I feel like crap.

The only thing they seem to be doing to these roads is laying down layer upon layer of gravel. It’s frigging annoying.

Does anyone else hate Tammy?

Seriously. When did SPAM get so weird?

I don’t know how I did not know this beautiful thing existed, but clearly I need a membership.

How is it that I can’t keep an air plant alive? How is that even possible?

At least my children are still breathing.

I know this makes me some kind of heretic or something, but I really just don’t think I like Felicia Day.

It’s Monday right now. Still feeling craptastic. How is it even possible for a human being to be this tired?

Yeah, still can’t stand Wil Wheaton either. He seriously creeps me out. Also, how is it that he can look that thoroughly smug 24 hours a day? It’s like he had his face surgically altered to reflect his belief that he is inherently superior to the rest of mankind.

Also that beard is awful.

I may not live through CPR recertification this week.

I’m gonna have that damn Stones song stuck in my head for the rest of my life now.

Pardon me, but I believe that is my lung.

The room with all the leaves.

Wow. That is not what I expected to see. Horrifyingly hilarious.

This Diet Pepsi is deeply disappointing my taste buds right now.

Now it’s Tuesday. It’s like Random Wednesday – Extended Dance Mix or something.

I, too, would love to walk my children out to our garden each morning and watch with my quiet perfect mom joy as they choose their own vegetables for their healthy organic breakfast smoothie, Genevieve Padalecki, except that the only people who live that ridiculous reality are ridiculously rich famous moms (and I bet half of you are lying). The rest of us are lucky if we can get them to eat a vegetable once a year.

But maybe that’s just me.

Lifestyle blogs kill me. Your lifestyle would drive me batty.

Fit all columns on one page.

You are far too preachy for me, thanks.

No, I don’t need something, thank you.

I’m 100% sure that that will not solve the problem. But that’s none of my business.

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

Go ahead, pad your numbers. I care not a whit!

Sorry, I am exempt from your voluntelling me to help with this.

And now it’s Wednesday again. Back where we started. Well.

And now I have four bloody hours of CPR/AED re-certification. How the hell does it take four hours to RE-certify??

I seriously don’t remember my original certification even taking that long.

…

Wow, that really took four whole hours. On the plus, it did not seem to drag. And now I can totally save your life. Or your kid’s life. Or your baby’s life. Probably.

I’ve sent you that list at least once already. Come on now.

“Cisgendered .. It’s a way of marginalizing a normal person.”

For as many days as this has stretched out, there is not that much here.

Where is my sammich?

I love the theme music to Poldark. I love any theme music that is primarily violin. Millennium. Angel. It’s all so poignant and melancholy and a little dark but just an eensy bit hopeful.

Man I miss Millennium.

And also Angel.

Only have to

Written in my own heart’s blood with a chainsaw.

Hang on, Frances!

Dammit!

I bloody knew as soon as he started turning his life around that they were going to kill him off.

They’ve just had the exact, almost verbatim conversation, 5 times in the last 10 minutes. I’m not even kidding.

If I was a famous lady, I’d have Hogan McLaughlin design all my red carpet rags. Swoon.

I need a Fringe Porter Bin. Army Green.

Gah. I need two extra days off for this crap.

I had started reading this woman’s article quite a while back, got distracted, never finished, and lost it. It suddenly popped up again, so I’m sharing.

OK, I’m hanging it up.

FOREVER.

just kidding.