nobody here but us chickens

Random Wednesday

Did the Dukes of Hazzard have jobs?  You know, other than fighting the Man?

Now I have the theme song stuck in my head.  Ahhh, Waylon.

My brother met Waylon Jennings at Tootsie’s in Nashville.  He’d (my brother) been living down in Lebanon.  Eventually he ended up in a bar brawl (not the night he met Waylon) and got his jaw broken in three places.  He lost a lot of weight while it was wired shut.  How could you not?  He lived off beef broth, chocolate milk, and orange juice.

Ugh, what if you had to throw up with your jaw wired shut?  Ugh.

I had no idea there was such a thing as a penologist.  Look it up, gutter mind.

Oh good.  Nosy McWaddlepants is here.  She’s going to look at her broken thermostat and think it’s 80 degrees in here, prop all the doors open and turn all the fans on high and then whistle tunelessly for the next half hour.  Yay.

Yes I am capable of biting my tongue, dammit.

Someday, I’m going to convince Chris Muir to draw me.

I don’t like Krispy Kreme.

Wow, three of the stories on the “front page” of Mlive this morning are about Bob Seger.  Right about now Mister is uttering our long running Seger joke that no one gets.

I refuse to buy a hybrid.

Oooh tiny donuts!

“You can’t just eat a shoe!”
“She has, like, a cast iron stomach or something.”

It is eerily quiet in here today.

The nearest Krav Maga class is over an hour away.  I’m really bummed about this.

I wonder what kind of poetry cowboys write …

Out here on the open range, cattle low, they low and my head is heavy and my heart is weary.
Out here in the wild, wild western plains, the mountains looming, and I am lost.
Saddle sore and spurred to inaction.
The wolves are at the door.

Character.

I love Dennis Miller.  Miss W calls him the Grouchy Guy.  I think it’s funny that he calls everybody “baby”.

Btsgnl.

I haven’t had – oh.  Yes I have.  Never mind.

Someone just said to me: “I appreciate your positive example.”  And she wasn’t even being sarcastic.

I am not a Dr. Who fan.

That woman’s giggle creeps me out.  It is an evil sound.

Seriously though, I wish I looked half as good as Daisy Duke did back in the day.  Well, maybe I look half as good.  I’m not a gargoyle.  You know what I mean.

Also it smells like a natural gas leak in here.

New Girl.

My mother responds to my tweets via text message.

I am convinced that this office hell is directly responsible for the majority of my migraines.

id rather date a spider or a rat den u

Oh no.  Ew.  I thought it was mint.  Like a giant Junior Mint with cake in the middle.  No to marshmallow.  No.

Man.  Some people just have no appreciation for a good werewolf.

Damn.  Now I have the entire Rocky Horror soundtrack running through my head.  Damn students.

I did not break Twitter.  I miss the Fail Whale.  What’s with this robot?

I do not now, nor have I ever had, a dimple.

What. The. Fuck.

Now that Daniel Craig is Bond, I want to be a Bond Girl more than ever.

Chris Isaak.  Swoon.

I bet pirates would like tiny chocolate donuts.

Know what’s better than finding a fresh stick of Burt’s Bees lip shimmer in your purse when you run out?  Finding two!  #nutmeg

It’s not a social experiment gone awry.

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4 Comments

  1. ScottO

    Damn iPod, always wanting capitals where they aren’t needed.

    You look at least half as good as Daisy Duke. You remind me of Linda Fiorentino. I would do something stupid for Linda Fiorentino. Something really stupid.

    Marshmallow, outside of a Rice Krispie treat, is exceedingly gross.

    I love Chris Isaak’s voice. I might do something stupid for Chris Isaak. Nah. But almost.

    • AntiJenX

      Linda Fiorentino is pretty rad. Thank you 🙂

  2. Bunny

    Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge!
    I went there as part of a rehearsal dinner years ago and got blind drunk and stayed out all night singing “Ring of Fire” and guzzling Budweiser. The next morning at some ungodly hour, El D’s mother called and insisted we drive an hour to go car shopping with her before the damned wedding. While they test drove Hondas, I puked in the dealership bathroom. It ended up being a very long day.

    • AntiJenX

      See? I don’t have stories like that.

      OK, maybe one or two …

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