I’m reasonably certain custodial is going to lock me in the office again.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA

OK, I’m in.

I read that as “Locally purchase. Even dry.” That is not what it said.

This guy is a loon. And clearly not capable of complex or nuanced thought. Or any kind of logic.

I still don’t get that one.

What the hell, bus?

OMG Stop saying “fair enough” to everything. You literally just used it 3 times in under a minute. Stop the insanity.

You are a grown ass man. Stop saying “for funsies.”

What a ridiculously busy morning. Sheesh.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy are people so loud?

And now we wait.

Nice try, dude. But I’m not going to do it for you.

Just so you know, I am not actually your personal secretary, and I cannot actually make your students read their emails OR the course catalog.

It’s on page two.

It is, indeed, a bold move.

Photo credit: God.

I think this scanner thing is dying on me. Because why not?

Wait. Is she wearing mascara? She’s like 10!

ARGH. Is it going to bloody rain or not?

Is that a no?

the ghost in you she cuts you up in the silence of your room

The little I saw of that Caitlin Jenner interview with Norm Macdonald was really interesting.

I would run out of glitter really fast.

STOP SLEEPING ON THE BUS.

I’m actually looking forward to an entire day of brain probing Friday. Because it is not here.

Wh. H. How. How is that even possible??

Do you want all these coupons?

Well that’s a ridiculous argument.

Why do I have to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life? Why is that even a thing?

I was going to share a really funny thing with you, but the link only seems to work on my phone. So I won’t.

Yes, pizza. Duh.

No mail. Sadness.

Why are you so bossy? It makes me not want to help you.

want to

I can’t get this stupid app to take this stupid coupon code. Stupid.

I wonder if she’s ever going to

No more mimosas for you, missy.

Why do I have to tell the QuickTime updater thingie to close 47 times before it actually does?

where is my mind. where. is.