nobody here but us chickens

Category: random wednesday (page 1 of 37)

Random Wednesday

Maybe you should just stop smelling like something.

I thought “hacks” were supposed to save time.

It’s tiny Twix season!!

Holy shit, this is in Grand Rapids? Man. This house is amazing. Except for that hot tub.

I wouldn’t really want to live there though.

This Mindhunter show is pretty good.

That seems like an awfully easy way to get strangled.

“Somebody needs to slap the Ghram cracker taste out of his mouth!”

What does that even mean??

Why does my mouth taste like blood?

Most people don’t live their lives making sure they always have an alibi.

The DNA test to find out about your ancestry seems cool and tempting and all. But I bet it’s really a super secret government conspiracy to collect a vast DANA registry of American citizens.

I’m not really a joiner.

It all depends on how you’re defining the terms.

Old Goat for lunch, Old Dog for dinner. I feel like tomorrow might be trying to tell me something.

I would go see ZZ Top live. That’d be a good show.

Dude. Just get a mug from the kitchen. Stop opening your thermos to pour your stupid beverage into the tiny cup that doubles as a lid. You’re obnoxious.

Gah. I’m just torturing myself with this. I need to stop looking.

I’m going to have to plug in the ear buds or this day is going to irritate me to the point of rage.

It’s official. I just don’t love the new The National album. Sadness.

I was just sitting here thinking “Oh no! Doom! I’ve forgotten my lunch!” Then I remembered that my wonderful student staff got me food gift cards for boss’ day so I’m totally covered! Yay!

I think you might be the most beta of all the beta males I have ever encountered.



Why does my back hurt? It’s not even like normal back pain. It’s like side back pain.

Eh. We get that question all the time.

I like the theme song for Mindhunter.

I need someone like Jason Hill or Nick Cave and Warren Ellis or Buffy era Christophe Beck or Mark Snow to compose a soundtrack for my life. That’d be the coolest thing ever.

Instead, this is the soundtrack of my life right now.

Excuse me while I quietly sob in my cube.


That was such a great conversation!

That’s the problem with being hydrated.

Sorry, Quantico. I was hooked for a minute. But beating me over the head with your SJW evil rethuglicans strike again! conspiracy nonsense was just annoying.

Underwear ain’t cheap, pal.

The internet is an awful place.

The internet is a wonderful place.

I think I need a break from the world.

This is really interesting. Also I had completely forgotten about that film and now I kinda want to watch it again.


“It’s hard to be a Spock in a world full of McCoys.” Story. Of. My. Life. Now that’s a tee that I need in my wardrobe. For real.

I should thin out my tee collection. Again.



Random Wednesday

Huh. Not what I expected to find when I walked into work this morning. Thanks so much.

Sorry I’m so boring. Sheesh.

“You put on a flannel, you pick up a gun, you go out there.”

“Exploring human-robot communication.” Do you want to get Skynet? Because this is how you get Skynet.

There’s a “not-racist” handbook? Huh.

Wait. How are stirrup pants back??

“Tell us your throughts!”


Holy shit. Finally. A universal translator. So flipping cool.

Person being friendly: “Cheers!” (as a greeting)
Person who is basically a dick: “Ta what?!?!”

I think the phrase “destination wedding” is dumb. That shouldn’t even be a thing.

Also I’m so incredibly sick of hearing about your wedding. Like seriously. Stop.

A Jesus reference! I did not think that would happen.

I hate it when October feels like June.

If anything, watching Supernatural all the way through a second time has just made me love it more.

I may just start over on a third round. It sure makes the treadmill time pass quickly.

Man. Mick was really starting to grow on me. All that character development just to croak him.

‘Cept his facial hair. His weird stubble was kind of awful.

Dude. Judy Dench has a Harvey Weinstein tattoo on her ASS. WTF. And also that is a special kind of hilarious, really.

I don’t know how long I can keep my fingers crossed, really. I need a distraction.

Yeah, but that’s not entirely true. Schumpeter also said that capitalism would eventually consume itself. So. You know. There’s that.

No. I’m not it. Stop tagging me.

OK, I’m seriously lost, Quantico. Your second season is just a leetle bit over the top.

I don’t know. I think if you’ve been sexually assaulted in some way you kind of have a moral obligation to say something. I know how difficult that is. Life ain’t easy, chickens.

I wish you would all stop complaining about this rainy day. It’s glorious.

I wish you would all stop complaining about GMOs. They have saved countless lives, and are not actually harming you in any way.

I wish you all would just calm the hell down about pretty much everything. Ever.

Sammiches for everyone!

Don’t you have an office you can go to?

I really don’t care if your produce is hand sliced. That’s not really a selling point.

I don’t understand people who leave the tea bag in their tea while they’re drinking it.

One wonders why no one ever does anything about it then.

Now you can’t even share fruit with people.

How do you repair a broken jack-o-lantern?

I’m trying to decide if I should take that as a good sign or not. I don’t want to get my hopes up.

It’s just all willy nilly in here. Drives me crazy.

“delivered in a terribly genteel typeface” God, what snobs you are.

I don’t feel bad about judging people who knew what was going on or experienced what was going on who didn’t say anything. Someone should have done something.

I typed some stuff then deleted it. You don’t need to know what it was.

So many hypocrites in the world. So very many hypocrites.

Fuggit. Done talking about this. Hollywood can go screw itself.

You’re ruining my Random. I need a palate cleanser.

You never stop talking and you’re not even saying anything.

I’m pretty sure this is because of the medication. I’m pretty sure I’m not actually getting sick.

Wow. I wish I had that kind of disposable cash.

Course if I did, I’d just dispose of it in ridiculous ways. And that’s silly.

Maybe being poor is OK. Keeps you grounded. Or something.

But will they still be called Boy Scouts?

Are the Girl Scouts going to let boys in?

Will they merge and just be Scouts?


Stop using sticky notes, people. Stop. Stop Stop Stop.

Maybe I need a donut. And some cider. It’s a perfect day for donuts and cider.


That chick is treacherous.

Also I totally forgot about Bonnie.

I’m feeling kind of super crappy. DAMMIT.

I feel like pizza would be good.

I’m not even editing this. I’m too tired.

I just don’t think that chick is a very good actress.


You should really rethink that mustache, dude.


I don’t think I’d be a very good spy.

But I’d be a damn good looking one.


Random Wednesday

Ahh, that new Doc blister.

Sigh. OUCH.

“For all its flaws, the Communist revolution taught Chinese women to dream big …” All its flaws? Really? Like the actual millions of people that were murdered? Flaws?



Supernatural never mentions Jesus in all the Chuck storylines. I find that interesting.

“Sometimes we keep monsters in the back.”

I wonder how they know how much the gum on the wall weighs.

Why doesn’t God have a name like Amara does? I am enjoying this season as much as I did the first time.

These boys sure get hit over the head a lot. Seems like they’d have some pretty serious concussion consequences by now.

You are most like Abraham Lincoln! History isn’t just a hobby for you, it helps you when you are faced with important decisions. Your beliefs are never shaken even when you are faced with great adversity. You are able to sympathize with the less fortunate without feeling above them. You believe freedom and unity to be the highest virtues.

Man, do I love this tiny window.

I hate it when my feet are hot.

The passionate man is an unreliable man.” YES! Yes yes yes yes yes. Is there anything worse than emotional legislation? We need more Vulcan-Human hybrids, like me, in office.

I wasn’t sure about this outfit til I walked down for a cider this morning. Then I just felt so good about myself as I was walking. I look fantastic today, dammit.

I wore a skeleton dress yesterday and one of the students I love said I looked like Abby from NCIS and that that was awesome.

October was made just for me.

Just wish my head didn’t hurt. And I can’t even take anything. boo.

I have to say, Supernatural season 12 has not been my favorite so far.

It’s so loud in here.

How long is she going to complain at that volume? I mean honestly.

66 days to form a new habit. Hmm. Well. I’m about 4 days in. Just keep swimming I guess.

Maybe I’ll have that second cup of tea after all.

I feel like I want to brush my teeth.

I have no idea what I’m eating for lunch. As usual.

Call a taxidermist.

I don’t think I’m willing to trust the cafe’s meatloaf.

Enforcing the rules does not make me the devil. Dammit.

So wait, is this baby not, then, the Anti-Christ?

I found you an alternative. You can’t say thank you?

OMG. Stop with the “sportsball.” You’re not witty. You’re not funny. You’re just kind of a hipster douche. And I am saying that as someone who is not sports fan.

The San Juan mayor is kind of cracking me up with her t shirts.

I’m not super digging having Mary Winchester back.

I dunno. Shit accumulates when you’ve been in one place for 5 1/2 years.

Liberalism is white supremacy?” Are you even serious? Of course you are. I work at a university. I know.

This is a poem my friend Brent shared today and it is beautiful and breaks your heart just a bit.

That’s a lot of samples. Surely that’s impressive.


I love these cheap Meijer bracelets.

I do not love these earbuds.

This day deserves a bowl of Count Chocula.

Evidently as long as I can watch Supernatural while on the treadmill, I can jog for longer periods before I have to switch back to walking. Good to know.

We gotta visit that alligator farm.

I’m digging this fella. He started following me on Insta, so I checked him out. Good album. He’s probably unfollowed me by now. People tend to.

I’m not very interesting.

I’m not ordering David Lynch coffee.

Yep. Definitely a migraine. Whee.





Random Wednesday

That’s quite a drive.

No grad school? I’m gonna figure out this whole A line skirt business. Dammit. And a whole list of other crap I need to get done that I would not have had time for.

Now on to sleeve city. whee.

Hey that’s a fingernail.

Hey that’s my fingernail.

I should finish this Jonathan Haidt book. I’ve only been reading it for two years. Ish.

Phrase I’m already thoroughly sick of: “take a knee,” and variations thereof.

OMG I just don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.

People like this woman should probably seek professional psychiatric help. This level of attention seeking hysterical fear mongering is pathological.

Forget what I said about that house last week. I want this one.

Damn. There go my lunch plans. Now what.

No grad school … I should definitely write a book.

I guess I’ll get a sandwich.

This has been stuck in my head for days and I have no idea why.

OK, intrigued. Also helps that I have a ridiculous crush on Thomas Jane, despite his weird shoe thing.

Donuts!!! Thanks, Pop!

Well great. There’s a giant mess to clean up. Dammit. I don’t even know how the hell or what the hell even happened with this.

Well. There’s a plus anyway.

Statistics. SO helpful.

Dude. That is so lame. Tell me I get the free stuff then tell me just kidding it’s out of stock. Lame!

This is quite possibly the biggest knitting malfunction I have ever had. It’s salvageable, but so seriously a giant pain in the ass. Frustrating as hell, and my back is killing me from being hunched over these tiny tiny stitches.

In this shitty chair.

With my shitty posture.

Eat a donut, jentober.

I tried to read through it, but my eyes just immediately tried to close for to sleep.

Crap. crap crap crap. CRAP.

There is no way sailors in the U.S. Navy in 194whatever would have been allowed to have those beards. They really should have had clean shaven actors for that episode.

Look at this fancy empty notebook.

That spreadsheet is notable in how completely unhelpful it is. Thanks so much.

Slow ass, kinda unreliable way to kill somebody.

But what do I know?

Maybe I’ll just take the laptop home today. Work on this there. SINCE I DON’T HAVE ANY HOMEWORK!!!!!

looked just like him, but littler

“The United States Congress should pass a law requir-” Let me stop you right there.

I don’t encourage very many people to go to college.

Oh it was Order of the Good Death, not Death Salon.

I kind of wish I had some coffee right now. I don’t even know why.

I’m so happy it’s finally cooling down. I see you lurking, 80 degree day next week. You better not show your face.

I brought this sweater home, but I just don’t know if I have the energy to deal with this damn sleeve.

God I got sucked into FB scrolling for far too long there.

I don’t know why I comment. I should never comment.

Ready. To. Move. On. PLEASE.

I should have become a mechanic.

My next camera. Probably.

How do you want to be remembered?

That is definitely some fall light out there in the back 40.

Damn. My knee is not happy today at all.

OK. This sleeve is not going to knit itself. Alas.


Random Wednesday

Which I totally typed as Ransom Wednesday.

Which gives me ideas.

You may recognize that first photo from Tom Waits’ Ran Dogs album. If you’re a Waits fan, like myself.

It’s not my favorite Waits album, but it has one of my favorite Waits songs on it.

Spies? Spires? Who knows?

Gah this guy’s voice is so irritating. Chop off his head already.

I am just not feelin’ grad school at all, chickens. I don’t know if I have it in me.

I am just not built for this heat. WHERE IS MY FALL WEATHER?

I have always hated September. Also January. And March. Those are my three least favorite months.

Lunch with Pop.

wish i had a head for math so i could

That is some serious bullshit. Unfortunately it is also not remotely surprising.

Aw look at my tiny fridge! I should paint it to look like the TARDIS.

Cos I have that kind of time.

Or talent.

I prolly should just post this tomorrow.

Yes. Yes, that is wise.

My hair hurts.

Seems like it’d be hard to swim in those tails.

Also that video was making me dizzy.

Can someone bring me a Sweetwaters or a Dunkin donut and also a caramel apple cider from Biggby? Extra hot? With zip? I will love you forever and be your very best friend. Kthanksbye

Shut up, Outlook. I do not have two unread messages. Filthy liar.

Why still no eye roll response, FB? Are you afraid it’s the only one people will ever use?

Because you can never hear this enough times.

Who wants to take me to see the National in a few weeks? Anyone?

You could stop talking any time now, and it would be totally OK with me.

Ugh. Stomach. Ugh.

I always want to add an e to stomach. Stomache.

I’m pretty sure I’ve said that before.



That seems like an awfully personal question.


That does sound like a pretty awesome job, actually. I think I’d really enjoy that.

And now we wait.

Yes, I did just skip Evil Woman.

Sometimes a girl just is not in the mood.

I always answered the differently worded, but asking essentially the same thing, questions the same. That’s why I always get the “you’re an inhuman Vulcan with your crazy logic” result on those tests. The INTJ thinger thingies.

“[M]any respondents are making up their opinions – or at least editing and modifying them – as they go through the questionnaire.”

OK yeah. I’m totally OK with that. As far as ridiculous memes go.

Oh I love this house. Let’s pick it up and move it to the Compound. Of course some serious remodeling is in order. That kitchen is tiny and awful. And just say no to dropped ceilings, people.

Evidently I don’t know how to spell surveillance.

I need a cool necklace that I can wear every day that has a hidden camera in it. Can somebody help me out with that?

Here we go. I’d totally wear this watch necklace.  OK, no, it’s actually a bit larger than I’d prefer. I was thinking something more locket sized.

Yeah, I’m probably never going back.

Well maybe I am the Anti-Christ. In that case, I ought to be able to snap my bloody fingers and crush you all. Jerks.

“Tell me what you want to do …” No. Stop being so bossy. It’s none of your business, Outlook!

Yeah, that just seems messy. This is a bad idea.

I love my little fridge.

I need another power strip.

I wish Matt Berninger would cut his damn hair. He looks so much better with short hair.

How the hell did I end up with all these Combos, Allison? You want me to get fatter, don’t you?

now you’re messin with a

general chronic awareness

I do love a good poncho.

I don’t even know where that is.

I didn’t want to go to your stupid meeting anyway.

DEAR GOD stop making that noise. I may vomit.

I’m pretty sure that that is not a reliable test of IQ.

I don’t think anyone has ever called me striking before. So that was nice.

This is not as funny as I was hoping it would be at all.


OK. OK OK OK OK. I’ll just take my evil and go home.


Random Wednesday

There’s an archive photo for you.

Once again, forgot it was Wednesday til I woke up this morning.

At 4:10.

For the second day in a row.

Why is it legooms and not legyoums?

sarcastic pagoda

18 1 11

“Odessa. I tried to keep a clean house.”

I woke up to the sound of a hot air balloon that day.

I never believed that Diane really existed.

I can listen to Nebraska and love it every five or six years and completely hate it the rest of the time.

It’s no secret I didn’t vote for Trump, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t approve of some of the changes he’s making. This one, in particular, is one I’ve really been looking forward to. The ridiculously broad application of Title IX and the blatant denial of due process is infuriating. I’m happy to see it scaled back. Frankly, I think Title IX should be eliminated entirely.

Fancy Med School pen is actually cheap and has blue ink. Lame.

Trust me when I tell you that not everyone you meet is looking for a brief recitation of your current CV.

Literally no one cares.

The Bobbys are surly.

Hey. If a girl wants to serve a cup of coffee in a bikini, seems to me like that’s her business.

Oh God, it’s a staff meeting day.

Pray for my soul.

tiny tiny tiny stitches

magic vagina dust

Who are these people?


I don’t understand whipped cream on waffles instead of syrup. Or even in addition to syrup.

Wait, did I read one of these already?

Why can’t I have a job in political theory? That’s my strong suit.

I don’t like data.

I LOVE almost all of Sleep Well Beast. It’s not as strong an album for me as High Violet or Alligator.

I know exactly what you’re talking about and I take zero responsibility for the total lack of communication on the part of your superstar. Instead of praising her and bashing us, perhaps you should be offerings some criticism her way as well.

I’m soooooooooooooo sleepy.

I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Stay home and out of the world.

Try to tell a funny story, get taken seriously. Retreat to cave.

Honestly. There is no reason for you not to have uploaded that reading yet. Come on.

I always read light housekeeper as lighthouse keeper.

Wow, I got all sidetracked and forgot I was doing this.


I could totally be elections boss for the state of Michigan. For reals.

el oh el

I love that show. It’s so awesome.


Don’t call it COTUS. That’s just weird.

I have no memory of this person.

I ain’t no

Adult beverages, food, politics. T-minus 29 minutes.

Copy editor at CATO? That’s like a dream job. I bet it pays crap and I’d have to move to D.C.

Excuse me while I cry a little.

Sorry, Knit Stars is just a little too spendy for me.

Also I’m all faded and speckled out. Also brioched. I’m ready for the new trend, thanks.

Are you gone yet? Can I lock this door now?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with Johnnie Walker.


Random Wednesday

I’m reasonably certain custodial is going to lock me in the office again.


OK, I’m in.

I read that as “Locally purchase. Even dry.” That is not what it said.

This guy is a loon. And clearly not capable of complex or nuanced thought. Or any kind of logic.

I still don’t get that one.

What the hell, bus?

OMG Stop saying “fair enough” to everything. You literally just used it 3 times in under a minute. Stop the insanity.

You are a grown ass man. Stop saying “for funsies.”

What a ridiculously busy morning. Sheesh.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy are people so loud?

And now we wait.

Nice try, dude. But I’m not going to do it for you.

Just so you know, I am not actually your personal secretary, and I cannot actually make your students read their emails OR the course catalog.

It’s on page two.

It is, indeed, a bold move.

Photo credit: God.

I think this scanner thing is dying on me. Because why not?

Wait. Is she wearing mascara? She’s like 10!

ARGH. Is it going to bloody rain or not?

Is that a no?

the ghost in you she cuts you up in the silence of your room

The little I saw of that Caitlin Jenner interview with Norm Macdonald was really interesting.

I would run out of glitter really fast.


I’m actually looking forward to an entire day of brain probing Friday. Because it is not here.

Wh. H. How. How is that even possible??

Do you want all these coupons?

Well that’s a ridiculous argument.

Why do I have to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life? Why is that even a thing?

I was going to share a really funny thing with you, but the link only seems to work on my phone. So I won’t.

Yes, pizza. Duh.

No mail. Sadness.

Why are you so bossy? It makes me not want to help you.

want to

I can’t get this stupid app to take this stupid coupon code. Stupid.

I wonder if she’s ever going to

No more mimosas for you, missy.

Why do I have to tell the QuickTime updater thingie to close 47 times before it actually does?

where is my mind. where. is.


Random Wednesday

It’s not “Trump’s America.” It wasn’t “Obama’s America” and it wasn’t “Bush’s America” and it wasn’t any other president’s America. It’s OUR America. And the sooner everybody starts taking responsibility for their contribution to OUR America, the better. Grow the hell up.

Whatever. I knit in public all the time.

Oh France. Bless your heart.

My bangs are only the perfect length for about two weeks. The rest of the time they’re either too short or too long.

I’m reasonably certain I’d have a good 25% less head pain if you’d just stop trying to hide the fact that you’re a smoker by dousing yourself in cheap ass perfume that everyone thinks is stinky anyway.

I hate Doppelcooper’s hair.

I wish this was a real book.

“These days, being called a “white supremacist” is only different from being called a witch in that they don’t even bother dunking you in the river before declaring you guilty.”

Bitches about “anti-intellectualism,” uses tenant when he means tenet.

I really only ever wanted to be one of the cool kids. And that’s just never gonna happen.

I wish I were more likeable, but I’m just not.

I need to quit the internet.

I am not even looking at you right now.


What? It’s a very menacing hand dryer.

Perfect score on the Norwegian American quiz. Duh.

It’s like watching a live action bobble head. Jesus.

I just cannot.

I’ve unsubscribed from so many emails in the last week. It’s awesome. I need to do more.

And THIS RIGHT HERE is why I need departments to notify me of the gorram CRNs they assign to us. So we can avoid these exact problems.

Thanks so much for adding an extra 30 minutes to Stormageddon’s bus ride every day. P.S. I hate you.

I’m so cantankerous.

And also unlikeable.

One complication after another.

I need more dental floss.

I am going to read this book on campus censorship and wave the white flag until the universe stops kicking me.

Thanks, Facebook. I know how unfriending works.

Yes, and that message is “Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.”

I don’t even know how to respond to you. Obviously I wouldn’t have said anything if I couldn’t smell it.

I just don’t think anyone would even notice if I did.

I don’t even know who Joel Osteen is.

Linda Sarsour, on the other hand. Still a despicable human being.

Why am I hungry? I really don’t think I should be hungry right now.

Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day. Hello. How are you? Have a nice day.

I like stories like this. He’s a good egg.

You see what happens? You try to be nice to someone and it just blows up in your face.


That’s when you kick them out of the house and lock the door. Then go back in 30 minutes to see if anyone needs stitches.

Hashtag Mom of the Year

I miss you, Rollinghead. Also I miss my Daddyhorse CD, which I cannot find anywhere, and that makes me very sad.

Also I was at that show. That was a great show.

I think Exec Ass is hilarious. You should just leave the T off Asst and go with it. I wonder if anyone would even notice.

Today has been stupid and I need to GTFOI.



Random Wednesday

“It ain’t all burritos and strippers, my friend.”

I am well and truly trapped here for the duration. SIGH.

Copy-editing PDFs is a pain in the ass.

Pamela Anderson looks pretty fantastic without all that make up.

Honestly. Who thinks lemonade and cookies taste good together? How is this a thing?

“Which fictional antihero is your soul mate?” Batman.

Well duh. I didn’t need an internet quiz to tell me that.

“The speakers on the Common bandstand were kept from being heard. They were blocked off with a 225-foot buffer zone, segregated beyond earshot. Police barred anyone from approaching to hear what the rally speakers had to say. Reporters were excluded, too. Result? The free-speech rally took place in a virtual cone of silence. Participants ‘spoke essentially to themselves for about 50 minutes,’ the Globe reported. ‘If any of them said anything provocative, the massive crowd did not hear it.'”

carpet cleaning.

splitting headache.

two hour Mediasite training.

and now my phone has kicked the bucket.


Wait, I’m the only one registered for this workshop AGAIN?

more sigh.

I’m fucking cursed.

I give up.

I wish it were raining.

I wish it was.

OK. Moving on. Sorry, it was just this sort of hurricane of crap all of a sudden.


I have the Kitchens of Distinction stuck in my head now.

Hey Mediasite training was only 15 minutes. Guess I’m super glad I was the only one registered. I got the info I needed and we were done. There’s a bright spot in this craptastic day.

I’m going to Dr. Hooks now.

Great. No one has pay phones any more. I had to borrow a credit union’s Google because Dr. Hooks moved and I didn’t know it.

I deserved a Den Pop. I stopped.

Fucking day.

Unrelenting pain.

“The road to hell is paved with reasonable exceptions.”

Just when you start to think good things about the ACLU …

Some pretty powerful images.

I’ve never actually considered Joss Whedon to be a feminist. And despite my love of his work, I have long considered him to be an asshole.

Well duh it’s Darcy. Like any other Austen fellow would be my man.

These internet quizzes. Sheesh.

Wow. That whole letter was, “We all have the right to free speech. Except these people. These people best shut the fuck up.” Progressive fascism, alive and well.

“Someone, somewhere, is always getting mad about everything.” Pretty much.

Total lack of self awareness.

This is fantastic and I love it.

Pink had another baby?

Look, I’d love to buy that super cute skirt, but I just can’t right now.

Google has already shipped my replacement phone! Yay!

Here’s what you’re not getting – this is all extraneous information that the vendor neither needs nor cares about. Why are you even here?


Oh, right. I’m having breakfast for dinner. I decided this ten minutes ago and then completely forgot it.

This day, man.

Dammit. Why didn’t I write this down? I have no memory of what I did.

How fun!

Boy, Humphrey Bogart sure was a handsome man.


Oh these are awesome.

Whatever cop shot that tear gas canister totally hit that dude in the balls on purpose, and I think it’s frigging hilarious.

OK. What is all the damn screaming about now?

Wait. I wasn’t ready for that.



Random Wednesday

Fill up the shopping cart with yarn. X the tab. Sigh. I wanna do the hipster knit along though. Despite the name. Even though it’s s’posed to be funny. I think. Sigh.

Worth reading. Wish I felt like I could share it widely.

What the hell is indecent assault?

Who among us does not need one of these, ladies?


hashtag virtue signal

Do we have to call it “training”? Can’t we just call it what it is? Re-education. Indoctrination.

It’s been a minute since I’ve felt this level of visceral hatred for this place and these people. But holy shit. It hit me hard today.

There is a direct correlation between my pain level and this place.



This Tylenol isn’t going to help. I don’t know why I bother.

Well I didn’t want to talk to you either.

I think asking me to stop referring to my husband as my “husband” is disrespectful of our preferences. I don’t want any part of your agenda.

Why won’t you let me leave you alone?

I have so little to say today. There’s nothing in my head today. The  pain is drowning out my thoughts.

I don’t actually like Star Wars. There. I said it.

I don’t like Game of Thrones either.

If you take a job as a delivery person for a business whose customer base is primarily on campus, you probably ought to familiarize yourself with campus.

This course is stupid.

I hate everything this week.

Almost everything.

Um. Strangling someone with your bare hands doesn’t really qualify as an “accident, I didn’t mean to do it.”

I have integrity coming out of my ears, I tells ya!

I’ve been trying to read this article for two days.

Darn. I was kind of looking forward to getting out of here for a minute. Especially because East Campus is my favorite. I wish I worked over there.

Maybe my school will need a me soon. My school is over there. Public Affairs.

Yeah. Right.

The only solution is more caffeine.

Unless it’s less caffeine.

I keep checking and there is just a whole lot of nothing.

Why don’t we just go ahead and tear down all the statues. No statues anywhere. That way no one is ever offended.

Except the people who are offended that there are no statues.

I guess there’s no pleasing everyone.

Sorry, but waving a Nazi flag, as disgusting as that may be, is not the equivalent of incitement. It’s free speech. Just like waving the communist flag is free speech. Waving the American flag is free speech. Free speech is free speech. Either support it or forever shut the fuck up about anything you believe in.

This is among the dumber things I’ve seen today.

‘Speech that demeans on the basis of race, ethnicity, gender, religion, age, disability, or any other similar ground is hateful; but the proudest boast of our free speech jurisprudence is that we protect the freedom to express “the thought that we hate.”’


“A law found to discriminate based on viewpoint is an “egregious form of content discrimination,” which is “presumptively unconstitutional.” … A law that can be directed against speech found offensive to some portion of the public can be turned against minority and dissenting views to the detriment of all. The First Amendment does not entrust that power to the government’s benevolence. Instead, our reliance must be on the substantial safeguards of free and open discussion in a democratic society.”

Wow. I’m cranky.

Just to be clear, I hate Nazis just as much as you do. So don’t go reading anything into what I’m posting here. Don’t be that asshole.

I can’t smell that God awful air freshener if I hold my head at an uncomfortable angle in my cube. Yay.


working working working

I wish I had a Den pop.

And millions and millions and millions of dollars.

Doll hairs.

Dolls are creepy.

I wish the openable part of my window was larger. I could use more of that breeze blowing through here.

I should have worn my glasses instead of contacts again today.

Way to follow directions, kid. Bravo.

Gaaaaah why don’t they do something better with Erin’s hair? She’s so pretty and her hair is so blah. It’s so dry and the color is weird and it’s all flat and listless. I feel sorry for her.

Damn. I thought it was about 25 minutes later than it is. That super sucks.

I want it back.

I can’t help it if I sigh a lot. I quite often feel like I need a big gulp of air. It’s not attitude. It’s survival.



just kidding.

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