Women had influence. Women have always had influence.

People didn’t much care for Random last week. Must have been my rant chastising half the population.

Reading 14 different books, sometimes you add notes to the wrong sheet.

I was super motivated but it seems to have evaporated. Exhausted itself.

I would totally be your president, but I’m unelectable.



There are objective truths.

Why wouldn’t you exonerate these men?

Don’t you ever get tired of only sharing the half of the story that fits your narrative?  Doesn’t it make you feel just the tiniest bit dishonest?

No, of course not.

That couple in Kentucky never refused to self-quarantine. They refused to sign papers. Stop twisting the truth to fit your agenda.

“Here’s the problem with working homicide. There’s so much death.”

FB connection: OMG THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS VOTER FRAUD, PEOPLE. Headline: Woman jailed for voter fraud.

“Michigan’s retail liquor sales a bright spot amid coronavirus economy slump.” Yes, because the lockdown has turned everyone into alcoholics.

Ha. 2009: “I have two monitors and it’s weird. 2020: “OMG I CAN’T FUCKING DO MY JOB WITH ONLY ONE MONITOR.”

“Hey, Jen, write up a return to work plan, fill out these forms, submit. Be as detailed as possible. Cover all contingencies.” Great, done, everyone agrees on it, submit. “OK so all of the departments have submitted and there’s no consistency at all (HOW ARE YOU SHOCKED BY THIS) so we all have to start back at the beginning.” COME ON.

I love when women post themselves on IG and are all OMG I’m leaving the house with no makeup! And they’re clearly wearing mascara for instance. Like what do you call no makeup? Makeup is makeup, bitches.

Well I could just post a short one. People seemed to be very put off by last Random. Not many people liked it at all.


Fuck it. I’ll just keep adding to this week. I’m less cranky than last week. Let’s see where my more defeatist attitude takes us, shall we.

Whitmer is a fascist lunatic.

I’m all for someone ousting Fred Upton, but Elena Oelke. What the hell is up with your makeup? What happened to your eyebrows?

That’s such a typical catty woman thing to do. Fixate on her looks instead of her platform. I don’t even know her platform. I’m such a hypocrite today. Ha. Doesn’t matter. Upton will win again. Because WE WANT CHANGE but we refuse to vote for it.

All of the skin on my elbows and knees is molting. It’s strange and off-putting.

Batman vs Man-bat please. Holy hell I loved that series.

Well. This is shaping up to be a total disaster.

Seven and the Ragged Tiger was a better album than Rio, fight me.

United States Department of Agriculture’s Animal Plant Health Inspection Service’s Plant Protection and Quarantine Smuggling, Interdiction and Trade Compliance Unit

“What do you do for a living?”
“Oh I work for the United States Department of Agriculture’s Animal Plant Health Inspection Service’s Plant Protection and Quarantine Smuggling, Interdiction and Trade Compliance Unit. Half of my work day is just reciting the name of my department when making phone calls.”

Where are all the responsible adults?

all the very best of us

Look. I didn’t want to love this album, but I listened because The National, and I do actually dig several Taylor Swift songs. I feel no shame about that whatsoever. But this song is killing me right now. It’s so beautiful.

This year is hell on resisting taking up drinking or a new smoking habit, lemme tell ya.

I’m not going to be able to move tomorrow.

97% of the time he’s just fucking with you because it amuses him and it’s so gorram easy.

“What’s the world come to when this guy’s allowed to get away with having his own opinion?”

Guess this whole work from home thing will be going on for the rest of the year. I have no problem with that whatsoever.

Where the hell did lux esto come from?

Ohhhhhhhhh. Yeah. Those guys. Never mind.

Better than most. Not as good as some. And annoyed with all.

Made all those masks for work, and now I’m not going to work.

I need this one tho.

I don’t know why I’m watching The Gilmore Girls again, and neither do you.

Of all the weird shit that has happened this year, a coin shortage is actually one of the most unexpected.

Well. Tree guys are booked. That’s one thing accomplished this year.


No. I have not actually read the safe return plan. I feel like that would not be a good use of my time.

In the immortal words of Taylor Swift, “This is me trying.”