nobody here but us chickens

Category: random wednesday (page 1 of 45)

Random Wednesday

This, honestly, is hilarious.

Whatever happened to Crag Sheffer?

I disagree. Because I disagree.

I don’t often see concealed carry bags I like, but this one is close.

I’m still not convinced you should carry in a bag. If someone snatches your bag, then what? A cross-body bag is a much better design, but I have yet to find a cross-body design for women I actually find appealing. Better to stick with ITWB.

That reads like it’s the women I need to find appealing. It is not.

Best. Listing. Ever.

I accidentally clicked a link to a seemingly innocuous possibly cute story about an obscure film prop only to find myself on Jezebel, hating the author after the first sentence because they have to politicize every fucking thing that exists ever. JESUS take a fucking break.

Is it ironic that I can never remember what epistemological means?

Ellen is 100% right the fuck on.

I don’t fit anywhere.

I’m supposed to be reading this book for class and I cannot concentrate at all today.

It’s not a toomah. It’s totally a toomah. Maybe it’s a toomah. It’s not a toomah.

I still have never set foot on your deck. It’s become a sort of superstition now. Should I ever set foot on your deck now, it will signal that that is the final visit I’ll ever make to your house. Now I can’t ever walk out onto your deck. It would be tempting fate.

I do actually go into a slight panic if I realize I don’t have a lip balm. I’d rather be without my phone than my lip balm.


Exactly how many times do I have to say OK, I give up, I surrender before the shit just fucking stops?

You are here.

Motives matter.

There were never any razor blades in your candy. Remember in the 80s though, when the fire department had the X-Ray machine thing set up with the conveyor belt and you could take you candy and have it scanned?

I just wanted to see an X-Ray of my candy. I never did though. I imagine it would have been a very dull picture.

I both very much do and do not want to see this film.

Yeah, but they don’t really care.

I just realized I accidentally threw my hanky in the trash.

Just say no to mohair.


I would argue that she doesn’t deserve punishment of any kind, not even “clapping erasers” (which I’m pretty sure they don’t do any more), but this? This is bullshit.

Wow. Classy jackass.

Why didn’t anyone tell me The Mentalist was such a great show? I’m glad it’s finally available for streaming.


Hey, wouldja look at that.

I really just want to order in lunch today. I really should just eat my freezer lunch today.

“Can a cat have an existential crisis?” Are you serious? Who gives a shit? It’s a cat.

Maybe Luther College will give me a job.

I am against making election day a paid holiday.

I really hate whistling. I extra hate that you come in here every afternoon whistling while you deliver the mail, because it seems a little over the top. And oh look. Literally none of this mail is for our office.

No. I never want any lutefisk.

Fuck. I thought that was due the 24th. It is not.

Well, now clearly I have to see The Rise of Jordan Peterson.

I wonder if we all stopped spending so much fucking time on these people if they’d just go the hell away.

I wonder about the efficacy of your face!

That’s not a reference to what you think it is.

I got your distant intercessory prayer right here, pal.

Maybe it’s that my brain resists the concept of the meaning of the word epistemological, therefore, I have to keep looking it up.

I hate when I can’t grasp a concept because I’m really fucking smart.

We never should have been in Syria in the first place.

I feel extra stupid this semester, let me tell you.

GAH. Fine. You win.

Find an upright yet effortless posture? Yeah right.


Random Wednesday

rerun. did you know how much i love halloween? ha. just kidding.

Well. That was harder than it should have been.

Wow. I’m totally impressed but also cracking up. Totally goth emoed this thing right up.

Oh more wow.

I just read another interview with Brad Pitt. First of all, who wears eight hundred dollar sweaters in real life? But also, he really should come to one of our workshops.

Could someone please, for the love of all things holy, teach me how to just not give a shit any more?

If my head didn’t hurt so much this week I’d switch to some death metal. Or at least Sisters of Mercy’s Vision Thing album.

WTF even is that?

I don’t begrudge you your cat love. I just don’t understand it. I’m like the libertarian of pets. Love your cat all you want, just don’t expect me to care.

I’ve never been much of a Sonic Youth fan, to be honest.

For a bunch of people noted for their devotion to science and scorn for most types of organized religion (by which I mean Christianity), they sure expect people to take an awful lot on faith.

I never played Oregon Trail.

Every time you ask a question I just want to give you a smart ass response, which tells me I should just avoid that space altogether right now, because that just isn’t productive.

What am I even doing here?

Funny how no one seems to have any problem giving me extra work. God forbid anyone should even suggest that some other people take on extra shit.

So much for all my optimism at a new regime.

Why the fuck does this office smell like Spaghettios?

Sometimes I just have to blast New Order in my ears in order to escape your pointless sibilance.

Great. Now the Cure is stuck in my head.

Well then how should you describe yourself?

What the hell is on my pants? Dammit!

People make me so tired.

Maybe instead of parading your mentally ill child across the globe as your own personal political football, you should perhaps be getting her some actual help so that she can function in the world she claims she’d so desperately like to save.

It is dangerously balanced on the razor’s edge of TRENDY. We already see its being worn like an accessory, a badge of hip modern matronliness, by some women who fancy themselves the new Earth mothers.

OK, now I’m getting SPAM with actual naked chicks in it. What the fuck.

When emailing two people of the same name, don’t pluralize them. Simply say good morning.

There is only now.

Just FYI, I cannot deliver a Random next week. And possibly the week after. Prepare yourselves for the drought. Or reprieve. It could really go either way.

“I’ll believe climate change is a crisis when the people who keep telling me it’s a crisis start acting like it’s a crisis — by making any sort of actual personal sacrifice at all.” ~ Glenn Reynolds

I do not approve.

I think there’s something wrong with this a

Finally get the patio cleaned off and now I can’t use it for fear of being murdered by mosquitoes.

I had to jensplain it to them.

No. No no no no no. We don’t need it. No one wants it. No. Just let it flipping die.

It’s not THE Ukraine. It’s not. It just isn’t. Stoppit.

Halloween is a frame of mind.

Did I tell you I won’t be here next week? I did. You’ll be OK.

This right here is why people hate the left. This is the kind of shit that gets a President Trump. Also? This is why no one with any sense can take your 16 year old Swedish scold seriously.

People’s brains don’t finish forming until roughly age 26. Why don’t people stop and think about that more often? It’s significant.


Random Wednesday

i put my canon down for months, and now that i don’t have ANY time to pick it up, i’m itching to. here’s another rerun.


Oh well. Fuck it. I just have to learn to say no. That’s fine.

Of course, this makes sense.

It would have been more accurate if it were a bunch of plastic food containers and lids, none of which match each other.

this is ourselves

“There are many things the next generation should be encouraged to be. Brilliant, exceptional, inventive, remarkable. All of this and more. But one way to stop that happening is by continuing to fragment the most tolerant societies on earth along group identity lines. And then invite people to spend their lives gazing at their navels. Or indeed at their pronouns.”

Perpetually prepared for disappointment.

Wow. First brand new alumni newsletter and there’s a spelling error on the very first line because God forbid you should let me proofread this shit before you publish it.


I’ve seen plenty of flashed penises at parties. I never mistook it for sexual assault. I took it for drunken morons behaving like drunken morons.

Oops. I just opened a Quest bar and then noticed I had half a Quest bar already open on my desk.

That’s just blasphemous.

I just really don’t wear that much makeup though.

It’s just absolutely infuriating.

You know, I really need a new pair of Chucks, but I have been putting off buying them. And then all of a sudden it hit me, maybe I’m not actually a Chucks girl. Maybe I’m really a Vans girl. Maybe my insistence on wearing Chucks all these years is actually the root of all of my existential woes. And now, I still need some new shoes, but am caught in a spiral of doubt and questioning the very basis of all of my life choices.

That’s an interesting question, and one I’m going to carry around with me for a while.

I’m mostly just avoiding reading this pointless study.


The important thing here is …

Honestly, what is Joe Biden even doing? Why is he here?

I guess I didn’t know that Danny Elfman was married to Bridget Fonda.

Or did I?

suerte suerte suerte

I should brush up on my Spanish.

I’m posting early today. I know. Try not to hurt yourself in your shock.


You’re right. I would make an excellent assassin.

Man, my desk is really dusty.

I bet people do that shit on purpose to see if anyone actually notices. Kind of like when I wear the same skirt 4 days in a row.

Well. I finally got a Reason speaker on campus. No Nick. But still cool. Go me.

I’ve been trying to read this all day, so if I link it here I can find it later.

And I’m off.


Random Wednesday

here’s an old one that pretty much sums up my frame of mind right now.

Yeaaaahhhh I’ll pass thanks.

I just love it when people treat you like a faceless entity because you happen to be covering the reception desk.

See? Stop guilting me.

I’m sorry, I’ll come back.

Soooooo. Until that magical fairy land happens, we should just allow ourselves to be utterly defenseless? Is that what I’m supposed to take away from this? JAYsus.

Yeah, no. I kind of feel judged right now. It’s true.

Hmm. Maybe that scent is only available at Christmas.

Well that’s just wonky.

I don’t know if you know this, but white people tan. Or if you’re me, burn.

Doesn’t that feel better than arguing about politics?

I should have photographed the event, I suppose. I’m not sure anyone noticed I was there.

I have no idea where I’m supposed to park for this thing.

I love this story.

I just read an interview with Brad Pitt in the NYT and I really think he should come to one of our Unthinking Mortality workshops.

I was not a Brad Pitt fan back in the day. I do believe he has gotten much better with age.

Hey Whitmer


Sometimes I am thoroughly convinced that I am the last remaining pragmatist on this planet.

File under Shit That Only Works In Theory.

Yeah, Thanos wanted to minimize suffering and look how well that went down.

I can never get those predictive text things to work.

I should have become a locksmith, apparently.

Great. Another new person using super strong scented lotion that assaults the brain like an ice pick of horrible deathy doom.

What if you’re a perfect storm of both types of people? What then, huh?

Note: “liking” my email = still not a valid response to my email.

I really don’t like it when people say “that being said” in a lengthy email. First of all, just say “that said.” Secondly, just cut to the chase already.

No, but why are you doing this to me?

The worst thing you can do to citizens of a democratic nation is to silence them. And the easiest way to silence a woman or a man is to threaten his or her livelihood. Let’s not accept the McCarthyism of secret condemnation. Instead let’s delve a little deeper, limiting the power that can be exerted over our citizens, their attempts to express their hearts and horrors, and their desire to speak their truths. Only this can open the dialogue of change.”

I had every intention of posting this on time, but I somehow completely forgot it was Wednesday.

Enough with the humidity. Come on.

I’m just going to go ahead and admit that I have no idea who Daniel Johnston was.

I really need a Biggby.

Oh. So I haven’t missed anything.

Please. Just.                    JESUS.


I have had a constant stream of students in my office today. Just because they love me and want my advice. It’s amazing.

And I haven’t gotten a goddamn thing done.



Look. I only signed up for all the subcommittees because it was a way to get out of the toxic hell that was the office. I just don’t need that any more.

Sing it with me. Top of your lungs. Here we go.


Random Wednesday

I used to (unfortunately) go out with a guy who said I had a Judas Complex because I couldn’t sit with my back to a door. I don’t. It’s just good strategic sense. I absolutely loathe working in a space where I can’t have a ninja proof seat. It makes me less productive and it stresses me the fuck out. I really can’t function with people walking up behind me. Which I’ve said over and over. And so few people respect that.

Bye, Kirsten.

Literally every time I start working on something I get interrupted.

I need to be infused with vital spirits.

I have no experience in that area.

First of all “plant based meats” are not meats.

It’s here in the states too. And all I can say is NO.

“And go!” is still just as annoying as ever.


So hilarious.

Literature reviews. Yawn.

When I said I’d be on this committee I did not realize I’d be responsible for coming up with a list of speakers and panelists. However. I realize I’m probably ideally suited for that very task.

I love this podcast.

I just love it when people tell me OK no problem when I haven’t apologized because it was, in fact, their fault.

Curses! I burned my finger on my lunch steam!

Looks like your Randoms are going to be short and sweet for the foreseeable future, chickens.

So. Fucking. Busy.

I sincerely loathe this song, but this is legit some awesome cosplay.

I opened at least 4 different articles to read today and never got beyond the first paragraph in any of them.

That’s not at all how I pictured that woman from just hearing her voice. I still wish they’d stop letting her read the news.

Is there an actual committee even? I’m starting to think there is no actual committee.

OMG new Pernice Brothers!!!!!

Why does my stupid toe hurt?

I honestly thought the vegan suing her BBQing neighbor was satire for a whole day. I’m still not quite convinced it’s legit.

Now I want BBQ.

And cupcakes.

Oh I have cupcakes at home!


Random Wednesday

You could always go back to jolly olde. Won’t break our American hearts.

Guess I must be on yer list too, eh?

Read it.

I just ate a Rice Krispies Treat the size of my face and I have no regrets.

so dull

Yeah, we didn’t move.

The crazy too many people time to adjust hectic lunacy is upon me. I’m not ready.

This is the funniest shit you will see on the internet this week.

Um. Someone might want to tell her that that’s already the law. And has been for decades.

This is clearly gonna be late again.

Wait. Punching people with whom you disagree on an ideological level = civil disobedience? WTF universe do you inhabit??

“Imagine if the left said this.” “Imagine if the right said this.” They both have. Repeatedly. Because they’re all children. Stop amplifying the stupid. Stop electing the stupid.

I think I’ll just hold off on this til next week. I just have so little for you at the moment.

So very little.

It’s Sam Hill, not Sam Hell.

“It’s 10:30. Do you know where your children are?” What a patronizing thing to say to people in your broadcast.

Crossbreed Holsters has fantastic customer service.

You’re not the boss of the exec assts. Your boss isn’t the boss of the deans. Stop telling everyone else what to do.

Why would re-reading books you love need defending? That’s ridiculous.

I don’t understand people who find Leonardo DiCaprio attractive. I know I’ve said this before but I just got slapped with another picture of him and his weird Amish beard.

It’s weird being allowed to do one’s job. I actually am slammed from the minute I walk in til the minute I leave. Hard to get used to again.

Of course there’s new crap on top of all the usual. So there’s that.

I need to start making wearing my glasses a habit instead of contacts.

Nothing like looking someone you thought you were on good terms with up on FB to discover that they’d preemptively blocked you. I wasn’t even going to send a friend request, I was just looking for a basic piece of information that would have been readily available there.

You know. I should be in a really good mood with this great new boss and honestly I’m just not. I’m stuck. I don’t fit anywhere. It doesn’t matter who your boss is if you’ve got the same stupid job that you’re overqualified for but that no one can seem to see you’re overqualified for.

And your friends all live far away with their own lives and best friends and things to do.

I’m going to stop typing out my wallow now. It’s pitiful.

Oh this is going to be a messy messy day.

Holy shit.

At least when it’s nonstop I don’t have time to think about

What kind of person looks at this water slide and says, “Yep. That’s what I’m doing next”?????

Man. Cupcakes. I love these fuckers.

It’s about the message for me. I believe in the message. I don’t know what you’re in it for.

And now I’ve screwed up and pissed someone off and I’ll spend the rest of the week beating myself up about it.

You know. I think I need to hang this one up. Today has been so stressful that it actually brought on the migraine full stop. I’ve cried twice. I’m a mess.

I don’t actually find Jude Law particularly attractive, actually.

I’m almost ready to take up the tea habit again. I’m missing it.

I typed that and five minutes later the Headspace app popped up a Mindful Moment that read “Fancy a cup of tea? …”

I am much too connected to the world at large. I hated the book Feed, but it doesn’t seem too far off the mark these days.

Sorry for the depressing post. Better luck next week.


Random Wednesday

sunflower planted by Stormageddon.

Some weeks Random is hugely popular. Some weeks I might get 3 likes if I’m lucky. I just never know. It’s weird.

When did you get old?

I’m tired of the Russian Mob trope in TV shows. I instantly lose interest when it comes up.

Wow. I had no idea!

I don’t think anything I’ve done warrants being attacked by ground bees every time they dig a hole on my Compound.

Maybe the ground bees were a message.

I’m soooooooo excited about the new season of Jack Ryan. Such a good show.

Wow. I spent literal years of my life in a dark room. This saddens me greatly.

I don’t think people should have been mean about it though. There’s no reason on this Earth that the kid would know what a dark room is.

HOW did I not know about this???

I feel like this is what I want for dinner every day. But with not adventurous cheese.



This is actually nuts. But also didn’t Obama float something along these lines? I seem to recall he did. Maybe his wasn’t forced though … Whatever. This is nuts.

This is also totally fucking nuts. *Update* The prosecuting attorney dropped the charges.

I completely forgot that it’s Wednesday. Which seems to be happening a lot lately.

Now I’m gross. Stupid basement.

Now it’s Newt Gingrich. Leave me alone, dammit!

“You gotta stop talking to me over the wall, kid.”
45 seconds later …


Bitch, please.

This is strangely hypnotic and beautiful.

Ha. Like 10 people have sent me the link to the new death museum in Mt Clemens. That is awesome.

Human beings are actually designed to eat meat. It’s a biological fact that we are omnivores.

safe from what?

be calm bee balm- now with more calm

Well. That was interesting.

I don’t know how you start your vacation, but I start mine by being woken up by a migraine and the urgent need to vomit. Good times.

I’m not really a Luke Bryan fan, but this song is pretty great. He’s allegedly playing a farm just up the road from me this fall. That’s kind of cool. That he does that, I mean.

I like the Irish theme song better.

I have a Meijer cupcake problem. Don’t judge me.

Have I mentioned that before?

The acting in this particular episode of Crossing Jordan is especially atrocious.


So much dread.

Wow. It’s been non-stop since I walked in the door.

Holy shit. I don’t want to jinx anything, and I know it’s only been one day, but my new boss is kind of amazing.

See. I actually really like this song.

You know I can’t stand Bill Maher, but this is pretty good.

hot cold hot cold hot cold hot cold hot cold

I need to get this book read. I have no motivation to read this book.

He probably left her over the abortion cake.

Why the hell did he marry her in the first place, anyway? So weird.

Maybe I should learn to play an instrument.

Maybe after I graduate I should start martial arts of some kind.

Maybe after I graduate I should take an obscenely long vacation somewhere I’ve always wanted to go.

I suppose I should start saving all the monies.

This is the best deal, maybe ever


Random Wednesday

I just can’t really explain how this feels, and I’m pretty sure that people don’t believe me when I tell them.

I’m quite sure that the doctors don’t believe I experience these side effects.

I should just quit going to doctors. Except my chiropractor. I like him.

Plus he smells nice.

Nobody wants to hear me complain. What am I even doing here.

I hate Detroit. But hey, y’all have Juggalos, and they already know how to thwart facial recognition software, so maybe you should think about changing your style.

That health assessment makes me irrationally angry. But it saves me 20 bux a pay period, which adds up. Bastards.

So cool!

I’m perpetually torn between wishing I had a lunch date and not wanting to speak to other humans on my lunch.

OK, chanting “send her back” is classless. Cut that shit out.

Man. I have life insurance. Stop emailing me about how I’m gonna die.

Did I say this here, or only in my head? I was talking somewhere about the Trump digs, etc. at the conference. Attending really was a privilege for me, and I do believe it was worth my time. But Heterodox really does have an issue with representation. I said that it was much like the representation at a typical university – a handful of cons in a sea of progs. Trump’s name should never have come up at all. But whatever. I still think it was a valuable use of my time, for the most part.

Except that one panel I sat through. EGO EGO EGO. And all progs. Every one. Waste. Of. Time.

This is clearly not going to be enough coffee.

bless you

Kalamazoo College is not “suburban.” It’s in the middle of the fucking city. It’s two blocks from us. We’re not suburban either.

I think we’re the “someones.”

!!!!! This is probably my favorite ‘Mats album altogether.

It never ends. Interesting side note – Kathy’s family became U.S. citizens after emigrating from China.


I never know which one to use.

Also, I keep being told that only white people can be racist. So how is a Chinese American even capable of racism?

I was telling a friend that the constant progressive correction of all the things reminds me of the episode of The Simpsons (way back when I still watched the Simpsons) where Ned Flanders is lamenting something I can’t recall and he’s questioning his faith and God and says something along the lines of how he always follows what the Bible says, “even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!” There is no way you can ever be “right” in a progressive world. Not when feelings trump all.

OK, yeah, but. The bear was tranquilized. In the ocean. Dude probably wasn’t likely to get eaten or mauled. Drowned maybe. But whatever. Good on you for saving the bear. That was a good thing. This makes me sound like a bit of a dick maybe.

But stop overinflating things I guess is my point. Loads of people could save a tranquilized bear. Maybe he was the one who tranquilized the bear in the first place. We don’t know.

I should stop talking now.

I gotta stop veering into these moods where I just criticize everything. Maybe if I had a less toxic work environment …

I think Walt’s abrupt killing off in Season 6 is weird. And abrupt. And weird. I really don’t even remember any of this season.

Maybe I’ll just delete all that.

Once again, questioning whether I should even continue Random at all.

Haaaa this is fantastic.

It’s not like it’s a secret that – self censorship engaged

Actually. Re-reading this. It’s not that bad.

I already answered that question.

Hmmm. Unfriended again. I never know who it was. It’s a puzzle.

I think people are getting tired of me.

Maybe I should learn to play an instrument.

Also, Mr. Rogers was talking to children. Not grown ass adults who should be the ones doing the helping.

I say again, I just never felt the same connection to Mr. Rogers that evidently the rest of my generation did.

And those puppets creeped me the fuck out.

I’ve never cared for rhubarb.

I do enjoy zucchini though.

My shoes are stinky. And now you know that about me.

At least these particular shoes anyway.

I would love to see what happens to Detroit under a $20/hr minimum wage. A city that lost more than a quarter of its population in a decade, filed for bankruptcy, and has been struggling for survival. Sure. Go ahead. I bet they’d still re-elect her. Michigan would be OK if we could just give the east side back to Canadia.

Eating should not be this complicated. This is why I need a personal chef. Or something.

Why did Orwell have such weird hair?

Look I tried to read the New Yorker article on Al Franken, but I just couldn’t finish it. Y’all are whining about due process now?

Well. What shall I re-watch now?

I can’t be that goth if I like New Order better than Joy Division.

I don’t think that student was especially impressed with me.

Great, now Karl Rove is emailing me. Listen, Karl. Just because I let you get a picture with me that one time doesn’t make us friends.


I just have a hard time seeing this as anything other than using the law to force a woman to do something against her will – essentially state sanctioned sexual assault. I don’t believe anyone, ever, should be forced to perform any kind of service they’re not comfortable with. This guy is clearly not truly trans. This guy is clearly a predatory monster. This is insane.

These photos are the best thing you’ll see today.

The scariest thing about this house is that it’s in California.


What kind of lunatic turns down an offer of $22K to wipe out children’s debt? This whole thing is insane.

I serve on a University wide committee. I volunteered for every sub-committee entirely because it would get me out of this office regularly. This place is a toxic hell.

You guys. Rutger Hauer.

I’m trying to come up with some of my favorite movies and I can’t think of a single one. Also it’s been a ridiculously long time since I’ve watched a movie.

My head is really turning the pain level up to 11 this week. I don’t know what’s going on, but JESUS.

This post is probably long enough. Probably.


Random Wednesday

the “indian trail”

I can’t believe there isn’t one photo of them actually in the wild in this whole story. So disappointing.

red-hot news in the firefly community

I, for one, miss the character driven action movie for adults.

Jesus, Lord. Just take a piece of candy and go. You don’t need to rifle through the whole damn candy bowl, stand there opening your choice, then make all the mouth noises ever while you consume your sugar.

A damn fine man.

No, really. Stop emailing me, Mitch. I don’t know you.

OMG Beard & Goldfish HA. I could play with that site all day. Legion & Fang is also a good one.

This is hilarious.


This list is fucking appalling. McCarthyism at its finest. Anyone who doesn’t find that list terrifying is the exact kind of person who stood next to Hitler and Stalin and Mao and so may others, and said “this is for the greater good of our people.”

I work with someone who absolutely will not be corrected and her mistakes have actually cost us money. But whatevs. What do I know? I’m just an executive assistant. Nobody has to listen to me.

Sorry, but if burning the American flag is protected by the First Amendment, then burning ANY flag is protected by the First Amendment. And rightly so.

I’ve actually known this was coming up for months, but I love that so many of my people tagged me on it. SOMEDAY!

So many links this week. Sheesh!


God dammit. Now Newt Gingrich is emailing me again. How do I get on these stupid lists?

It’s just me. I’m an asshole.

There’s no reason to hold staff meetings in the summer. And yet.


WTF did you do, dude.

I knew things were leaning this way after hearing about the famous case of Kitty Genovese. The claim was that no one helped, no one called police, etc. because everyone assumed someone else already had. This case is used in training even here on campus to teach people to act. The thing is, people are naturally inclined to act, reflexively. Even in the Genovese case, dozens of people called police after hearing her screams. People tried to find her and were not able to.

While you’re at it, go ahead and read this. Is the president an ass? Yes. Is what he said racist? I don’t believe that it was. But stating that makes me a racist. He shouldn’t have said what he did. Or he should have said it more eloquently and intelligently. But he made a legitimate point.

You shouldn’t have been there.




Wait. I’m from Michigan.

Ope. Things got weird and I forgot what day it was again.

Gotta come up with a Halloween/Death talk with video. I’ve been asked to present. The right vid is tough to find.

But why would you do this though. So much dumb.

I feel like this is the kind of job I should be doing instead of the ridiculous job I am doing.

I would like to be not in the office.

Chris Pratt seems like one of the most genuinely nice guys in the world. This kind of shit is petty and tiresome.

It’s a quibble with the Karen hair, ladies and gentlemen.

Look. Just leave. It’s fine. No one cares.

It’s a death reading list!

We will suspend your social security number posthaste!

I definitely need more headache drugs. Definitely.


Random Wednesday

i’m not the only one who took a photo of this phone booth in the wild.

Millennium was one of the greatest television shows ever made. This is an old story, but an interesting comparison.


The live action Mulan looks pretty kick ass.

But I can’t wait for the new Maleficent.

I feel like “Black Noir” is kind of redundant.

God I miss film. Maybe that’s why I’m so MEH about photography lately. Maybe I need to get into some FILM.

Maybe I’ll just take my 35mm on the road with me this weekend.

Revisiting places I thought I’d never see again.

This weekend is not enough time.

It’s really only one day, with the driving.

The last thing we need is more roosters.

No butter is worth $50 per pound.

WHAT is wrong with this stupid email?

I probably better tone that shit down a little.

I suppose I’m in no position to judge.

The difference between us is that I’ll never be convinced that what I do matters, while you’re absolutely convinced of your own vital importance.

I think you mean faint. Not feint.

“Unsending” a message on Instagram is a miracle. I did not mean to “react” to your story post, you horrible creature.

I have just realized I have nothing nice to say about anything just now. So I shall stop.

Tiny Statue of Liberty!!!

I feel like a lump today.

There’s never a bad day to drum up some outrage. P.S. Hey Brooke Newman? That’s not why they feel marginalized.

Sometimes you have to try a little harder.

I think this website is broken.

I regret the olives.

I barely slept last night and I do not know why.

It’s probably because of this place.

Wow, people really like this dress.

Really. Everyone could use an hour of laughing their ass off with me. I’m hilarious.

Why is Mitch McConnell emailing me? I can’t help you with your problems, Mitchell. I can’t even fix my own shit.

Ooooh another unfriending. I wonder who it was.

WTF am I supposed to do with this kid?

Oh good. It currently “feels like” 98 degrees. I can’t wait to walk into that wall of awful.

I don’t know what it is about that little girl’s voice, but if she doesn’t shut up I might start throwing things.

You’re selling a refrigerator and you can’t even be bothered to clean it? “Needs to be wiped out. 5 minute job.” Take five minutes and clean it, bitch. Nobody wants your gross dirty refrigerator.

Townsend 2020 : I keep reaching for duct tape.

This is hilarious.

“I’m tempted on this day to remind you that there’s nothing inherently dangerous about a sneaker company currying favor with a woke athlete, or fellow citizens complaining about displays of patriotism and military might. On the other hand, I think Ronald Reagan was right when he said we’re always one generation away from losing the freedoms we currently enjoy. Along with the siren song of socialism, the persistent promise of ‘free’ stuff, and the breathtaking level of censorship on our college campuses, I worry about the growing belief among many that we can somehow improve our present by erasing our past; by toppling statues, outlawing ‘problematic’ symbols, or rewriting specific pieces of our history in ways that leave us feeling less offended.”

I love you Mike Rowe.

God I hate florals.

i need to find some lower thinking

This is legit a bleak as fuck book. Definitely not for the newly trying to be death positive.

Kinda wish you could still get No Doz.

sooooooooo dizzy.

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