Or total dork. Whatever.
What was it? Oh yes. I am a nerd. A smokin’ hot nerd.
Why are there fruit flies in my bathroom?
I hate it when a hair gets stuck on the soap.
Can you imagine?
I probably need this for my commute.
Well. Some of these are, in fact, timed that way purposely.
God, I wish she would pick up her feet when she walks.
I hope today isn’t tornado drill day. These are the wrong shoes for a tornado drill.
I wonder what it’s like to live with a persecution complex.
Absolutely incredible. Particularly Portfolio III (Portfolio II doesn’t really do anything for me.)
How often am I really going to need to shoot a Glock underwater?
I wish I could say
These are nice. We did this in photography school.
My attitude needs readjusting. For serious.
This pic has always bothered me, because if you were, somehow, to literally stick your head up your own ass, wouldn’t your skull be right side up?
Brad Pitt: Angelina is sexy as ever. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Brad Pitt.
If you’re not going to be MARRIED married, why bother getting married at all??
“Today, I’m Doctor Who Gives a Crap?”
Ugh. Jelly beans are not a subsitute for protein.
“Quinoa and her BFF Chevron prepared a class presentation on The Captain and Tennille for Famous Person’s Day.”
The digital age has made piss poor proofreaders of us all. Well, not me. I’m still awesome. I’m mostly talking about the “news.”
I actually typed “The stupid age” by mistake. Which may also be fairly accurate.
“I can extract enjoyment out of it.” As if, after poring over the experience, carefully examining every detail, you surgically removed the enjoyment, setting it aside for later, to be partaken of with your bedtime cuppa and perhaps some buttered toasts.
I just. Really???? How did these two people not only find each other, but somehow fall in LOVE? She just makes it so incredibly easy to hate her. And enough with the blender metaphor.
I shouldn’t judge. So. Fine. I’m sure that their totally bizarre relationship works very well for them. I’d say it’s none of my business, but when you put your business out on the interwebs it kind of becomes everyone’s business.
I hate it when a link to an article is posted with a thumbnail and you click through specifically because you want to see the thumbnail larger, but when you do, THAT image is no where to be found. It’s just rude.
Wit Wit Fang? witwitfang? witwitfang.
I will drive past your house
I don’t care what anyone says, I love Dolly Parton.
Do you ever have a moment where you just suddenly stop what you’re doing and say, “Oh shit! What if I’m really dead, and I just don’t know it yet?”
Yeah, me neither.
I broke the interwebs.
Seems like that would be an annoying shirt to garden in.
50 degrees is not warm enough for air conditioning! Stupid building.
This is a rad cake.
What is more ridiculous to me than Miss Utah’s answer, is the fact that everyone is talking about a beauty pageant contestant making a comparatively half witted response to a comparatively half witted question. How does anyone give a shit what these women have to say? How does anyone pretend that these pageants are about anything other than tits and ass?
I’m not a Katy Perry fan, but she seems like a sweet enough girl, and that was just a douchey thing to do. Of course, Russell Brand is a creeptastic douche, so …
I just don’t want to know about masturbating fetuses.
I’d add a “What others are saying about me” section, but I don’t have any idea what others are saying about me.
OK, that’s a lie. I have an idea. But generally you just don’t want to perpetuate those kinds of things. It’s all a dirty, vicious lie anyway.
No, really, I swear I’m not evil.
Just yesterday I was tempted to do something an eensy bit evil but just the thought of it made me feel so guilty I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And it wasn’t even that evil. It was like a -3 on the Evil scale of Evil – 1 being networks canceling your favorite shows and 10 being Nancy Pelosi on a whiskey bender about to fuck with your health insurance.
No, I think you’re going to have to come back when you can rephrase that.
$100.00 just to rent that stupid book. ARgh. Do I still have a tip jar?
Oh thank the Gods. You could not have chosen a worse actor to play Connor McLeod.
Every time I see a current picture of Val Kilmer I exclaim, “Dear God, man!” It’s like an involuntary reflex.
I’d like to read your blog. It looks like it might be fun. But you use white text on a black background. And it huuuuuuuurts my eyes, man!
“We have the solstice Friday and a full moon on Sunday. Expect everything to get exceedingly more fucked up as the week progresses.” Oh that’s just spectacular.
Well. That’s enough of that!
I’m sorry, I think intervention in Syria is a bad idea.
Everyone hates the United States, but everyone needs the United States. Everyone wants us to police the rest of the world, and then bitch about us while we do it. I say we quit. See how you like it when we stay at home and play in our own yard.
That goes for the billions in aid, as well.
Yep, that’s a good one.
I don’t still have a tip jar.
I’m awful sweary today.
I have been putting this damn thing off long enough. Must. Focus! So boring!
WTF is subtweeting?
Why haven’t I just gone ahead and deleted my Twitter account?
I need this dress, right? It’s not a want issue. It’s a legitimate need.
Also, why isn’t this the door to my study/office/place I go in my house with all my stuff in it?
I was trying to suspend my disbelief when I realized that this shit is meant to be non fiction.
I do so love Italian food.
“Wow. First of all. Who can possibly write that MUCH, so OFTEN about themselves?” “Amanda Palmer.”
Yeah, that’s what I said too.
Wait. This is a real guy? *snort*
“You’re really good at getting people to do stuff they’re supposed to do.” Tell that to Miss W.
“I don’t know how much longer I have, I’m almost out of food. The creatures on the outer rim are moving closer every day. I don’t know if help is coming, or if I will ever make it home. I just want to see my wife and daughter one last time … I’ll keep updating for as long as I can. If anyone ever finds this, please – tell Lulu I love her, from the moment I first laid eyes on her …” *crackle* *static* *shots fired* *dead air*
I just saw #audittheirs and read it as Audit Theirs. Which, really, also fits.
now i’m overwrought. i’m overwrought.
Oddly, I still remember the first time I ever saw that video. MTV. High school. 120 Minutes.
I wanted to be bffs with Kennedy.
Er. You know it’s only Wednesday, right?
Oh, is it Passive Aggressive Facebook Time? I didn’t get the memo.
Wait. I have both of those things …
Well. I suppose you could use your candy dish for your ammo …
Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! That would so RULE.
Leg fence, FTW!
Honestly. That’s a serious set of balls.
The bird. And the waterfall. Magic indeed.
Gosh, I’m glad I’m not a gun blogger.
Mad elf! Mad elf! Duck!
Your hairy armpits don’t so much perturb me as gross me out.
I hate you G+! I wish I could make you go away!
Are those reams of paper on the stage at the Tea Party Rally?
Hey, Microsoft Word? School is actually a word. Quit with your red squiggles.
(Original) Monsters Inc at the Park Theatre? I think I’ve seen that movie 47 times.
I’m wearing the blue tube top.
Shut up, it’s long. It’s not like the 70s tube tops.
Yes. You were right. I did need that shirt.
I don’t know what to do about a theme song. I’m not a musician.
I really should have learned an instrument. Or been born with some musical talent. Or both.
I should be allowed to be a Friend of the Library in ways that do not involve large monetary donations. Because we all know that while I am generous of spirit, I am not exactly swimming in the Benjamins.
Oh, it’s like ten dollars. Never mind. I can probably swing that.
Argh! It’s Chrome! Chrome has been causing all my problems! Stupid GOOGLE.
I ride and ride and ride and ride
la la la la la la lalala la la
OK. See? Now I feel bad about being judgey about Neilmanda.
I need a hair cut.
I need a hair dye.
Did you win any money?
half buried in the