sigh. so beautiful.

It’s possible that I smelled like meatloaf.

Oh my God. Go home, Sarah Palin. And take Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Jeb Bush with you.

Sometimes I feel pretty sensitive about my ptosis. Which is dumb, cos the people who matter to me don’t even see it.

I really wish I had known the YO trick on short rows a lot sooner. I like it sooooo much better than the wrap and turn.

Wow. I am REALLY bad at baby books.

Why was the sand wet?

I guess you’re not what I needed.

Oh Em Gee I’m so staticky!!!

“I know. That’s why you kick ashes. And ass!’

I got a rock.

Taking your culture shock out on the only conservative friend you have is a pretty good way to lose that friend. Keep it up, sister.

but i wanna be

“Excuse me, but is there anywhere here I can eat a salad?”

I’m so cooooooold.

“‘Fuck you cold!’ That’s what you’re going to say when you go outside today.”

I should have worn a nice thick sweater.

raise em on

If you’re going to add the word “dollars” after your numbers, you don’t need to use a dollar sign. In fact, please don’t.

Oh look. A donut. Hello, donut.

Because the sea weed.

questions questions questions

Oh yes, another sixty something white woman calling to ask about Anita Hill tickets.

“Burdened with information”? Really? Really??

Oh my God, just go to the store and get a Vernors.

I don’t know how you can work in a coffee shop and not know the difference between how espresso and regular coffee are brewed.

I’ve run out of little faces to respond to you with I think.

I hate it when bathrooms don’t have paper towel. Unless your hand dryer is a Dyson Blade, forget it.

I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time staying awake in this class.

hidden in the branches of the

I’m about to cultivate an espresso habit. Maybe that will work.

He said “awfully close,” and I thought he said “off the coast!”

Is there something narrower than college ruled?

If I have contacts in, I have to wear reading glasses. If I have my glasses on, I have to take them off, or look under the frames. My vision is ridiculous.

I really wish he would stop pacing. One, two, three left. One, two, three right. It’s incredibly distracting.

What’s that about.

i can’t go on

I wish that window shade wasn’t perpetually down. This room is so depressing.

I hate that there are no clocks in the classrooms.

Why do you smell like bologna?

Straight up.

I dunno. I’m having a harder than usual time with people lately.

No matter where I sit in this room, the guy with the big fat head always seems to find a way to sit ahead of me in exactly the right location to completely block the Power Point with his big fat head.

Did that guy just fart? Did that guy just fart??

I’m pretty sure you meant Kerry, not Kennedy.

I don’t even have words for how sick I am of Anita Hill right now.

Oh. Let me just go on the website and look that up for you, which you should already know, or at least know how to do, as a member of the faculty.

She doesn’t need them til Tuesday.

And just like that.

I used to work with this guy named Travis. Only my brain decided his name was Kevin. I could NOT call him Travis. I finally was able to call him KevinTravis. But my brain wasn’t having any part of what HE said his name was.

Which is completely and totally different from being a “special” snowflake. You don’t want to be a “special” snowflake.

How many more minutes til next Wednesday?

I just found a package of chocolate pop-tarts in my cupboard!

OK, maybe it’ll have to be a double espresso, because I’m not really feeling like this is going to do the trick. Dammit!

Huh.

Yeah, I’m really going to have to sit in a different spot from now on.

I kind of love the name of this song. I don’t know how I feel about the actual song. I guess it’s OK. Actually, I’ll likely never listen to it again.

Talking to them gives me an aneurysm.

I kind of actually hate short rows.

I was mixing up ROM and RAM. What. I’m not a computer guy.

Well. Once again. I did your job for you. Remind me, what the hell are we paying you for??

Scam a trip to Jamaica, get labeled a hero. Wow.

Free stuff makes people assholes.

I don’t think I could be a knitting pattern designer.

It’s a robot-bear-doctor.

“It was the storm that failed you guys.”

Well. It never occurred to me that you would have left them in the rocking chair.

“Can we shut up about weather for a while, especially weather that is totally in keeping with the seasons in which it’s taking place?” Seriously.

I think. I think it’s time to just stop now.

Mostly because the oven is still on.