It’s not terribly compelling, actually.

The Body Farm is so cool.

I’m starting to sound like a fucking Dear Abby column in these discussion posts.

I do like the title Agony Aunt though. I’d be good at that job. Plus the word agony.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

That is what you get for stinking up the office with your popcorn.

They won’t hire me.

No one ever wants to hire me.

I just need to check in on people sometimes. Make sure they’re all good.

I’m a misanthrope who likes very specific people.

Fine. I don’t want to work there anyway.

I 100% forgot what I was doing.

It’s nice that you can come in at 7 forty something. Take an hour lunch. Then leave at 4. That seems fair.

Look, I think Jordan Peterson makes a lot of sense, but some of you are bordering on a kind of cult mentality with all of this and it’s a little weird and a little creepy.

This new drug is not working. Yet.

This right here is why I love the internet. And also hipsters are just awful.

I should not be able to hear you eating right now. It should not be physically possible.

I think I need to just wear my glasses for a few days.

“Identity cannot be a substitute for or a supplement to reason and morality.This woman has no business holding office in this country. She is despicable. And the Dems who refuse to censure her in any way are just as despicable.

Shut. Up.

Yes, they do. They literally do it all the time.

This is not my favorite season of Psych.

To be honest, I’ve always had a fair amount of sympathy for Lucifer. I’m probably going to hell.

I think that was a bit of a reach. Your reasoning didn’t even make sense.

I don’t love My Favorite Murder as much as everyone else. In fact, it would be infinitely more enjoyable without Georgia Hardstark, who is profoundly annoying. Also the politics. Jesus bloody God, can you just stop with your stupid progressive politics. They are wholly irrelevant to murder.

I maintain that you cannot count Ed Gein as a serial killer.

Are we positive Zachary Levi isn’t gay?

This is not my favorite episode of Supernatural.

I don’t like the bunker full of people. It’s weird.

Ho.Lee.Shit.

And then there are the people who just suddenly, inexplicably, stop speaking to me.

I love you, Jim Butcher. But you’ll always be a bigger nerd than me. And probably I curse too much for you.

If you’re not reading Quillette, you should be.

People always follow “It goes without saying,” with the thing that allegedly goes without saying. I find this paradox entertaining and terrifically odd.

I do not know how it is possible, but I never get tired of hearing the Psych theme song. Never.

I’m convinced the original post was a troll, but this is still hilarious.

I just learned that Brie Larson (larsen?) won an Oscar for Room, and I’m struggling to understand why.

I started watching Room, fast forwarded through the majority of it, and watched the end, and felt like every minute I spent with it was a waste of time because it was so spectacularly uninteresting.

Brie Larsuhn is spectacularly uninteresting.

Look. I can’t help it if I love bagpipe music.

I also can’t help it if I don’t understand people who complain about “only” getting 5 hours of sleep. 5 hours of sleep is basically my average. Suck it up, buttercup.

No, I’m not interested in Knitting The Card Game.

Some very strange occurrences. Very strange.

Oy. That was a little too Conservative Preachy Man for me this early in the morning.

I suddenly could not remember the Roman numeral for 9. So odd.

I’ll eat the quinoa, but it kind of weirds me out.

Hey internet? I can guarantee you I am not a Christian.

Facebook keeps notifying me that I have a new message after I’ve sent a message and it’s really fucking annoying.

What! I didn’t know Tim Burton directed Dumbo. Clearly now I have to see it.

How did I end up on the Daily Mail? What a horrible publication.

That is appalling.

Please. I wish I made that much money.

Whelp. There’s another job I didn’t get.

Yeah, my name isn’t Elizabeth.

No, but come on. They just give out degrees like Pez or something at her alma mater, right? How is she an economist? Honestly, if breathing weren’t an involuntary reflex, she would have died years ago. This woman is just about as dumb an individual as I have ever seen in my life.

It feels like the inside of my skin is itchy. That usually means I’m getting sick. And also it’s one of the most awful sensations you can imagine.

It’s because none of them know what they’re doing.

WHY IS YARN SO SPENDY?

I know why, I just wish it weren’t.

Of course banning unvaccinated children is a violation of their Constitutional rights. Equal protection under the law. Of course not vaccinating your children is lunacy, but it’s still your right not to do so. You can’t force Americans to vaccinate. Think about what you’re demanding. Once you allow forced vaccinations, you open the door to forced sterilizations, among so many other horrific things. Anti-vaxxers are dangerous morons, but they’re allowed to be dangerous morons. And also assholes.

My life is a constant irritating fucking struggle of just trying to physically see clearly.

Students leave an astonishing number of water bottles behind.

God I hate protest chanting.

I’ve been called a cracker bitch more times than I can count, but I don’t make it the defining experience of my life. Jesus.

This is the future you’ll get with AOC and people like her. STOP deluding yourselves into thinking this time it will be different. It’s never different. It’s never good. It is always evil.

I’ve served on the University Common Read Committee for six years, and every single year has been a struggle. I think the concept of a common read is fantastic. I think the motivation behind a common read needs to be very closely scrutinized. And I’ll say this, the committee was comprised almost entirely of professors, so I think that’s where this piece and NAS get it wrong. It’s not just the bureaucrats.

Of course, every member of the committee quit this year. I’m the last woman standing and no authority to proceed.

“Reach out to students who do not atomically qualify to have them apply. … How can we reach students who do not atomically qualify.”

Seriously, I love these sheep so much. I want some. I have plenty of room!

Look. the entire first half of this story, you’re claiming these murders were committed with a shotgun. Now all of a sudden it’s a rifle. They’re not interchangeable. Come on.

This is so fantastic.

I love how she looks at this through the scope of our language.

Man. I’m hanging this up.

Share