Bless you, Perry the Platypus!

Seriously. I laughed so hard when Phineas said that I had tears. I don’t even know why.

I wish there was better video of it though.

No one ever talks about men who are victims of domestic violence. Because duh. How can men be abused. People don’t stop to take into consideration that much of the time men will not defend themselves, even when they easily could, out of fear of seriously injuring their female partner, being the one to be arrested for abuse because of the stereotype, or simply because they were raised to believe that hitting women, even in self defense, is something that real men never do.

Reading Twitter rants makes me tired. The unnatural pauses are awkward.

Hey Justin Bieber? Nick Rhodes called. He wants his hair back.

Beautiful!

I perpetually feel as if this chair is trying to tip me out of it.
Which has nothing to do with anything.

“Kinda like a Time Lord, years of acumen but youthful. Lucky you.”

Bernie Sanders is like my political Jimmy Buffet. shudder

Much love and happiness to Neil and Amanda. You know my feelings for AFP are so mixed, but a new life in this world is always something to celebrate.

It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall! It’s fall!

Fall is my very favorite.

For the record, I still totally want these boots.

I love you, pizza.

Justifiance!

HA!

I just really need to go here before I die, OK?

I have never felt so old as when I was sitting in class listening to my classmates discuss politics and art and they started naming all these contemporary musical artists I had never heard of.

I should start a new series: This week on Overheard in the Classroom! Yes, that’s brilliant.

Every

I was interrupted and I  have no idea what I was about to say.

Old Dog! Mentor! Drinking! Yay!

I’d really like that Police song to get out of my head now, thanks.

Wow. A Facebook page by an “artist” who hasn’t posted anything to that Facebook page in actual years is being suggested to me. Her work does not appeal to me in any way.

Seriously. You sound like a pig rooting around, grunting away. Just stop. Stop making that noise. It’s so unbelievably irritating I want to scream.

I want the tiny tiny cupcakes!

Can we have tiny tiny dinosaurs to go with them?

That was deeply unsatisfying.

Yep. I am definitely sick. Thanks so much, Stormageddon.

I hate everything when I’m sick. Probably people should give me a wide berth today.

I can’t remember if I took any Tylenol or not. I remember thinking I should take some Tylenol …

Is she serious? My first thought was “she’s not going to have very many white friends after that.” But then I noticed she’s in Portland and thought “oh no, she’ll probably get more white friends for this utter bullshit.”

That is seriously one of the more absolutely ridiculous and asinine things I have ever seen.

Ohhh! I like several of these. And I very much don’t like several of them.

I think it’s incredibly disheartening when I make the effort of smiling at you in a friendly manner and you just stare at me. I am misanthropic because just about everything about people encourages misanthropy.

I think I just broke Facebook.

We have a piper doon!

That’s a big waffle.

When you feel yucky, the yoga ball chair is not the chair for you.

I’m a little dizzy.

This is very quickly becoming uninteresting.

Lana Del Rey is my spirit animal or something.

I did not even know this word existed: Eleutherophobic.

I related to this a great deal.

Somewhat in the same vein. I really want to read that so I’m leaving it here but I have no attention span right now whatsoever.

No one cares. Stop talking.

prossibly

Truth.

Sometimes I just need to look at Aaron Eckhart for a minute and then I’m OK again.

“The tyrant’s first thought was always for himself.”

I would very much like a nice cup of tea, but it’s too stuffy in here. I think I might need to turn the air conditioning on for a minute.

That is crazy talk.

Bye bye baby baby bye bye.