It’s like he’s got some kind of strange cylindrical skull. It’s creepy.

I dunno. Is anything really “groundbreaking” any more?

Colin Firth, still delicious.

Yak. I am intrigued.

Except no. Not really.

I really just feel like crying right now.

Maybe I need a damn hell hiatus.

I guess I am just not invested enough to be willing to sign on to that with you.

Probably. Maybe.

I think I need a new neurologist.

Why does everything you say sound like a question?

Razor clawed gremlins screeching at the top of their lungs, throwing themselves against the inside of my skull, desperate to escape the increasing pressure that will surely explode both their brains and mine.

Kinda like that.

I don’t know. I want to love the American Gods series. I’m just not sure that I can.

“He has engaged us in subterfuge and red herring, a fish I don’t particularly care for.”

This is kind of a little bit hilarious.

Seems like raining nectar would be sticky.

Where did Donna’s sisters go?

Is that today? That’s today. SIGH.

Why are you always making my life more difficult. It’s like it’s your raison d’etre or something. You need a better raison d’etre.

Is that a euphemism?? I mean you get how that’s kind of weird, right?

I need a snack.

Prodigy? You mean progeny?

syllabi.

It’s like Slytherin. Or something.

Re-watching the original series has made me love it for completely different reasons than when it originally aired.

I don’t really understand Twitter anymore. At all.

OK, you’re kind of going overboard with this and I really need you to dial it back about eleventy right now.

I’ve been trying to read this article ALL DAY.

I really need some caffeine right now.

I don’t see any reason to buy sulfite free wine. Scotch and I get along just fine.

You’re so lucky!

Respond to my text, dad. You’re retired, you have time. (p.s. I love you.)

Really, you’re cutting into my knitting time at this point.

It might be a bit warm for that.

Ooooh, only two more days til Staycation 2.0! And I don’t even have to spend it stripping wallpaper!! Or in my car!!

Well of course you don’t understand the question. It’s full of typos.

Oh go on then.

I think mine might be too.

I don’t believe that I probably wouldn’t let it go.

Me too! (That’s not the theme.)

Sweaters cover a multitude of sins.

It’s months away. I don’t think you need to panic yet.

So you know where I’ll be.

But they’re ickle chickens!

Oh. Right. Grad school application. Shit. Personal statement. “Dear faculty, I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life, so I thought I’d try your program out for a while.

So much for developing a coffee habit.