Are you serious? How do I work here?

The skeleton is my favorite.

“You’re not a racist are you?”
“I’m an equal opportunity misanthrope. I hate everybody.”

I sincerely wish that clothing manufacturers would decide on a uniform bloody sizing chart across the board.

I read that as “Cheese Courage”. It did not say cheese.

I can’t even get an air plant to thrive in this office. It just sucks the life out of everything.

You are a despicable human being.

Huh. We’re getting a Costco. So I guess I’ll finally have that experience.

Soup isn’t a meal. It’s a hot, chunky beverage. I find it insulting.

I really just read this sentence: “Not all women have vaginas.”

I can’t help it, this is funny.

“Jennifer’s causing trouble again.”
Nodding enthusiastically, “It’s my raison d’etre.”

Oh, I like the final frontier t shirt!

I’ve never experienced a block on a paper this profound before. I’m 100% certain it’s the subject matter.

Facebook suggested posts lately are all plus size clothing sites. WTF Facebook?

If you are in League with Lucifer he gives you mad climbing skills.

Did you mean make your peace with your piece?

Why would you ruin a perfectly good caramel by putting salt all over it?

I need one of these with my name for my lawn. Or my cube.

I need my migraine medicine and it’s very far away. It’s this stupid weather.

“Pretty as a picture” is such an odd phrase.

I really hate my hair today.

Interesting. There is a photographer who did a series like this, in the states I think it was, who did not ask permission first. That is not right.

Ah yeah. Arne Svenson. The courts ruled in his favor. I am not comfortable with that at all.

I Googled “What the hell is Gamergate” and am no more enlightened than I was before the search. I might care a little less though.

It reminds me of Andy Taylor’s album when he did that soundtrack for that gymnastics movie back in the 80s. I think it must be the cheesy guitar solo. I freely admit owning that album. And loving it. Don’t judge me.

Huh. I might still kinda love it. I might need to own it again.

I can’t believe they did not eat all those cookies.

That’s a brilliant costume idea. I wish I’d thought of it. Maybe I’ll do that next year.

OK, maybe I don’t need to own it again. After track 3 I needed a break. Enough of that Andy Taylor business.

Maybe some caffeine will help.

I’m sorry, Merle. You were not a bad cat, as barn cats go. Still. I am now thoroughly convinced that Spike is a minion of Satan and is, in fact, immortal. There is no other logical explanation for his continued survival.

Still. Ironic that you gave up the ghost on National Cat Day.

Why do we have a National Cat Day?

(I am so not a cat person.)

Why are they being so nice to me? Am I dying and nobody told me? It’s making me nervous.

Yes! All of this! Except I don’t enjoy speaking in front of large groups. But I’d totally rather do that than have to make small talk with strangers. Also I don’t go to church, so that’s not really an issue for me.

bah

Markie Post. Wow. There’s a name I haven’t thought of in a while.

Chicken pasty it is.

Does anyone else have that one FB friend that they forget about until he makes some totally asinine remark on one of your posts and you’re all “Wait. Why are we friends??” And then you remember that you only keep him around for the comic relief.

Wow, this is a bad one. On my pain scale, which is skewed, this is an 8.

The steak pasty was definitely better, but this chicken one is not bad.

I don’t know. It should be a law of the universe or something that children not have to die. Children should not have to get sick or suffer or have their lives cut off. It isn’t right.

I need something to cheer me up.

What am I going to do with this baby sort of crawling all over? How did the time go that quickly?

I don’t know how I can get involved when you never do anything in my part of the state. I don’t have time to organize this shit for you. I suppose I could organize it and then use it for independent study or something maybe …

Wow, thinking about that just makes my head hurt more.

I think my misophonia is getting worse.

I did not accept the invitation to question whiteness.

I have got to get a different cell service. This stupid phone doesn’t work any where.

Sure she was calm, she was lying. It’s easy to be calm when you’re bullshitting. The truth is what’s hard.

I kind of love that sweater.

Oh good. Migraine medicine induced sneezing fit for the last 15 minutes. Because I wasn’t in enough misery.

Tea! The Queen’s tea!

I might have to actually wear my winter coat tomorrow. Oh maybe not. I’m not ready to give in.

I feel like I’m forgetting something.

Ah that baby head smell. It’s the best smell in the world. Now that’s zen.

Ugh. Freezing and nauseated. Yay migraine drugs.

fuggit. I’m going to bed.