antijenx

nobody here but us chickens

Random Wednesday

Dear God why.

That job sounds kind of awesome. Too bad it’s two pay grades below mine.

I hate it when I clean my desk and dust it and wipe it down and then it takes me a full day to get my keyboard and mouse back to where they’re comfortable again.

So I’m thinking W’s Girl Scout troop is officially dead. I’ma miss those cookies.

I’m just going to interoffice these damn things since I can’t seem to remember to bring them to coffee with me.

And by coffee I mean caramel apple cider until Biggby cuts me off.

Huh. I was expecting something dirtier I guess.

Well just give it a minute. Sheesh.

Digitize it!

Your horrible horrible cheap perfume alone is enough of a reason for me to be looking for a new place to work. God.

Whenever I see Menominee anywhere that Sesame Street song starts going through my head.

Read present tense.

That is some kinda fucked up.

“The medium is not always the message.”

Nice try, kid.

You thought it was a breakup letter, didn’t you?

What’s the name of that place we went with all the Norwegians and the unbelievable bakery?

The answer is NO.

I love you, Twix.

Stop telling me what to do, liberals. Stop. Staaaaaaahp. Why are you so bossy? You are not the boss of me.

Pretty sure this is what TAs are for …

I guess no one wants a letter from me then?

This is why I can’t deal with women. If you’re not of the hive mind, you must be destroyed.

But. But. But I NEED cookies.

Yes, Death Cafe. Sign me up.

Death positive, baby.

Go get yo food, bitch.

Life is too short to read books that do nothing for you.

THE PUMPKIN KING IS DOON.

Who knocked the Pumpkin King over, people? Heads. Will. Roll.

Yeah, no. No President Oprah, but good try.

Son of a motherless goat.

Just get the chicken one then.

Where are we going?

Shop your Instagram? Sweetie, no one who reads your blog can afford those prices.

I just don’t even know what to say about this.

I do not know.

I can’t review that book. I can’t even seem to finish it. In fact, I completely forgot I was reading it.

I have no idea how I got this email, but it turned out to be an interesting read.

I’m dealing with the PDFs, OK???

I remembered to bring them to coffee with me!

Oops. Blood sugar crash. Nothing worse than missing your protein window.

Everything seems warmer than it is because we got used to it being minus eleventy degrees.

And there’s the nail in the coffin of my love for Jason Isaacs. Sigh. Hypocritical asshole, just like all the others.

Come on, it’s not like I’m even a Trump family cheerleader. I just think this shit is messed up. Are you standing up for women or not? Right. You’re not.

Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t love her on Broadchurch, not sure I’ll love her as the Doctor. Not sure I’m really interested in a female Doctor anyway.

It would be nice if you could just go ahead and get back to me please and thank you.

Nothing like hanging around where you’re not appreciated.

I’ll be announcing my own cryptocurrency later today.

Wow, I just got lost in Twitter for a minute. I don’t even understand that place any more.

I love my new coat.

I’m so rolling my eyes at you.

Oh. I guess you were talking about the county.

Do you ever stop talking?

Good job. Good job.

Watching Sam Winchester do the whole demon blood junkie thing grosses me the hell out.

I typed bomb instead of Bob. Seems legit.

First of all, everybody knows you can have more than one best friend. Second of all, good luck with that.

I’ve never really been an Oprah fan anyway, to be honest.

… I half expect to find out that this is going to be happening on campus every time I come to work. I’m not really joking.

Don’t get too hung up on that rule.

I can’t write that many things.

Maybe I should try Harney & Sons.

Bleah.

Well that’s good news. But it doesn’t matter.

I threw it on the ground.

I hope you don’t think I’m picking up that slack. Cos I’m not.

I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so sorry for everything.

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It ain’t easy to get to heaven when you’re going down.

52.52 it ain’t easy ~ david bowie

(theme – stark)

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dear chickens

Have you heard of Tiny Letter? I think it’s a lovely thing. So I’m giving it a try, because I miss letters. I miss writing them almost as much as I miss receiving them. Check it out, hit subscribe, let me know what you think.  A letter from me right to your inbox every now and again. Seems ok, right?

powered by TinyLetter

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Random Wednesday

I’m not at all sure to whom he is referring, actually.

Oh wait, no. I do know. I wish I could make an eyeroll face here. Cos he’s kind of wacko.

Oooooh! And the first book looks really good, too.

Wow, you’re really set on that one, aren’t you? Sheesh.

Every single person who has said anything about resolutions has said “I don’t do resolutions, but I love the idea of intentions, so I’m doing intentions.” Just seems like basically you’re giving yourself an excuse to fail from the start. No?

You know, it’s funny, because I had intended to be not bitchy today. And already I have failed. See above.

I have no intentions. I have no resolutions. I do have a strong hankering for some caffeine.

Huh. I don’t remember City Tweed being that spendy. Oh that’s City Tweed Aran. Never mind.

I don’t know why I’m looking. The last thing I need right now is more yarn.

Trapped. Forever.

AGAIN

Um. Proprietary means something very different than propriety, lady.

Me: I’m not going to spend any money!
Universe: Midnight deer print swing dress. With pocketses.

There are about eleventy dresses on that site that I want. And all so reasonably priced! Dammit!

I was thinking about taking a class. For about 5 minutes. Then I came to my senses.

Oregonians whining about having to pump their own gas. I want to laugh, but I’m sort of baffled at the reaction.

When I was in high school we still had a few gas stations that had pump attendants. My friend Mike was one. Those stations charged extra for the service. I don’t remember when they all went by the wayside, but they were rare even then.

Wait. Easter is on April Fool’s Day this year? That’s so weird.

I could really use some lunch.

I don’t have much to say today.

Oh, that’s why it’s getting so cold in here. I turned the space heater off.

Actually, I could totally go for some bar nachos right now.

I did not win free boots for a year. Sadness.

I really need to read that book.

I really hope the DNR calls.

They probably won’t.

Seems like a thank you would have been appropriate. Dick.

I need to remember to put these postcards in the box.

We should not all work really hard to be outgoing, actually.

I don’t know who these Chip and Joanna people are, but whatever.

God I can’t stand Wil Wheaton.

I have so little energy these days, I can’t think of a single reason why I should waste any of it on you.

Well. Not YOU, chickens.

That doesn’t sound like something Socrates would say.

Never mind you, Mpix. You’re too spendy.

Seriously, how is it possible for my hair to look this bad?

I honestly can’t tell the difference.

are you there yet? are you there yet? are you there yet?

I wish I had some garden herb Triscuits.

Better than roasting I suppose.

Why is everything all “having a moment” all of a sudden? Where did that phrase come from?

What an odd meeting time.

What’s with all the plane crash documentaries lately?

beep boop. beep.

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Everybody seems so far away from me, everybody just wants to be free.

51.52 look on down from the bridge ~ mazzy star

(theme – sometimes)

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Wait for the real thing and skip all the rest, you got to be good, ’cause you’re the one that this Santa loves best, you’ve got to be good.

50.52 gotta be good ~ chris isaak

(theme – christmas)

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Random Wednesday

How is 2017 the first time we’ve ever heard of this Jolabokaflod?

Huh. I thought I withdrew from that program.

I need to wash my hair.

I’m such an ogre. Clearly.

I don’t think I want to work in the president’s office, thanks.

I only don’t know how to do it because I haven’t done it yet.

I don’t know. I guess it’s sort of like “goth cowgirl” or something.

EAT THE COOKIES!!!!

I don’t really want to listen to you all eating.

Well, that was a surprise.

Not everything needs your “witty” commentary attached to it.

It’s a wonderful life, Dean Winchester.

I’ve never actually made a formal request for five grand before.

mmmmmmm Mexicanish mmmmmmmm

Couldn’t we just skip the whole buffet breakfast that you’ll have ordered too much of and will make me clean up? No one wants it.

I think your agenda fetish is weird.

Apply for all the jobs!

The potatoes were good though.

Wow that’s … generic.

Ack! More weird new Instagram updates.

Hey, you should check out Patriot on Amazon. Brilliant.

I didn’t talk much. I bet that will be demerits or something in my next one on one. grr

OK. I guess. I don’t know.

Bikinis fine I don’t care
again he’s fine I don’t care
but Kenny is fine I don’t care

I feel like I should finish Lonesome Dove, but man.

I actually love all of these ideas. (Although I think the charity one could be tricky.)

Oops. I guess that’s not the correct answer.

I don’t miss the Expedition, but I do sometimes miss the roominess.

Yeah, that sounds awful. What a monster.

That might be kind of cool.

I’ve been neglectful.

I wish I had a cider. Maybe I can make a Biggby run.

Probably not. SIGH.

I still have a couple of hours.

HOURS.

It’s professional development or something.

I dunno. I like wolves.

That’s five now.

This is kind of awesome.

It’s like time just STOPS. Of course time never stops when you want it to.

Never.

I’m not sure that this book will actually help me be a better supervisor.

I just think if you’re going to buy someone a meal, you don’t make them clean it up afterward. That’s just weird.

That’s a good one for the calendar.

Are you wearing extra of your stinky awful perfume today? I should not be able to smell you in my cube. I should not be able to taste your perfume, period. God. It’s so awful.

So. Awful.

That might be a cool job.

The smoke pooling out of the boot was a nice touch.

Maybe I should watch The Ref.

Can I watch The Ref anymore? With all the Kevin Spacey grossness can I even watch that movie?

JESUS AFTER DINNER I SAID.

Why does my hand hurt?

How far is it to Peoria?

This is the first I’m hearing about a Bronco trophy.

We should move to a haunted mansion and make it a tourist attraction. “Come sleep in the haunted mansion!”

I’m totally gonna be a ghost and haunt people after I die.

It’d be a little weird if I did it before I died.

Probably.

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If I make the lashes dark and the eyes more bright and the lips more scarlet, or ask if all be right from mirror after mirror, no vanity’s displayed: I’m looking for the face I had before the world was made.

49.52 before the world was made ~ w.b. yeats

(theme – quiet)

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Random Wednesday

Well, yes. It is rather a bright sweater.

Who steals spoons? And how are there that many people stealing spoons? Maybe they’re not stealing them, but throwing them away? I don’t understand.

I typed deadling instead of deadline. I’m OK with that.

I just realized that the guy who plays the vampire Eli is the guy who plays the vampire Benny later.

I always think it’s interesting when shows do that. Like Nicholas Lea on the X Files. That’s the only other example I can think of right now.  I never much cared for him.

Wow, my mousepad is filthy.

I really don’t like the actress that plays Meg in season 1. At all.

Guess I better find my winter boots.

The camera work in this episode of Supernatural is killing me.

I am already over this whole Jack storyline. Sheesh.

Wow. That was super un-Dean-like. They should kill Mary off already. Man.

I’m probably about to fall asleep right now.

I’m so glad we don’t do a Secret Santa thing here.

That sounds awful.

No one wants to hear me talk.

I can’t even remember the last time I saw them.

I don’t know where you’re going to put this person.

Is it a statement? Is it a question? I don’t understand your message!

A pay cut is not a deal breaker at this point.

This is because to the left, conservative women aren’t women at all.

I think you balance the professional boss-like relationship with friendship and support, and it works really well.

Thanks, Psych the Movie. Now I just miss the show all over again. Good job.

the h o r r o r

OK, seriously, that might be the worst episode of Supernatural I have ever seen. WTF, guys?

So, what. They’re like stuck in Dinotopia now? Come on, son.

Damn. I thought that said 3:19. It did not.

Also I hate Dinotopia.

I could go for a brownie.

Everybody’s running around the office giving each other presents. It’s weird.

I hope his absence this last two weeks means he’s no longer with the radio station. I can’t stand that guy.

I’ve never seen Elf. I’m OK with that.

Well. That might have bought us some time.

I just do not care about Star Wars and you can’t make me.

I think she needs a shawl.

Fuck! I was really hoping they’d forgotten about that.

OMG Enough. Enough with your fantasy memes about the disaster of life without Net Neutrality. It’s foolishness. Let it die.

I just really don’t want to be anyone’s executive assistant anymore. I never really wanted to be anyone’s executive assistant in the first place.

I don’t think we’re winning any hearts and minds with this one.

Stupid clothes with no pockets.

Come to think of it, I’m not super fond of the actress who plays Meg later, either. I don’t like the way she talks all smarmy and nasally. She talks like that in everything I’ve ever seen her in.  That’s mean. I’m only going based on the assumption that she always puts on this weird acting voice. I have no idea what she sounds like out in the world.

I typed worlds. I wonder what she sounds like out in the worlds.

I like oranges. Oranges are a lovely gift. Thank you.

Are David Tenant’s feet really that big?

Yawn. Boring. Blah blah. Gonna apply.

I really only follow her for the occasional glimpses of Neil or baby Ash.

I don’t like retirement party cake. Retirement parties should all come with brownies. That icing has too much sugar.

I think I probably just don’t like parties.

Or maybe I would like them if I were invited to them.

Why does the weather always wait til I’m about to have to drive in it to turn to shit?

Send shoes.

They should make waste pipes extra large in anticipation of your 3.5 year old flushing wool beanies down the toilet.

Uff da.

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You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and latch on to the affirmative – don’t mess with Mister In-Between.

48.52 accentuate the positive ~ johnny mercer

(theme – bright)

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