wm4794I don’t have a photo for you this week so I pulled an old favorite self portrait from the Random Confederacy series.

Wow, that was such a great series. I hadn’t looked at those in quite a while. We did good, the Redhead and I.

You know what? Absolutely everything is making me tired right now. I am tired of all the things.

I have to admit, this made me feel better about my life. I work full time, I go to school halftime, I have two kids and a husband, I have to study, I travel around 80 minutes per day. Yeah, my house is less than magazine worthy. If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go cry and also collapse from exhaustion now.

Someone asked me the other day, “Why are you sleep deprived.” And that’s pretty much why I just cannot with the people.

I really like this lady. She gets bonus points for being a Michigander. She’s just. I don’t know. I like her. Check out her blog. Her Instagram is great too.

How did I miss all that cool stuff when I was in Baltimore?

HA!

Not buying those booties. Not doing it. I don’t care how cute they are. Saving money. Gah. I need an inheritance.

Gah. All the way through Chuck for the second time and depressed all over again that it’s gone.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

anonymous potato

Oops. OOPS. Oh oops. Saying oops makes absolutely everything completely OK. Oops.

The phrase “paranoia will destroy ya” is on loop in my skull at the moment but my brain has changed paranoia to perestroika. Yeah, I don’t even know.

What? This tiny bag of ranch flavored Doritos isn’t going to eat itself.

Yeah, you have to throw that whole Strengths Finder deal in with this nonsense too. I’ve complained about the ridiculousness of Strengths Finder before. Yet many departments on this campus use it. They require that you put your 4 or 5 or whatever it is strengths in your email signature. There is a company in Texas – Rackspace – that appears to be entirely built around this concept. They put your strengths on your name tags, you’re assigned to teams based on them, they have classes and counseling for them. It’s like a freaky cult.

This made me think of my friend Dock, and also want to shred stuff. All the things. Just throw all the things in the shredder. Right now.

Wearing contacts for the first time in two weeks. It’s remarkable how much I can’t see.

I’m trying to work on this paper, but I just realized I’ve been sitting here, staring at this Beanie Baby rooster, for the last five minutes.

What the hell is it with college kids? Their phones are glued to their hands but do you think they’ll respond to a damn email?

Not apologizing. Just acknowledging.

That does not sound delicious.

PROOFREAD    P R O O F R E A D   PROOFREAD

I need a t shirt that says “Save my sanity – P R O O F R E A D.”

I was not really impressed with Lady Gaga’s tribute. Sorry.

I feel like I stepped off the path of enlightenment and into some serious negativity.

Sorry. Writing a paper on Buddhist death practices. I’ll be fine. Really.

Why can’t a movie just be a movie? Why do you have to analyze it do death?

How long have you worked here? Right. So how is it that you think you can tell me how to do my job??

Oh wait. Bad karma again. Shrug it off. Breathe. Move on. Move on dot org!

The Marxist was really nice to me but her office smelled weird and now my pants smell like her office.

I had no idea the FCC did not regulate basic cable. I wonder why it took them so long to drop an F bomb.

But I don’t want to watch your video. Why can’t I just read what you’re trying to say?

Ha! Brilliant!

This sums up the life of every con I know:
My student staff to me: “I don’t like conservatives.”
Me: “You don’t seem to have a problem with me.”
Student, caught totally off guard: “Well. Uh. You’re OK. [pause] I don’t like conservatives who have to tell me their opinion all the time.”
Me, smiling: “Conservatives feel the same way about liberals.”

I for real just forgot my zip code and started writing down the zip code of my hometown. I haven’t lived there in more than twenty years.

I’m sorry, but I think it’s lame that Obama plans to skip Scalia’s funeral. That’s just disrespectful.

Guys. Kanye is kicking my ass. Kanye. Come on. Surely I’m a better human than Kanye? Surely? The comments on that Kanye fundraiser are pretty funny though.

Gah. Now I have to wash these pants. They’re sooooo stinky. It’s bizarre. And icky.

The people in this office sure do a lot of standing around and talking.

Think about the cockroaches for just a minute.

Maybe I’ll just go get certified as a welder after I graduate. I’m bound to make more money as a welder than anything else I might do. Plus I already know the basics.

all i ever longed for

I’m just babbling.

I’m only ever –

So wait. Are there going to be more seasons of New X Files after this??

OK my hair is genuinely gross right now.

I feel oddly calm and prepared for this exam. IT’S A TRAP!

Well. I think that was a pretty good twelfth birthday haul.

Twelfth is such a weird word. Very Tolkien-esque.