I. Am. Miserable.

I would very much like to go see Shooter Jennings in June.

This is some pretty great feedback.

Fssssshhh.

OFFS. I’ll cover it.

It’s that feeling of constantly having to sneeze that kills you.

Yeah, rapidly coming to loathe the phrase “flip the script.”

Holy hell it’s busy today.

Sometimes the Can Do Girls can’t!

I feel like I’m speaking a totally different language than everyone else today.

I keep accidentally setting my phone to silent. Which I suppose is OK for phone calls, because the only people who call me are spammers and the NRA. But I also miss incoming messages that way. Sorry. But you probably aren’t messaging me anyway.

Damn, I wish I was asleep.

Actually, I’m so zoned out right now, I might as well just be asleep.

AT LEAST MY BRAIN IS ASLEEP

Allyship??? That’s not even a word!!

I have not even been paying attention.

Oops. We should visit the library more often.

I thought that said Lovercraft.

Acceptation??

So glad I decided to read through this one more time.

Is that a fucking fruit fly? GODDAMMIT!

I can just order the router.

Great. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

Lady, there is not even a tornado watch. Calm the hell down.

I had a song in mind but I’ve forgotten that too.

Look. I have the mouth of a longshoreman who moonlights as a trucker. But there’s a time and place.

Honestly, if anyone makes an attempt on Trump’s life, it’s likely to be that unhinged moron Shia LaBoeuf.

What is this purple Starbucks weirdness everyone is posting pictures of?

Also it looks like it’s liquid cotton candy, and therefore disgusting.

Stormageddon does not like the bus.

Wow. I. OK.

rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain

Well yeah. Lauren Hutton is gorgeous.

Ok, thanks, but I don’t actually care about Bill O’Reilly.

silver sulfasomething

Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t really want to pay you to send me a postcard.

Really kind of hating Diane Fry. WTH. Get over your damage, chiquita. Cooper’s a good guy.

Damn. That’s a hell of a Riot Fest lineup.

Why is food always so problematic?

The hell with it. I’m posting today. Surprise!

I could have sworn we had some zinc.

I don’t care what anyone thinks, I like the Home soundtrack.

Well, that was lame.

At least I won’t

Holy shit. What a weird coincidence.