Huh. Not what I expected to find when I walked into work this morning. Thanks so much.

Sorry I’m so boring. Sheesh.

“You put on a flannel, you pick up a gun, you go out there.”

“Exploring human-robot communication.” Do you want to get Skynet? Because this is how you get Skynet.

There’s a “not-racist” handbook? Huh.

Wait. How are stirrup pants back??

“Tell us your throughts!”

STOP STARTING SENTENCES WITH SO!!!!!!!

Holy shit. Finally. A universal translator. So flipping cool.

Person being friendly: “Cheers!” (as a greeting)
Person who is basically a dick: “Ta what?!?!”

I think the phrase “destination wedding” is dumb. That shouldn’t even be a thing.

Also I’m so incredibly sick of hearing about your wedding. Like seriously. Stop.

A Jesus reference! I did not think that would happen.

I hate it when October feels like June.

If anything, watching Supernatural all the way through a second time has just made me love it more.

I may just start over on a third round. It sure makes the treadmill time pass quickly.

Man. Mick was really starting to grow on me. All that character development just to croak him.

‘Cept his facial hair. His weird stubble was kind of awful.

Dude. Judy Dench has a Harvey Weinstein tattoo on her ASS. WTF. And also that is a special kind of hilarious, really.

I don’t know how long I can keep my fingers crossed, really. I need a distraction.

Yeah, but that’s not entirely true. Schumpeter also said that capitalism would eventually consume itself. So. You know. There’s that.

No. I’m not it. Stop tagging me.

OK, I’m seriously lost, Quantico. Your second season is just a leetle bit over the top.

I don’t know. I think if you’ve been sexually assaulted in some way you kind of have a moral obligation to say something. I know how difficult that is. Life ain’t easy, chickens.

I wish you would all stop complaining about this rainy day. It’s glorious.

I wish you would all stop complaining about GMOs. They have saved countless lives, and are not actually harming you in any way.

I wish you all would just calm the hell down about pretty much everything. Ever.

Sammiches for everyone!

Don’t you have an office you can go to?

I really don’t care if your produce is hand sliced. That’s not really a selling point.

I don’t understand people who leave the tea bag in their tea while they’re drinking it.

One wonders why no one ever does anything about it then.

Now you can’t even share fruit with people.

How do you repair a broken jack-o-lantern?

I’m trying to decide if I should take that as a good sign or not. I don’t want to get my hopes up.

It’s just all willy nilly in here. Drives me crazy.

“delivered in a terribly genteel typeface” God, what snobs you are.

I don’t feel bad about judging people who knew what was going on or experienced what was going on who didn’t say anything. Someone should have done something.

I typed some stuff then deleted it. You don’t need to know what it was.

So many hypocrites in the world. So very many hypocrites.

Fuggit. Done talking about this. Hollywood can go screw itself.

You’re ruining my Random. I need a palate cleanser.

You never stop talking and you’re not even saying anything.

I’m pretty sure this is because of the medication. I’m pretty sure I’m not actually getting sick.

Wow. I wish I had that kind of disposable cash.

Course if I did, I’d just dispose of it in ridiculous ways. And that’s silly.

Maybe being poor is OK. Keeps you grounded. Or something.

But will they still be called Boy Scouts?

Are the Girl Scouts going to let boys in?

Will they merge and just be Scouts?

IS NOTHING SACRED ANY MORE???

Stop using sticky notes, people. Stop. Stop Stop Stop.

Maybe I need a donut. And some cider. It’s a perfect day for donuts and cider.

3

That chick is treacherous.

Also I totally forgot about Bonnie.

I’m feeling kind of super crappy. DAMMIT.

I feel like pizza would be good.

I’m not even editing this. I’m too tired.

I just don’t think that chick is a very good actress.

Chocula.

You should really rethink that mustache, dude.

perpetually

I don’t think I’d be a very good spy.

But I’d be a damn good looking one.

Ahh, that new Doc blister.

Sigh. OUCH.

“For all its flaws, the Communist revolution taught Chinese women to dream big …” All its flaws? Really? Like the actual millions of people that were murdered? Flaws?

Sniff.

YES!!!

Supernatural never mentions Jesus in all the Chuck storylines. I find that interesting.

“Sometimes we keep monsters in the back.”

I wonder how they know how much the gum on the wall weighs.

Why doesn’t God have a name like Amara does? I am enjoying this season as much as I did the first time.

These boys sure get hit over the head a lot. Seems like they’d have some pretty serious concussion consequences by now.

You are most like Abraham Lincoln! History isn’t just a hobby for you, it helps you when you are faced with important decisions. Your beliefs are never shaken even when you are faced with great adversity. You are able to sympathize with the less fortunate without feeling above them. You believe freedom and unity to be the highest virtues.

Man, do I love this tiny window.

I hate it when my feet are hot.

“The passionate man is an unreliable man.” YES! Yes yes yes yes yes. Is there anything worse than emotional legislation? We need more Vulcan-Human hybrids, like me, in office.

I wasn’t sure about this outfit til I walked down for a cider this morning. Then I just felt so good about myself as I was walking. I look fantastic today, dammit.

I wore a skeleton dress yesterday and one of the students I love said I looked like Abby from NCIS and that that was awesome.

October was made just for me.

Just wish my head didn’t hurt. And I can’t even take anything. boo.

I have to say, Supernatural season 12 has not been my favorite so far.

It’s so loud in here.

How long is she going to complain at that volume? I mean honestly.

66 days to form a new habit. Hmm. Well. I’m about 4 days in. Just keep swimming I guess.

Maybe I’ll have that second cup of tea after all.

I feel like I want to brush my teeth.

I have no idea what I’m eating for lunch. As usual.

Call a taxidermist.

I don’t think I’m willing to trust the cafe’s meatloaf.

Enforcing the rules does not make me the devil. Dammit.

So wait, is this baby not, then, the Anti-Christ?

I found you an alternative. You can’t say thank you?

OMG. Stop with the “sportsball.” You’re not witty. You’re not funny. You’re just kind of a hipster douche. And I am saying that as someone who is not sports fan.

The San Juan mayor is kind of cracking me up with her t shirts.

I’m not super digging having Mary Winchester back.

I dunno. Shit accumulates when you’ve been in one place for 5 1/2 years.

“Liberalism is white supremacy?” Are you even serious? Of course you are. I work at a university. I know.

This is a poem my friend Brent shared today and it is beautiful and breaks your heart just a bit.

That’s a lot of samples. Surely that’s impressive.

IT’S PROOF THAT I CAN WRITE.

I love these cheap Meijer bracelets.

I do not love these earbuds.

This day deserves a bowl of Count Chocula.

Evidently as long as I can watch Supernatural while on the treadmill, I can jog for longer periods before I have to switch back to walking. Good to know.

We gotta visit that alligator farm.

I’m digging this fella. He started following me on Insta, so I checked him out. Good album. He’s probably unfollowed me by now. People tend to.

I’m not very interesting.

I’m not ordering David Lynch coffee.

Yep. Definitely a migraine. Whee.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

That’s quite a drive.

No grad school? I’m gonna figure out this whole A line skirt business. Dammit. And a whole list of other crap I need to get done that I would not have had time for.

Now on to sleeve city. whee.

Hey that’s a fingernail.

Hey that’s my fingernail.

I should finish this Jonathan Haidt book. I’ve only been reading it for two years. Ish.

Phrase I’m already thoroughly sick of: “take a knee,” and variations thereof.

OMG I just don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

People like this woman should probably seek professional psychiatric help. This level of attention seeking hysterical fear mongering is pathological.

Forget what I said about that house last week. I want this one.

Damn. There go my lunch plans. Now what.

No grad school … I should definitely write a book.

I guess I’ll get a sandwich.

This has been stuck in my head for days and I have no idea why.

OK, intrigued. Also helps that I have a ridiculous crush on Thomas Jane, despite his weird shoe thing.

Donuts!!! Thanks, Pop!

Well great. There’s a giant mess to clean up. Dammit. I don’t even know how the hell or what the hell even happened with this.

Well. There’s a plus anyway.

Statistics. SO helpful.

Dude. That is so lame. Tell me I get the free stuff then tell me just kidding it’s out of stock. Lame!

This is quite possibly the biggest knitting malfunction I have ever had. It’s salvageable, but so seriously a giant pain in the ass. Frustrating as hell, and my back is killing me from being hunched over these tiny tiny stitches.

In this shitty chair.

With my shitty posture.

Eat a donut, jentober.

I tried to read through it, but my eyes just immediately tried to close for to sleep.

Crap. crap crap crap. CRAP.

There is no way sailors in the U.S. Navy in 194whatever would have been allowed to have those beards. They really should have had clean shaven actors for that episode.

Look at this fancy empty notebook.

That spreadsheet is notable in how completely unhelpful it is. Thanks so much.

Slow ass, kinda unreliable way to kill somebody.

But what do I know?

Maybe I’ll just take the laptop home today. Work on this there. SINCE I DON’T HAVE ANY HOMEWORK!!!!!

looked just like him, but littler

“The United States Congress should pass a law requir-” Let me stop you right there.

I don’t encourage very many people to go to college.

Oh it was Order of the Good Death, not Death Salon.

I kind of wish I had some coffee right now. I don’t even know why.

I’m so happy it’s finally cooling down. I see you lurking, 80 degree day next week. You better not show your face.

I brought this sweater home, but I just don’t know if I have the energy to deal with this damn sleeve.

God I got sucked into FB scrolling for far too long there.

I don’t know why I comment. I should never comment.

Ready. To. Move. On. PLEASE.

I should have become a mechanic.

My next camera. Probably.

How do you want to be remembered?

That is definitely some fall light out there in the back 40.

Damn. My knee is not happy today at all.

OK. This sleeve is not going to knit itself. Alas.

Which I totally typed as Ransom Wednesday.

Which gives me ideas.

You may recognize that first photo from Tom Waits’ Ran Dogs album. If you’re a Waits fan, like myself.

It’s not my favorite Waits album, but it has one of my favorite Waits songs on it.

Spies? Spires? Who knows?

Gah this guy’s voice is so irritating. Chop off his head already.

I am just not feelin’ grad school at all, chickens. I don’t know if I have it in me.

I am just not built for this heat. WHERE IS MY FALL WEATHER?

I have always hated September. Also January. And March. Those are my three least favorite months.

Lunch with Pop.

wish i had a head for math so i could

That is some serious bullshit. Unfortunately it is also not remotely surprising.

Aw look at my tiny fridge! I should paint it to look like the TARDIS.

Cos I have that kind of time.

Or talent.

I prolly should just post this tomorrow.

Yes. Yes, that is wise.

My hair hurts.

Seems like it’d be hard to swim in those tails.

Also that video was making me dizzy.

Can someone bring me a Sweetwaters or a Dunkin donut and also a caramel apple cider from Biggby? Extra hot? With zip? I will love you forever and be your very best friend. Kthanksbye

Shut up, Outlook. I do not have two unread messages. Filthy liar.

Why still no eye roll response, FB? Are you afraid it’s the only one people will ever use?

Because you can never hear this enough times.

Who wants to take me to see the National in a few weeks? Anyone?

You could stop talking any time now, and it would be totally OK with me.

Ugh. Stomach. Ugh.

I always want to add an e to stomach. Stomache.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said that before.

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy

DIVERSITY OF THOUGHT, PEOPLE

That seems like an awfully personal question.

Bastard!

That does sound like a pretty awesome job, actually. I think I’d really enjoy that.

And now we wait.

Yes, I did just skip Evil Woman.

Sometimes a girl just is not in the mood.

I always answered the differently worded, but asking essentially the same thing, questions the same. That’s why I always get the “you’re an inhuman Vulcan with your crazy logic” result on those tests. The INTJ thinger thingies.

“[M]any respondents are making up their opinions – or at least editing and modifying them – as they go through the questionnaire.”

OK yeah. I’m totally OK with that. As far as ridiculous memes go.

Oh I love this house. Let’s pick it up and move it to the Compound. Of course some serious remodeling is in order. That kitchen is tiny and awful. And just say no to dropped ceilings, people.

Evidently I don’t know how to spell surveillance.

I need a cool necklace that I can wear every day that has a hidden camera in it. Can somebody help me out with that?

Here we go. I’d totally wear this watch necklace.  OK, no, it’s actually a bit larger than I’d prefer. I was thinking something more locket sized.

Yeah, I’m probably never going back.

Well maybe I am the Anti-Christ. In that case, I ought to be able to snap my bloody fingers and crush you all. Jerks.

“Tell me what you want to do …” No. Stop being so bossy. It’s none of your business, Outlook!

Yeah, that just seems messy. This is a bad idea.

I love my little fridge.

I need another power strip.

I wish Matt Berninger would cut his damn hair. He looks so much better with short hair.

How the hell did I end up with all these Combos, Allison? You want me to get fatter, don’t you?

now you’re messin with a

general chronic awareness

I do love a good poncho.

I don’t even know where that is.

I didn’t want to go to your stupid meeting anyway.

DEAR GOD stop making that noise. I may vomit.

I’m pretty sure that that is not a reliable test of IQ.

I don’t think anyone has ever called me striking before. So that was nice.

This is not as funny as I was hoping it would be at all.

OMG STAHP

OK. OK OK OK OK. I’ll just take my evil and go home.

There’s an archive photo for you.

Once again, forgot it was Wednesday til I woke up this morning.

At 4:10.

For the second day in a row.

Why is it legooms and not legyoums?

sarcastic pagoda

18 1 11

“Odessa. I tried to keep a clean house.”

I woke up to the sound of a hot air balloon that day.

I never believed that Diane really existed.

I can listen to Nebraska and love it every five or six years and completely hate it the rest of the time.

It’s no secret I didn’t vote for Trump, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t approve of some of the changes he’s making. This one, in particular, is one I’ve really been looking forward to. The ridiculously broad application of Title IX and the blatant denial of due process is infuriating. I’m happy to see it scaled back. Frankly, I think Title IX should be eliminated entirely.

Fancy Med School pen is actually cheap and has blue ink. Lame.

Trust me when I tell you that not everyone you meet is looking for a brief recitation of your current CV.

Literally no one cares.

The Bobbys are surly.

Hey. If a girl wants to serve a cup of coffee in a bikini, seems to me like that’s her business.

Oh God, it’s a staff meeting day.

Pray for my soul.

tiny tiny tiny stitches

magic vagina dust

Who are these people?

OFFS

I don’t understand whipped cream on waffles instead of syrup. Or even in addition to syrup.

Wait, did I read one of these already?

Why can’t I have a job in political theory? That’s my strong suit.

I don’t like data.

I LOVE almost all of Sleep Well Beast. It’s not as strong an album for me as High Violet or Alligator.

I know exactly what you’re talking about and I take zero responsibility for the total lack of communication on the part of your superstar. Instead of praising her and bashing us, perhaps you should be offerings some criticism her way as well.

I’m soooooooooooooo sleepy.

I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Stay home and out of the world.

Try to tell a funny story, get taken seriously. Retreat to cave.

Honestly. There is no reason for you not to have uploaded that reading yet. Come on.

I always read light housekeeper as lighthouse keeper.

Wow, I got all sidetracked and forgot I was doing this.

MOAR CAFFEINE

I could totally be elections boss for the state of Michigan. For reals.

el oh el

I love that show. It’s so awesome.

FINALLY

Don’t call it COTUS. That’s just weird.

I have no memory of this person.

I ain’t no

Adult beverages, food, politics. T-minus 29 minutes.

Copy editor at CATO? That’s like a dream job. I bet it pays crap and I’d have to move to D.C.

Excuse me while I cry a little.

Sorry, Knit Stars is just a little too spendy for me.

Also I’m all faded and speckled out. Also brioched. I’m ready for the new trend, thanks.

Are you gone yet? Can I lock this door now?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with Johnnie Walker.