nobody here but us chickens

Category: random wednesday (page 1 of 36)

Random Wednesday

Fill up the shopping cart with yarn. X the tab. Sigh. I wanna do the hipster knit along though. Despite the name. Even though it’s s’posed to be funny. I think. Sigh.

Worth reading. Wish I felt like I could share it widely.

What the hell is indecent assault?

Who among us does not need one of these, ladies?


hashtag virtue signal

Do we have to call it “training”? Can’t we just call it what it is? Re-education. Indoctrination.

It’s been a minute since I’ve felt this level of visceral hatred for this place and these people. But holy shit. It hit me hard today.

There is a direct correlation between my pain level and this place.



This Tylenol isn’t going to help. I don’t know why I bother.

Well I didn’t want to talk to you either.

I think asking me to stop referring to my husband as my “husband” is disrespectful of our preferences. I don’t want any part of your agenda.

Why won’t you let me leave you alone?

I have so little to say today. There’s nothing in my head today. The  pain is drowning out my thoughts.

I don’t actually like Star Wars. There. I said it.

I don’t like Game of Thrones either.

If you take a job as a delivery person for a business whose customer base is primarily on campus, you probably ought to familiarize yourself with campus.

This course is stupid.

I hate everything this week.

Almost everything.

Um. Strangling someone with your bare hands doesn’t really qualify as an “accident, I didn’t mean to do it.”

I have integrity coming out of my ears, I tells ya!

I’ve been trying to read this article for two days.

Darn. I was kind of looking forward to getting out of here for a minute. Especially because East Campus is my favorite. I wish I worked over there.

Maybe my school will need a me soon. My school is over there. Public Affairs.

Yeah. Right.

The only solution is more caffeine.

Unless it’s less caffeine.

I keep checking and there is just a whole lot of nothing.

Why don’t we just go ahead and tear down all the statues. No statues anywhere. That way no one is ever offended.

Except the people who are offended that there are no statues.

I guess there’s no pleasing everyone.

Sorry, but waving a Nazi flag, as disgusting as that may be, is not the equivalent of incitement. It’s free speech. Just like waving the communist flag is free speech. Waving the American flag is free speech. Free speech is free speech. Either support it or forever shut the fuck up about anything you believe in.

This is among the dumber things I’ve seen today.

‘Speech that demeans on the basis of race, ethnicity, gender, religion, age, disability, or any other similar ground is hateful; but the proudest boast of our free speech jurisprudence is that we protect the freedom to express “the thought that we hate.”’


“A law found to discriminate based on viewpoint is an “egregious form of content discrimination,” which is “presumptively unconstitutional.” … A law that can be directed against speech found offensive to some portion of the public can be turned against minority and dissenting views to the detriment of all. The First Amendment does not entrust that power to the government’s benevolence. Instead, our reliance must be on the substantial safeguards of free and open discussion in a democratic society.”

Wow. I’m cranky.

Just to be clear, I hate Nazis just as much as you do. So don’t go reading anything into what I’m posting here. Don’t be that asshole.

I can’t smell that God awful air freshener if I hold my head at an uncomfortable angle in my cube. Yay.


working working working

I wish I had a Den pop.

And millions and millions and millions of dollars.

Doll hairs.

Dolls are creepy.

I wish the openable part of my window was larger. I could use more of that breeze blowing through here.

I should have worn my glasses instead of contacts again today.

Way to follow directions, kid. Bravo.

Gaaaaah why don’t they do something better with Erin’s hair? She’s so pretty and her hair is so blah. It’s so dry and the color is weird and it’s all flat and listless. I feel sorry for her.

Damn. I thought it was about 25 minutes later than it is. That super sucks.

I want it back.

I can’t help it if I sigh a lot. I quite often feel like I need a big gulp of air. It’s not attitude. It’s survival.



just kidding.


Random Wednesday

I feel like crap.

The only thing they seem to be doing to these roads is laying down layer upon layer of gravel. It’s frigging annoying.

Does anyone else hate Tammy?

Seriously. When did SPAM get so weird?

I don’t know how I did not know this beautiful thing existed, but clearly I need a membership.

How is it that I can’t keep an air plant alive? How is that even possible?

At least my children are still breathing.

I know this makes me some kind of heretic or something, but I really just don’t think I like Felicia Day.

It’s Monday right now. Still feeling craptastic. How is it even possible for a human being to be this tired?

Yeah, still can’t stand Wil Wheaton either. He seriously creeps me out. Also, how is it that he can look that thoroughly smug 24 hours a day? It’s like he had his face surgically altered to reflect his belief that he is inherently superior to the rest of mankind.

Also that beard is awful.

I may not live through CPR recertification this week.

I’m gonna have that damn Stones song stuck in my head for the rest of my life now.

Pardon me, but I believe that is my lung.

The room with all the leaves.

Wow. That is not what I expected to see. Horrifyingly hilarious.

This Diet Pepsi is deeply disappointing my taste buds right now.

Now it’s Tuesday. It’s like Random Wednesday – Extended Dance Mix or something.

I, too, would love to walk my children out to our garden each morning and watch with my quiet perfect mom joy as they choose their own vegetables for their healthy organic breakfast smoothie, Genevieve Padalecki, except that the only people who live that ridiculous reality are ridiculously rich famous moms (and I bet half of you are lying). The rest of us are lucky if we can get them to eat a vegetable once a year.

But maybe that’s just me.

Lifestyle blogs kill me. Your lifestyle would drive me batty.

Fit all columns on one page.

You are far too preachy for me, thanks.

No, I don’t need something, thank you.

I’m 100% sure that that will not solve the problem. But that’s none of my business.

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

Go ahead, pad your numbers. I care not a whit!

Sorry, I am exempt from your voluntelling me to help with this.

And now it’s Wednesday again. Back where we started. Well.

And now I have four bloody hours of CPR/AED re-certification. How the hell does it take four hours to RE-certify??

I seriously don’t remember my original certification even taking that long.

Wow, that really took four whole hours. On the plus, it did not seem to drag. And now I can totally save your life. Or your kid’s life. Or your baby’s life. Probably.

I’ve sent you that list at least once already. Come on now.

“Cisgendered .. It’s a way of marginalizing a normal person.”

For as many days as this has stretched out, there is not that much here.

Where is my sammich?

I love the theme music to Poldark. I love any theme music that is primarily violin. Millennium. Angel. It’s all so poignant and melancholy and a little dark but just an eensy bit hopeful.

Man I miss Millennium.

And also Angel.

Only have to

Written in my own heart’s blood with a chainsaw.

Hang on, Frances!


I bloody knew as soon as he started turning his life around that they were going to kill him off.

They’ve just had the exact, almost verbatim conversation, 5 times in the last 10 minutes. I’m not even kidding.

If I was a famous lady, I’d have Hogan McLaughlin design all my red carpet rags. Swoon.

I need a Fringe Porter Bin. Army Green.

Gah. I need two extra days off for this crap.

I had started reading this woman’s article quite a while back, got distracted, never finished, and lost it. It suddenly popped up again, so I’m sharing.

OK, I’m hanging it up.


just kidding.


Random Wednesday

It’s 10:30 and I haven’t written a word.

In my defense I was in the longest staff meeting EVER.

That Jody Allard woman? She is a monster. My heart hurts so much for her sons. Those poor boys.

And just like that I feel like watching the Kevin Costner Robin Hood again. So weird.

don’t look to a stranger

I wish I knew shorthand.

I thought that said “Lonely Knits for Little Girls”. That is not what it said.

I think I hate you, Windows 10.

This is an incredible house if you can get past all the creepy MANNEQUINS.

I want a witch window!

I’m sorry, Canadia. Normally I stay outta your bidness, but this really bothers me.

“These kids today with their texting and murder.”

Goodreads? Why the HELL would I be subscribed to the ROMANCE newsletter???

I’m reasonably certain I did not ask for that.

I kinda feel like going to Old Goat for lunch.

I wish Pop was here for lunch.

I don’t think I need any more stationery, but thanks.

Huh. I do this all the time. Well not all the time. But a lot. If you could see my Flickr account, you’d know that.

I don’t know how you expect me to remember a login I only use once a year.

My unicorn is broken. Sadness.

I don’t think I’ve ever used the word dossier in conversation before.

Thanks for completely ruining the clone stamp and healing brush Photoshop.

Wow. This stupid Windows 10 machine just rebooted without my permission, and I thought for sure I’d lost every word of this. I did not. Yay!

If I had, you’d have no Random today.

That lunch was definitely not at all adequate.


I don’t know if I can talk to you ever gain. You just used the phrase “me and bae”.

I should probably make an appointment with my neurologist.

I don’t really like my neurologist.

I’m 99% sure he’s a high functioning sociopath. Like I’d be willing to put money on it.

Not my neurologist. He can barely speak human.

I think I just ran out of fucks about today. It’s possible.

Now I feel like I need to read this Hillbilly Elegy and I don’t even know what the hell it’s about.

I like those thingers.

What is this one? CS6? No CC 2017. I’ve never used that one.

What a snoozefest.

You might want to consider a diet plan of some kind. You’re going to have a stroke or a heart attack or something.

I don’t pay any attention to that stuff and my cholesterol is just fine.

I did not go to Old Goat for lunch.

It never rained today. It was supposed to rain today.

It literally started raining as I hit enter on that sentence. I’m magic.

Even better than ads on Instagram? Telling Instagram three frigging times that a particular ad is not relevant to me and they still run it in my feed.

You’ve ruined Instagram! RUINED.


I wonder if famous people get ad free Instagram. Like that’s an option if you have a “verified account” or something. I would pay a subscription rate to get rid of the ads. Instagram is my zen. These ads are really messing with my whole process of getting my head back to something resembling smoothness.

What? I said resembling.

Yes. Yes, this is going to turn into a full on migraine.

almost blue, almost doin’ things we

A cactus seemed appropriate.


Random Wednesday

Here’s an old photo for you, since I failed to find a photo for this week.

I forgot about some things.

I very nearly forgot today is Wednesday.

I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a spiral escalator.

Um. Guys? An apple “farm” is called an orchard. Who wrote this??

I don’t want to pay 3 bux an episode to watch season 3 of Broadchurch. Just stick it on Netflix already.

Wow, that is foul.

I’m having one of those periods when I feel like I’ve just utterly run out of things to say.

Not that kind of period. Period of time.

It’s just you.

Seems like nobody’s talking to me lately.

Who the hell is Riley Dennis?

Of all the things happening in the world today, I find it endlessly hilarious that this campus is making national news because of goats.

Thanks for destroying my Instagram zen with the sudden bombardment of ads every three photos, you bastards.

Well. I don’t know how “fun” that was, but OK.

I am waaaaaaaaay too sleepy for the meeting I have this afternoon. No idea how I’m going to pull this off.

My hair is nothing but frizz today. Would it have really killed the universe to allow me a good hair day today?

At least we still

Huh. These are some interesting purchases. That’d be a handy booklight if I didn’t have to plug it into a USB port.

I should not be able to hear you crunching on that all the way over here.

If hearing is my superpower, it’s a sucky super power.

It’s so humid in here I’m sticking to my desk.

I’d rather have a sticker than a window cling. My windows are tinted. No one can see this thing.

It’s slightly different.

I need a shawl I can knit and not pay attention to.

Actually, I imagine I’ll be cranking out shawls like crazy again once the semester starts. I can’t read and not do anything with my hands.

I need some lucky rocket ship underpants.

Look at this fancy new hoodie. Whee.

Those people are constantly sending emails with broken links. You’d think they’d catch on by now.

Drop cloth = run. Check.

Still waiting for the nerves to hit, but mostly feeling pretty zen, really.


It’s nice that you designers can work with yarn companies to write patterns for TWENTY EIGHT DOLLAR A SKEIN yarn. Us little people can’t afford that kind of foolishness.

Don’t stand a chance.

I think she forgot. It’s possible.

I could use a snack.

Wow. That email confused the hell out of me.

Who says “notepad paper”?

I’m purposely trying to be less speedy. It’s a conscious decision.

Add lots of exclamation points. People will think you’re very happy. No one has to know that it’s a lie.

Sheesh. I have like 437 Word docs open.

I need to start planning the Christmas card.

I need to come up with my Halloween costume.

I need a vacation.

I. Need. A. Vacation.


Random Wednesday

This mustache is peeling off.


If I were going outside the U.

I should not be able to taste your god awful perfume.

Season 6, episode 15, The French Mistake, might just be my favorite episode ever. It’s so brilliantly hilarious.

You’re just not very good at writing copy. I’m sorry.

Ha. 31 flavors of crazy. I’m going to have to use that.

Very much my thinking on the topic.

Man. There’s just so much shit that can kill you in a garage. I can never watch those scenes.

Johnnie Walker Blue on the grave. Expensive send off. I don’t even have a bottle of Blue in my own cupboard.

Universally unlikable.

Well, I disagree. Not respectfully though. I don’t really have any respect for you to speak of.

Well. That formality is out of the way.

It’s so quiet. It’s like heaven.


I should just take a break.

Maybe the last Saturday in July would work.

I’m so sleeeeeeepy. I wish it wasn’t so hot. I’d take a walk. A walk in this heat would just make me sleepier.

Bless me!

Sure ya are.

I think it’s different. But I am not entirely sure.

how and why to

Oh, it’s for that … doohickey.

I can’t keep this crap straight.

I don’t know why this day won’t end. I have no answers for you.

Whee more training. This will be useful though. I just wish it wasn’t two hours long.

It’s probably good that I don’t have local friends. I’d probably suck at it.

I don’t think a literature review, by itself, should stand as a full thesis. I think it needs to be more involved than that.

Yes, well. They would, wouldn’t they?

I must learn to do things so very much slower.

Gonna try listening to this David Lynch audio book. At least it’s him reading it. It’s like listening to Gordon Cole. That’s alright with me.

The Suffocating Rubber Clown Suit of Negativity

That is, by far, the dumbest internet quiz I’ve ever seen.

I’ve already lost track of what Lynch is saying. This is my problem with audio books. I suddenly realize that I’ve stopped listening.

Distracting from my path of discovery.

I’m glad that road is open again so I can get back to my usual parking spot.

It’s flipping freezing in here.

It’s all fragments for me too, David. Me too.

I wish I hadn’t caved.

I’ma transcend this office and right to my house.

Great, now I want a donut.


Random Wednesday

I guess I’m the wrong kind of alien.

Season 6 with the weird Campbell hunter clan is one of my least favorite story lines. If only because the characters are so extremely unlikeable. They ALL seem soulless. I just. Ick. Run away, Dean!

OMG stop saying “perfect!” every time someone says something to you or hands you something.

I would like a new tattoo.

i don’t wanna be buried in a

Maybe I’ll just delete that.

I should take up meditation.

And go back to yoga.

And also zumba, because who doesn’t love to dance?

I saw that.

Huh. Maybe I could make that. For far less than $130. Maybe.

I would like some local friends.

I need to finish this test so I can get back to work on that pattern.

Then again, this is my brain …

This skirt is kind of static clingy.

Those are all the letters I never sent you.

I read that as “your Lynda history will be terminated.” That’s not at all what it says.

Definitely need that meditation book.

Working my way through this. I have to set aside a lot of eye rolling at some of the things in there, but there was a really great section on separating observation from evaluation that I think I need to keep in mind.

Why does it smell like a campfire in here?

OK quick! Everybody say the exact thing I just said.

letting go letting go letting go letting go letting go

I used to get so irritated when celebrities dabbled in photography, got a book deal, and the rest of us just slogged away. Now I really am pretty zen about it. Who cares? At least he’s doing something creative with his time instead of trashing hotel rooms or partying all night at clubs. (Of course, maybe he is and I just don’t know, but whatever.) Leave him alone. Plus he’s donating all the profits. That’s character.

Ah-ha! That answers the campfire question.

OMG so many chickens.

I dreamed you had a pet squirrel. Named Bobbie Gentry.”

I can’t even force myself to read this stuff. Sheesh.

That level of cheerfulness is wholly unnatural.

Yeah, that is not at all the same thing.

Well, I guess I wouldn’t want to talk to me either.

This four day weekend is taking entirely too long about getting here.

Holy wow. I could so live here. So beautiful.

I just don’t understand. If it’s really that much of an inconvenience to write me a letter of recommendation, why did you offer to do it in the first place?

Huh. I really always thought there was an h in exorbitant. Wacky.

Can I escape for a minute?


Can I make this font smaller?


“Want to sleep in a bit more this summer?” How about ever, lady.

Ooph. This boy.

I have no memory of liking Megyn Kelly on FB.

Wow, I sort of expected a larger selection.

Well, that was a weird little rabbit hole …

I dunno. I can almost always eat pizza. Let’s be honest.

Remember to reset. You’ll probably forget.

Pizza it is.


Random Wednesday

I actually forgot it was Wednesday til just this minute.

This photo’s not so old. I did not have time to do anything with photos last night so …

It’s still just a fifth wheel. I do like the design elements though. I’d love those floors in my house. And the stair storage is dreamy.

John Lithgow still creepin’ me out.

I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to find my zen. Dammit.

I had nothing to lose, so I went for it. What the hell.

I have no motivation. At all.

Jesus. Who pays $180 for a tea kettle?

What is wrong with my eye today?

Maybe I need a Biggby. Maybe.

I don’t have anyone to share my BOGO coupon with. That’s kind of sad.

I should just gut my house. Get rid of all the crap. Well not all of it. A lot of it. I need a giant dumpster.

I tried watching the Chris Isaak Show again, and it just has not held up for me, despite my love for Chris.

My chair is making weird noises. It’s probably haunted.

I think I might be feeling melancholy today.

Hello, protein shake. Why can you not taste more like a donut?

More caffeine please.

how dead is dead

I wasn’t there. I don’t know what happened.

I have never even heard of that band.

There may be something to this fanny pack rebirth.

Wow. This was literally a deleted scene from Fire Walk With Me. Hilarious.

Man. Facebook makes me tired.

I really just don’t want to proofread your crap anymore. Find someone else to do it.


Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is this day not over yet? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Those aren’t platforms, they’re wedges.

I would like to go away and never come back now please.

This just in: Hipster mom thinks she invented the staycation.

Peas are awful. Because they are.

You should rethink that stache, dude.

Is that retirement deal tomorrow?

I do love me some Americana.


That sounds like a euphemism. But it isn’t.

It’ll be here Friday.

I am a little on the hungry side.

I’m not at all interesting today.

One leather jacket, one Sasquatch.


Random Wednesday

Here’s a photo from the archive on account of I forgot to get something together last night.

I almost forgot it was Wednesday!

This is all much more complicated than I was expecting.

Dude. You don’t have to smash the cell phone if you took the sim card out.

Why does it have those teeth if all it does is suck souls? That seems a little unnecessary.

I love this show. I do. But damn, Sam can be pretty whiny.

They should’ve poured some cement in there first. Then buried it.

I’m just not that into Wonder Woman, to be honest.

I hate orientation.

That is not how you spell forest, dude.

Nothin’ I like more than some good old fashioned forced indoctrination.

I actually would not mind going to this concert at all.

Duh. That does not answer the question I asked. I already knew that. That is not helpful.

Yeah, they call that a “half bath.” It’s not complicated.

Just because I’m not with you doesn’t mean I’m against you.

This better work. Dammit.

Sorry! Just have to run to the loo! BRB!

I love June. No staff meetings in June.

Nice headband, sugar.

It is not a dead chicken.

I wish everyone would read this book.

Do you even know how to Skype? Because I will not be here to help you with that.

It certainly solves the problem of what to eat for lunch.

For the record, I never had any bizarre cravings like that either time I was pregnant.

I guess it’s gonna be short. I dunno.

These are some kinda flat, weird, super crunchy, delicious pretzel things.

I will succeed your expeditions.

I may also secede them.

Oh I should take this Zamyatin up north with me next week.

Where did my Star Trek stamp bookmark go?

Could you please write my letters of recommendation please?

I am not caught up with you yet. Hush.

Damn, rock on Courtney Love.

OK. Must find baby birds now.

cheep cheep.


Random Wednesday

What the hell even. I mean Wally Brando?? It’s too much. Too too much.

Man. The “needle in a stack of needles” metaphor is so played out. Come up with something else. Like … “a pine tree in a pine forest” or … I don’t know. Something. You’re writers. Figure it out.

I’ll be the first to admit I have too much crap. But living like this? No. What a cold, unwelcoming, box completely void of personality. No thank you.

The most misspelled word in the state of Michigan is pneumonia. How completely random. And also there are far harder words to spell.

I really need to learn how to make my own skirts. Damn.

I am clearly incapable of making any kind of decision at this moment.

Maybe I should delete everything from it except the #littlejustintimberlake photos.

I’m just not sure that anyone should bring the Animaniacs back.

Wow. No one thinks my typos are that entertaining. Well. Sometimes I do.

It is possible I might be a tad cranky.

I don’t need my picture in the local paper.

I think Kathy Griffin looked like a man in drag in that photo. Of course, now people are talking about her, which is exactly what she was after, I’m sure. To somehow be relevant.


That truck doesn’t even have Michigan plates on it.

I think you’re missing my point.

I haven’t seen any ghosts lately.

No, it’s OK. I don’t even care at all. Really.

I need a new tattoo.

But. It’s not complete. How can you send me an email telling me it’s complete when it is not at all complete?

It’s a rare day when I find myself agreeing with Conyers and Jackson Lee, but here we are.

I could sleep for 3 days. Probably.

I think everyone is missing my point, actually.

I don’t know. Hiddleston is too young for me. Probably.


Holy wow, I had no idea what time it was.

“Obliterate credit card debt with this credit card.”

It looked like construction was finished. Is it safe to assume that it is indeed finished? Is it safe to assume that if I drive home that way I won’t be stuck under the damn overpass for 25 minutes? IS IT???

Oh, I just noticed the owl cookie jar in Doug E’s kitchen thanks to that Kyle McLachlan post.

I don’t know. I was pretty chill about this growing my gray out, but I think I’ve lost my chill. It’s starting to bug me. I might succumb to the urge to dye. I may not be able to stop myself.

Dammit. I was not planning a trip to the grocery store. I was planning a trip to my tea kettle.


Random Wednesday

Flashing cursor. Exciting.

Expertise vs experience …

I have never actually seen this film. I don’t even know how that’s possible.

There are Johnny Cash socks?? Why don’t I have any Johnny Cash socks???

OK, this is kind of funny.

Wow. You can’t treat people like that and expect them to have any kind of respect for you at all. What a total dick move. Zero class.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure there’s somethin’ in Fitchburg worth killin’.”

These Triscuits might have gotten stale while I was gone.

Man, my spam these days is straight up menacing.

It’s pretty impressive. It also creeps me out. Also the construction of it completely fascinates me.


I had no idea that this would be so complicated.

Is this archive feature on Instagram new? I am intrigued.

And that is why I do not like you.

No, it’s OK. Really. I don’t need to be thanked or anything.

I forgot I was FB friends with you, John Marr. But it’s funny that you popped up in my feed because I was literally just thinking about Murder Can Be Fun yesterday. On account of this Disney book someone just gave me. Ha.

Holy wow do I not want to attend this meeting.

Splitting headache. Boring meeting. Whoo! My afternoon is shaping up to awesome!

How do I keep messing this sleeve up? I just do not understand what the hell I am doing. I just can’t find it. So frustrating.

I think that’s why God invented planes.

Now that book I might read. But probably not really.

Brain not work. Hurt.

No sustainable brewing second bachelor’s for me, thanks. I don’t even really like beer.

18 of 20 books for this year and it’s not even June. I am awesome.

It’s hard to be interesting when you’re bored.

This was such an unexpectedly fantastic surprise in the Twin Peaks premier. So perfectly My Bloody Valentine meets Curve with some Lush thrown in and just a splash of Ivy to toss me right smack into my 1994 shoegazery happy place.

Yep. I think I might really like that band.

OK. That meeting was actually fairly productive.

Thanks, Amazon. Appreciate it.

Ha! You are a secret smoker! I knew it!

It’s a special kind of hell.

Accidentally. Right. They totally did this on purpose. Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Oh good. Storm rolling in just in time for me to walk to my car.

This week hates my guts, man.

Grow faster, hair!

Oh yeah. I will attach the syllabus, thank you.

And now I will go out into the stormiest storm and drive home. Wet and cold.

Older posts

© 2017 antijenx

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑