So … just don’t come here then.

Although I agree that boiling water in the microwave is something only heathens do.

And people who drink tea made from water boiled in the microwave aren’t drinking tea. They’re drinking insipid, hot, stained water. And I don’t want to know those people.

I always forget that I’m on that committee because I’m an alternate. Also I should quit.

It’s a sad world where people aren’t allowed honest mistakes. No. Every “wrong” thing you do is clearly driven by some deep seated bigoted or racist or phobic ulterior motive designed to victimize someone else. Because HEAVENS FORFEND anyone ever just make a simple, unintentional, honest error.

Harry, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just. Let it happen.

Huh.

Those crocheted yarmulkes look like boobs. I’m sorry.

Facebook wants me to celebrate my upcoming birthday with friends by creating an event. What should I call it? The “jentober celebrates another birthday by maybe having an extra Diet Dr. Pepper and refusing to do dishes” party? My friends all live too far away.

I typed fart instead of far. So there’s that.

Stop fictionalizing your life in order to garner sympathy.

I always feel like I’m trying too hard.

I just want to be part of the knitting community! That’s all I want!

But I always feel like I’m trying too hard.

Um. That globe is totally not in Haenicke Hall. It’s in Knauss.

This sweater is so perfectly cozy and warm it already needs to be de-pilled. And I just got it. It’s the perfect grandpa sweater. Perfect.

I can’t help it that I’m addicted to t-shirts. Isn’t that better than being addicted to crack or heroin or whisky or something?

Ha. True.

I am a goat girl.

You might be slightly senile, and you maybe should not be in the position that you are in.

Wow. And also that is a really short mix. But wow. Interesting choices.

I do love that Chris Isaak song though.

No one ever calls me. Except the NRA. The NRA calls me all the time.

Wow. That’s the most wrong internet quiz I’ve ever taken. But it is kind of hilarious that I got “Blane.”

Also why is that character’s name spelled Blane? It’s Blaine. WTH John Hughes?

I just realized the house that the test pilot lives in in episode 2 of the X Files is the house that Frank Black moves his family to in Millennium.

Wait. Now it feels like I’ve realized that before.

OK, but I don’t actually speak French. We’ve been over this.

I wasn’t cranky. But then people started being people. And then I was cranky.

If I call you, and you answer, don’t tell me you’re not open yet and to call back in seven minutes. Just don’t answer the fucking phone in the first place.

I feel like you need to be reminded that I am not, in fact, your secretary.

Hilarious. I never did care for Cracker Barrel.

I still haven’t found a kitchen witch.

Skip Arms has the best hair. Look at it. It’s fucking magnificent.

“Who would kill someone for ten dollars?”
“Dave.”

It’s prospective student. Not perspective student. You work at a university. How is this hard for you?

I’m having a hard time wanting to bother continuing posting to Flickr with this project.

Why is it dwarfs and not dwarves?

I really hate it when people abbreviate please to pls.

You all have beaten this horse so dead it’s nothing but a crimson stain on the floor. Move. On.

Not zee Russians.

Tell me again why I stay in higher education??

They trap you with the benefits.

I don’t appreciate being forced to voice gratitude.

I got a bad batch of Slim Jims. Curses!

No, you can’t have a refund.

Sometimes the clock in my car is correct. Sometimes it’s an hour behind. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

Institutionalized bullying.

So weird seeing such a young Mark Sheppard in this X-Files.

Wow. Just wow.

Wait. Joss Whedon is directing Batgirl??

OK. MPA it is.