This is hysterical and awesome.

That was a pretty incredible moon this morning. I’m glad the skies cleared up and that I was able to see it.

Interesting. iPhone that isn’t a phone plays Love Will Tear Us Apart twice in a row. Wonder what that means for my day.

I can’t help it if I laughed.

motherfucker!

Scented duct tape. That seems … odd. Am I the only one who immediately pictured a kidnap victim?

I can’t believe I lost those notes. How did that even happen?

I don’t know what that means, Regis.

I think it’s safe to say that the enterovirus concerns me more than ebola.

My eyes are all bleary.

I kind of love their ad, but I still can’t afford a Leica.

At least I hadn’t gotten very far.

This is me on a workday, but with less face hair.

“Well look at Mt. Pleasant. It’s neither mountainous nor pleasant!”

“OMFG I hate this fucking job.” “Don’t worry, it hates you too.”

I’m sorry, but there is a distinct difference between doctor assisted suicide for a terminally ill patient and other suicides. I do not think it is right to deny someone the choice to end their life if they are terminally ill, in horrible pain, and are ready to move on. I do think that denying this option to patients is cruel.

We need to stop using the phrase “reach out to people” in the office. Thanks very much. There will be no reaching.

And let’s just nip this new catch phrase in the bud right now: “cultural humility”.

jeebus.

I can assure you that I am not conflating Lena Dunham with the character she plays on Girls. I refuse to watch that show.

I heart Thug Notes.

Ooooooh I want it so much!

I need a personal trainer for reals. I’m motivated in my head, but by the time I get home I’m sooooooo tired. And then stuff. And I do nothing. blah. OK, so really I need a drill sergeant.

I briefly entertained asking the ROTC if I could do maneuvers with them in the mornings. But I’d have to get up at like 4. So that’d be maybe 4 hours of sleep. On a good day.

diligently plotting

I dunno. Maybe we should reschedule.

My analysis of Common Core, No Child Left Behind, and Race to the Top? All liberal school reform efforts that have failed.

I have to say, I didn’t even recognize Michael Keaton. I love him.

Win a free book every day this month? OK!

Aw, I love Bill Murray so much.

That was a great visit. Yay!

Sadness. There is a hole in my sock. All my Halloween socks are coming down with holes. I need new Halloween socks.

I HAVEN’T DONE A COUNTDOWN! What is wrong with me??

22 days, 532 hours, 31, 911 minutes, 1,914,587 seconds til Halloween

Well, OK, not ALL the South Park episodes. But many of them are acceptable.

I always think I could sleep for days, but my brain starts to hurt if I sleep more than 5 or 6 hours at a time. Stupid brain pain.

That sounds like Kevin Spacey kind of.

This hat does not want to be knit.

I don’t know what a tactical smooch is, but it sounds like something I need.

Why am I watching this?

This hat is jinxed.

He’s going to kidnap the other sister!

God. A Hole in the World kills me. Every. Time.

I should have joined the FBI.

I’d probably hate being in the FBI.

“Feels like we ought to have known.”

huh

Roof pig. Most unexpected.