here’s an old one that pretty much sums up my frame of mind right now.

Yeaaaahhhh I’ll pass thanks.

I just love it when people treat you like a faceless entity because you happen to be covering the reception desk.

See? Stop guilting me.

I’m sorry, I’ll come back.

Soooooo. Until that magical fairy land happens, we should just allow ourselves to be utterly defenseless? Is that what I’m supposed to take away from this? JAYsus.

Yeah, no. I kind of feel judged right now. It’s true.

Hmm. Maybe that scent is only available at Christmas.

Well that’s just wonky.

I don’t know if you know this, but white people tan. Or if you’re me, burn.

Doesn’t that feel better than arguing about politics?

I should have photographed the event, I suppose. I’m not sure anyone noticed I was there.

I have no idea where I’m supposed to park for this thing.

I love this story.

I just read an interview with Brad Pitt in the NYT and I really think he should come to one of our Unthinking Mortality workshops.

I was not a Brad Pitt fan back in the day. I do believe he has gotten much better with age.

Hey Whitmer


Sometimes I am thoroughly convinced that I am the last remaining pragmatist on this planet.

File under Shit That Only Works In Theory.

Yeah, Thanos wanted to minimize suffering and look how well that went down.

I can never get those predictive text things to work.

I should have become a locksmith, apparently.

Great. Another new person using super strong scented lotion that assaults the brain like an ice pick of horrible deathy doom.

What if you’re a perfect storm of both types of people? What then, huh?

Note: “liking” my email = still not a valid response to my email.

I really don’t like it when people say “that being said” in a lengthy email. First of all, just say “that said.” Secondly, just cut to the chase already.

No, but why are you doing this to me?

The worst thing you can do to citizens of a democratic nation is to silence them. And the easiest way to silence a woman or a man is to threaten his or her livelihood. Let’s not accept the McCarthyism of secret condemnation. Instead let’s delve a little deeper, limiting the power that can be exerted over our citizens, their attempts to express their hearts and horrors, and their desire to speak their truths. Only this can open the dialogue of change.”

I had every intention of posting this on time, but I somehow completely forgot it was Wednesday.

Enough with the humidity. Come on.

I’m just going to go ahead and admit that I have no idea who Daniel Johnston was.

I really need a Biggby.

Oh. So I haven’t missed anything.

Please. Just.                    JESUS.


I have had a constant stream of students in my office today. Just because they love me and want my advice. It’s amazing.

And I haven’t gotten a goddamn thing done.



Look. I only signed up for all the subcommittees because it was a way to get out of the toxic hell that was the office. I just don’t need that any more.

Sing it with me. Top of your lungs. Here we go.