Dammit! CPR re-certification is going to consume my entire morning. Curses!

These books are too gorram expensive.

I don’t care what anyone says, I love Donna Noble.

There. Now I can totally still save your life. But don’t let’s test that, OK?

That was weird. And probably not good.

Aaaaand now the heat appears to be down. It’s 5 degrees. I love my job so much.

What does that even mean, “Front Office Executive”?

Oprah has everything. I wonder if she gets bored a lot.

I often imagine myself working out and getting in amazing shape. It’s like a whole 80s training montage in my head with all this music and sweat and everything. But that’s as far as it gets.

Snort.

Also Bieber looks terrified in those photos.

“… and I have always been caught by the pull of the unremarkable, by the easily missed, infinitely nourishing beauty of the mundane.”

That is 100% about your political agenda and fuck all to do with any kind of etymology. A hashtag is not a word.

Oh my God. Go home Mitt Romney. And take Jeb Bush with you.

Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt quite that out of place.

I need to remember that I almost never look as bad as I think I do.

damn that peddler.

Sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree. All of these things happen precisely because we are human. Take some responsibility for your own actions, and stop trying to foist it off on various concepts. It’s not complicated.

They all looked like pelvic bones with spines attached except for the few that looked like bats.

Who takes a shower when the power goes out?

How can something be organic and synthetic at the same time in chemistry? I never took a chemistry class.  “It’s organic. Is it some kind of synthetic protein?” That statement/question just doesn’t make sense to me. But I don’t know anything about chemistry.

Why would you ever leave your holstered weapon lying on the table of your hotel room and go running out the door, leaving that door wide open behind you? File under Stupid Shit Scully has Done.

I don’t like dollhouses and all their tiny little furniture and things. They creep me the hell out.

I accidentally heard a Katy Perry song on the radio this morning. I’m not sure I have ever heard dumber lyrics in my life. “You’re gonna hear me roar. Louder, louder than a lion.” OK. Maybe a five year old wrote the song.

Can I just have it for my house? Actually, I’ll take a life size one, thanks.

Yoga ball chair is nice and bouncy for Weezer dancing.

Jesus. Almost every song is like a sedative. Where is all the danceable stuff on this iPhone that isn’t a phone?

No, really, I could fall asleep right here and slide right off this yoga ball chair. I’d probably smack my head on my desk and give myself a concussion too. Then where would you all be?

Now it’s just kind of a cross between Ally Sheedy and Glenn Close circa Fatal Attraction.

Damn you, Lifetouch. Why you gotta make it so hard on homeschoolers?

Oxford. What is wrong with you? Suddenly BLTs sound good for dinner. Bacon. bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon Also pulled pork yummmmmmm Ridiculous. You don’t give a damn about offending Jews, so stop using them as an excuse.

You know what? I’m not even a huge bacon fan.

That guy has the firmest hand shake I think I have ever experienced. How unusual in this environment.

Well. You know. I always give a little eyebrow. That’s just how it is.

What a week. Man.

Oh I know. I’ll have pork tamales for dinner. Yeah.

No. Nobody needs a pattern for a misandry hat. Misandry needs to stop.

I always forget what the Third Amendment is.

Well. They’re being very polite. Good on them.

I dunno. Putting an octopus on your head and taking a picture. I dunno. Some shit is just straight up weird, man.

Full spectrum my ass.

For a brief, beautiful moment, my work inbox only had 11 email messages in it. le sigh

It’s been five years since Citizens United already?! Jesus.

the shoulder thing that goes up

supermajority!

People still use Myspace??

I think I get why old people go to bed so early.

I do not think it is too late for another cup of tea. Probably.

Ooooh! I get to shoot things tomorrow!

I need more time. I need more time. I need more time.

And sleep.

GAH. Yet another reason to live where you can have your own well.

Your water is people, people!

Well that seems like a waste.

I’m not even gonna proofread.