Dammit, Jim.

rain rain rain rain rain rain rain Man, I’ve missed rain.

HA

You are: Batman “You are an exceptionally intelligent, driven and disciplined person with clear goals to make the world safer and better and the passion to make those goals a reality. You are observant, adaptable and focused with a deep sense of personal justice. Though introverted and perhaps socially awkward, you are deeply loyal to a few close friends and are selfless in your defense of people. Some consider your black and white views on morality a weakness, but it allows you to make clear cut decisions that protect you and the ones you love. While many consider you an extreme activist, they have a profound respect for your passion and want to share in your causes.” … Duh. Who else would I be??

inefficient and meddlesome … arrogant and arbitrary

I think I just got a cramp in my jazz hands …

I almost always hate the way these homes are decorated. Of course, if I could afford a million dollar home, I could afford to redecorate.

Seriously. Why does this town always smell so awful?

ZOMG! Yes please thank you!!!

Of course. It could suck. Like 24. I mean really. Did anyone buy that whole Sheila is a Punk Rocker bit with Chloe?

While I do still love David Duchovny, my love is a dim shadow of what it once was.

This whole office is one great big annoying black cloud of grrrrr.

Awww. I remember their video from 2012. I cried. Of course.

Hair hate is strong today. So strong.

Ha. I just remembered painting my nails with White Out.

I don’t care what you wear. Just look presentable. It’s not that complicated.

O.M.Effing.G. Enough already. ENOUGH.

Maybe that is not the best use of your time. I don’t know.

Shut up. I can eat this cookie before lunch if I want to.

Ha. That is not relaxing. I think it actually made me more tense.

Maybe you have narcolepsy. Or chronic fatigue. Or maybe I am not a doctor but I could totally play one on TV.

I probably need a second job.

deliberate and deliberate step by step process? I do not even understand my own notes sometimes. What the hell was I talking about?

This might be a good one to knit on the way to Florida.

I just don’t really care what Dumbledore’s sexual orientation is. Or was. Whatever. It’s wholly irrelevant to the story.

What’s with all the essential oil madness with people lately?

Right up there with the clothing labels. People are so easily offended today that it’s kind of tragic. You don’t like their advertising? Don’t purchase their products or services. Move on. Stop protesting and give your time to a charitable organization. Do something useful. Post a Facebook rant about the lame billboard and spend a few hours at your local food pantry or women’s shelter. No one cares if you can buy your own kitchen but you.

What? Why is the Office for Sustainability following me on Instagram?

You know what, lady? Being a mother is a 24 hour deal. But it’s not a job. It’s your life. It’s the life you chose to create with your husband. But here, you’ve managed to make this whole gig entirely about you. I hate to break it to you, but you’re only 1/5 of that equation. Just like I’m only 1/4 of mine. I work full time, I go to school. I am exhausted. I am chronically underslept, as my husband puts it. But it has never once been a choice between my husband and my children. You make things work as a whole, or you don’t. You? You’re kind of a selfish, horrible person, and when your youngest goes off to college, I think you’ll be pretty damn unbelievably lucky to look up and find your husband still standing there.

Huh. Maybe I’m a little wordy today.

You still have time to grab your Trigger Warning t shirt. So get on that.

“get your paparazzi ass off my goddamn estate”

Everybody’s a meteorologist when there’s a hurricane. Except me. I’m still just a smart ass. I’VE SAID THAT BEFORE!

“Another question is whether the Army will give Sergeant Bergdahl an honorable discharge if he is found guilty of desertion.” Um. In what universe is that a question, New York Times?

Seeds! Look at all these beautiful seeds!!

Aw! She sent me a thank you email for interviewing her! Bonus points! What a sweetie.

Seems like a fundraiser to restore the Gibson stack would have been the way to go. But what do I know about “hallowed ground”? Maybe they did try to raise money for it.

I want one of these shirts.

The Pretty Woman musical? Are you serious?

That woman is a lunatic. I do not want her representing me on this campus.

I did not realize the extent of “soccer mom” in her wardrobe. I am rather surprised.

I will never love Ska. Gah.

I want to get married again so I can have a country wedding.

Of course there wouldn’t be anyone in attendance …

I am so tired of winter. I need spring.

I wish I was a nicer person.

Why does everything have to be some brave act of defiance or some kind of calling your sisters to arms? Why can’t a bikini ever just be a bikini. You know what your message of “I’ve had 3 babies and I have a saggy belly button and I wear a bikini” says to me? You feel like you need to defend the fact that you’re wearing a bikini. Just wear the bikini. Just. Wear. The. Bikini.

See? I can’t just say “Oh that’s nice. Rock on, whichya bad self, lady.” I can’t just be nicer.

I just get annoyed.

I’m blaming this on my Constitutional Law exam tomorrow morning. It’s making me tense and cranky.

Exterminate.