It bothers me that Dennis Miller’s newsletter thingamawhatsit is called Dennis Miller Dot-Dot-Dot followed by an elipse.

Cross eyed.

Um. NO. Well. I bet Miss W would like it though. Maybe for Christmas. It’s not that bad.

Hayden Panettiere should not have bangs.

It’s going to be a long month.

“jennifer townsend – photographery guru, proud cynic, whovian.”

hee

I would never own a McDonald’s in Detroit, but if I did, and all of my employees went on strike because they wanted some ridiculous $15.00 an hour and I had to shut down my business for a week, I would fire every last one of them and hire people who actually want to work.

Dear God.

I’m never going to top the views on the gun post.

“He offered me a nice surveillance package.”

Hello, sugar coated donut of joy. I am going to eat you now.

I ask a lot of rhetorical questions. People are always trying to actually answer them.

Huh

copypasta

Maybe what the “tribe” can’t deal with is your total dishonesty. Chances are that no one gives an actual shit what your gender is or what you want it to be. You lied. And you perpetuated that lie all over the internet. That makes you not a good human.

I love this so much.

Actual agony. I can’t even tell you.

So, no boots on the ground, except where there might need to be boots on the ground. But it’s not a war or anything. No, for serious guys. Totally not a war. Well, not in the “classical sense” of the term. But no boots on the ground, that’s not an option at all. Until it’s an option because weapons of mass destruction and stuff. And also it’s not about regime change. We’re not interested in regime change. But we might make a regime change because Assad – crazy. But it’s totally not a war though. And also what red line? That’s not my red line. What?

You people are straight up ridiculous.

Really? I’ve been here five years and all I get is this stupid form letter from the vice president? Lame. Oh, extra vacation time? OK then. Better.

Um. Just a gentle reminder. Turtles do not “give birth.” They lay eggs. I think that’s kind of an important, and basic, biological fact to know.

Hell. Yes.

It’s just wishful posting. I think I need to start labeling my status updates. “This is not meant to be taken seriously.” “This is a rhetorical question that does not require your serious response.” “This is not an indication that I plan to spend several hundred dollars on a new toy, as I have no actual disposable income.” Might be useful.

I am not accomplishing anything right now.

Maybe Henry Rollins hasn’t found love because he’s a great big jerk. Just a thought.

I hadn’t even thought that if you don’t learn to write cursive you probably won’t know how to read cursive. I wonder what that will do to the study of historical documents. We’re doomed! Miss W will be learning cursive for sure.

This is based on a book. I hated this book so much. Like a visceral hatred. And it refuses to fade from memory. Also in the book – the main character was not the “perfect aesthetic form of a mesmerizing woman”. I will not be watching this movie.

VICTORY!!!!!

Another Goddamned cracker.

Ugh. So much ugh. ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh. Ugh.

That’s a terrible idea.

Weep for your future, America.

Graham McTavish is kind of hot when he’s not all hobbited.

A really stupid bee. That was blind.

hobbitteddededed. ed.

el oh el oh dear

56 days, 15 hours, 10 minutes, 10 seconds til Halloween!!!

This week is kicking my ass.

I have finally found the perfect concealed carry bag. Of course, I can’t afford it … le sigh.

Veddy veddy cool.

So much reading to do.

pedia

Um. OK. Be a jerk then. Jerk.

“I’m really fucking tired of the Middle East.” You and me both, sister.

Afraid of Russia. Please.

We always seem to get left off the list.

I haven’t given you any music this week. How awful.

like some ancient lover

I always feel like I need to remind people that I am not actually a Republican. I don’t even play one on TV. Although I could. I’d probably be really good.

It’s semestember. The twelveteenth.

Weepy.

That chicken up.