wm7974I wonder how many people who wear Misfits t shirts have ever actually heard a Misfits song.

I do not appreciate Christmas in July. Halloween in July is something I could get behind. But not Christmas.

But probably not even Halloween.

Bloody teddies.

Bloodthirsty capitalist.

Yeah, OK. I don’t normally link to Upworthy, because mostly they just annoy me. But this was really … a pleasant surprise.

YES! Keep your weird food issues to yourselves!!! I don’t tell you what to put in your body, leave me and my Diet Coke alone.

Actually, I almost never drink Diet Coke any more, any way. But that’s not the point!!!

Yeah, I’m going to do that … not right now.

Plug it in right there.

I can never remember the name of that painter.

I don’t know why the devil can’t beat his wife when it’s gloomy. Or maybe that’s when she beats him.

i’ll be your

There’s a difference between “phobia” and “ignorance”. Just because someone is ignorant about something, does not mean that they are phobic about it. Enough with the bullshit.

Additionally, just because you are ignorant about something, does not mean you are stupid. It means you are lacking education on a topic. I am completely ignorant on astrophysics. And yet, I am an astonishingly intelligent human being.

I think I need a standing desk. Too bad for me there’s nothing in the budget for that.

The search tool in Webmail is useless.

But. But. It’s for our own good!

Why do people feel the need to continuously announce where they are going as they walk out the door? I don’t care.

112 days to Halloween!

Piss off, lady.

Well. That was considerably less painful than anticipated.

The air is so thick with humidity you can practically lean on it.

Someone should tell Tom Hanks that that mustache is just creepy and he needs to shave it off his face right now.

#21. Teen slang makes you viscerally angry. Like my friend Dalee, I would argue that most of these apply to those of us nearing 40 as well.

Although, I have no idea what West Elm is.

Oh look at that. We can drive through Illinois with loaded pistols legally now. The question remains, why would anyone want to go to Illinois in the first place?

I need a snack.

2698 hours to Halloween!

What the hell happened to my crow feather?

It’s sort of … mesmerizing.

45 Enemies of Freedom

For the love of all that is holy. STOP TALKING WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL OF FOOD!!!!!!!

Interspecies internet? Um.

This is pretty cool.

AMAZING!!

“When that became a thing was a dark time in history.” Yes. Yes it was.

I REALLY need an office with a door. Really.

I think someone should ask me to take photos of Neil Gaiman. And pay me. And make sure he’s actually there to photograph.

Look. I don’t really ask all that much of you people, so my handful of very simple rules should not be that difficult to comply with. Do NOT speak to me before 8:00 a.m. That is my personal time. I don’t care what your work issue is, it is never so important that it can’t wait until I’m on the damn clock. DO NOT interrupt my lunch break because you need something. That is my personal time, and your procrastination is not going to become my emergency. DO NOT walk into my pathetic excuse for an office and start talking to me without my acknowledging your presence. Knock and wait. It’s common flipping courtesy.

And that’s why I have cranky face right now. Your procrastination is NOT my problem.

WHY are there so many versions of this horrific song?

If you’re spending that much time worrying about Barbie’s influence on your daughter, you need to calm the hell down and buy her a Tonka truck or something.

“Jesus take the wheel.” That makes me giggle. I may have to start using that.

It’s hard not to be resentful. Or not resentful, so much as just sort of … I don’t know. Shunned.

I am building my own family, and it will be a mighty empire! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha …. !

I can’t believe you actually asked that question. What are you, deficient?

161928 minutes to Halloween!

No, really. I REALLY need to dye my hair.

Oh Come ON. OK, yogis. Give it up. Go home. You’re a bunch of asshats appropriating culture and shit. Think about that during your next sun salutation.

Wait, you don’t think I should be involved in an argument about a “woman’s right to choose” because I don’t happen to be “pro choice.” Honey, last time I checked, I not only had a uterus, but used it to grow a person. I’d say that’s all the qualification I need.

Dammit! The interwebs just ate a good portion of Random! ARGH.

I wish someone could magically make me love running.

Runners always look completely miserable.

I wasn’t sure on the time is all.

Courage and cowardice. Yes.

You don’t want to argue the morality of abortion, but everyone who wants one should have one. You want universal health care, provided by the government, but you don’t want the government to legislate your body. You want taxpayer funded abortions, but you don’t want the taxpayers to have a say in those abortions. Grow up. Just grow the hell up.

I used to be pro-choice. No. I used to think I was pro-choice.

Of course, I used to think I was a liberal.

And now I’ve gone all off on a tangent.

Bring it on back now, people!

OK, yeah. I love the iPhone. It is so very awesome. Thank you, Liesel.

I think it qualifies as satire. Because I actually have a great deal of admiration for him.

Ugh. I’ve been walking in crappy shoes all week and now my shins hurt.

I never think of Mike Rowe as unimpressive. I quite often think of Mike Rowe asĀ … lunchable.

Too many tabs open at once! I got lost!

9715706 seconds to Halloween!

Just drawing pictures of your comfort food allegedly makes you happier. My desk is going to be covered in doodles of little tea and toasts.

So with all the talk about choosing the actor to play Jamie Fraser I’m kind of getting SUPER excited about Starz turningĀ Outlander into an actual series. I love those books so much.

Aw, this made me sad. They are such a great band.

Dammit, Facebook! Stop changing shit!

Chicken tacos. You are not my favorite. But you are, on occasion, delicious.

heeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. ouch.

Wow, the humidity has dropped a good 60% since this morning! Excellent!

Taxpayer funded racism. Your president’s men at work, ladies and gentlemen.

I never really pictured the devil as the wife havin’ type, actually.

I used to write all the time. I used to write crazy short stories. Not sure what happened with that, really. I’m probably a better photographer than I was a writer anyway.

I just know someone out there just said “Well, that’s not saying much!”

One day. one day. some day. A day.

No, I didn’t order that t shirt. I really wanted to though.

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