I just don’t care for Bat for Lashes. They remind me of this guy I “dated” briefly. He was an ass. A gothic, depressive, suicidal, total asshole. He once bit my neck so hard I truly believe he was trying to draw blood. It wasn’t a hickey, it was evidence. A forensic odontologist could have matched his teeth up to that bite mark half asleep and high on laughing gas, if forensic odontology hadn’t been widely discredited. This guy used to send me an average of one mixed tape a week. I was at Michigan State, he was at Western Michigan. I liked about 37% of the music. It was all Skinny Puppy and Death in June and Ministry and Sisters of Mercy and so on. Ironically, we met at a Tori Amos concert.

It wasn’t until years later that my taste in men made a miraculous turn around.

Wait. How am I supposed to get all these books read by December??

after the fire, before the flood

There is just no comfortable way to sleep in an office chair.

The Garden Chair of Solitude.

I never did anything that nutty when I was pregnant.

Did I show you this already? I love this. And I want that American flag jacket.

Why is there a World Octopus Day?

Why is the proof in the pudding? What if I don’t like pudding? And proof of what, exactly?

that’s 13 cupcakes

It’s fall it’s fall it’s fall! It’s the best month of the year!!!!

I heart Nick Gillespie. Just in case I hadn’t mentioned it previously.

I used to like Boardwalk Empire, but they killed off or corrupted all the likeable characters. Now I can’t stand any of them.

I think I should eat this tiny packet of M&Ms. Right now.

Because people are just really dumb.

Man this town is stinky.

“One can learn a lot about a country and it’s culture by how they dance and the music played.” And by how appropriately they USE APOSTROPHES.

It’s all Ancient Sumerian to me.

Sheesh. There’re about 10 M&Ms in this thing. I feel like I’m being taunted.

Beleaguered Vulcan Brain

Even if I gave half a rat’s ass about sports, it’s awful hard to give the other half about homecoming when this team hasn’t won a single football game this year. But, you know. Keep rowin’ that boat.

Good God! I both love this and am terrified by it. Modern Halloween costumes just do not have this effect at all.

Which reminds me of a book that has been on my Amazon wish list for a while now ….

What’s the point of carrying if your chamber isn’t loaded?

OH MY GOD. STOP TRYING TO DO MY JOB.

All I can think is “They’re so DIRTY!” Ugh.

I’m intrigued. I want to see it. It’s funny, because when the trailer started I thought, “Reminds me of Underworld!” Sure enough …

Plus. Aaron Ekhart is totally lunchable.

Wait. Eddie Vedder is still around?

I’m just curious, but do you think it would be possible for you to eat your potato chips with your mouth CLOSED so I can’t hear you all the way over here in my cube???

What? No. You can’t sit in a dental chair for an hour having work done AND be subjected to a Michael Jackson DVD the entire time. That’s like a special kind of hellish torture. That is just not right.

Where do vegetarians eat around here? No, I’m not going vegetarian. Don’t be absurd.

Oh man. I have to take a best selling author out to dinner next week.

Oooooh!

This is not an artist’s statement.

Oh. That mean’s next week’s Random is going to be late. Like Thursday late.

PANIC! in detroit. but not really.

ouuuuuuuuuch

Oh COME ON. ENOUGH with the flipping FUNDRAISING. Get a damn job!

Why are people wearing these coats? They’re so ugly.

There are some things I can’t even say in Random Wednesday.

then you stop

She’s on a pedestal, guys. Pay attention to her.

Look. I don’t want to tell you your business, but don’t you think she’s leached enough money out of people as it is??

Yeah, this is hilarious.

Sometimes I wish the autocorrect in Word was as sophisticated as it is on the iPhone that isn’t a phone so that I wouldn’t have to keep backspacing to correct my typos when I’m in a typing frenzy.

I would like to unfriend these people, but they’d notice and ask me why, because they could walk right up to me and ask me why. That would just be awkward.

Pond Schmond.

Donna Noble has left the library. Donna Noble has been saved.

It’s so not too early for bed. I think that’s where I need to be.

Well that’s just not sitting well at all.

71

Lawnmower Man. Lawnmower Man. Ohhhh I remember that movie. Wasn’t that Matt Frewer? I used to love him on Max Headroom.

You can’t just say “No one should see the Fifth Estate regardless of how you feel about Asange,” without giving your reasons WHY.

Oy.

I’m cold. That settles it.

I hate chickpeas.

Fascinating!

If the parks are closed because we can’t afford to staff them, why are there people there ready to  arrest you and write you tickets for entering the parks? The parks should be empty. Seems ridiculous to have staff at the park patrolling it but it’s closed to the public. Just like everything else the government does, this makes no sense.

Ah, tell her to piss off.

“The germen’s believed that they were the superior race.” The germen’s? Really??

CHOCULA!!!!!! YESSSSS!!!!!

Shut down. Please.

I really don’t think this antacid is working.

Dammit. I keep forgetting something. Which I’ve just forgotten again.

I’m not so sure about casseroles.

potato potato potato potato

Total bullshit.

I would wear this all the time.

Yeah, using your top 5 strengths from Strengths Finder as your email signature is so incredibly clever. Way to chain yourself inside that box.

Ghost hunting Saturday!

Oh God. Is everything going to incorporate the periodic table in it now? Thanks Breaking Bad. That’s not at all annoying.

That woman looked at my chest the entire time she was here. Now I’m all self conscious.

Beautiful.

“You look ridiculously good in cashmere.” Well. Who can argue with that?

You know why I can’t get rid of these Glengary Glen Ross tickets? Because it’s a boring ass play, that’s why.

But. They spelled medieval wrong!

I just got an email addressed to Striker.

I love the Miller-Nin room.

“I think there’s only a half dozen lesbians in Hollywood and they just rotate every few years.”

Woah. Neat!

Dear God.

I don’t know who froze those little plastic wrapped packets of rice, but they don’t look appetizing.

Your lunch always smells revolting. Always. Just stop eating here.

I like that actors in British shows look like real people. Actors in American shows always look like models. Unless they’re over 40, then they look haggard. Or maybe not haggard, but like what Hollywood thinks people over 40 in the real world are supposed to look like. Whatever. They don’t get it right.

Um. It’s STILL not an emergency.

Yeah, this is pretty hilarious.

Yes.

Of course I automatically think you’re dead.

“It’s hard out there for an annoying pop culture addicted attention whore.”

Sleepy Hollow is kind of meh, but I’m kind of enjoying it anyway, because I love those kinds of shows. Not meh shows. Supernatural types of shows.

I typed supernational.

Donors. We need more donors.

I kind of feel like I’m slightly out of step with time today. As if my time stream were occurring at a slightly slower or faster rate than everyone else’s and as a result I’m lost and alienish.

My interwebs appear to be sickly.

I always forget that British people call underwear “pants.” That can be confusing.

Keep your pants on!

ooph.

Sorry. Still don’t give a shit about Banksy.

ROADS!

Why do people say “You can’t make this stuff up!”? Of course you can make this stuff up. Or maybe YOU can’t. I make stuff up in my head all the time. It’s called imagination. You should try it.

Gah. Coffee. Stop with the coffee.

“Those profs and students normally using U.S. Gov’t databases will have difficulties accessing these and certain electronic resources (ERIC and Government Docs).  The Government Shutdown is the cause.”

Oooh fancy. That might actually be my first real business lunch. I’d so much rather skip it.

My skin is so dry. It’s insane.

I don’t know why this is suddenly stuck in my head.

Attendance is mandatory.

Dear Lord. Why would anyone need a haggis in the first place, let alone a spare haggis??

Yeah, I can see how shutting down the parks is REALLY making an impact.

I am not sure that there’s much better than being told that someone holds your work in such high regard. I’m just so … my day is made completely.

I got all caught up in that video on the kamikaze and forgot all about you. Sorry.

I thought this stupid week was supposed to cool down, not keep getting warmer. Where’s the cold front that was allegedly coming through on TWO SIDES???

I hate this chair. It’s so hard to do homework in this chair.

Can’t. Stop. Sneezing!

So many forms. SO MANY FORMS!!!

AaaooooooooooOOO!

!!!Love it!!!

I’ve never read any Tom Clancy.

My own subscription to Reason! I’m so excited.

I need more Halloween music in my life right now.

I typed mucis.

I probably need more Halloween mucis too. I’d probably spell it mucous though.

The Good Witch says NO.

you sure are

Because. You can never have too many fantastic ferris wheel photos. So says I.

Damn, Adam Baldwin was smokin’ as Jayne Cobb.

OK. I’m over the zombie genre. Moving on.

I think I’ve mentioned that I was never that into it in the first place. But somehow people started associating zombies with me. Now I get all these “Hey jentober, look at this zombie thing!” all the time. I was aways more of a vampire girl. I might be leaning toward werewolves these days though.

I think you mean complementary, not complimentary.

Yeah. I think I want want want this.

It’s so weird! I want to play with it!

Every once in a while, I’ll be eating an apple, and it’ll suddenly stop tasting like an apple, and taste just like a potato.

“I’m the clever one, you’re the potato one.”

She should write a book called “1,001 Things to Never Ever Do”.
Ha. And then just list everything she’s ever done.
Exactly. I would probably even buy that.

Why are German words so bloody long? Wehrmachstfuhrungsstab. Ooph!

And then this monstrosity happened.

Pretty sure punk’s been dead for a long time. But yeah. More nails in the coffin I suppose.

Read Thomas Jefferson’s bible. Well, the English bits anyway.

Hello headache. So nice of you to drop back by.

I think this tea might be magic.

It is not my job to answer questions on behalf of your program.

OMGARGH. ONE N. ONE BLOODY N!

I ran out of them.

I wish the Kalamazoo Symphony Orchestra would do an evening of Doctor Who music. Murray Gold. That would be so kick ass. I’d stay awake for that one!

Well, I don’t know how inclined I am to let Miss W watch, but I don’t disagree with what Nick is saying at all.

Now I want to watch Lord of the Rings again.

mathy mathness of math

doofus quadroupolis .. and what they suffer from is doofism

can’t walk out

Um. What?

Oooh! It’s almost time for my adventure in ghost hunting with Miss W! We’re so excited.

See? This is why we have to switch.

Freezer paper.

hives!

I can’t get used to this new keyboard. But I am not complaining, because I love this thing. I don’t love it like some people love HANSEN. But I love it.

I can’t look at you str

Ugh. I don’t want to write this stupid paper. Well it’s mostly written.

Writeen.

Defunding is only a temporary solution anyway. All it takes is for a new Democratic majority to come in and refund it. Shouldn’t they instead be focused on repeal? Repeal is a permanent solution to this train wreck of epically historic proportions.

Stupid death bed phone! Stop calling people!

My tablet thinks I want to know what the weather is like in Troy, Michigan. I can’t even remember the last time I was IN Troy, Michigan.

35 days, 11 hours, 5 minutes, 29 seconds til Halloween!!!

You’re going to like my costume. Well. Maybe not you. Never mind. Just forget I said anything.

Gaaaah Now Psycho Pants is being all incompetent AND nice. I can’t deal with NICE incompetence!

temper-a-tour

Huh. I was accepted into the competition. I’m one step closer to $200.00. Go me.

Am I supposed to do this iOS 7 thing on the iPhone that isn’t a phone? I’m afraid of iUpdates.

Oh number pad. You gorgeous thing, you.

Are you an expert in bathing chickens? Well, are you, sir? ARE YOU???

It’ll be nice if I don’t completely fail this test tomorrow.

studystudystudystudystudystudystudystudystudystudy

Honestly, I’ve spent the last 4 weeks immersed in the Pacific war. Surely something has stuck in my brain. Right? RIGHT???

“A clean chicken is a sad chicken.”

I’ve shared this before, but maybe it was just on FB. I just find nothing at all appealing about Cindy Sherman. Meh. Gursky? Yawn, stop preaching. But I adore the Steichen. And the Weston nude is positively dreamy.

Bat eggs? Wait. What??

Man, I hate vitamins.

Hmmmmm. I wonder if they’ll actually film it in Battle Creek. Hey, then I could be an extra! That’d be fun for about a minute.

People. Ugh.

Blimey!

Bob! Poor Bob. I think he’s bored with Jane Austen.

lackluster. lacking something. lack lacker lacktastical.

Whatever happened to that awful band Elastica?

The blog is becoming dull. Random is the only thing I ever post any more. Although, no one reads it, so I suppose it doesn’t much matter.

I told Inglis that I would be a fantastic campaign photographer. I don’t think he was buying it. His aid liked my work though. His aid was awesome.

I still can’t believe I’m in that exhibit next month. How funny. I love that photo though. That’s a kick ass photo.

Oh they changed Instagram again. It’s weird now.

Lemon.

Dammit! Now it’s stuck in my head! Gah.

I always thought the Edge was kinda hot, really.

I think it’s past my bedtime. Shhhhhh!

Security question I was just asked because I forgot my password for the twelvetieth time: Where were you when you first heard about 9/11?

Just another reason to tell Islam to piss off.

Listening to kids play is like listening to someone read aloud a play in the midst of being written, including stage direction:
“Pretend I ran away because I’m so terrified.”
“Yeah, but then you came back after, like, 3 years.”
“Yeah, pretend I’ve been adventuring with my bat, but then I came back.”

These are fascinating.

Rocket frog!

Oh God. It’s the return of the Wednesday morning meeting. I can’t take it.

Look at this cuteness!

I never win the boots.

anybody could be that guy

Ooooooh! Yes yes yes yes yes!

I don’t know what this “humblebrag” business is, but I’m already annoyed with it.

I can’t believe I forgot my lunch again.

What could possibly go wrong?

All they do all the time is bitch, bitch, bitch. And they wonder why I’m not all that interested in helping them.

lay my burdens down

I’m fairly certain that the Walking Dead does not merit a spin off series of any kind.

It’s Munchausen’s, obviously.

I am not a doctor but I play one on the internet.

CNN. Reporting … something.

So, is there anything you actually do like? Because your Facebook feed is painful.

Meh. I never go to Starbucks anyway. Overpriced coffee that, frankly, isn’t even good. But, I don’t think he is being unreasonable. It’s one thing to casually go in, openly carrying, and be nonchalant about getting your coffee. It’s a totally different story to walk in with an AR strapped to your back. You’re just forcing confrontation that doesn’t do our side any favors.

I’m starting to hate camels.

The writers at Bust just get more ridiculous all the time. “Miley isn’t at fault, it’s the director.” Really? Because Miley had no say in the contents of her own music video? She’s not a grown woman who could have said, “You know what? Not so much with the naked!” OK. Sure. Blame the guy. That’s what you do. It’s a profession for too many of you. But even aside from all that predictable nonsense, I have to slam on the brakes and say a resounding NO to comparing this video tripe with Francesca Woodman’s work. You are clearly certifiable.

Too much emphasis on sports. I don’t care about your sports.

Yeah, I’m going to have to say I totally understand where she’s coming from on this one …

Sweet.

Wasn’t that a cannibal movie?

;p;

Can I have some good news please?

I’m pretty sure you mean imminent, not eminent.

What’s not to like about kilts?

High risk. Ha.

Man. Now I’m going to have to find time to rewatch all of Angel.

Shepherd’s Pie is revolting.

I’m not sure you actually know what that phrase means …

goin’ back someday

Just in case anyone was in danger of forgetting she existed …

Free! Yay! I can fall asleep at the symphony for free!

I’d be a kick ass detective. At least on paper. And in my head. And the occasional noir-ish photograph.

more than anything else

What???

Really. Just start handing out copies of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to everyone you see. All the time.

Oh for crying out loud, GVSU. Hi-larious.

This kid. I swear. Every time I get her a new book to read, a book I know she’ll love, she’s all “DRAMATIC SIGH. That sounds terrible! I don’t want to read that book ever! You are so cruel!” And by the time she’s done with it she’s all “OMG!!!! That was the best book EVAR!!!!” Seriously, can you just start saying “YAY! Thanks, mom! I can’t wait to check it out!” and save me some grief?

Ha. I love it when I get emailed by mistake at work.

You will be deleted!

Common Core is the government’s way of creating generations of passive, submissive automatons who won’t fight back. Homeschool while you can.

After the Japanese invaded and occupied Nanjing, (and raped and pillaged and slaughtered its people), the Japanese government changed all the textbooks back home to instill a pro military, pro Japanese, pro New Order mindset in the children. When you control education, you control the population. Remember my mantra, people? STOP Acquiescing!

Open a map to your LAN. Huh.

Ooh, spooky goodness.

I’m so sorry that you’re such a miserable, humorless bastard that you can’t even comprehend the most basic form of sarcasm. You poor, sad, pitiful douchebag.

internet intranet internet intranet internet intranet

It’s not a tumor!

Mr. Sweet.

“He’s an emotional, mental wreck of a human being. And he’s twitchy.”

Well. I tried anyway. I got a little choked up though. Not as smooth as the time I said I’d “shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. It went about as you’d expect something like that to go.” That was the best staff meeting ever.

Man. I love Squirt. It’s been too long since I drank one.

These are lovely. I like the woman with long hair in black with the red wrap.

I dunno, when the Swede shaved his head and was painted all white, the first thing that popped into my head was – “How can we dance when our earth is turning? How do we sleep while our beds are burning?”

That new United Way campaign just makes me think of the One Ring. “One Mission to Unite Us All” I feel like I need to march into Mordor.

She’s got an (evil) tv eye on you.

Word.

To your mother.

If I tell you something is art, you believe me, because art is subjective. But that doesn’t make it truth.

Just the symphony, sweetie.

“listen, jentastic.”

It’s totally the TARDIS.

I don’t know who came up with this “drop a deuce” phrase, but they should be punched in the face.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Not Life of Pi!

Don’t blink!

Calling something a flow chart does not magically make it a flow chart.

I see nothing wrong with educating your daughters on using caution in the types of photos they post of themselves on line. Despite what some liberals appear to believe, it is possible to teach your daughters to have self respect without being ashamed of their bodies.

What does that even mean? You are assuming a level of intimacy that does not exist and your post is wildly inappropriate.

The controversy over the Harley Quinn tryout script is ludicrous.

Allahpundit remembers 9/11/01. An old post, but so worth reading (again).

“Not that keen
On the guy who smokes and texts on his cell
Holding a sign by the gas station everyday
Saying need a job please help”

You are just so tiresome. You do not have PTSD. Just stop.

I don’t find Anson Mount nearly as attractive with short hair and clean shaven as I do with long hair and a beard. Go figure.

OK, yeah. Totally hooked on Hell on Wheels.

That might be the most ridiculous hat I have ever seen. It appears to be an upended, empty horn-o-plenty.

This is fascinating, but it also, for some reason, makes me sad.

“She’s not dumb … she wrote a book.”
“Anybody can write a book – look at Obama.”

Ohh! I want them!

I think it’s hilarious and kind of sad that you truly believe that you have to be the final word on absolutely everything, as if you were somehow that important in the world.

Complicated sandwiches.

I lost my Bad Brains ticket.

I love this.

“On the eve of 9/11, we have a President trying to convince the American people that we should aid the terrorists we ourselves have been fighting for a dozen years.”

Head. Agony. Why.

My poor Vulcan brain.

We stalled a bit there.

I need some Count Chocula.

I would like to see this film.

“He had no hair, no sunglasses, and no seatbelts.”

Won’t someone think of the children???

I hate listening to people type. They all have their own distinct rhythm. They hit keys with a specific and varying degree of force in a specific order. tap tap tap TAP tap TAP tap taP tap tap tap TAP tap TAP tap taP. It drives me crazy.

It’s so hot today. I can’t stand it.

I wonder what the final count of bikers will be. Such a cool thing.

ARGH! She’s eating chips!

K1206 dimensional plans. I don’t have those.

I need a different job.

I need to be obscenely wealthy so I don’t have to have any job at all.

Notes of quote.

OMG!!! wait, what OMG!

People make me sick.

Rain rain rain rain rain come on rain please rain rain rain stormy rain.

Ha!

I cannot concentrate on anything at all today.

Someone needs to send me chocolates.

UGH.

Are we sure the Japanese didn’t write eleventy seven versions of the modus vivendi? Because I’m pretty sure that’s how many I just read.

X-Philes

You’re a business major who can’t spell business. I’m sure you’ll be very successful.

Thanks, Accuweather. I had no idea that this was migraine weather. Whatever would my cracking skull pain do without you?

I need some kind of vise like pressure band for my cranium to keep my skull from bursting open.

Also some damn rain!

Nooooooooooooo! This is the wrong doc. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

So many many things I’d rather be doing.

I might be having a minor existential crisis. It’ll pass.

I should knit. No no no I need to get this homework done. So much homework. But knitting!

Burn all the codes!

This is a good story.

book choy and criminology mushrooms

spoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!

I need some smell good stuff.

Why, yes, yes I do. I wonder how good it actually works. Well. I wonder how well.

Damn. I could have sworn I watered the plants. Oops.

“Get down here. Now.”

It bothers me that Dennis Miller’s newsletter thingamawhatsit is called Dennis Miller Dot-Dot-Dot followed by an elipse.

Cross eyed.

Um. NO. Well. I bet Miss W would like it though. Maybe for Christmas. It’s not that bad.

Hayden Panettiere should not have bangs.

It’s going to be a long month.

“jennifer townsend – photographery guru, proud cynic, whovian.”

hee

I would never own a McDonald’s in Detroit, but if I did, and all of my employees went on strike because they wanted some ridiculous $15.00 an hour and I had to shut down my business for a week, I would fire every last one of them and hire people who actually want to work.

Dear God.

I’m never going to top the views on the gun post.

“He offered me a nice surveillance package.”

Hello, sugar coated donut of joy. I am going to eat you now.

I ask a lot of rhetorical questions. People are always trying to actually answer them.

Huh

copypasta

Maybe what the “tribe” can’t deal with is your total dishonesty. Chances are that no one gives an actual shit what your gender is or what you want it to be. You lied. And you perpetuated that lie all over the internet. That makes you not a good human.

I love this so much.

Actual agony. I can’t even tell you.

So, no boots on the ground, except where there might need to be boots on the ground. But it’s not a war or anything. No, for serious guys. Totally not a war. Well, not in the “classical sense” of the term. But no boots on the ground, that’s not an option at all. Until it’s an option because weapons of mass destruction and stuff. And also it’s not about regime change. We’re not interested in regime change. But we might make a regime change because Assad – crazy. But it’s totally not a war though. And also what red line? That’s not my red line. What?

You people are straight up ridiculous.

Really? I’ve been here five years and all I get is this stupid form letter from the vice president? Lame. Oh, extra vacation time? OK then. Better.

Um. Just a gentle reminder. Turtles do not “give birth.” They lay eggs. I think that’s kind of an important, and basic, biological fact to know.

Hell. Yes.

It’s just wishful posting. I think I need to start labeling my status updates. “This is not meant to be taken seriously.” “This is a rhetorical question that does not require your serious response.” “This is not an indication that I plan to spend several hundred dollars on a new toy, as I have no actual disposable income.” Might be useful.

I am not accomplishing anything right now.

Maybe Henry Rollins hasn’t found love because he’s a great big jerk. Just a thought.

I hadn’t even thought that if you don’t learn to write cursive you probably won’t know how to read cursive. I wonder what that will do to the study of historical documents. We’re doomed! Miss W will be learning cursive for sure.

This is based on a book. I hated this book so much. Like a visceral hatred. And it refuses to fade from memory. Also in the book – the main character was not the “perfect aesthetic form of a mesmerizing woman”. I will not be watching this movie.

VICTORY!!!!!

Another Goddamned cracker.

Ugh. So much ugh. ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh. Ugh.

That’s a terrible idea.

Weep for your future, America.

Graham McTavish is kind of hot when he’s not all hobbited.

A really stupid bee. That was blind.

hobbitteddededed. ed.

el oh el oh dear

56 days, 15 hours, 10 minutes, 10 seconds til Halloween!!!

This week is kicking my ass.

I have finally found the perfect concealed carry bag. Of course, I can’t afford it … le sigh.

Veddy veddy cool.

So much reading to do.

pedia

Um. OK. Be a jerk then. Jerk.

“I’m really fucking tired of the Middle East.” You and me both, sister.

Afraid of Russia. Please.

We always seem to get left off the list.

I haven’t given you any music this week. How awful.

like some ancient lover

I always feel like I need to remind people that I am not actually a Republican. I don’t even play one on TV. Although I could. I’d probably be really good.

It’s semestember. The twelveteenth.

Weepy.

That chicken up.