If you look at me like I’m a crazy person for wearing a costume to work on Halloween, I’d better not see you in a holiday sweater come Christmas.

Also, you’re completely lame and have no joy.

Holy wow! I didn’t listen to the audio, but what an amazing thing.

It’s not looking good for having this out to you before Friday. This week is the very definition of insanity.

and i’m gonna

Oh boy. I hope you’re not getting sick.

Way to go, Bill Weld, you asshat.

Oh look at this lovely sandwich!

Today is not the day for tomatoes.

That entire email from Amazon featured my friend Marko. So neat!

There’s no there there.

I might be considered an adult. In some circles.

cos i’ll miss you when you’re gone

I don’t think you’re going to be able to pull up to the back door. They appear to be planting bushes in the dark.

anarchonistic

Great. Now I’m getting sick. Because I have time for that foolishness.

If you didn’t ask questions yesterday, you have no business asking questions today.

Yeah, I still don’t really get the whole Hamilton thing.

atleastihavetomwaitsworkinforme

As a political scientist, I find the number of my liberal friends who report nightmares about Trump winning the election, which is not an inconsiderable figure, juxtaposed with the number of my conservative friends who appear to have no such (reported) nightmares about a Clinton win, endlessly fascinating. I myself never dream about politics at all. You’re all beautiful humans and you worry too much.

I should have gone into political psychology.

I might be the only human who does not actually care about the Cubs winning.

Why do I always want to add an e to hours?

I don’t wanna be sick. *sob*

I just wanted to

It’s astonishing how much time that whole thing has eaten up. And there’s still more to do. le sigh.

I haven’t done this much typing in years.

That’s how we did used to do things, and no one told me we’d stopped.

I’m pretty sure I’m death right now.

Argh. I dismissed you already.

I hate you, Outlook.

I think I forgot to put deodorant on this morning.

Oh look. A delicious donut.

Holy unprofessional move, Batman. What the actual hell.

Space is limited so act now!

I’m sort of hungry. I guess.

I’m reasonably certain that your tone is entirely out of line.

OK I seriously just hit the wall. I don’t even know what I’m even doing right now. Even.

and i’ll miss you when you’re gone

I’ma hit publish before I go home. You’re welcome.

I wish I had had time to work on that paper this week. Now I’ll have to work on it Sunday. I would rather have done it when it was all fresh.

I typed dresh.

WTF truck. W. T. F.

I have no idea what this even means.

but it’s the only

I’m going to be honest with you. I didn’t even realize it was Wednesday until about half an hour after I got up this morning.

You have got to be effing kidding me. Straight up nuthouse.

I seriously need to just be a stay at home mom. Pretty much now.

I just want sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. Now.

I love this idea. Wouldn’t that be beautiful? I also love the typo transforming cremation into creation.

But what if I think you look really cute today?

dumb

The geekery perpetually smells like wet wool. I’m mostly OK with that.

Yep. Pretty much. Also I’ll keep right on watching them.

You’ll be needing a picture.

I’ll be needing a picture.

The importance of pictures.

All your talk of sustainability is ironic considering the amount of paper you consume on a daily basis.

all wrong, we were

I don’t think that La Croix stuff is particularly tasty at all.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Yeah I’ve barely touched this. It’s kind of surprising how busy I’ve been today.

God. I’m boring even myself.

I just remembered hamster dance.

do do do da do do doh doh

Had a moment of panic when I thought I missed a meeting. Not that I actually had any desire to attend the meeting at all. But still.

Ha. Gary Johnson robot left me a funny voicemail.

Seems like an odd direction to go, but OK. Sure.

Don’t be sad. I disappoint myself too. We’ll all live.

“Hi, this is Governor Gary Johnson, and this is also a recording. Sorry about that.”

What. No. I am not ready for snow. No no no no no. Nope. Just no.

Well then stop texting me.

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to have a glass of iced coffee right now. Else I might drift off.

Oh wait. Tea actually sounds better. A nice hot cuppa.

And waffles. Tea and waffles. Tea and waffles are a perfectly respectable dinner.

What the hell is going on with my rear facing camera on this phone?

All the flies and ticks are coming inside because it’s getting cold. Evidently they didn’t get the memo that I am refusing to turn the heat on in the house.

Sweet zombie Jesus that’s an ear piercer.

Crap. I have no idea which Halloweeny thing to wear tomorrow.

Nope. Guess the tent was a bad idea. Better put it back in hiding for another 6 months.

What in God’s name are we listening to? Dear Lord.

Hey. Get off the macaroni and cheese.

I almost forgot the picture.

That won’t do at all.

I won’t turn the heat on. I won’t turn the heat on. I won’t turn the heat on. I won’t.

axiomatic

But I wanted to find the hidden vampires.

I don’t know if I am going to be able to watch that particular season of American Horror Story.

I’m going to be needing some migraine drugs.

Gosh I love him. And if I met him, I don’t even know what I’d say except, “Gosh, I just love you. Let’s go take pictures together.”

I don’t understand people who include their email address in their email signature.

OK, I’d like to do this before I die, please and thank you. WOW.

“I don’t even remember that Canadian bobble head guy.”

Yeah, I don’t think “staycation” means what you think it means.

Well, OK, but I’m not an oral surgeon.

It’s too loud in here today. I can’t focus on a damn thing.

How do I still not have the Spock Barbie?

contrarian

Yeah, you don’t have to apologize for that. At all.

Scotch. Scotch would work. Or a hard cider maybe. Yeah.

OMG STOP TALKING!!!

Well. That was not on the agenda for today. Dammit.

Look. I don’t know how you can possibly expect me not to be bitter or resentful. That shit is 100% wrong. There is no other way to see it.

I don’t see any reason for you to be giving me errors every single time I use you, Adobe.

Why does everybody always seem to want to make me do absolutely everything twice?

I should have been an efficiency expert.

I’m rethinking this whole grad school thing. Seriously.

I had no idea David Duchovny was writing novels. Also I’ve been watching him in Aquarius on Netflix and he looks much better than he did in the new X-Files. I’m back to thinking he’s hot. Except that hair cut. That hair cut is not doing him any favors.

Oh good! This must be the part where the new person tells me how to do my job! My favorite!

I’m having border woes. Not that kind. The knitting kind.

Clearly I’m going to be needing this book.

Where does she even get that number?

New plan: Become an oligarch.

OMG STOP TALKING!!!

You’d think I’d’ve written more having had this thing open for two days. Instead I keep fielding curve balls.

Well. Good luck with that.

You know, you could have just said “on all of the entrances.” You should try to be more economical with your words.

I really should have shared a less embarrassing photo of me in that sweater. In retrospect.

Internet problems. Most unexpected.

Fine. I surrender. Whatever.

I have that stupid Thomas the Tank Engine theme stuck in my head.

Do do do do do do doooo doooooooo. Doodleoodledoo. Doodleoodledoo.

Happy Anniversary, Old Man.

So sorry I’ve been taking up so much rent-free space in your brain. You should work on being less bitter. You’ll live longer.

Shit. I’ve got to get this grading done so I can get midterm grades done. Guess I know what I’ll be doing this weekend. Whee.

Grades are dumb.

I thought that said “The Touch of Stan”. It wasn’t Stan.

Trying to figure out how Amazon sorted “Holocaust: A History” into the “Engineering books” category …

Hey guys, please stop polishing one fingernail pink. That’d be great.

Duh. Of *course* Elizabeth. Which other Bennett sister could I possibly be??

This is fun. I saw a couple of vintage Halloween dresses in there I’d LOVE to own.

Ha. I love this shirt.

What?! No one told me season 11 of Supernatural was on Netflix already!!!

I thought “Surely that’s Photoshopped and she didn’t actually say that, because English.” But no. She did. And I lolled and lolled.

Which US president are you? Ronald Reagan. You have a demeanor that some find warm and fatherly. But others find you distant. At times it seems you get by on charm alone. You’re no deep thinker, but you understand that common sense is what matters most.

I think I might be a little offended by the “you’re no deep thinker” part of that description.

But that’s hilarious.

My head is killing me today. I’d been having a pretty good run. I’m kind of bummed right now.

This is starting to be a lot harder than I had expected it to be.

Today has been busier than planned.

Why yes, I will take the spring semester off to teach two sections of my class, thank you very much.

Oh look at this cute little flip book thinger. Hopefully this will ease some of our woe.

I love you, Garden Herb Triscuits.

I see the rain is holding off until it’s time for me to walk to my truck. Thanks so much for that.

#1 a nice safe
#2 gold and/or ammo

Right right right right right. No paycheck there. So. You know. You get what you pay for, I guess.

Wait. Is Mike Rowe living on a boat?

update update update update update update update update update

The only real question now is: The bats or the skeleton tomorrow?

Don’t worry. We’re doing a new anniversary pic. We just didn’t have time to get to it last weekend.

I think bats. Yes. Bats.

Thank YOU.

That does not even make sense.

I can’t believe this is the last Hollows book. I’m so sad.

I’ve always wanted to be Harley Quinn for Halloween. The animated series Harley Quinn. Not Suicide Squad Harley Quinn.

And when I say “always” I mean since 1993ish when the series came out.

Just let me know what we’re doing so I can prepare.

So. Tired.

Two 15 hour days in a row. Messed me up completely.

“Learn English in your native language.” But.

Oh wait. I can see where that might actually be a good idea for some native English speakers, now that I think about it.

Yep. I generally hate the whole world when I’m that pregnant too.

So. I get to do what I want, basically. Sweet.

OK. I’m sitting here staring at Flat Eartha Kitt. I’m cooked.

Every time I try to type waitlisted I type weightlisted. It’s probably Freudian or something.

I don’t know.

Me: “This song was popular when I was in middle school.”
W: “Really? (listens) Yeah. It does sound kind of old.”

I’m procrastinating like it’s my job right now. This is not good.

Awww! I need a little chicken necklace!!

Wait. How do I have no memory of Kurt Cobain with a goatee?

I love a good period drama full of unrequited love.

Bottle flipping is a thing?

Conversation between 2 of the morning guys on the local radio station about Elvis after playing a minute or so of Suspicious Minds:
DJ one: You know, Elvis’ songs like Hound Dog and those things are more popular but I really prefer his older stuff like this one.
DJ two: I have to agree with you, I am really not a big Elvis fan, but I have a real soft spot for his earlier work, like the gospel stuff and Suspicious Minds.
Hound Dog was released in 1957. Suspicious Minds was released in 1969. I guess it’s a good thing it’s a talk radio station.

Damn you Poldark! That was a monstrously awful thing to do. I hate you.

Wait. What?? I can’t stream season two? I hate you Amazon!

Also? I may or may not have recently realized that I have become Aidan Turner’s twin with this hair cut. Or at least his hot older sister.

No, I think that merits its own post entirely. Never mind.

So. Much. Yes.

This apple fritter is not bringing  me apple joy.

I’ve never had a joke fall flatter. Wow.

I hope something changes soon. Everyone is so grumpy this semester. It’s starting to wear on me.

I’m having a great deal of difficulty answering this question.

I hate to break it to you, but not everything is actually epic.

OK I don’t actually understand how LinkedIn works. I’m not even really sure why I’m there.

Wow. That is one of the odder things to happen to me in my professional life I guess.

“Gov Johnson might come, but that’s remote.” How bout we make it less remote? He really should make a stop here.

And just like that.

Wow, it’s all gloomy and doomy outside all of a sudden! Yay!

I’m not only happy when it rains, but I’m definitely happier.

What.

I don’t know. I guess I don’t have much to say at the moment.

Initiative is a really hard word to type.

“15 Most Evil Serial Killers”? Aren’t they all just, you know, EVIL? There are varying degrees of evil??

OMG YOU’RE SO GROSS.

Oh man. I forgot we had the donuts.

Hey Red! Poke PUBLISH.

I dunno. I could totally just go to sleep right now.

I love you, apple cider.

I guess I’m slightly less evil than some, but decidedly more evil than some others.

You know. Now that I think about it.

Nobody in my family gets food on their back!

Someone I admire messaged me to tell me she liked my damn hell bathrooms?! Day made.

Wow, these kids are loud. L.O.U.D.

loud

I have no idea what I’m wearing tomorrow.

I have no idea what I’m doing right now.

I was going to give you a new photo, but this one came up when I was looking for something else. I can’t even remember what I was looking for. Anyway, I realized I still really kind of love this one, so I’m sharing again.

I need more tattoos.

Well. Maybe just one.

My Patronus is a frigging cat. I hate cats. Thanks J.L. Rowling.

People asked me to bring this bloody shirt back, so I did, and not a single soul has bought a single damn shirt. Come on. And here it is, a week later and no one ever bought one and the campaign failed. I’m never bringing this shirt back again.

I just wrote “Capitalism led to yet another form of capitalism.”

Where is my mind?

It’s just as well, really. Just as well.

I feel so behind. I’m maybe a little behind. But not nearly as behind as I feel. It’s kind of weird.

That’s just about the whitest Facebook status update I have ever read. Not to mention the fact that it sent the hipster gauge right off the flipping charts.

I simply cannot find the motivation to grade these assignments.

Of course I am on vacation.

Suggestions based on the fact that I watched Supernatural: Grey’s Anatomy. Um. OK. Who wrote that algorithm??

“I’ve been educating myself on ferns. I feel like I need to get to know them better.”

Technical nightmares all over the damn place. Stupid Mediasite.

I am having trouble with this figure 8 cast on. I think I need to wait and do it magic loop. I’d start it now, but evidently, my size 7 needle tips are in use on a WIP at home. le sigh.

I think I need to block out all this noise somehow. I cannot focus. It’s total chaos.

This needs to be available for Android, thank you.

“Why is so much wedding stuff riddled with stupid rhymes?? ”

OK! Let’s go!

“I’m not gonna lie to you, ma’am. I did not understand a word you just said.”

I teach an online course. I’m reasonably certain that the fire safety training does not apply.

Stop sending me shit via my.sharepoint. It doesn’t bloody work properly.

“Bless your heart” has a very different meaning in Michigan than it does in the south.

I need to get a Ph.D. just so these students will stop calling me Mrs. I’ve never gone by Mrs.

I was feeling like since this is a week overdue you should be getting more for your money. But then I remembered that you aren’t paying me.

My record for not finding a petoskey stone in the wild remains unbroken.

I think this is a lovely story.

This week is making me very sad.

She said plebeian but she pronounced it plea-be-ahn. It’s pleh-beahn.

Huh. I never would have guessed Paige. I thought for sure Piper.

These pages keep popping up in my FB feed lately that I haven’t seen in so long I don’t even remember liking them in the first place.

“Never re-enter a building until instructed to do so by an official police or fire  ……… person.”

OK. Thoroughly sick of the word “intersectionality” at this point.

What. I need to own this book. Obviously.

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ooooooooooooooo

ooooooo

ooo

o

Quest bar for lunch it is then.

I have to enter it manually. Not absolutely everything is connected. I know that’s hard to believe.

I guess people like my Instagram feed a lot more when I’m traveling. I guess I can’t really blame them. I’m horribly dull when I’m at home.

I’m horribly dull when I’m not at home.

You can be angry at me all you want, but you’re the one who missed the deadline and you were told you’d get a zero.

It doesn’t really seem like I have too many desk toys until it’s time to dust my desk. Stop falling over Funko Pop! Allison Reynolds! You’re drunk!

That’s too many exclamation points right now.

WTF even is that? “True colors”??? “I’m a blue and a gold.” “Ohhhh I’m a red and a …” WHERE EVEN AM I RIGHT NOW???

Are you a leader? No. No, I am not.

“who vigorously opposed their opponents’ attempts”

I’m glad I’m almost done with this baby blanket. It’s taken me entirely too long to knit up.

Don’t do anything crazy, man.

It looks like vintage pajama material.

Dork-o-rama.

Argh. I hate these stupid doors so much.

I need to print this and hang it outside my cube.

I am not Google. I am not Google. I am not Google. I am not Google.

I will freely admit to you that I have never read Wuthering Heights. I really have no idea why.

I have, however, read Jane Eyre approximately 47 times.

Yes, I know they were written by two different Brontes, thank you very much.

Um. I’ll take Jane Eyre. Or Frankenstein. Or Poe. You know how I feel about Eddie. Eddie is my homeboy. Please. Thank you.

I like tacos. I can only think of one person who doesn’t like tacos and she doesn’t like much of anything.

money money money money money money money money money

“Toxic sentimentality” might be my new favorite phrase.

Um. Hell yes.

The thing that makes Lena Dunham a “sack of flaming garbage” is the fact that she’s a horrible human being. It has absolutely nothing to do with what she looks like and everything to do with how she treats people.

Raise your hand if you’re surprised.

But all is right with the world again.

Honestly. Hiddleston is much too young for me anyway. Allow me to repeat myself: I like my men like I like my Scotch. At least 10 years older than me and strong enough to knock a hippie across the room.

I have a shocking number of links for you this week. Haven’t been linking much at all lately.

Exaggerating the risks of allowing children some unsupervised time has significant costs besides the loss of children’s independence, freedom and opportunity to learn how to solve problems on their own,” Sarnecka said. As people have adopted the idea that children must never be alone, parents increasingly face the possibility of arrest, charges of abuse or neglect, and even incarceration for allowing their children to play in parks, walk to school or wait in a car for a few minutes without them.”

I just marked “bachelor degree” as the highest level of education I’ve received for the first time in response to a question. That’s kinda cool.

“You may not be as blessed with easy charm and cunning as some other Starfleet Captains we could mention, but this means you’ve had to sharpen up your other skills, most notably as a tactician and a diplomat. As well as being supremely clever, you have an exceptionally long fuse, which allows you to play the long game in matters of extreme delicacy, even when tempers are becoming frayed all around you. This means you can lead your loyal crew less by instinct and more by a keen understanding of the best way to navigate some extremely strange situations. ”

Huh. Honestly I expect Captain Sisko. I do love Patrick Stewart. Sisko will always be my favorite though.

What? Hugh Laurie has a new series? Yes please!

Thanks to Stormageddon, this song has been firmly entrenched in my skull for a full week. Unrelenting. It is kind of a great 90s esque shoegazer poppish little number though. In a Boo Radleys sort of way. At least it’s not awful. I don’t hate it at all. I just would maybe like a break from the damn chorus.

It is so humid that it set the smoke alarms off in the old Compound this evening. Ridiculous.

Seriously. Ridiculous.

Of course the semester started out fraught with technical difficulties. Of course.

Huh. That person is kind of an idiot.

you’re your you’re your you’re your you’re your you’re

You probably could have figured out the answer to that question yourself with just a few minutes of careful reading.

So much to do before I do the thing I need to do. do be do be doo.

I ran out of links. I just typed rena instead of ran.

Yeah, I have no idea.

Evidently I created a category I have never used. Huh.

I need to take my contacts out.

I’m at a total loss about my hair. I just can’t even deal with it anymore. And my bangs seem to have stopped growing completely.

I don’t know who the craft hippies are.

I do know I dozed off there for about 10 minutes and am not really altogether awake right now.

And it’s too late for a cuppa tea.

How is it the last day of August already? How is that even possible?

Johnnie Walker Black? Yes please.

Thanks, but I generally prefer my tea to *not* taste like I’m drinking a campfire. Just say no to lapsang souchong.

What good is a clock that moves at half the pace of a normal clock? And why would I pay $88 for it??

I’m just here.

That meeting actually took the whole hour. My whole morning is gone.

hula mula girls

Look. I’ll be the first person to admit that I have a cheddar cheese pretzel Combo problem.

Wow. I’ve just had no time for you today. And now there is Muppet drama. Poor Red.

Oh Lord. You should just stay out of this one, lady. You do not want to start some shit with a bunch of libertarians.

Gah. I hate looking up homeschool crap and being directed to “our favorite [insert subject here] book!!” and realizing it’s all God based.

The point is that the guy is a moron. I know you missed that in all your moral outrage, so I’m just spelling it out for you. Again. Cos I pretty much said that to begin with.

I just can’t get enough of this Mumford and Sons album lately. I love it.

Ugh. My iced tea tastes funky. But I need a soda break. le sigh.

It kinda tastes sorta cheese-y. Which is incredibly weird.

I’m at a loss.

Well no, I don’t actually want to learn how to use yet another design software. But hey thanks.

I think this tea might be making my stomach feel icky. I think I’m going to trade it in for a Diet Dr. Pepper. Because yum.

Yes. Yes, that was the correct choice.

About your instructor …

I’M TEACHING A CLASS YOU GUYS!

Holy wow. Hell’s bells.

And whatnot.

I do not have any unread messages in my inbox, Office 365. Lying bastard! I hate Office 365 so so so so much.

And now I can never have a medical marijuana card. Not that I was after one, but still.

We need more libertarians in office. That’s just a fact.

You must have tiny tiny cows.

Tiny ickle coos! With tiny ickle moos!

My interwebs’re totally wonked, yo.

What’s up with that beard-thing, Alton Brown?

OK, yeah, I’m in.

“The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” All. Over. The. Place.

Honey Crisp!!! Mah fave-oh-rit.

There. I wrote myself a note and everything.

red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather

goodnight, ladies. goodnight.

Maybe it’s the way she says “bless you” – all urgent and sort of half panicked. As if surely the demons would take imminent possession of your carcass were she not to bless your soul as quickly as her mouth can form the words and her lungs can throw them forth with a burst of desperate air.

But maybe not.

No. Really. Take it to Snapchat. Please.

Maybe it’s because I’m a photographer, not a videographer.

I find this fascinating. I would have thought that “we” care more because it’s a child and there is the natural instinct to protect the children. But it’s fascinating either way.

That was one of the dumber internet quizzes I’ve taken.

Wow. I can’t even comprehend suspending all of my weight from my teeth.

Who puts rosemary in their coffee??

Why do I look at these things? Gah. If a cluttered counter is so anathema to you, lady, why don’t you just come and clean my house for me? You certainly seem to have all the time, ever.

I need some new ankle socks for my constitutionals. All of these are completely shot.

Man. That woman sure prints a lot of stuff.

Signing your work email with “peace” is just as weirdly annoying as signing it “best.”

I feel like you could use a laugh.

My degree has officially posted. I’m officially a grad student. How weird.

Wow, I’ve been so caught up in proofreading this here course content that I’ve completely ignored Random. Holy shit there are a lot of typos and grammatical annoyances to correct.

Holy shit, I’m about to teach my first ever class. It’s a college class. It’s an honors college class. Wow.

Dammit, Jim!

Holy wow. I can see your son comes by his chattiness honestly.

Oh. You’re still here. heh.

Shiny new red pens!

Interestingly, I will not actually be using them for grading.

Gosh they write really nice too.

I feel like there’s something I’m supposed to be doing, but I can’t think of what it is.

MY ART IS MY LIFE!!!!

I think those panda suits that people wear to go into the panda habitats are the creepiest frigging things I have ever seen. Except for those big plasticky rubber animal head masks like you get from Archie McPhee. Those are way creepier. Maybe they’re equally creepy actually. Cos I just saw another pic of those panda people and my skin just started to crawl right off my bones.

Have I mentioned how much I flipping hate plastic wrap?

Who could it be now?

Ha. It’s totally stuck in your head now, isn’t it?

Boy it sure cooled down quickly in here.

Holy shit it’s after 8 already.

Holy shit I’m saying holy shit a lot today.

I don’t have a lot on my mind since I got that email from the Registrar’s office this morning. I guess I’m just kind of suddenly all “WHEW, that’s done. FINALLY.” A huge weight, yo.

Huh. Tony Hawk just bought a house in Detroit. Weird.

My feed is all kinds of messed up.

And my feet are cold.

And my littlest needs to hit the hay hard.

OKIloveyoubyebye