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nobody here but us chickens

Category: random wednesday (page 1 of 35)

Random Wednesday

I actually forgot it was Wednesday til just this minute.

This photo’s not so old. I did not have time to do anything with photos last night so …

It’s still just a fifth wheel. I do like the design elements though. I’d love those floors in my house. And the stair storage is dreamy.

John Lithgow still creepin’ me out.

I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to find my zen. Dammit.

I had nothing to lose, so I went for it. What the hell.

I have no motivation. At all.

Jesus. Who pays $180 for a tea kettle?

What is wrong with my eye today?

Maybe I need a Biggby. Maybe.

I don’t have anyone to share my BOGO coupon with. That’s kind of sad.

I should just gut my house. Get rid of all the crap. Well not all of it. A lot of it. I need a giant dumpster.

I tried watching the Chris Isaak Show again, and it just has not held up for me, despite my love for Chris.

My chair is making weird noises. It’s probably haunted.

I think I might be feeling melancholy today.

Hello, protein shake. Why can you not taste more like a donut?

More caffeine please.

how dead is dead

I wasn’t there. I don’t know what happened.

I have never even heard of that band.

There may be something to this fanny pack rebirth.

Wow. This was literally a deleted scene from Fire Walk With Me. Hilarious.

Man. Facebook makes me tired.

I really just don’t want to proofread your crap anymore. Find someone else to do it.

Babies!

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is this day not over yet? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Those aren’t platforms, they’re wedges.

I would like to go away and never come back now please.

This just in: Hipster mom thinks she invented the staycation.

Peas are awful. Because they are.

You should rethink that stache, dude.

Is that retirement deal tomorrow?

I do love me some Americana.

What.

That sounds like a euphemism. But it isn’t.

It’ll be here Friday.

I am a little on the hungry side.

I’m not at all interesting today.

One leather jacket, one Sasquatch.

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Random Wednesday

Here’s a photo from the archive on account of I forgot to get something together last night.

I almost forgot it was Wednesday!

This is all much more complicated than I was expecting.

Dude. You don’t have to smash the cell phone if you took the sim card out.

Why does it have those teeth if all it does is suck souls? That seems a little unnecessary.

I love this show. I do. But damn, Sam can be pretty whiny.

They should’ve poured some cement in there first. Then buried it.

I’m just not that into Wonder Woman, to be honest.

I hate orientation.

That is not how you spell forest, dude.

Nothin’ I like more than some good old fashioned forced indoctrination.

I actually would not mind going to this concert at all.

Duh. That does not answer the question I asked. I already knew that. That is not helpful.

Yeah, they call that a “half bath.” It’s not complicated.

Just because I’m not with you doesn’t mean I’m against you.

This better work. Dammit.

Sorry! Just have to run to the loo! BRB!

I love June. No staff meetings in June.

Nice headband, sugar.

It is not a dead chicken.

I wish everyone would read this book.

Do you even know how to Skype? Because I will not be here to help you with that.

It certainly solves the problem of what to eat for lunch.

For the record, I never had any bizarre cravings like that either time I was pregnant.

I guess it’s gonna be short. I dunno.

These are some kinda flat, weird, super crunchy, delicious pretzel things.

I will succeed your expeditions.

I may also secede them.

Oh I should take this Zamyatin up north with me next week.

Where did my Star Trek stamp bookmark go?

Could you please write my letters of recommendation please?

I am not caught up with you yet. Hush.

Damn, rock on Courtney Love.

OK. Must find baby birds now.

cheep cheep.

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Random Wednesday

What the hell even. I mean Wally Brando?? It’s too much. Too too much.

Man. The “needle in a stack of needles” metaphor is so played out. Come up with something else. Like … “a pine tree in a pine forest” or … I don’t know. Something. You’re writers. Figure it out.

I’ll be the first to admit I have too much crap. But living like this? No. What a cold, unwelcoming, box completely void of personality. No thank you.

The most misspelled word in the state of Michigan is pneumonia. How completely random. And also there are far harder words to spell.

I really need to learn how to make my own skirts. Damn.

I am clearly incapable of making any kind of decision at this moment.

Maybe I should delete everything from it except the #littlejustintimberlake photos.

I’m just not sure that anyone should bring the Animaniacs back.

Wow. No one thinks my typos are that entertaining. Well. Sometimes I do.

It is possible I might be a tad cranky.

I don’t need my picture in the local paper.

I think Kathy Griffin looked like a man in drag in that photo. Of course, now people are talking about her, which is exactly what she was after, I’m sure. To somehow be relevant.

Crap.

That truck doesn’t even have Michigan plates on it.

I think you’re missing my point.

I haven’t seen any ghosts lately.

No, it’s OK. I don’t even care at all. Really.

I need a new tattoo.

But. It’s not complete. How can you send me an email telling me it’s complete when it is not at all complete?

It’s a rare day when I find myself agreeing with Conyers and Jackson Lee, but here we are.

I could sleep for 3 days. Probably.

I think everyone is missing my point, actually.

I don’t know. Hiddleston is too young for me. Probably.

Mostly.

Holy wow, I had no idea what time it was.

“Obliterate credit card debt with this credit card.”

It looked like construction was finished. Is it safe to assume that it is indeed finished? Is it safe to assume that if I drive home that way I won’t be stuck under the damn overpass for 25 minutes? IS IT???

Oh, I just noticed the owl cookie jar in Doug E’s kitchen thanks to that Kyle McLachlan post.

I don’t know. I was pretty chill about this growing my gray out, but I think I’ve lost my chill. It’s starting to bug me. I might succumb to the urge to dye. I may not be able to stop myself.

Dammit. I was not planning a trip to the grocery store. I was planning a trip to my tea kettle.

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Random Wednesday

Flashing cursor. Exciting.

Expertise vs experience …

I have never actually seen this film. I don’t even know how that’s possible.

There are Johnny Cash socks?? Why don’t I have any Johnny Cash socks???

OK, this is kind of funny.

Wow. You can’t treat people like that and expect them to have any kind of respect for you at all. What a total dick move. Zero class.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure there’s somethin’ in Fitchburg worth killin’.”

These Triscuits might have gotten stale while I was gone.

Man, my spam these days is straight up menacing.

It’s pretty impressive. It also creeps me out. Also the construction of it completely fascinates me.

STOP BEING SICK. JAYSUS.

I had no idea that this would be so complicated.

Is this archive feature on Instagram new? I am intrigued.

And that is why I do not like you.

No, it’s OK. Really. I don’t need to be thanked or anything.

I forgot I was FB friends with you, John Marr. But it’s funny that you popped up in my feed because I was literally just thinking about Murder Can Be Fun yesterday. On account of this Disney book someone just gave me. Ha.

Holy wow do I not want to attend this meeting.

Splitting headache. Boring meeting. Whoo! My afternoon is shaping up to awesome!

How do I keep messing this sleeve up? I just do not understand what the hell I am doing. I just can’t find it. So frustrating.

I think that’s why God invented planes.

Now that book I might read. But probably not really.

Brain not work. Hurt.

No sustainable brewing second bachelor’s for me, thanks. I don’t even really like beer.

18 of 20 books for this year and it’s not even June. I am awesome.

It’s hard to be interesting when you’re bored.

This was such an unexpectedly fantastic surprise in the Twin Peaks premier. So perfectly My Bloody Valentine meets Curve with some Lush thrown in and just a splash of Ivy to toss me right smack into my 1994 shoegazery happy place.

Yep. I think I might really like that band.

OK. That meeting was actually fairly productive.

Thanks, Amazon. Appreciate it.

Ha! You are a secret smoker! I knew it!

It’s a special kind of hell.

Accidentally. Right. They totally did this on purpose. Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Oh good. Storm rolling in just in time for me to walk to my car.

This week hates my guts, man.

Grow faster, hair!

Oh yeah. I will attach the syllabus, thank you.

And now I will go out into the stormiest storm and drive home. Wet and cold.

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Random Wednesday

It’s like he’s got some kind of strange cylindrical skull. It’s creepy.

I dunno. Is anything really “groundbreaking” any more?

Colin Firth, still delicious.

Yak. I am intrigued.

Except no. Not really.

I really just feel like crying right now.

Maybe I need a damn hell hiatus.

I guess I am just not invested enough to be willing to sign on to that with you.

Probably. Maybe.

I think I need a new neurologist.

Why does everything you say sound like a question?

Razor clawed gremlins screeching at the top of their lungs, throwing themselves against the inside of my skull, desperate to escape the increasing pressure that will surely explode both their brains and mine.

Kinda like that.

I don’t know. I want to love the American Gods series. I’m just not sure that I can.

“He has engaged us in subterfuge and red herring, a fish I don’t particularly care for.”

This is kind of a little bit hilarious.

Seems like raining nectar would be sticky.

Where did Donna’s sisters go?

Is that today? That’s today. SIGH.

Why are you always making my life more difficult. It’s like it’s your raison d’etre or something. You need a better raison d’etre.

Is that a euphemism?? I mean you get how that’s kind of weird, right?

I need a snack.

Prodigy? You mean progeny?

syllabi.

It’s like Slytherin. Or something.

Re-watching the original series has made me love it for completely different reasons than when it originally aired.

I don’t really understand Twitter anymore. At all.

OK, you’re kind of going overboard with this and I really need you to dial it back about eleventy right now.

I’ve been trying to read this article ALL DAY.

I really need some caffeine right now.

I don’t see any reason to buy sulfite free wine. Scotch and I get along just fine.

You’re so lucky!

Respond to my text, dad. You’re retired, you have time. (p.s. I love you.)

Really, you’re cutting into my knitting time at this point.

It might be a bit warm for that.

Ooooh, only two more days til Staycation 2.0! And I don’t even have to spend it stripping wallpaper!! Or in my car!!

Well of course you don’t understand the question. It’s full of typos.

Oh go on then.

I think mine might be too.

I don’t believe that I probably wouldn’t let it go.

Me too! (That’s not the theme.)

Sweaters cover a multitude of sins.

It’s months away. I don’t think you need to panic yet.

So you know where I’ll be.

But they’re ickle chickens!

Oh. Right. Grad school application. Shit. Personal statement. “Dear faculty, I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life, so I thought I’d try your program out for a while.

So much for developing a coffee habit.

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Random Wednesday

Sometimes I just

Never never never stamp these documents.

I don’t know how to play chess.

The cops marching out in step all lined up.

The guys lined up at the bar with their cigars.

Drummers all in a line.

Yes, but when is Star Trek Discovery airing??? I’m dying.

bees bees bees bees bees bees bees bees bees bees bees bees

Um. That’s not really something I keep in stock …

I am probably working right now. Sure.

I need to visit this place!

I feel lucky to know them.

walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk

But I didn’t post.

It’s so cute!

Now my thoughts have a Scottish accent. It’s kinda nice, eh?

But I almost always vote no.

on repeat.

Oh.

I don’t feel like Josie deserved that much of a tribute.

Did you get a donut?

I wish I enjoyed running.

Now I have ink all over my hands.

ba-gawk

So. Much. Scanning.

I need to take a walk.

I don’t have to government.

I’m partial to #3.

I knew I shouldn’t have caved into that stupid shawl pattern. ARGH.

I never understand this party.

Sorry, but no.

It’s that point of the year when the semester has ended and my brain has slipped into a semi-coma. I have nothing much to say at all.

Just at the noo.

I never watched the final season of Sons of Anarchy. I’m trying to decide if I want to.

I want one of those hairless cats. Because they’re all sinister looking, plus no cat hair all over everything.

But mostly I still don’t like cats. Nope, not even yours.

I’m learning all about keeping the bees.

Maybe the bangs make me look a little younger.

Thus spoke. Thus spake. Potato. Potahto.

I DON’T not love you anymore.

I need to use the next staycation to try and get that wallpaper down. SIGH.

I wish the unicorn still talked.

I really don’t want to do grad school. I really don’t. But I feel like I have to.

I hate it when I can’t tell if someone is actually spam or not.

Also something.

I cannot believe it took me two whole days to realize that this was a gift to me and not part of this pile of Medallion books.

Probably I’ll just eat more eggs.

It’s definitely time to go up north. I hope we get to go to Empire this year.

I’m always vaguely put off by actors who suddenly discover art. Actors who were artists before they acted don’t bother me a’tall.

Wait, who are you?

Man, I went through that thing three times and still missed that line. Dammit!

I need to kick myself in the ass. Because I need to get off my ass. And I need to do these things I’ve been thinking about doing for who even knows how long.

I KNOW THIS TOO.

I would have a yard sale if I could stand having yard sales. People who come to our yard sales are bitchy. They’re always telling you “you’re doing this wrong.”

Don’t you roof pig me.

surrender, surrender

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Random Wednesday

I need to start keeping a toothbrush in my drawer at work.

But it was January.

Another day, another interminable staff meeting.

Microscopical is a word? Microscopic just sounds better.

Unlike many libertarians, I don’t have an issue with borders and defending them.

No. No icky vibes, please.

eggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I REALLY want bees.

Maybe he just doesn’t care.

“I don’t wanna talk, I wanna shoot!”

The guys lined up at the bar with their cigars.

I don’t know how to play chess.

That does not sound delicious.

But I don’t even have a DVR.

I can never pronounce Appomattox.

Oops. Sorry Jayne Cobb.

Sheesh. Can I just move to the Shetlands now please? WOW.

I wonder if they buy a new map every time there’s a new investigation. That’s probably a lot of maps.

Why would you ever cap that at 30??

Apple pie!!!

scan scan scan scan scan

That worked even better than I’d hoped.

My Twin Peaks episode notes are feeling like weird little poems.

Oh, well, that works too, I guess.

I’m gonna take myself a break.

Why are we taking Bill Nye seriously??

I

What? United Airlines is killing bunnies now?

Robocop. Figures.

I’m so boring today.

No one asked me about my kids.

I felt like the least important person in the room, to be honest.

Surely it is time to eat the pie?

Guess I should have known better than to take some initiative. Duh.

I need my chair!

I need a nap.

I need some motivation.

I need a personal trainer.

I’m trying to decide that riding my bike that far back and forth every day sounds like an awesome plan. But my brain just keeps laughing at me.

Oh. Dentist tomorrow. Whee.

I think that may have been a wee bit too much cinnamon.

I think. I think. Yes. It is.

slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

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Random Wednesday

I. Am. Miserable.

I would very much like to go see Shooter Jennings in June.

This is some pretty great feedback.

Fssssshhh.

OFFS. I’ll cover it.

It’s that feeling of constantly having to sneeze that kills you.

Yeah, rapidly coming to loathe the phrase “flip the script.”

Holy hell it’s busy today.

Sometimes the Can Do Girls can’t!

I feel like I’m speaking a totally different language than everyone else today.

I keep accidentally setting my phone to silent. Which I suppose is OK for phone calls, because the only people who call me are spammers and the NRA. But I also miss incoming messages that way. Sorry. But you probably aren’t messaging me anyway.

Damn, I wish I was asleep.

Actually, I’m so zoned out right now, I might as well just be asleep.

AT LEAST MY BRAIN IS ASLEEP

Allyship??? That’s not even a word!!

I have not even been paying attention.

Oops. We should visit the library more often.

I thought that said Lovercraft.

Acceptation??

So glad I decided to read through this one more time.

Is that a fucking fruit fly? GODDAMMIT!

I can just order the router.

Great. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

Lady, there is not even a tornado watch. Calm the hell down.

I had a song in mind but I’ve forgotten that too.

Look. I have the mouth of a longshoreman who moonlights as a trucker. But there’s a time and place.

Honestly, if anyone makes an attempt on Trump’s life, it’s likely to be that unhinged moron Shia LaBoeuf.

What is this purple Starbucks weirdness everyone is posting pictures of?

Also it looks like it’s liquid cotton candy, and therefore disgusting.

Stormageddon does not like the bus.

Wow. I. OK.

rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain

Well yeah. Lauren Hutton is gorgeous.

Ok, thanks, but I don’t actually care about Bill O’Reilly.

silver sulfasomething

Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t really want to pay you to send me a postcard.

Really kind of hating Diane Fry. WTH. Get over your damage, chiquita. Cooper’s a good guy.

Damn. That’s a hell of a Riot Fest lineup.

Why is food always so problematic?

The hell with it. I’m posting today. Surprise!

I could have sworn we had some zinc.

I don’t care what anyone thinks, I like the Home soundtrack.

Well, that was lame.

At least I won’t

Holy shit. What a weird coincidence.

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Random Wednesday

Happy First Contact Day

Shoulda used the Spock pic instead today I guess.

The Bernhard Center cafe menu always puts an apostrophe in nachos. “Nacho’s Deluxe.” Nacho’s deluxe what??? Who is Nacho?

WHO IS NACHO?

Well. Things are all turned around now.

Yes, I think this is the right decision. Probably.

You can’t tell people they can’t eat that food.

Sorry, but ginormous is totally a word.

I got this fancy portfolio thing. What am I going to do with this fancy portfolio thing? It’s 2017.

Barbed wire seems scary and intimidating when you look at it, but upon reflection, wouldn’t wrapping your baseball bat with it be basically a waste of time? After a couple of wacks, the barbs would be all bent flat. Then you have a bumpy baseball bat, sure, but honestly? Getting hit with a bat seems sufficient. The wire just sort of comes across as window dressing. I am not impressed.

No, I still don’t actually watch The Walking Dead.

I just read a ridiculously old Random and in it I said I’d never read The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. That isn’t even true. Why would I say that? I’ve totally read that book. Sometimes I forget things. And evidently, sometimes I have temporary brain damage. I blame the migraines.

I wonder what I did with that corset.

Well. That was unexpectedly depressing.

Nacho knows.

Sorry. Not my banana.

Ok, but that isn’t actually true. And you know it isn’t.

Sweet. I still love that show.

Wow. That is not a flattering photo of my neck.

Smarmy bastard.

I typed this big long thing about something I had posted before but couldn’t find. But I found it. So here it is again. “I think the world would be a happier place if we just randomly mailed each other books. I randomly mail people books for fun. But I mean randomly mail someone a book that really meant something to you. Just because. Maybe it’s just me. I’d love that. I’d love to just randomly, periodically get a book from someone just because they loved the book and thought ‘I need to share this with my Jen.'”

Oh hush. That’s just the tragedy talking.

I wish I had Lucy’s job.

Albert’s path is a strange and difficult one.

“There’s things you can’t get in books.”
“There are things you can’t get anywhere, but we dream they can be found in other people.”

It’s getting mighty old.

Wait. What. Cinnamon roll donuts are back at Biggby. Might need to do a run this morning.

And by run I mean walk calmly to Biggby, taking my time.

As long as it’s not pouring.

I just almost dumped my tea in my lap.

Sorry I suck so much lately.

I probably shouldn’t put that in the personal statement I really don’t want to write. “I suck right now, but you should totally let me into your program on account of I don’t suck all the time.”

She is pathologically incapable of just doing what she is asked to do.

Well, they’re not full just yet.

I dunno. I like sandwiches.

I could really go for one of those Cuban pulled pork sandwiches we had in Florida. Man, those were amazing.

But I’m at a complete loss as to what to eat for lunch now. siiiiiiigh

Oh Jesus. How did I forget we have Chick-fil-A here now?? Anyway, I can’t make it there and back on my lunch hour.

Be adaptable.

Wait. Lettuce heist?? What???

That. That is the look that made me crush on Special Agent Dale Cooper. That was the moment.

Ha. Preacher season two trailer. I love that show.

I’m sorry, but no freakin’ way is my 80s boyfriend Lloyd Dobler.

And just like that, an entire hour has flown right by.

I won’t even dignify that with a response.

Wait, Barry Manilow is still alive?

I think she’s just perpetually pregnant.

Are you just applying hair spray right at your desk now? GOD.

Were you thinking evil things quietly? Evil works best quietly, I think.

Loud villainy is the bane of professional evil doers.

I’m going to say I won’t respond to your email while I’m on staycation. But we all know I will probably be lying.

Wow, that is spectacularly dumb.

She got a lot of hype and she is not living up.

That’s right. I bought the Reese’s Pieces. So what?

Don’t judge me. I didn’t go to Biggby earlier. I didn’t eat a cinnamon roll thingie.

Yeah, I’m probably not going to Random next week. Just cos Staycation + Random = not terribly interesting.

Like this is so stimulating.

That last 45 minutes might actually kill me.

I don’t even know where I was going with that.

OK that’s it. I’m not evil.

I’m just drawn that way?

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Random Wednesday

So … just don’t come here then.

Although I agree that boiling water in the microwave is something only heathens do.

And people who drink tea made from water boiled in the microwave aren’t drinking tea. They’re drinking insipid, hot, stained water. And I don’t want to know those people.

I always forget that I’m on that committee because I’m an alternate. Also I should quit.

It’s a sad world where people aren’t allowed honest mistakes. No. Every “wrong” thing you do is clearly driven by some deep seated bigoted or racist or phobic ulterior motive designed to victimize someone else. Because HEAVENS FORFEND anyone ever just make a simple, unintentional, honest error.

Harry, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just. Let it happen.

Huh.

Those crocheted yarmulkes look like boobs. I’m sorry.

Facebook wants me to celebrate my upcoming birthday with friends by creating an event. What should I call it? The “jentober celebrates another birthday by maybe having an extra Diet Dr. Pepper and refusing to do dishes” party? My friends all live too far away.

I typed fart instead of far. So there’s that.

Stop fictionalizing your life in order to garner sympathy.

I always feel like I’m trying too hard.

I just want to be part of the knitting community! That’s all I want!

But I always feel like I’m trying too hard.

Um. That globe is totally not in Haenicke Hall. It’s in Knauss.

This sweater is so perfectly cozy and warm it already needs to be de-pilled. And I just got it. It’s the perfect grandpa sweater. Perfect.

I can’t help it that I’m addicted to t-shirts. Isn’t that better than being addicted to crack or heroin or whisky or something?

Ha. True.

I am a goat girl.

You might be slightly senile, and you maybe should not be in the position that you are in.

Wow. And also that is a really short mix. But wow. Interesting choices.

I do love that Chris Isaak song though.

No one ever calls me. Except the NRA. The NRA calls me all the time.

Wow. That’s the most wrong internet quiz I’ve ever taken. But it is kind of hilarious that I got “Blane.”

Also why is that character’s name spelled Blane? It’s Blaine. WTH John Hughes?

I just realized the house that the test pilot lives in in episode 2 of the X Files is the house that Frank Black moves his family to in Millennium.

Wait. Now it feels like I’ve realized that before.

OK, but I don’t actually speak French. We’ve been over this.

I wasn’t cranky. But then people started being people. And then I was cranky.

If I call you, and you answer, don’t tell me you’re not open yet and to call back in seven minutes. Just don’t answer the fucking phone in the first place.

I feel like you need to be reminded that I am not, in fact, your secretary.

Hilarious. I never did care for Cracker Barrel.

I still haven’t found a kitchen witch.

Skip Arms has the best hair. Look at it. It’s fucking magnificent.

“Who would kill someone for ten dollars?”
“Dave.”

It’s prospective student. Not perspective student. You work at a university. How is this hard for you?

I’m having a hard time wanting to bother continuing posting to Flickr with this project.

Why is it dwarfs and not dwarves?

I really hate it when people abbreviate please to pls.

You all have beaten this horse so dead it’s nothing but a crimson stain on the floor. Move. On.

Not zee Russians.

Tell me again why I stay in higher education??

They trap you with the benefits.

I don’t appreciate being forced to voice gratitude.

I got a bad batch of Slim Jims. Curses!

No, you can’t have a refund.

Sometimes the clock in my car is correct. Sometimes it’s an hour behind. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

Institutionalized bullying.

So weird seeing such a young Mark Sheppard in this X-Files.

Wow. Just wow.

Wait. Joss Whedon is directing Batgirl??

OK. MPA it is.

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