Fine. Who has time to teach anyway?

“Lucifer in the flesh.” Now that is hilarious.

Y’all act like this superdelegate thing is something new, something that just got cooked up just to screw poor Grandpa Bernie over. You’ve been using this system for 30+ years. It never seemed to bother you before.

“Team Ironman, definitely. I don’t go for a trader.”
“But what if he’s got really good deals?”

I’m struggling to understand how a band like Georgia Florida Line has fans. They’re like Nickelback but pop country. 100% God awful.

This is the cutest. Just watch the video.

Holy wow that’s pretty.

I really hope you’re not asking me to do this literally insane thing that I think you’re asking me to do.

Turn your music down. No one wants to listen to that crap.

I have really not gotten very far at all.

I really cannot get that Nazareth song out of my head.

They are all pronouncing hygienist weirdly.

That there says “alumni”.

All that trudging to and fro in the wind and rain make me long for a nice cuppa tea, this really great book on the American revolution, a warm snuggly blanket and a 4 hour nap.

I am getting none of those things.

Helps if you type in the right email, Jennifer.

I have no idea what that means.

Well. As long as they don’t get to take a plane ride, I guess I don’t care.

I totally forgot the monks were going to be here next week.

hyper hypo hippo lippo lipo typo psycho potato

Helena Bonham Carter is my spirit animal.

“So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.”

Now you’re messin with a

I don’t have any cheese, I’m sorry.

That was an unnecessary qualifier.

OK. I’m completely over this day.

Yes. That worked so well the first time, please, go ahead, try it again.

Maybe I’m just tired of sharing.

Wonder how long it’ll take for the Dems to forget that they hated Hillary for most of the last year when they realize Bernie’s not getting the nomination.

you got to

Nope. “self care” still creepy.

You don’t actually have to speak to me as if I were a half wit, thank you.

What up, Fonzie?

Why the hell would I want Rubio socks?

You know. I feel like I probably *should,* but I just do not think Dita Von Teese is particularly attractive.

This sentence made my brain cry: “On its face the argument from liberty does prima facie support …”

In lieu of doesn’t mean what you think it means. What you’re trying to say is in light of. They’re very different things. I swear I’ve mentioned this before. A shocking number of people make this mistake.

If I was chock full of disposable cash, this kit is one of the first things I’d buy. In aquamarine or fog. But we all know me, so we know I’d probably pick fog.

I like Michael Keaton.

you don’t

Well. She doesn’t have children. So OBVIOUSLY she knows what is best for all of our children.

I totally just wrote case by case basement.

Obviously we all need more ELO in our lives.

Don’t you ever just want to turn off your life, bury yourself in the Dresden Files, and not resurface until you’ve re-read the entire series? No? Just me?

“So while pro-Bernie progressives are free to create their own communities in Ron Paul’s world, Ron Paul libertarians are compelled by force to participate in Bernie’s world. That is the fundamental difference between liberty and socialism, between voluntaryism and collectivism, between statism and private property. Nothing prevents progressives from living as they wish now, except the very things they viciously oppose: decentralization, secession, and local control.”

Go see Tony Bennett for free? Um OK.

i’m a little

Totally el oh elled.

Every email you send does not need the big red high priority arrow. I’m sorry.

Look, I know it’s tempting. It feels better on your tongue to say it. But it’s not the Ukraine. It’s just Ukraine. Just like it’s not the Turkey. It’s not the Cuba. There’s no the!

Sorry. I just can’t do Ennio Morricone.

Wow. I’m boring when work is boring. I could totally close my eyes and go straight to sleep right now.

I just don’t see how Molly Ringwald had the cleavage necessary to pull that trick off. I call movie magic on that one.

I don’t actually care about Beyonce.

i feel like

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

What? They look interesting! Don’t judge me!

You don’t speak Spanish!

Why would the UN investigate the Democratic primary?

“I made a puppet, and it’s a hippie. His name is Hippie Joe.”
“What? I gave you a good name! Hodie!”
“Hippie Hodie!”

I prolly oughta go wash my hair or something.

If only there was some kind of proof!

Well, I’m glad I don’t live in Richland so I don’t have to vote on dissolving my village. But I kind of tend to think that I’m always going to vote for less government, so I kind of tend to think if I did live there, I’d be voting to dissolve it.

that echo chorus lied to me

My internet is totally wonked. Dammit.

There can be only one!

A frozen yogurt robot. Huh.

I like that Orphan Black show. Very entertaining.

It’s kind of remarkable how quickly I start to dream after dosing off.

Interesting question.

Anyway, that was weird.

Water. I need some water.

Stop. Thief.

the future is ours to see

I don’t even know. I just don’t even know.

oh but i do. i know. we are.

Everyone is all “Johnny Depp is screaming with his eyes in that video” and all I can see is “Man, that m’fer is stoned off his ass.”

I could have sworn that whole “who is going to be on our money” thing was settled already.

I might have actually snort laughed.

How do you “accidentally” register for the wrong political party?

Yes. I remember the great Excedrin Migraine recall of 2012. I remember it vividly. Those were dark days. Dark days indeed.

Some people’s coupleness is just way too much for human consumption.

I love it when people send me random cell phone pix. Brightens my day. But don’t be pervy. Nobody wants that.

Probably if you want me to hire you you should actually show up for your interview. Just a suggestion.

So basically we’re writing two final papers if I actually follow the directions. No. I’m making a conscious choice to do less than is demanded. I just can’t be bothered to care enough to write more crap.

I’m not sure why you include your email address in your email signature. Don’t people kind of already have that by dint of the email that they’re reading from you?

I just don’t even understand how my Gmail could be full. I don’t even know what’s in there.

It’s going to be a busy busy day. Joy.

… two hours later …

Yes, busy is one word for it. Hell’s bells.

I think it’s time for me to face the fact that I am never going to have the time to learn to sew my own clothes. So much for cute A Line skirts and adorable blouses.

I totally just typed that as “infant morality” and thought it was hilarious. We all know how immoral infants are.

Don’t go out there, it’s full of dogs.

babe that doesn’t mean

You don’t tell your boss you’ll be back at 2:40 and then text her with a ha ha just kidding. Not cool.

I’m not at all sure that’s a point in your favor. I mean how many of us can really get away with tank tops?

I am never going to finish reading that homeschooling article. I need to admit defeat here as well.

Close the tab, sister! Walk away!

I really wish I had not worn contacts today. I’m so bleary I can’t see anything right.

It’s like a stack of letters you never sent.

I cannot believe the AC is on. It is not that warm in here.

I am not going to get any work done on this paper today. I need to admit this defeat too.

So. Much. Defeat.

Stupid week.

They appreciate chairs, start there.

Every time I see that picture being floated around of Harriet Tubman on the 20 I think she’s holding a wand and is casting a spell.

If you’re going to be an ass I’m going to tell you you’re being an ass. Even if it’s in a public or semi-public forum.

Man, I have a whole slew of thank you cards to write.

I got no answer for ya on that one.

I just have no interest in writing this paper. But I need to suck it up and get it done. Now.

Now now now.

I think it’s interesting that one of your news sources is a media outlet that has named itself after those responsible for the Armenian Genocide.

Do you even history, bro?

Man.

Onerous and odious in the same sentence. Impressive.

Wow, she sure does that duck face a lot.It’s kind of obnoxious.

“He’s most of the sane people I know.”

Hey Supernatural? That’s not wormwood. That looks like it might be Creeping Jenny. But it’s definitely not wormwood.

I dunno. Fitbits kinda creep me out. Like you’re one step closer to Skynet.

You know you’ve found yet another hipster mom blog when they’ve included an artsy photo of a Kinfolk publication.

Just out of curiosity, have you gotten your Google fixed yet?

I think this particular headache is making me crankier than usual.

You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

Did you know it’s my birthday week? Well why not? Pay attention.

Run for office? Don’t run for office. Run for office? Don’t run for office. I CAN’T DECIDE.

OMG. If I run, and get elected, I’ll probably have to stop doing Random.

Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

I still forgot the thing.

Eat a donut! It’s my birthday!

I feel like I should probably get some work done.

I have the best students in the world. They brought me my favorite snack and a chai latte. They’re so sweet.

Well. That was an experience. Think I’ll just go to class now.

I don’t think you need to know every single detail. In many many instances, the details are just not important.

“13 Lena Dunham approved books you need to read right now.” Let me just stop you at Lena Dunham with a big fat no.

I’ve totally lost track of what I’m doing. Totally.

Determination of death. If you don’t cremate me, I want one of those bell things that I can ring when I discover that I’m not actually dead.

Tiny Jayne Cobb!

Well. That answers that question.

Why yes, I would like to take your grad Theory of Democracy seminar this fall, thank you very much!

This two Jennifers thing is going to be confusing. I’m just going to assume they’re never talking to me.

OK yesterday was ridiculous. But whatever. This is like the worst Random ever. And I still don’t have a photo for it.

There. Something from the archives.

I had no idea there was a whole country music war happening. I think that’s kind of hilarious.

Let’s get this t

I do not think I’ve had enough protein in the last 24 hours.

What do you think about assisted suicide?

Evidently Gen Xers believe they are more likely to see a UFO than a social security check in their lifetimes. I can attest that yes, this Gen Xer thinks that makes perfect sense.

How incredibly fascinating.

I don’t know why I’m so antsy, but it’s really bugging me. No pun intended.

Arrrgh. This is too much work.

I kinda want to quit the TWAW thing.

Wait. I don’t think the two groups can be fairly lumped together.

I have a food dilemma. Dammit!

OMG I totally forgot about Unhappy Hipsters.  Doesn’t look like they’ve done anything in a while.

You know what? It’s time to let this puppy go.