That’s quite a drive.

No grad school? I’m gonna figure out this whole A line skirt business. Dammit. And a whole list of other crap I need to get done that I would not have had time for.

Now on to sleeve city. whee.

Hey that’s a fingernail.

Hey that’s my fingernail.

I should finish this Jonathan Haidt book. I’ve only been reading it for two years. Ish.

Phrase I’m already thoroughly sick of: “take a knee,” and variations thereof.

OMG I just don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

People like this woman should probably seek professional psychiatric help. This level of attention seeking hysterical fear mongering is pathological.

Forget what I said about that house last week. I want this one.

Damn. There go my lunch plans. Now what.

No grad school … I should definitely write a book.

I guess I’ll get a sandwich.

This has been stuck in my head for days and I have no idea why.

OK, intrigued. Also helps that I have a ridiculous crush on Thomas Jane, despite his weird shoe thing.

Donuts!!! Thanks, Pop!

Well great. There’s a giant mess to clean up. Dammit. I don’t even know how the hell or what the hell even happened with this.

Well. There’s a plus anyway.

Statistics. SO helpful.

Dude. That is so lame. Tell me I get the free stuff then tell me just kidding it’s out of stock. Lame!

This is quite possibly the biggest knitting malfunction I have ever had. It’s salvageable, but so seriously a giant pain in the ass. Frustrating as hell, and my back is killing me from being hunched over these tiny tiny stitches.

In this shitty chair.

With my shitty posture.

Eat a donut, jentober.

I tried to read through it, but my eyes just immediately tried to close for to sleep.

Crap. crap crap crap. CRAP.

There is no way sailors in the U.S. Navy in 194whatever would have been allowed to have those beards. They really should have had clean shaven actors for that episode.

Look at this fancy empty notebook.

That spreadsheet is notable in how completely unhelpful it is. Thanks so much.

Slow ass, kinda unreliable way to kill somebody.

But what do I know?

Maybe I’ll just take the laptop home today. Work on this there. SINCE I DON’T HAVE ANY HOMEWORK!!!!!

looked just like him, but littler

“The United States Congress should pass a law requir-” Let me stop you right there.

I don’t encourage very many people to go to college.

Oh it was Order of the Good Death, not Death Salon.

I kind of wish I had some coffee right now. I don’t even know why.

I’m so happy it’s finally cooling down. I see you lurking, 80 degree day next week. You better not show your face.

I brought this sweater home, but I just don’t know if I have the energy to deal with this damn sleeve.

God I got sucked into FB scrolling for far too long there.

I don’t know why I comment. I should never comment.

Ready. To. Move. On. PLEASE.

I should have become a mechanic.

My next camera. Probably.

How do you want to be remembered?

That is definitely some fall light out there in the back 40.

Damn. My knee is not happy today at all.

OK. This sleeve is not going to knit itself. Alas.

Which I totally typed as Ransom Wednesday.

Which gives me ideas.

You may recognize that first photo from Tom Waits’ Ran Dogs album. If you’re a Waits fan, like myself.

It’s not my favorite Waits album, but it has one of my favorite Waits songs on it.

Spies? Spires? Who knows?

Gah this guy’s voice is so irritating. Chop off his head already.

I am just not feelin’ grad school at all, chickens. I don’t know if I have it in me.

I am just not built for this heat. WHERE IS MY FALL WEATHER?

I have always hated September. Also January. And March. Those are my three least favorite months.

Lunch with Pop.

wish i had a head for math so i could

That is some serious bullshit. Unfortunately it is also not remotely surprising.

Aw look at my tiny fridge! I should paint it to look like the TARDIS.

Cos I have that kind of time.

Or talent.

I prolly should just post this tomorrow.

Yes. Yes, that is wise.

My hair hurts.

Seems like it’d be hard to swim in those tails.

Also that video was making me dizzy.

Can someone bring me a Sweetwaters or a Dunkin donut and also a caramel apple cider from Biggby? Extra hot? With zip? I will love you forever and be your very best friend. Kthanksbye

Shut up, Outlook. I do not have two unread messages. Filthy liar.

Why still no eye roll response, FB? Are you afraid it’s the only one people will ever use?

Because you can never hear this enough times.

Who wants to take me to see the National in a few weeks? Anyone?

You could stop talking any time now, and it would be totally OK with me.

Ugh. Stomach. Ugh.

I always want to add an e to stomach. Stomache.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said that before.

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy

DIVERSITY OF THOUGHT, PEOPLE

That seems like an awfully personal question.

Bastard!

That does sound like a pretty awesome job, actually. I think I’d really enjoy that.

And now we wait.

Yes, I did just skip Evil Woman.

Sometimes a girl just is not in the mood.

I always answered the differently worded, but asking essentially the same thing, questions the same. That’s why I always get the “you’re an inhuman Vulcan with your crazy logic” result on those tests. The INTJ thinger thingies.

“[M]any respondents are making up their opinions – or at least editing and modifying them – as they go through the questionnaire.”

OK yeah. I’m totally OK with that. As far as ridiculous memes go.

Oh I love this house. Let’s pick it up and move it to the Compound. Of course some serious remodeling is in order. That kitchen is tiny and awful. And just say no to dropped ceilings, people.

Evidently I don’t know how to spell surveillance.

I need a cool necklace that I can wear every day that has a hidden camera in it. Can somebody help me out with that?

Here we go. I’d totally wear this watch necklace.  OK, no, it’s actually a bit larger than I’d prefer. I was thinking something more locket sized.

Yeah, I’m probably never going back.

Well maybe I am the Anti-Christ. In that case, I ought to be able to snap my bloody fingers and crush you all. Jerks.

“Tell me what you want to do …” No. Stop being so bossy. It’s none of your business, Outlook!

Yeah, that just seems messy. This is a bad idea.

I love my little fridge.

I need another power strip.

I wish Matt Berninger would cut his damn hair. He looks so much better with short hair.

How the hell did I end up with all these Combos, Allison? You want me to get fatter, don’t you?

now you’re messin with a

general chronic awareness

I do love a good poncho.

I don’t even know where that is.

I didn’t want to go to your stupid meeting anyway.

DEAR GOD stop making that noise. I may vomit.

I’m pretty sure that that is not a reliable test of IQ.

I don’t think anyone has ever called me striking before. So that was nice.

This is not as funny as I was hoping it would be at all.

OMG STAHP

OK. OK OK OK OK. I’ll just take my evil and go home.

There’s an archive photo for you.

Once again, forgot it was Wednesday til I woke up this morning.

At 4:10.

For the second day in a row.

Why is it legooms and not legyoums?

sarcastic pagoda

18 1 11

“Odessa. I tried to keep a clean house.”

I woke up to the sound of a hot air balloon that day.

I never believed that Diane really existed.

I can listen to Nebraska and love it every five or six years and completely hate it the rest of the time.

It’s no secret I didn’t vote for Trump, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t approve of some of the changes he’s making. This one, in particular, is one I’ve really been looking forward to. The ridiculously broad application of Title IX and the blatant denial of due process is infuriating. I’m happy to see it scaled back. Frankly, I think Title IX should be eliminated entirely.

Fancy Med School pen is actually cheap and has blue ink. Lame.

Trust me when I tell you that not everyone you meet is looking for a brief recitation of your current CV.

Literally no one cares.

The Bobbys are surly.

Hey. If a girl wants to serve a cup of coffee in a bikini, seems to me like that’s her business.

Oh God, it’s a staff meeting day.

Pray for my soul.

tiny tiny tiny stitches

magic vagina dust

Who are these people?

OFFS

I don’t understand whipped cream on waffles instead of syrup. Or even in addition to syrup.

Wait, did I read one of these already?

Why can’t I have a job in political theory? That’s my strong suit.

I don’t like data.

I LOVE almost all of Sleep Well Beast. It’s not as strong an album for me as High Violet or Alligator.

I know exactly what you’re talking about and I take zero responsibility for the total lack of communication on the part of your superstar. Instead of praising her and bashing us, perhaps you should be offerings some criticism her way as well.

I’m soooooooooooooo sleepy.

I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Stay home and out of the world.

Try to tell a funny story, get taken seriously. Retreat to cave.

Honestly. There is no reason for you not to have uploaded that reading yet. Come on.

I always read light housekeeper as lighthouse keeper.

Wow, I got all sidetracked and forgot I was doing this.

MOAR CAFFEINE

I could totally be elections boss for the state of Michigan. For reals.

el oh el

I love that show. It’s so awesome.

FINALLY

Don’t call it COTUS. That’s just weird.

I have no memory of this person.

I ain’t no

Adult beverages, food, politics. T-minus 29 minutes.

Copy editor at CATO? That’s like a dream job. I bet it pays crap and I’d have to move to D.C.

Excuse me while I cry a little.

Sorry, Knit Stars is just a little too spendy for me.

Also I’m all faded and speckled out. Also brioched. I’m ready for the new trend, thanks.

Are you gone yet? Can I lock this door now?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with Johnnie Walker.

I’m reasonably certain custodial is going to lock me in the office again.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA

OK, I’m in.

I read that as “Locally purchase. Even dry.” That is not what it said.

This guy is a loon. And clearly not capable of complex or nuanced thought. Or any kind of logic.

I still don’t get that one.

What the hell, bus?

OMG Stop saying “fair enough” to everything. You literally just used it 3 times in under a minute. Stop the insanity.

You are a grown ass man. Stop saying “for funsies.”

What a ridiculously busy morning. Sheesh.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy are people so loud?

And now we wait.

Nice try, dude. But I’m not going to do it for you.

Just so you know, I am not actually your personal secretary, and I cannot actually make your students read their emails OR the course catalog.

It’s on page two.

It is, indeed, a bold move.

Photo credit: God.

I think this scanner thing is dying on me. Because why not?

Wait. Is she wearing mascara? She’s like 10!

ARGH. Is it going to bloody rain or not?

Is that a no?

the ghost in you she cuts you up in the silence of your room

The little I saw of that Caitlin Jenner interview with Norm Macdonald was really interesting.

I would run out of glitter really fast.

STOP SLEEPING ON THE BUS.

I’m actually looking forward to an entire day of brain probing Friday. Because it is not here.

Wh. H. How. How is that even possible??

Do you want all these coupons?

Well that’s a ridiculous argument.

Why do I have to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life? Why is that even a thing?

I was going to share a really funny thing with you, but the link only seems to work on my phone. So I won’t.

Yes, pizza. Duh.

No mail. Sadness.

Why are you so bossy? It makes me not want to help you.

want to

I can’t get this stupid app to take this stupid coupon code. Stupid.

I wonder if she’s ever going to

No more mimosas for you, missy.

Why do I have to tell the QuickTime updater thingie to close 47 times before it actually does?

where is my mind. where. is.

It’s not “Trump’s America.” It wasn’t “Obama’s America” and it wasn’t “Bush’s America” and it wasn’t any other president’s America. It’s OUR America. And the sooner everybody starts taking responsibility for their contribution to OUR America, the better. Grow the hell up.

Whatever. I knit in public all the time.

Oh France. Bless your heart.

My bangs are only the perfect length for about two weeks. The rest of the time they’re either too short or too long.

I’m reasonably certain I’d have a good 25% less head pain if you’d just stop trying to hide the fact that you’re a smoker by dousing yourself in cheap ass perfume that everyone thinks is stinky anyway.

I hate Doppelcooper’s hair.

I wish this was a real book.

“These days, being called a white supremacist” is only different from being called a witch in that they don’t even bother dunking you in the river before declaring you guilty.”

Bitches about “anti-intellectualism,” uses tenant when he means tenet.

I really only ever wanted to be one of the cool kids. And that’s just never gonna happen.

I wish I were more likeable, but I’m just not.

I need to quit the internet.

I am not even looking at you right now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RED!!!!!!!!

What? It’s a very menacing hand dryer.

Perfect score on the Norwegian American quiz. Duh.

It’s like watching a live action bobble head. Jesus.

I just cannot.

I’ve unsubscribed from so many emails in the last week. It’s awesome. I need to do more.

And THIS RIGHT HERE is why I need departments to notify me of the gorram CRNs they assign to us. So we can avoid these exact problems.

Thanks so much for adding an extra 30 minutes to Stormageddon’s bus ride every day. P.S. I hate you.

I’m so cantankerous.

And also unlikeable.

One complication after another.

I need more dental floss.

I am going to read this book on campus censorship and wave the white flag until the universe stops kicking me.

Thanks, Facebook. I know how unfriending works.

Yes, and that message is “Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.”

I don’t even know how to respond to you. Obviously I wouldn’t have said anything if I couldn’t smell it.

I just don’t think anyone would even notice if I did.

I don’t even know who Joel Osteen is.

Linda Sarsour, on the other hand. Still a despicable human being.

Why am I hungry? I really don’t think I should be hungry right now.

Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day.

I like stories like this. He’s a good egg.

You see what happens? You try to be nice to someone and it just blows up in your face.

I CAN’T HUMAN.

That’s when you kick them out of the house and lock the door. Then go back in 30 minutes to see if anyone needs stitches.

Hashtag Mom of the Year

I miss you, Rollinghead. Also I miss my Daddyhorse CD, which I cannot find anywhere, and that makes me very sad.

Also I was at that show. That was a great show.

I think Exec Ass is hilarious. You should just leave the T off Asst and go with it. I wonder if anyone would even notice.

Today has been stupid and I need to GTFOI.

JDLR

“It ain’t all burritos and strippers, my friend.”

I am well and truly trapped here for the duration. SIGH.

Copy-editing PDFs is a pain in the ass.

Pamela Anderson looks pretty fantastic without all that make up.

Honestly. Who thinks lemonade and cookies taste good together? How is this a thing?

“Which fictional antihero is your soul mate?” Batman.

Well duh. I didn’t need an internet quiz to tell me that.

“The speakers on the Common bandstand were kept from being heard. They were blocked off with a 225-foot buffer zone, segregated beyond earshot. Police barred anyone from approaching to hear what the rally speakers had to say. Reporters were excluded, too. Result? The free-speech rally took place in a virtual cone of silence. Participants ‘spoke essentially to themselves for about 50 minutes,’ the Globe reported. ‘If any of them said anything provocative, the massive crowd did not hear it.'”

carpet cleaning.

splitting headache.

two hour Mediasite training.

and now my phone has kicked the bucket.

sigh.

Wait, I’m the only one registered for this workshop AGAIN?

more sigh.

I’m fucking cursed.

I give up.

I wish it were raining.

I wish it was.

OK. Moving on. Sorry, it was just this sort of hurricane of crap all of a sudden.

I WILL NOT LET THIS STUPID DAY DEFEAT ME!

I have the Kitchens of Distinction stuck in my head now.

Hey Mediasite training was only 15 minutes. Guess I’m super glad I was the only one registered. I got the info I needed and we were done. There’s a bright spot in this craptastic day.

I’m going to Dr. Hooks now.

Great. No one has pay phones any more. I had to borrow a credit union’s Google because Dr. Hooks moved and I didn’t know it.

I deserved a Den Pop. I stopped.

Fucking day.

Unrelenting pain.

“The road to hell is paved with reasonable exceptions.”

Just when you start to think good things about the ACLU …

Some pretty powerful images.

I’ve never actually considered Joss Whedon to be a feminist. And despite my love of his work, I have long considered him to be an asshole.

Well duh it’s Darcy. Like any other Austen fellow would be my man.

These internet quizzes. Sheesh.

Wow. That whole letter was, “We all have the right to free speech. Except these people. These people best shut the fuck up.” Progressive fascism, alive and well.

“Someone, somewhere, is always getting mad about everything.” Pretty much.

Total lack of self awareness.

This is fantastic and I love it.

Pink had another baby?

Look, I’d love to buy that super cute skirt, but I just can’t right now.

Google has already shipped my replacement phone! Yay!

Here’s what you’re not getting – this is all extraneous information that the vendor neither needs nor cares about. Why are you even here?

Ha.

Oh, right. I’m having breakfast for dinner. I decided this ten minutes ago and then completely forgot it.

This day, man.

Dammit. Why didn’t I write this down? I have no memory of what I did.

How fun!

Boy, Humphrey Bogart sure was a handsome man.

Dinosaurs!

Oh these are awesome.

Whatever cop shot that tear gas canister totally hit that dude in the balls on purpose, and I think it’s frigging hilarious.

OK. What is all the damn screaming about now?

Wait. I wasn’t ready for that.

I PUT THE TEN BUCKS IN THE EGG JAR.

Fill up the shopping cart with yarn. X the tab. Sigh. I wanna do the hipster knit along though. Despite the name. Even though it’s s’posed to be funny. I think. Sigh.

Worth reading. Wish I felt like I could share it widely.

What the hell is indecent assault?

Who among us does not need one of these, ladies?

Yep.

hashtag virtue signal

Do we have to call it “training”? Can’t we just call it what it is? Re-education. Indoctrination.

It’s been a minute since I’ve felt this level of visceral hatred for this place and these people. But holy shit. It hit me hard today.

There is a direct correlation between my pain level and this place.

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

This Tylenol isn’t going to help. I don’t know why I bother.

Well I didn’t want to talk to you either.

I think asking me to stop referring to my husband as my “husband” is disrespectful of our preferences. I don’t want any part of your agenda.

Why won’t you let me leave you alone?

I have so little to say today. There’s nothing in my head today. The  pain is drowning out my thoughts.

I don’t actually like Star Wars. There. I said it.

I don’t like Game of Thrones either.

If you take a job as a delivery person for a business whose customer base is primarily on campus, you probably ought to familiarize yourself with campus.

This course is stupid.

I hate everything this week.

Almost everything.

Um. Strangling someone with your bare hands doesn’t really qualify as an “accident, I didn’t mean to do it.”

I have integrity coming out of my ears, I tells ya!

I’ve been trying to read this article for two days.

Darn. I was kind of looking forward to getting out of here for a minute. Especially because East Campus is my favorite. I wish I worked over there.

Maybe my school will need a me soon. My school is over there. Public Affairs.

Yeah. Right.

The only solution is more caffeine.

Unless it’s less caffeine.

I keep checking and there is just a whole lot of nothing.

Why don’t we just go ahead and tear down all the statues. No statues anywhere. That way no one is ever offended.

Except the people who are offended that there are no statues.

I guess there’s no pleasing everyone.

Sorry, but waving a Nazi flag, as disgusting as that may be, is not the equivalent of incitement. It’s free speech. Just like waving the communist flag is free speech. Waving the American flag is free speech. Free speech is free speech. Either support it or forever shut the fuck up about anything you believe in.

This is among the dumber things I’ve seen today.

‘Speech that demeans on the basis of race, ethnicity, gender, religion, age, disability, or any other similar ground is hateful; but the proudest boast of our free speech jurisprudence is that we protect the freedom to express the thought that we hate.”’

ALSO

“A law found to discriminate based on viewpoint is an egregious form of content discrimination,” which is presumptively unconstitutional.” … A law that can be directed against speech found offensive to some portion of the public can be turned against minority and dissenting views to the detriment of all. The First Amendment does not entrust that power to the government’s benevolence. Instead, our reliance must be on the substantial safeguards of free and open discussion in a democratic society.”

Wow. I’m cranky.

Just to be clear, I hate Nazis just as much as you do. So don’t go reading anything into what I’m posting here. Don’t be that asshole.

I can’t smell that God awful air freshener if I hold my head at an uncomfortable angle in my cube. Yay.

Y.A.Y.

working working working

I wish I had a Den pop.

And millions and millions and millions of dollars.

Doll hairs.

Dolls are creepy.

I wish the openable part of my window was larger. I could use more of that breeze blowing through here.

I should have worn my glasses instead of contacts again today.

Way to follow directions, kid. Bravo.

Gaaaaah why don’t they do something better with Erin’s hair? She’s so pretty and her hair is so blah. It’s so dry and the color is weird and it’s all flat and listless. I feel sorry for her.

Damn. I thought it was about 25 minutes later than it is. That super sucks.

I want it back.

I can’t help it if I sigh a lot. I quite often feel like I need a big gulp of air. It’s not attitude. It’s survival.

DON’T YOU WANT ME TO LIVE???

Jerk.

just kidding.

I feel like crap.

The only thing they seem to be doing to these roads is laying down layer upon layer of gravel. It’s frigging annoying.

Does anyone else hate Tammy?

Seriously. When did SPAM get so weird?

I don’t know how I did not know this beautiful thing existed, but clearly I need a membership.

How is it that I can’t keep an air plant alive? How is that even possible?

At least my children are still breathing.

I know this makes me some kind of heretic or something, but I really just don’t think I like Felicia Day.

It’s Monday right now. Still feeling craptastic. How is it even possible for a human being to be this tired?

Yeah, still can’t stand Wil Wheaton either. He seriously creeps me out. Also, how is it that he can look that thoroughly smug 24 hours a day? It’s like he had his face surgically altered to reflect his belief that he is inherently superior to the rest of mankind.

Also that beard is awful.

I may not live through CPR recertification this week.

I’m gonna have that damn Stones song stuck in my head for the rest of my life now.

Pardon me, but I believe that is my lung.

The room with all the leaves.

Wow. That is not what I expected to see. Horrifyingly hilarious.

This Diet Pepsi is deeply disappointing my taste buds right now.

Now it’s Tuesday. It’s like Random Wednesday – Extended Dance Mix or something.

I, too, would love to walk my children out to our garden each morning and watch with my quiet perfect mom joy as they choose their own vegetables for their healthy organic breakfast smoothie, Genevieve Padalecki, except that the only people who live that ridiculous reality are ridiculously rich famous moms (and I bet half of you are lying). The rest of us are lucky if we can get them to eat a vegetable once a year.

But maybe that’s just me.

Lifestyle blogs kill me. Your lifestyle would drive me batty.

Fit all columns on one page.

You are far too preachy for me, thanks.

No, I don’t need something, thank you.

I’m 100% sure that that will not solve the problem. But that’s none of my business.

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

Go ahead, pad your numbers. I care not a whit!

Sorry, I am exempt from your voluntelling me to help with this.

And now it’s Wednesday again. Back where we started. Well.

And now I have four bloody hours of CPR/AED re-certification. How the hell does it take four hours to RE-certify??

I seriously don’t remember my original certification even taking that long.

…

Wow, that really took four whole hours. On the plus, it did not seem to drag. And now I can totally save your life. Or your kid’s life. Or your baby’s life. Probably.

I’ve sent you that list at least once already. Come on now.

“Cisgendered .. It’s a way of marginalizing a normal person.”

For as many days as this has stretched out, there is not that much here.

Where is my sammich?

I love the theme music to Poldark. I love any theme music that is primarily violin. Millennium. Angel. It’s all so poignant and melancholy and a little dark but just an eensy bit hopeful.

Man I miss Millennium.

And also Angel.

Only have to

Written in my own heart’s blood with a chainsaw.

Hang on, Frances!

Dammit!

I bloody knew as soon as he started turning his life around that they were going to kill him off.

They’ve just had the exact, almost verbatim conversation, 5 times in the last 10 minutes. I’m not even kidding.

If I was a famous lady, I’d have Hogan McLaughlin design all my red carpet rags. Swoon.

I need a Fringe Porter Bin. Army Green.

Gah. I need two extra days off for this crap.

I had started reading this woman’s article quite a while back, got distracted, never finished, and lost it. It suddenly popped up again, so I’m sharing.

OK, I’m hanging it up.

FOREVER.

just kidding.

It’s 10:30 and I haven’t written a word.

In my defense I was in the longest staff meeting EVER.

That Jody Allard woman? She is a monster. My heart hurts so much for her sons. Those poor boys.

And just like that I feel like watching the Kevin Costner Robin Hood again. So weird.

don’t look to a stranger

I wish I knew shorthand.

I thought that said “Lonely Knits for Little Girls”. That is not what it said.

I think I hate you, Windows 10.

This is an incredible house if you can get past all the creepy MANNEQUINS.

I want a witch window!

I’m sorry, Canadia. Normally I stay outta your bidness, but this really bothers me.

“These kids today with their texting and murder.”

Goodreads? Why the HELL would I be subscribed to the ROMANCE newsletter???

I’m reasonably certain I did not ask for that.

I kinda feel like going to Old Goat for lunch.

I wish Pop was here for lunch.

I don’t think I need any more stationery, but thanks.

Huh. I do this all the time. Well not all the time. But a lot. If you could see my Flickr account, you’d know that.

I don’t know how you expect me to remember a login I only use once a year.

My unicorn is broken. Sadness.

I don’t think I’ve ever used the word dossier in conversation before.

Thanks for completely ruining the clone stamp and healing brush Photoshop.

Wow. This stupid Windows 10 machine just rebooted without my permission, and I thought for sure I’d lost every word of this. I did not. Yay!

If I had, you’d have no Random today.

That lunch was definitely not at all adequate.

colloboration

I don’t know if I can talk to you ever gain. You just used the phrase “me and bae”.

I should probably make an appointment with my neurologist.

I don’t really like my neurologist.

I’m 99% sure he’s a high functioning sociopath. Like I’d be willing to put money on it.

Not my neurologist. He can barely speak human.

I think I just ran out of fucks about today. It’s possible.

Now I feel like I need to read this Hillbilly Elegy and I don’t even know what the hell it’s about.

I like those thingers.

What is this one? CS6? No CC 2017. I’ve never used that one.

What a snoozefest.

You might want to consider a diet plan of some kind. You’re going to have a stroke or a heart attack or something.

I don’t pay any attention to that stuff and my cholesterol is just fine.

I did not go to Old Goat for lunch.

It never rained today. It was supposed to rain today.

It literally started raining as I hit enter on that sentence. I’m magic.

Even better than ads on Instagram? Telling Instagram three frigging times that a particular ad is not relevant to me and they still run it in my feed.

You’ve ruined Instagram! RUINED.

*sob*

I wonder if famous people get ad free Instagram. Like that’s an option if you have a “verified account” or something. I would pay a subscription rate to get rid of the ads. Instagram is my zen. These ads are really messing with my whole process of getting my head back to something resembling smoothness.

What? I said resembling.

Yes. Yes, this is going to turn into a full on migraine.

almost blue, almost doin’ things we

A cactus seemed appropriate.

Here’s an old photo for you, since I failed to find a photo for this week.

I forgot about some things.

I very nearly forgot today is Wednesday.

I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a spiral escalator.

Um. Guys? An apple “farm” is called an orchard. Who wrote this??

I don’t want to pay 3 bux an episode to watch season 3 of Broadchurch. Just stick it on Netflix already.

Wow, that is foul.

I’m having one of those periods when I feel like I’ve just utterly run out of things to say.

Not that kind of period. Period of time.

It’s just you.

Seems like nobody’s talking to me lately.

Who the hell is Riley Dennis?

Of all the things happening in the world today, I find it endlessly hilarious that this campus is making national news because of goats.

Thanks for destroying my Instagram zen with the sudden bombardment of ads every three photos, you bastards.

Well. I don’t know how “fun” that was, but OK.

I am waaaaaaaaay too sleepy for the meeting I have this afternoon. No idea how I’m going to pull this off.

My hair is nothing but frizz today. Would it have really killed the universe to allow me a good hair day today?

At least we still

Huh. These are some interesting purchases. That’d be a handy booklight if I didn’t have to plug it into a USB port.

I should not be able to hear you crunching on that all the way over here.

If hearing is my superpower, it’s a sucky super power.

It’s so humid in here I’m sticking to my desk.

I’d rather have a sticker than a window cling. My windows are tinted. No one can see this thing.

It’s slightly different.

I need a shawl I can knit and not pay attention to.

Actually, I imagine I’ll be cranking out shawls like crazy again once the semester starts. I can’t read and not do anything with my hands.

I need some lucky rocket ship underpants.

Look at this fancy new hoodie. Whee.

Those people are constantly sending emails with broken links. You’d think they’d catch on by now.

Drop cloth = run. Check.

Still waiting for the nerves to hit, but mostly feeling pretty zen, really.

drawring

It’s nice that you designers can work with yarn companies to write patterns for TWENTY EIGHT DOLLAR A SKEIN yarn. Us little people can’t afford that kind of foolishness.

Don’t stand a chance.

I think she forgot. It’s possible.

I could use a snack.

Wow. That email confused the hell out of me.

Who says “notepad paper”?

I’m purposely trying to be less speedy. It’s a conscious decision.

Add lots of exclamation points. People will think you’re very happy. No one has to know that it’s a lie.

Sheesh. I have like 437 Word docs open.

I need to start planning the Christmas card.

I need to come up with my Halloween costume.

I need a vacation.

I. Need. A. Vacation.