I am getting very comfortable with employing the “Yeah, sure, but no, because that is not what I do.” That is a you job, sir. I suggest you do it yourself and get back to me when it’s done.

My notebook is falling apart. It’s too soon! I still have too many pages left to start a new one! Curses.

Jaysus more AI shit. That’s all we talk about anymore.

Who has leftover bread?

I keep reading that as “optional.” It says optimal.

Who eats fries with pizza?

Well. It certainly appears as if I am in a mood today. Super.

I’ve never been so sick of an election cycle in my life.

Well that was uncomfortable.

I can’t believe October is almost over. That makes me sad.

I don’t know. I just think the Hemlock Society wishing me well gives off a certain unintended irony.

These notifications are useless to me.

Ohhhh he’s the new faculty guy. I can’t believe it took me this many hours to parse that out. In my defense it has been a very busy day.

The backlash will be loud and bigly.

Ah yes. The “dominant unilinear secularization theory.” Of course.

Big Data

But I haven’t had time to read your book, madame.

Bleah. Do not vomit.

I can’t believe that didn’t bruise. It sure as hell hurt.

A sudden influx of forms. Duck and cover!

I really just can’t handle this.

I’m too old for Snap Chat, friend.

It’s so jerky.

Why did I did this?

HOLY ok

All of the tired face emojis.

I would go see Afghan Whigs every month if I could. I love you, Greg Dulli.

So many notes. So many notes. So many notes.

I’ve never heard Nazism pronounced that way before.

What hurts more. Take stock. Arm or head. WHO CAN TELL.

I have GOT to get that abstract submitted. I am running out of time, man!

Ahhhh rain.

It’s over already? Sadness.

I feel like Justine Bateman and I could be besties, but also that I’d be a little intimidated by her all the time.

But. But I just GOT here!

Sigh.

It occurs to me that I’m likely the only one taking this this seriously.

The question, then, is why do I bother.

Also there is the question of what’s up with the spacing on this thing?

Does it always look like this? Weird how we only just suddenly notice things sometimes.

I need more Diet Mtn. Dew for this.

I really enjoyed this chapter, but that does not mean I want to sit in class today. Or ever again.

Yay. So excited that it’s insomnia time again. Cool. Cool cool cool.

Is this

I keep thinking this is break week. This is not break week.

It’s so weirdly cold in here.

I can’t listen to this, it’s too scripted.

I hate the way I look lately.

I should submit an abstract. They’ll reject it and then I can say well, at least I attempted it.

Idea farming.

I don’t even know what to do with this.

Just send it to me. Why won’t you just send it to me. It’s not freaking proprietary. What is your damage.

I don’t know what this mood is called, but it’s the kind that will probably get me fired.

unsubscribe. unsubscribe. unsubscribe.

This is a whole lot of circular language to say that a thing is what it is because it is what it is. Which is effing stupid.

Huh. I thought that was last week. I was mistaken.

How long do we think I can get away with ignoring this thing?

I don’t understand people who can drink room temperature water.

That makes no grammatical sense whatsoever and I refuse to do it.

Oh that’s fun.

Who is yelling FFS?

I should buy an apple pie. My fat belly does not need an apple pie. I so love apple pie.

Is it natural or chemically induced? Does it matter? It sucks either way.

Am I taking too many notes or not enough notes?

The sleepier I am, the more the outside thoughts distract.

I wonder if I could pull that look off with my hair. Probably not.

Is it time to run away yet?

Four score and seven years ago …

I’m a fucking ghost over here.

I need to punch the holes.

100 feet off.

towels. wallpaper. paint. sad.

I should just stop trying to straighten my hair at all at this point.

I think I’m not feeling that particular bat sweater this year. It’s not the best color, that’s for sure.

Where are my pumpkin shoes?

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

ROTTEN BANANA BACKPACK

Look. I can’t help it if I dig the

Where is that list?

I found my robot tape!

And so I fake like

“dry dwellers of eternity”

That sucked. That super sucked.

Today is stupid.

This whole week is stupid.

Maybe you should go do your actual job, ma’am.

Well. That’s not really what I was expecting.

Man I don’t know.

I applied. It was a failure. What a waste of time that was. I even had endorsements.

pg. 21

Instamatic Instagram

There is definitely something in my eye.

I should have been a plumber.

I can’t get a single bleeping return call.

AI is going to be the thing that kills me.

I was wrong. This monthly meeting will be the thing that actually kills me.

Dread. Absolute and utter dread.

I would love it so much if people would stop calling everything a fucking journey.

Marcommandant.

time place and manner

Everything hurts.

What time is it?

Why does chewing gum have to be so loud in my own head?

The music just randomly stopped.

Something fell upstairs.

Pages are falling out of my book.

Just fucking say genesis, dude.

Jesus that girl is loud.

I wish the rain would rain already.

Pizza.

All those arrows and none of them point to anything.

Is it misty? I want rain rain.

Left handed spookiness.

That’s just atrocious. I can’t even be embarrassed for you. You are on your own with that mess.

I find it hard to believe you did not already own a soldering iron.

Mysterious draft. If that sentence shows up in another post, it’s because this draft got lost right after I started it.

Stop pretending that you don’t understand the opposition to AI.

Cognitive offloading.

I wish I had some knitting with me.

I just think you’re being too cavalier about it.

I hate this fucking laptop so much.

I can’t remember the last time I ate breakfast this early. I’m surprised I’m even hungry enough to eat.

This apple is on its very last leg.

I started writing in the wrong notebook.

Speaking of death and dying.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a virtual meeting that didn’t have technical issues.

Stupid insurance. I desperately miss my progressive lenses.

Musculoskeleeeeetal.

Outbreaks, epidemics, pandemics. Oh my.

Waterloo teeth!

The US is nothing if not respectful of the dead felled by war.

Why aren’t any of these speakers turning on their cameras? It’s like I’m stuck in a conference call with the periodic visual aids of a PPT.

As soon as I wrote that, a new speaker came on, no PPT, camera on. She’s just reading her paper.

I need to get my thanatology certification. I just don’t want to spend the money on the course/exam.

She lost me a genocide. Oh she invoked Judith Butler. Bye, girl! Girl, bye.

Urgent issue? I disagree.

The 5 a.m. start was a lot easier at home than when I was up north.

I thought the 5 a.m. start was painful, but I have decided I like it. I have the whole day open when it ends at 10.

Maybe I should think about presenting something next year.

Oh this other speaker turns her camera on when she speaks.

Moral vs legal conceptions of “mine.”

But animals, no matter how much we love them, are not children.

Ope intersectionality. She’s hit a progressive trifecta. JMJ.

I thought that said, “I appreciate that my loved ones want to know how I’m farting.” It did not.

I don’t know, but there is a lot of beeping.

Fuck, I give up.

I thought I fixed this notification shit.

That is my preferred pen, sir.

The way the British pronounce skeletal makes it sound like some kind of weird insect, and it makes me laugh.

That one time I won an award and got to go to Brooklyn to accept it.

I do important stuff. It’s just not super flashy.

I wonder why I didn’t get an interview for that job. I am more than qualified.

Oooh I want that station wagon.

“Experiential learning experiences” Bro.

This feels like a good time to go to lunch. And drink heavily.

Shut up, you know I’m not gonna.

Dear, Beacon Foundation. Please stop asking me for money. I do not have any.

I wish it were 1983. I’d even be happy if it were the 90s. I wish I’d never taken this job.

This Moleskine is trashed. I ought to tear out the important bits and throw the rest on the fire. But I cannot.

I really need to dust. Damn.

A cosmic ennui.

“They didn’t sign up to be on a ship in the middle of the ocean.” Ma’am. They joined the Navy. That is quite literally what they signed up for.

Why do people continue to insist on ice-breaker type activities? Are they actual sadists?

I wish I understood whatever it is about me that makes it so no one effing listens to me when I tell them things.

“The hijackings led to passenger jet crashes.” How bout no.

This is why I should not have a second cup of coffee.

… come a little closer baby, I only wanna try and be your

I cannot take this heat and humidity. This is not Florida. Why is the end of summer always like this. It’s like it’s trying get revenge or something.

Need food.

A book? For me?

I’m not radicalized, you are.

Horrible, horrible pain!

I just want to be able to straighten my hair again.

I’m probably not smart enough for this shit.

But why do you have to be so loud though?

I’m pretty sure at least half my problems would be solved if I did not have to work on a computer all day.

Probably.

Can I just not be present for this?

I think I probably need a snack.

I love so much starting the day with massive anxiety.

If you cannot be bothered to correctly spell what is arguably one of the easiest names in the universe to spell correctly, you are being purposely disrespectful.

But maybe that’s just me.

I am simply not getting a damn thing done. And this is very very bad.

I beg your finest pardon?

Why is it dark in here?

Man I miss progressive lenses. This single vision shit is the worst.

Oh cool. It’s time for the school to start sending out shit full of typos and grammatical errors. Awesome.

Every single person who read that dissertation and passed it ought to be run out of academia on a rail. What an embarrassment.

Oops. Wrong draft.

This is the single largest shit show I have ever in my entire adult life been subjected to.

Act as if.

Fake it til you make it.

Esjus.

Ultimately it’s meaningless. But it’s true I don’t really do that other junk.

It’s a marvel that you don’t forget how to breathe FFS.

Why is that woman even here?

What the heck is the deal with Stana Katic’s acting in that episode of Murder in a Small Town?

This was an absolutely terrible idea.

Stop saying Medicare for all! like we all want Medicare. I don’t want Medicare. You’re not doing me any favors. Stop assuming I’d be happy with Medicare.

School supplies.

Just seems super disingenuous to me. I dunno.

God forbid you should take five minutes to create a form. Oh no. Better have AI do it for you. Esjus. I can’t wait to die.

Chairman Dogzap. HA! I hate that guy so much.

That’s not how I remember it either.

That is insane.

Every minute of the day things get just a tiny bit worse.

Every time I read TikTok, my brain changes it to Tic Tac.

Tic Tacs are dumb.

Hadestown seems like a dumb title. I think you could have tried a little harder on that one.

Shit. I punched those holes on the wrong side. Dumbass.

How many massive projects is one person supposed to manage effectively, do you suppose?

I like that composer.

What’s two more bunnies, really?

I am in SO MUCH PAIN right now. It just will not stop.

Maybe I can find an ice pack. I wonder if that would help.

This book is pissing me off, which is in direct opposition to the stated goal of the book.

Ice is not helping.

I just

A multiplicity of Tiny Jesuses.

I feel like this is a thing you should be keeping track of yourself if you plan to use it for promotion. I am not your personal secretary.

tired face emoji.

Where did this giant fucking ant come from and how fast can I kill it?

WHY. WON’T. YOU. DIE.

I hate that cat.

OK, that’s a special kind of pain that translates to your knees giving out. Fuck.

Better dead than red!

“Get up from a dream and I look for rain. Take an amphetamine and a …”

I cannot get comfortable.

Man. I just want to hire all three of them. This sucks.

You don’t need an official score keeper for corn hole.

Whatever. I am just the workhorse. What would I know?

I retract my opinion from the group chat about this and shall offer nothing further.

How does this migrate across the desk as the day wears on? I don’t even know.

I need apples.

I applied for that job. They’ll interview me. They will offer it to someone else.

Because I am chained here forever.

At least it looks like I’ll actually be able to retire and not starve to death as a homeless woman.

I’ll never forgive them for this. Never. I’ve never felt so disrespected, disregarded, and irrelevant in my entire life.

I could go to lunch and never come back.

That film got too warm before it was developed.

That is a combination I would not have ever thought would work.

This is bullshit.

Too many cicadas. I’m not in a cicada mood.

I don’t even know how to do this part.

The further I read in that sentence, the worse it gets.

traffic lights and the

My voice went all wonky.

Impotent rage. Pointless I guess.

I need a mirror in here.

I need food.

I think I’ve worked enough today.

I think I’ve worked enough in this lifetime.

Not one of these people takes me or what I do at all seriously. I think I will start reciprocating.

Thanks so much for telling me you had just gone ahead and moved the deadline out a month. Super cool. Cool cool cool.

I don’t know how I’m going to hang on til 2029. I really don’t.

Where did I leave my sweater?

“What losers we have become. What scared, narrow-minded, embrace-the-familiar, bubble-wrap-your-children losers we have become.”

I don’t really need this PhD. I could just quit.

I should just bring that 3-hole punch down here permanently.

I really wish it would just RAIN already.

Why would you tell the webmaster? Why would she need information directly related to the changes you want made?

Well, that’s pretty much the exact response I expected, so. Whatever. Had to be done, regardless.

Oh this is that guy from Yellowstone.

Huh. Interesting.

Happy Birthday!

Live tracker. Neat. It’s just like on TV.

Why can I never remember what this stupid word means?

I wonder exactly how many times he used “viz.” in this book. Because I’m betting it’s in the hundreds.

Sheesh. That’s possibly the longest intro for a speaker I’ve ever heard. We don’t need to know every single one of your accomplishments ever dude.

Your mic is off, relax.

Who says against like that in real life?

I wish I had the Scribe with me right now.

Sir, you have said so many words it’s starting to sound like you are speaking a completely different language.

It doesn’t reason, it calculates. It’s not truly “intelligent.”

“An existential threat to the human race.”

I swear I have sat through another webinar presented by this guy but I cannot think of what it was.

That is not how you say Grammarly.

You’re moralizing in your opposition to the moralizers.

I like that big pine tree right there.

I definitely used to enjoy this author more.

Did you die in there?

Tired little ball of anxiety.

What’s with the cloak and dagger shit?

Man. Office clothes.

But they can’t make me wear office shoes!

I don’t want to listen to anything else.

Crap, I bet the parking lot will be full and I’ll have to walk half a mile. Definitely not wearing office shoes.

Dance break.

I still think we should have summers off. Or like summers at half time hours but full time pay.

Actually if I had my full time pay with May, June, July off, I’d probably be a lot less full of “I hate this fucking job” rage.

Whelp. Guess I better do that then.

This isn’t working.

Well. This should be a particularly special kind of Hell. Can’t wait.

I wish I were one of those people with really beautiful handwriting. I suppose if I dedicated time to it I could maybe get there.

It is not Stalin, lady. It’s Lenin.

Why did I did this?

I hate that I have to sit through so much progressive political bullshit in order to get to the information I’m actually after.

Mauled by a bear!

That is not at all why I want you to take your shoes off when you come into my house, dude.

I was trying to figure out how that giant ass horsefly got in here but it’s on the other side of the window.

“the horrible vice of pestiferous dancing” … ok then.

I thought that said “cloud laughing with rain”

Gahhhhh my handwriting is just the fucking worst.

Heavy metaphysical.

I admit I have a problem.

I want to be done with this.

It’s just a straight up lack of respect, that’s all. And I’m so tired of it.

That is not how that is spelled, ma’am.

But what does that mean?

Your songs are too long.

Water the plants.

Stop referring to everything as crucial, dude.

Seems like you ought to be addressing the crime problem rather than the not enough judges problem, but what do I know?

I’m. Wait. How many is this now? Crap.

On repeat.

You want love.

Google chats. Wow. Been a minute.

Actually, this laptop is the fucking worst.

I should probably eat something.

Why is this thing such a pain in the ass?

“The humor was … not ultimately serious.”

I beg your finest pardon, but it has been nothing BUT worries. ALL WORRIES OVER HERE, thank you very much.

When can I resign as chair? Pardon me, co-chair.

I totally legit thought you already had your PhD, dude.

I think most of my job duties have shifted so much that I should have a new title ad a new executive assistant should be hired.

“Lack of investigation into intervening variables.”

Why does everything have to be a flipping “journey”?

I cannot believe it took me this long to notice that typo.

Fine me on Teams because apparently I live there now.

I think after this I will shift my academic focus to demonology.

I prolly should

I’m gonna end up needing new knees. Fuck.

I want to know who talked.

I like the surface area of this desk, but I wish it were taller and also these drawers are dumb.

Oooh ice pack! I love you so.

“Right-coded.” FFS

That’s probably a terrible idea.

I probably should just quit.

How did I get logged out of this stupid thing?

Why does this confuse me every single time? It’s not that complicated. And yet it is confusing.

Two hundred dollars off is not enough hundreds of dollars off. So.

I didn’t forget though.

Oh shit. That is NOT what I meant to do. At all.

Curses!