wm8694Security question I was just asked because I forgot my password for the twelvetieth time: Where were you when you first heard about 9/11?

Just another reason to tell Islam to piss off.

Listening to kids play is like listening to someone read aloud a play in the midst of being written, including stage direction:
“Pretend I ran away because I’m so terrified.”
“Yeah, but then you came back after, like, 3 years.”
“Yeah, pretend I’ve been adventuring with my bat, but then I came back.”

These are fascinating.

Rocket frog!

Oh God. It’s the return of the Wednesday morning meeting. I can’t take it.

Look at this cuteness!

I never win the boots.

anybody could be that guy

Ooooooh! Yes yes yes yes yes!

I don’t know what this “humblebrag” business is, but I’m already annoyed with it.

I can’t believe I forgot my lunch again.

What could possibly go wrong?

All they do all the time is bitch, bitch, bitch. And they wonder why I’m not all that interested in helping them.

lay my burdens down

I’m fairly certain that the Walking Dead does not merit a spin off series of any kind.

It’s Munchausen’s, obviously.

I am not a doctor but I play one on the internet.

CNN. Reporting … something.

So, is there anything you actually do like? Because your Facebook feed is painful.

Meh. I never go to Starbucks anyway. Overpriced coffee that, frankly, isn’t even good. But, I don’t think he is being unreasonable. It’s one thing to casually go in, openly carrying, and be nonchalant about getting your coffee. It’s a totally different story to walk in with an AR strapped to your back. You’re just forcing confrontation that doesn’t do our side any favors.

I’m starting to hate camels.

The writers at Bust just get more ridiculous all the time. “Miley isn’t at fault, it’s the director.” Really? Because Miley had no say in the contents of her own music video? She’s not a grown woman who could have said, “You know what? Not so much with the naked!” OK. Sure. Blame the guy. That’s what you do. It’s a profession for too many of you. But even aside from all that predictable nonsense, I have to slam on the brakes and say a resounding NO to comparing this video tripe with Francesca Woodman’s work. You are clearly certifiable.

Too much emphasis on sports. I don’t care about your sports.

Yeah, I’m going to have to say I totally understand where she’s coming from on this one


Wasn’t that a cannibal movie?


Can I have some good news please?

I’m pretty sure you mean imminent, not eminent.

What’s not to like about kilts?

High risk. Ha.

Man. Now I’m going to have to find time to rewatch all of Angel.

Shepherd’s Pie is revolting.

I’m not sure you actually know what that phrase means …

goin’ back someday

Just in case anyone was in danger of forgetting she existed …

Free! Yay! I can fall asleep at the symphony for free!

I’d be a kick ass detective. At least on paper. And in my head. And the occasional noir-ish photograph.

more than anything else


Really. Just start handing out copies of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to everyone you see. All the time.

Oh for crying out loud, GVSU. Hi-larious.

This kid. I swear. Every time I get her a new book to read, a book I know she’ll love, she’s all “DRAMATIC SIGH. That sounds terrible! I don’t want to read that book ever! You are so cruel!” And by the time she’s done with it she’s all “OMG!!!! That was the best book EVAR!!!!” Seriously, can you just start saying “YAY! Thanks, mom! I can’t wait to check it out!” and save me some grief?

Ha. I love it when I get emailed by mistake at work.

You will be deleted!

Common Core is the government’s way of creating generations of passive, submissive automatons who won’t fight back. Homeschool while you can.

After the Japanese invaded and occupied Nanjing, (and raped and pillaged and slaughtered its people), the Japanese government changed all the textbooks back home to instill a pro military, pro Japanese, pro New Order mindset in the children. When you control education, you control the population. Remember my mantra, people? STOP Acquiescing!

Open a map to your LAN. Huh.

Ooh, spooky goodness.

I’m so sorry that you’re such a miserable, humorless bastard that you can’t even comprehend the most basic form of sarcasm. You poor, sad, pitiful douchebag.

internet intranet internet intranet internet intranet

It’s not a tumor!

Mr. Sweet.

“He’s an emotional, mental wreck of a human being. And he’s twitchy.”

Well. I tried anyway. I got a little choked up though. Not as smooth as the time I said I’d “shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. It went about as you’d expect something like that to go.” That was the best staff meeting ever.

Man. I love Squirt. It’s been too long since I drank one.

These are lovely. I like the woman with long hair in black with the red wrap.

I dunno, when the Swede shaved his head and was painted all white, the first thing that popped into my head was – “How can we dance when our earth is turning? How do we sleep while our beds are burning?”

That new United Way campaign just makes me think of the One Ring. “One Mission to Unite Us All” I feel like I need to march into Mordor.

She’s got an (evil) tv eye on you.


To your mother.