This may be hard to believe, but I really do try not to judge people. But when you get to work at 6:25 in the morning to find your usual parking space co-opted by a car absolutely covered in Bernie Sanders stickers, you have no choice but to shake your head in disgust and mutter about socialist assholes.

People still have MySpace pages? … Maybe they’re on to something.

I can never think of responses to these discussion posts. Like wow, that’s a really interesting perspective.

I am not interested in stories about con-men. They stress me out too much.

Do I smell weird today? I feel like I smell weird today.

I always did have a soft spot for Schumpeter. Ironically.

He should really stop doing that with his hair.

“A new fierce female PI takes on deadly internet scammers in Ghana.” meh

See. I thought it was dire. But it’s not. It’s dying. Dire works so much better there.

Dire geese.

I wish they made a perfume or cologne or oil blend that smelled like this candle.

I just didn’t think Little Women was that good of a book, that’s all.

The ERA is dead. Stop tryina resurrect it. Buncha political theater.

I don’t know why I was thinking that was near Grand Rapids. Sometimes I forget where stuff is. And just how sprawling Detroit suburbs are. Bleah.

I think everyone arguing for population control should be the first ones stepping in line for euthanasia.

Gah. Peas. Why are you so disgusting?

Look. I didn’t even know the queen had that many children.

Pretty sure I’m taking these courses in reverse order. On the plus, the highest level one is out of the way first.

Why is everybody always trying to add an extra N to confiscate? No one is confinscating. That’s not a thing.

Stop talking sense, Piers Morgan!

If there is one thing you should have learned from true crime, it’s that you should never submit your DNA to one of those databases.

I don’t care what anyone thinks, I can’t stop listening to James Blunt’s latest. Also? It had been so long since I listened to his first album, I had forgotten how much I loved that one.

It’s not really free if you’re paying for a subscription, now is it?

Um. No.

I find the oddest people attractive.

Ha. That woman thinks I’m an idiot.

You know, I never thought Rob Lowe was attractive in the 80s. Current Rob Lowe, however, is a damn good looking man.

What is the point in having books if you’re going to turn all the spines to the wall in some sort of misguided hipster aesthetic foolishness? “Shit, I’d love to loan you my copy of High Fidelity. If only I could see my book titles …”

Sorry, Nick Hornby, I actually really enjoy your work, but hipsters ruin everything. But also that was a totally hipster book.

I don’t know what I’m doing either.

I can’t help it if I’m awkward.

I’m glad typing that email felt familiar or I would have sent the exact same message to these people two days in a row, having forgotten that I sent it the first time.

I probably need some red shoes.

But you don’t even

God. Hillary Clinton. Stop.

Did hat really need to be a secure email? I have my doubts.

And just like that, the day got away from me.

Ew. What. Ew.