antijenx

nobody here but us chickens

Author: AntiJenX (page 1 of 101)

Random Wednesday

I need to start keeping a toothbrush in my drawer at work.

But it was January.

Another day, another interminable staff meeting.

Microscopical is a word? Microscopic just sounds better.

Unlike many libertarians, I don’t have an issue with borders and defending them.

No. No icky vibes, please.

eggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I REALLY want bees.

Maybe he just doesn’t care.

“I don’t wanna talk, I wanna shoot!”

The guys lined up at the bar with their cigars.

I don’t know how to play chess.

That does not sound delicious.

But I don’t even have a DVR.

I can never pronounce Appomattox.

Oops. Sorry Jayne Cobb.

Sheesh. Can I just move to the Shetlands now please? WOW.

I wonder if they buy a new map every time there’s a new investigation. That’s probably a lot of maps.

Why would you ever cap that at 30??

Apple pie!!!

scan scan scan scan scan

That worked even better than I’d hoped.

My Twin Peaks episode notes are feeling like weird little poems.

Oh, well, that works too, I guess.

I’m gonna take myself a break.

Why are we taking Bill Nye seriously??

I

What? United Airlines is killing bunnies now?

Robocop. Figures.

I’m so boring today.

No one asked me about my kids.

I felt like the least important person in the room, to be honest.

Surely it is time to eat the pie?

Guess I should have known better than to take some initiative. Duh.

I need my chair!

I need a nap.

I need some motivation.

I need a personal trainer.

I’m trying to decide that riding my bike that far back and forth every day sounds like an awesome plan. But my brain just keeps laughing at me.

Oh. Dentist tomorrow. Whee.

I think that may have been a wee bit too much cinnamon.

I think. I think. Yes. It is.

slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

When you see me again, it won’t be me.

17.52 man from another place, twin peaks, episode 29

(theme – outside)

Random Wednesday

I. Am. Miserable.

I would very much like to go see Shooter Jennings in June.

This is some pretty great feedback.

Fssssshhh.

OFFS. I’ll cover it.

It’s that feeling of constantly having to sneeze that kills you.

Yeah, rapidly coming to loathe the phrase “flip the script.”

Holy hell it’s busy today.

Sometimes the Can Do Girls can’t!

I feel like I’m speaking a totally different language than everyone else today.

I keep accidentally setting my phone to silent. Which I suppose is OK for phone calls, because the only people who call me are spammers and the NRA. But I also miss incoming messages that way. Sorry. But you probably aren’t messaging me anyway.

Damn, I wish I was asleep.

Actually, I’m so zoned out right now, I might as well just be asleep.

AT LEAST MY BRAIN IS ASLEEP

Allyship??? That’s not even a word!!

I have not even been paying attention.

Oops. We should visit the library more often.

I thought that said Lovercraft.

Acceptation??

So glad I decided to read through this one more time.

Is that a fucking fruit fly? GODDAMMIT!

I can just order the router.

Great. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

Lady, there is not even a tornado watch. Calm the hell down.

I had a song in mind but I’ve forgotten that too.

Look. I have the mouth of a longshoreman who moonlights as a trucker. But there’s a time and place.

Honestly, if anyone makes an attempt on Trump’s life, it’s likely to be that unhinged moron Shia LaBoeuf.

What is this purple Starbucks weirdness everyone is posting pictures of?

Also it looks like it’s liquid cotton candy, and therefore disgusting.

Stormageddon does not like the bus.

Wow. I. OK.

rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain

Well yeah. Lauren Hutton is gorgeous.

Ok, thanks, but I don’t actually care about Bill O’Reilly.

silver sulfasomething

Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t really want to pay you to send me a postcard.

Really kind of hating Diane Fry. WTH. Get over your damage, chiquita. Cooper’s a good guy.

Damn. That’s a hell of a Riot Fest lineup.

Why is food always so problematic?

The hell with it. I’m posting today. Surprise!

I could have sworn we had some zinc.

I don’t care what anyone thinks, I like the Home soundtrack.

Well, that was lame.

At least I won’t

Holy shit. What a weird coincidence.

I think it’s strange you never knew.

16.52 fade into you ~ mazzy star

(theme – fade)

You ever pray with all your heart and soul just to watch her walk away?

15.52 baby did a bad, bad thing ~ chris isaak

(theme – music)

Random Wednesday

Happy First Contact Day

Shoulda used the Spock pic instead today I guess.

The Bernhard Center cafe menu always puts an apostrophe in nachos. “Nacho’s Deluxe.” Nacho’s deluxe what??? Who is Nacho?

WHO IS NACHO?

Well. Things are all turned around now.

Yes, I think this is the right decision. Probably.

You can’t tell people they can’t eat that food.

Sorry, but ginormous is totally a word.

I got this fancy portfolio thing. What am I going to do with this fancy portfolio thing? It’s 2017.

Barbed wire seems scary and intimidating when you look at it, but upon reflection, wouldn’t wrapping your baseball bat with it be basically a waste of time? After a couple of wacks, the barbs would be all bent flat. Then you have a bumpy baseball bat, sure, but honestly? Getting hit with a bat seems sufficient. The wire just sort of comes across as window dressing. I am not impressed.

No, I still don’t actually watch The Walking Dead.

I just read a ridiculously old Random and in it I said I’d never read The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. That isn’t even true. Why would I say that? I’ve totally read that book. Sometimes I forget things. And evidently, sometimes I have temporary brain damage. I blame the migraines.

I wonder what I did with that corset.

Well. That was unexpectedly depressing.

Nacho knows.

Sorry. Not my banana.

Ok, but that isn’t actually true. And you know it isn’t.

Sweet. I still love that show.

Wow. That is not a flattering photo of my neck.

Smarmy bastard.

I typed this big long thing about something I had posted before but couldn’t find. But I found it. So here it is again. “I think the world would be a happier place if we just randomly mailed each other books. I randomly mail people books for fun. But I mean randomly mail someone a book that really meant something to you. Just because. Maybe it’s just me. I’d love that. I’d love to just randomly, periodically get a book from someone just because they loved the book and thought ‘I need to share this with my Jen.'”

Oh hush. That’s just the tragedy talking.

I wish I had Lucy’s job.

Albert’s path is a strange and difficult one.

“There’s things you can’t get in books.”
“There are things you can’t get anywhere, but we dream they can be found in other people.”

It’s getting mighty old.

Wait. What. Cinnamon roll donuts are back at Biggby. Might need to do a run this morning.

And by run I mean walk calmly to Biggby, taking my time.

As long as it’s not pouring.

I just almost dumped my tea in my lap.

Sorry I suck so much lately.

I probably shouldn’t put that in the personal statement I really don’t want to write. “I suck right now, but you should totally let me into your program on account of I don’t suck all the time.”

She is pathologically incapable of just doing what she is asked to do.

Well, they’re not full just yet.

I dunno. I like sandwiches.

I could really go for one of those Cuban pulled pork sandwiches we had in Florida. Man, those were amazing.

But I’m at a complete loss as to what to eat for lunch now. siiiiiiigh

Oh Jesus. How did I forget we have Chick-fil-A here now?? Anyway, I can’t make it there and back on my lunch hour.

Be adaptable.

Wait. Lettuce heist?? What???

That. That is the look that made me crush on Special Agent Dale Cooper. That was the moment.

Ha. Preacher season two trailer. I love that show.

I’m sorry, but no freakin’ way is my 80s boyfriend Lloyd Dobler.

And just like that, an entire hour has flown right by.

I won’t even dignify that with a response.

Wait, Barry Manilow is still alive?

I think she’s just perpetually pregnant.

Are you just applying hair spray right at your desk now? GOD.

Were you thinking evil things quietly? Evil works best quietly, I think.

Loud villainy is the bane of professional evil doers.

I’m going to say I won’t respond to your email while I’m on staycation. But we all know I will probably be lying.

Wow, that is spectacularly dumb.

She got a lot of hype and she is not living up.

That’s right. I bought the Reese’s Pieces. So what?

Don’t judge me. I didn’t go to Biggby earlier. I didn’t eat a cinnamon roll thingie.

Yeah, I’m probably not going to Random next week. Just cos Staycation + Random = not terribly interesting.

Like this is so stimulating.

That last 45 minutes might actually kill me.

I don’t even know where I was going with that.

OK that’s it. I’m not evil.

I’m just drawn that way?

That time you shoulda leaned in and kissed her, thrown caution to the wind.

14.52 you don’t know what you’re waiting for ~ timothy nelson & the infidels

(theme – shiny)

Random Wednesday

So … just don’t come here then.

Although I agree that boiling water in the microwave is something only heathens do.

And people who drink tea made from water boiled in the microwave aren’t drinking tea. They’re drinking insipid, hot, stained water. And I don’t want to know those people.

I always forget that I’m on that committee because I’m an alternate. Also I should quit.

It’s a sad world where people aren’t allowed honest mistakes. No. Every “wrong” thing you do is clearly driven by some deep seated bigoted or racist or phobic ulterior motive designed to victimize someone else. Because HEAVENS FORFEND anyone ever just make a simple, unintentional, honest error.

Harry, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just. Let it happen.

Huh.

Those crocheted yarmulkes look like boobs. I’m sorry.

Facebook wants me to celebrate my upcoming birthday with friends by creating an event. What should I call it? The “jentober celebrates another birthday by maybe having an extra Diet Dr. Pepper and refusing to do dishes” party? My friends all live too far away.

I typed fart instead of far. So there’s that.

Stop fictionalizing your life in order to garner sympathy.

I always feel like I’m trying too hard.

I just want to be part of the knitting community! That’s all I want!

But I always feel like I’m trying too hard.

Um. That globe is totally not in Haenicke Hall. It’s in Knauss.

This sweater is so perfectly cozy and warm it already needs to be de-pilled. And I just got it. It’s the perfect grandpa sweater. Perfect.

I can’t help it that I’m addicted to t-shirts. Isn’t that better than being addicted to crack or heroin or whisky or something?

Ha. True.

I am a goat girl.

You might be slightly senile, and you maybe should not be in the position that you are in.

Wow. And also that is a really short mix. But wow. Interesting choices.

I do love that Chris Isaak song though.

No one ever calls me. Except the NRA. The NRA calls me all the time.

Wow. That’s the most wrong internet quiz I’ve ever taken. But it is kind of hilarious that I got “Blane.”

Also why is that character’s name spelled Blane? It’s Blaine. WTH John Hughes?

I just realized the house that the test pilot lives in in episode 2 of the X Files is the house that Frank Black moves his family to in Millennium.

Wait. Now it feels like I’ve realized that before.

OK, but I don’t actually speak French. We’ve been over this.

I wasn’t cranky. But then people started being people. And then I was cranky.

If I call you, and you answer, don’t tell me you’re not open yet and to call back in seven minutes. Just don’t answer the fucking phone in the first place.

I feel like you need to be reminded that I am not, in fact, your secretary.

Hilarious. I never did care for Cracker Barrel.

I still haven’t found a kitchen witch.

Skip Arms has the best hair. Look at it. It’s fucking magnificent.

“Who would kill someone for ten dollars?”
“Dave.”

It’s prospective student. Not perspective student. You work at a university. How is this hard for you?

I’m having a hard time wanting to bother continuing posting to Flickr with this project.

Why is it dwarfs and not dwarves?

I really hate it when people abbreviate please to pls.

You all have beaten this horse so dead it’s nothing but a crimson stain on the floor. Move. On.

Not zee Russians.

Tell me again why I stay in higher education??

They trap you with the benefits.

I don’t appreciate being forced to voice gratitude.

I got a bad batch of Slim Jims. Curses!

No, you can’t have a refund.

Sometimes the clock in my car is correct. Sometimes it’s an hour behind. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

Institutionalized bullying.

So weird seeing such a young Mark Sheppard in this X-Files.

Wow. Just wow.

Wait. Joss Whedon is directing Batgirl??

OK. MPA it is.

But now I know how absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird.

13.52 the time traveler’s wife ~ audrey niffenegger

(theme – wet)

I’ve been lifting out the stains from the stones. Planting flowers where you’ll never find my bones.

12.52 my life as a ghost ~ tanya donelly

(theme – dream)

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