with that.

Well. That might have bought us some time.

I just do not care about Star Wars and you can’t make me.

I think she needs a shawl.

Fuck! I was really hoping they’d forgotten about that.

OMG Enough. Enough with your fantasy memes about the disaster of life without Net Neutrality. It’s foolishness. Let it die.

I just really don’t want to be anyone’s executive assistant anymore. I never really wanted to be anyone’s executive assistant in the first place.

I don’t think we’re winning any hearts and minds with this one.

Stupid clothes with no pockets.

Come to think of it, I’m not super fond of the actress who plays Meg later, either. I don’t like the way she talks all smarmy and nasally. She talks like that in everything I’ve ever seen her in.  That’s mean. I’m only going based on the assumption that she always puts on this weird acting voice. I have no idea what she sounds like out in the world.

I typed worlds. I wonder what she sounds like out in the worlds.

I like oranges. Oranges are a lovely gift. Thank you.

Are David Tenant’s feet really that big?

Yawn. Boring. Blah blah. Gonna apply.

I really only follow her for the occasional glimpses of Neil or baby Ash.

I don’t like retirement party cake. Retirement parties should all come with brownies. That icing has too much sugar.

I think I probably just don’t like parties.

Or maybe I would like them if I were invited to them.

Why does the weather always wait til I’m about to have to drive in it to turn to shit?

Send shoes.

They should make waste pipes extra large in anticipation of your 3.5 year old flushing wool beanies down the toilet.

Uff da.

Wow. This week’s gonna be super disappointing after the length of the last one. Sorry.

But. You know.

Phrase I’m thoroughly sick of this week: nevertheless, she persisted. Staaaaaaahp.

I will totally buy you a Biggby if you can help me out with this.

I got so caught up I forgot to take a break and now I have a meeting so I can’t. SIGH.

Yeah, I would maybe pick a different name.

I can’t help it if my hair is opinionated.

The problem is that I simply don’t care.

I never heard anyone say that when I was in Norway.

I like meat.

You had me til you said bergamot. Blech.

Should have worn my glasses again today.

Why do I fucking bother? No one listens to me. No one in this building fucking listens to me. So fuck it.

Stop saying “as well too.” Seriously.

Wow. I haven’t had a bagel in ages.

I think I may go into hiding.

Definitely should have word my glasses today. Eyes. So. Bleary.

Why doesn’t he just pull the stupid gag out of his mouth?

I might be just the tiniest bit high strung today …

That’s never good.

That is super gross. Ew.

I’m not sure why you might need that many.

People still eat Pizza Hut? I like their bread sticks. Now I want some Pizza Hut bread sticks.

This whole week has been one Monday after another.

No one ever needs to hear Baby, It’s Cold Outside ever again. You know I’m right about this.

Our real feel is 18, man.

We have a lot of prominent and well known lunatics and criminals in MI. But we also have guys like this.

Yeah, that makes sense. In that it doesn’t. At all.

Oh man, this movie looks amazing. And like I’ll cry. I wanted to cry in the trailer. I need to see this movie.

I can’t help it if you don’t laugh.

I’ve been pecking at this post all day and yet somehow my brain is still convinced that it’s only Tuesday. It is not Tuesday.

Man, the roads were crap this morning. Hello, winter.

What even

Stop automatically advancing photos for me, Instagram!

Politicians always talk about “the rich” as if they, themselves, aren’t in most instances, what average Americans would consider “rich.”

snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow

Overheard in the office: “I wish we could have snow in warm weather. I think that goes against Mother Nature’s Rules.”

I finished my tea way too early today.

Soooooooooooo glad I wore my glasses today. Even though I meant to wear a different pair.

Gah with the Brits. Why couldn’t they bring Mick back, if they absolutely had to bring one of them back? Ketch is icky.

Wait, didn’t they just do a heist storyline?

I don’t care. I just don’t like armpit hair on chicks. I’m allowed to not like armpit hair on chicks.

I have nothing to say to anyone. Nothing!

Wow, my students should always do my performance reviews. This has to be the best review I’ve ever received.

The Jennifers are not interchangeable, thank you.

Wow. That guy has the coolest office ever.

It’s not like I want to do this job for the rest of my life, thank you very much.

To Biggby or not to Biggby? It’s all snowy and blowy out there. So maybe no.

No. It isn’t.

Still want some Pizza Hut bread sticks. Yep.

Would I be able to avoid direct sunlight?

You sing it, Miss Dolly, Queen of Everything.

The thing with that song is that at least 6 of the things she says she maybe will do are all things that are on my “Shit I’ve been maybe gonna do” list.

This is probably my best Christmas playlist ever, actually.

I know you think I have terrible taste in music. I don’t actually care.

I still really want a Norwegian kitchen witch. I got all excited cos there was one on Amazon, but it’s all wrong.

I just want to go away for a few days and take lots of pictures of wherever it is I am.

Actually, I really would like to go up to Leelanau for a bit.

But it’s neither here nor there, chickens. Neither here nor there.

I for real kept thinking it was the weekend. All day yesterday. Totally forgot that it was Wednesday. That does not happen to me very often.

If I hear the phrase “attitude of gratitude” one more time I’m going to punch somebody.

I think I’m the only person on the planet who hasn’t seen This Is Us.

I’ve always wanted to visit the Winchester Mystery House.

Why can’t we just let the hands mean what they mean to the individual? Why do we have to fucking tell people what they mean? Why do we have to be so fucking bossy?

Leave people alone. It’s a goddamn cup for fuck’s sake.

I still love this.

I didn’t even know that that road had been reopened.

I know you think you’re hilarious, but you’re really not funny at all.

The guy in the blue pullover on the left looks like he’s sitting for his JC Penney Serial Killer portrait or something.

Not if you’re going to use an apostrophe incorrectly when posing your question.

I thought that said “I ❤️ my groundhogs.” It did not.

It’s too bad this show Aquarius got canceled. I do love David Duchovny. But honestly, every time that Charles Manson character comes on screen I want to kick him in the teeth.

I imagine that’s much how my reaction to encountering the real Manson would have been as well.

Also the ending is frustrating. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

Uff da

And thus begins my annual “Can’t we just skip the holidays?” lament.

Yeah, I got nothin.

I’m not really a pecan pie kinda girl.

Puhcahn. Peecahn. Peecan.

Nuts!

I don’t really want this soda right now. I think I’d rather have a cuppa.

This might be the single most annoying children’s show I’ve ever had the misfortune to sit through.

Gah. Mulder and Scully are babies in season 1. This is totally punctuated by Mulder’s trench coat, which is two sizes too big. He’s holding the door open for Scully and the sleeve is completely obscuring his hand.

Oh 90s, with your crazy oversized men’s fashion.

Stop saying folks. Just stop.

I could really use a nap. And more tea. And millions of dollars. And a new job. And warmer socks. And all the yarn (except mohair, because that is the only fiber that makes me itch). And something to eat. And to lose many pounds. And a new job. And a vacation. To Scotland. And Ireland to see where that part of my family is from. And a Light camera. And a new job. And a maid. And a dumpster for all this crap. And a new car. And a new job. And to not feel tired all the time. And to not hate running. And did I mention a new job?

Oh.

Yes, I am sure I want to do this. That’s why I clicked the button. Sheesh.

I thought that was an Afghan Whigs Christmas album and for a moment I was super happy.

Wow. Hello giant hole in my backpack. Sadness.

Follow the bouncing ball.

Free pizza with purchase? I love pizza, but I’m not sure I love it enough to buy a house. Seems like I could just buy a pizza and save some cash.

Jesus, she’s like the captain of the thought police.

I just do not even want to know what that noise was.

Thank all the gods I have another short week.

What is going on with that chick’s eyebrows?

Pretty sure I’m not a genius.

How many times have I watched this movie?

Ha ha ha ha hahahahahahaha

You are unbelievable.

I thought it was a nice thing to say.

I could go for some bread.

I don’t know. 4:30 is really damn early.

I always add an r to the end of her name. It’s because her last name ends with an r and her first name ends in a vowel. I can’t help it.

Soooooooo because Krysten Ritter recently took up knitting, and she’s famous, she’s everybody’s favorite knit designer now? Huh.

I know I’ve complained about her before. I can’t help it.

It finally begins. Our triumphant return to England to take over rule of the country that once kept us under the boot of tyranny. Probably. I’m pretty sure.

There’s a rock in my shoe and I’m being followed by a man in a blue hat.

Only one of these things is true.

I just need to sleep for a while. I wonder how I can manage that.

What a weird way to start an email.

Charmed is just not holding up well for me at all.

Where are all the damn chargers???

Matt Lauer doesn’t surprise me. I always got a creepy vibe from that guy.

Oh my GOD this is a nightmare.

It’s not like it’s going anywhere.

Honestly. Who isn’t being accused of inappropriate behavior at this point? What a fucking sideshow this whole thing has become.

Every time this song comes up in my playlist I have to hit repeat.

Please say no.

OMG it’s awesome!!!!

I’m pretty sure he has his own admin. I don’t think you need to be loaning me out.

I think you FOLKS are just addicted to being pissed off all the time.

All of these damn kid songs have the same frigging melody. This is the crap they should use in enhanced interrogation.

I was going to tell you something, but I was driving and couldn’t write it down, so I forgot. Sorry.

Well, this wasn’t the plan at all.

Tim McGee is pretty much the only guy in the history of anything to be held captive and tortured by a drug lord for three months and come home having gained weight instead of losing it. And dear Lord who told him that facial hair was a good idea?

Also somebody tell Gibbs to cut his hair.

Also somebody bring back Tony and Ziva and get rid of Bishop and that British GQ guy, and Fez and that doctor chick from ER, and make NCIS great again.

I don’t know. It’s hard to say goodbye to the devil you know.

Bullets, bacon, and booze. A lot of booze.

I feel like he tried too hard not to care and incorporate the “I don’t care” ethos into the very turns of phrase he chose to slap this together. I feel like he pieced this whole thing together out of several first drafts and didn’t care so much that he just left it that way. It’s not that I disagree with what he’s saying, it’s that he could have said it so much better. And I love John Hughes’ films. And I don’t think Cohen really ever got to why.

I wouldn’t want to take a class with you.

Um. It’s a Pink Floyd cover. You’re not breaking any ground here. I could have done without the breastfeeding the politician visual, thanks.

Hard not to feel like a giant loser.

It’s not like

I don’t even know what to say.

I would not mind going to see Dwight Yoakam at all.

I’m really excited about a two day work week next week. And a three day work week the week after.

Turn the space heater on, get too warm. Turn the space heater off, get too cold.

This week sucks.

Let’s just go ahead and top today off with the dentist, shall we?

Yeah, I just can’t with you.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything, but if I had to be around them 24/7, I might end up institutionalized one way or another.

OK, probably not. And I’d still trade just about anything to be able to stay home instead of working.

Time for some unfrozen lunch I guess.

I don’t understand how I got on that mailing list.

I think he should rethink his pants.

FREAKY

It’s not like anyone listens to me.

I’ll end up being the mysteriousish old lady that runs the office.

God, that’s depressing.

I think we might be a little disensomething or other right now.

I’m really not having a good week, chickens. I’m just not.

It’s a rebuttal. It’s not a rebuttal.

I give up.

On the plus, my mouth is pretty healthy.

mechnaical

I like babies. I’m not a monster.

Huh.

That was a weird survey and I would like to know why my dentist wants to start offering Botox.

Maybe the press didn’t cover you because they don’t care. Maybe you’re not as big as you think you are. Maybe you aren’t as relevant as you think you are. Maybe your ego just needs to stop feeding itself quite so much. See above re Pink Floyd covers.

We still have those Jones Soda Thanksgiving sets, don’t we?

It’s not wolves.

I guess I was a little unclear.

OMFG I wish more celebrities would remain apolitical.

(Also, I’m pretty sure women everywhere are glad she ditched Tom Hiddleston, because women everywhere were not happy they were a thing to begin with.)

Look. I don’t know what it is about me that rubs people the wrong way. It’s just there. And I can’t change it.

And I just can’t summon the will to even care any more.

I think we should rent a dumpster.

Can someone come and install some bamboo flooring for me? I pay in baked goods, alcohol, and possibly handknits.

Sorry, she went to Costco.

I’ve still never set foot in a Costco. I am determined I never shall.

Why, yes. I should have the admin login.

I probably sealed my own tomb.

Why you so early, bus?

I probably do not need more Diet Dr. Pepper right now.

I am not the cream in your coffee.

It is still too early for Christmas music.

Dennis Quaid plays a very convincing drunk. Is he just drunk all the time in real life?

Well that ER chick is aging well. Weird that two ER chicks have shown up in shows I’m watching lately.

I just think someone should just pay me to sit at home and knit all day.

I’ve said that before.

I’m not sure what I’d use a branded packaging experience for, but thanks.

I think. But maybe no.

And now

and yet

and so

.

25 degrees is just too damn cold.

They sure do use a lot of sports analogies.

I think Bowe Bergdahl should have received prison time. His actions were directly responsible for the deaths of others. And I don’t care how much you dislike the president, letting Bergdahl off to send a message to him is inexcusable.

Yes, I would like some salmonella with my coffee, thanks.

I joke, but I eat my eggs sunny side up, so. There’s that.

Not a photo of people in blackface, yet somehow making a joke about giving blue people a free meal is the wrong response. Fucking ridiculous.

another damn staff meeting

But I took that picture before my pants were wet.

I can’t make people respond to my requests. I can only make the requests.

Bleah.

Stop making me share what I’m grateful for at a staff meeting. It’s not a therapy session and it’s not appropriate.

I’m trying not to cry. Just so you know.

Think I’ll take a break and knit some shit and watch some Suits and try to move on with my day.

Or I’ll just go ahead and sit here continuing to torture myself. Cos that’s what I do.

But once again, I don’t have any goals, and this will be a waste of time.

Let’s start over. What’s for lunch? I hope it comes with donuts.

Maybe I should get a cider.

Three things that make me happy: yarn, bats, hot apple cider.

I should put a picture in this locket.

In first grade I was morally outraged at a banner declaring Merry X-Mas! in my classroom and told my teacher it was sacrilegious. To this day I am astonished at her ability to refrain from laughing her ass off in front of her students.

oooooooooooooooooops

I for real used to completely love Kevin Spacey. Man.

I definitely need a Biggby. It will make me less sad. I hate being sad.

See? I don’t have to wash my tea mug every day!

I feel like I need to continue this tomorrow. When I’ll possibly be in a better frame of mind.

Gah. My hair feels gross.

Blatant misuse of quotation marks.

I just think Dean looks awfully tired this season. And I’m still really hating Sam’s hair this season.

Well that gives me a way to use those two hanks of Malabrigo.

Man. I’m glad I don’t work in the entertainment industry.

Back pay??? Bergdahl is entitled to back pay?????

Where can I get one of these chainsaw bayonets? It’ll be handy for the zombie apocalypse.

Oh good! Exactly what I needed! Another lanyard!

Sometimes I wonder if you can really picture my face as clearly as you need to when you read these posts.

I am totally Donna.

What do you think, should I go red for the winter?

I really needed to read this this week. Thanks, lady.

Gosh, I regret that I am not president too, Joey, but that’s worth about as much as my old VCR.

ARGH COME ON

I am not a fan of snow or Christmas, but Christmas just isn’t right without snow.

Stormageddon and I happened across this little guy on Instagram last night and fell in love.

But they can still open the drawers …

Why can’t I see comments on posts on FB any more??

I’m not sure that’s actually successful adulating …

Crap. I completely forgot about this massive waste of time called an hour and a half long meeting in another building.

Well damn. Suits is done for now. Go back and start Supernatural over again?

I don’t think Jerry Seinfeld is funny.

Whelp. Nothing’s gonna happen now.

I should prolly wash my hair.

At least the meeting gave me an excuse to swing by Biggby for a caramel apple cider.

No, really.

I need to swatch this cowl.

Stay out of the toothpaste!

I’ve never much cared for that guy anyway.

Yarn cakes for everyone!

Halloween is over. Sadness.

I don’t know that I’d ever get a tattoo on my hand. It seems like that’d be pretty painful. I would like a new tattoo though.

Maybe a new tattoo can be my reward to myself for achieving that thing that I’ve been working on for the last few weeks.

Probably not, though.

Dude. It’s not “Orwellian-like,” it’s just “Orwellian.”

Stop politicizing Halloween. Stop ruining everything.

Man I miss the 70s. And 80s. And some of the 90s.

Man. Now it’ll be nothing but Christmas Christmas Christmas til fricking January. SIGH.

I just read this article and feel like I walked in on the middle of a conversation and then quietly slipped away when I was not invited to join.

Evidently you’re supposed to click through to the original. I hate websites that do that. Very much.

Bleah. My cheeks and nose are wind burned from trick or treating. ouch.

Wow. He was joking about taking half her candy.

I am not a lineman for the county.

It must be exhausting to be so full of hate and rage all the time.

I really do not love Sammy Hagar.

I’m skullking.

Oh Dear God what if –

I wish they’d just call. Or email. Or SOMETHING.

This is driving me crazy.

You don’t actually get high from that. Just so you know.

Oh right. Cos we need yet another microbrew in Michigan. Whatever. Generate some cashflow for the economy.

Eh

I just don’t care for beer.

This is just plain awesome. Homeschool FTW.

Well, it’s simple, I’ll give you that.

Wait. What? How am I not in the system as a publisher for this damn thing?

Dammit!

I call bullshit.

One sleeve down, the second in progress. The end is in sight. I might be able to wear this sweater before the end of the year after all!!

Yes. The answer is “yes.” The answer is not “It SHOULD be this way blah blah blah.” The answer is “yes.”

I need to stop looking at the internet right now.

Or you could just ignore me and then shit won’t get done. That works too.

I should read, but I just can’t seem to get into anything lately.

Wow.

I’m pretty sure that doesn’t qualify as Nazi propaganda. Settle down.

COME ON.

So many phone calls.

I’m in completely the wrong frame of mind.

No, you can’t hang more than one flier in my building.

This is silly.

I am ridiculous.

I make a mean quiche.

Day after day after day after day …

yawn.

I think I’ll wait to poke the publish button for just a tiny while.

Oh God. The Christmassing has already begun. I can’t take it.

Take the survey. Ok. I guess.

I’m starting to think that she’s not going to publish that pattern.

I really don’t think it matters as long as you’re consistent.

Crap, I forgot about my tea.

Hello treadmill and Netflix.

They all start with W?

That’s not what I said.

363 days, 5 hours, 28 minutes, 17 seconds til halloween.

I get to skip the staff meeting to attend a different meeting. What a glorious day!

No, I’m being serious.

Yeah, pretty much me.

Yeah, thanks. Not especially interested in being fodder for your novel weird wannabe author dude.

On the other hand, I’d love to appear in one of my friend Marko’s novels. Or a Gaiman. Or a Nesbo. Or or or.

So many people with a savior complex lately.

I don’t need to be saved. I’m just not a people person.

I dreamed I was driving and driving. It was so real. And awful. I have no idea where I was going. I was probably dreaming about my commute. How depressing.

That’s incredibly poorly written.

Your email is entirely too long.

Pretty sure that whole “your argument is irrelevant” schtick is dead now. You can let it go.

I just went through the list asking “why am I friends with you?” and poking “unfriend” quite a lot. And it was good.

I am never going to finish reading this article and it’s time to admit defeat.

I have knit the body of this sweater two and a half times. As much as I hate sleeves, I’m dying to get to the sleeves.

I wish the water in this city didn’t taste so bad.

That should say it “reads” not “says.”

“And it seems to me a good way to encourage respect for the culture is to let the kid dress up as the character. When we can imagine ourselves as other people, we gain empathy for them.”

biting my tongue biting my tongue biting my tongue

OMG use regarding. Stop using in regards to. It’s just annoying as hell.

Yes, I am taking notes by hand at the web users group meeting. Unironically.

I typed gingers instead of fingers, which is a very very different thing, indeed. Cross all your gingers for me!

Aaaaaaand now I’ve burned my pinkie on my lunch.

I wish I had some chips.

Well, I guess you won’t have anyone to hold your hand any more.

It’s probably for the best.

a song a song a song

nervous. ugh. ugh.

ugh ugh ugh.

“Why does ever thing have to be about face! Can’t we just all get along?, seriously !, ugggg”

Well? Can’t we?

I really can’t remember the last time I wanted something this much.

Maybe yay?

Just because someone pays you to write for their blog doesn’t magically make you not a shitty writer.

The thing about the colored background for text on FB is that it makes everything meme-ish. Plus I have a hard time reading text on colored backgrounds, it bothers my eyes. I don’t know. I just don’t like the trend.

I like windows, but I do sit with my back to mine.

I hate this flippin’ chair.

I’m waiting to hear how allowing the government to use drones on domestic soil is a good idea.

“The best way to reenforce [sic] white cultural dominance is to make white culture the only one we can all share. Stop doing that.”

Wow. OK. That was a waste of a read.

Pack it up and drive it to the Compound, please.

Like I would say no to pizza. Ever.

Maybe they’ll have little pastries. They usually have little pastries.

I have a feeling they really wouldn’t have a problem with my Halloween wardrobe.

Why does everything have to take so bloody long???

You talk too much.

O_o

Shouldn’t this man be getting some kind of professional psychological help? Why would you do this to yourself? It’s horrifying.

Well? Am I???

I think my phone is watching me right now.

From what I understand, we just stole everything from everyone else.

Nope. Still don’t care about brioche stitch.

I really have to stop saying ugh.

I’m reasonably certain that you’re taking that way too literally, dude.

Still haven’t renewed my certification. I have until the end of November, right? I think. Maybe.

I need a donut.

I’m not very good with the waiting.

5 days, 4 hours, 17 minutes, 37 seconds til Haloween!!!!!