“You are occupying the space of somebody who might actually like me, so you have to go.”

I have terrible posture.

This woman is just gorgeous.

I might have used an eensy bit too much cinnamon.

I’ve watched the Millennium series many times – all three seasons. But reading this Lance Henriksen book now, I realize just how little I ever remember of season 3. I think shows like the Killing and the Following are pretty heavily influenced by that first season of Millennium (which was pretty damn brilliant).

Aw!

Unlawful Possession of Certain Ammunition Feeding Devices

In Michigan, a tornado can occur any month of the year. Scary stuff.

Mad Libs aren’t nearly as much fun by yourself.

Hmmm.  I’m thinking probably not so much. Also I’m not really a fan of Jonathan Rhys Meyers. (I actually really enjoyed Dracula 2000 as well)

Yeah, it’s hilarious.

Well. Never mind then.

The first thing I noticed were the framed photos of Che on the wall.

I just don’t care for Sam Rockwell. I’ve probably mentioned this.

Aw, I want to see this!

So … if 24 is only back for 12 episodes … can’t really be 24, can it?

Fornicating Under Consent of the King

soooooooooo beautiful. I love her work. Nicola Taylor.

We all know how I feel about the term YOLO, but this is cute.

Man. I REALLY do not understand hippies.

I’m making that finger pointy “ha ha!” Simpsons laugh.

Poor liberals.

I don’t have an opinion on Angelina Jolie’s boobs. Her boobs are her bidness.

What the hell is a tickter?

OK, I’ve been to Queensland, and had I known they had spiders that big before I went, I would never have left the states. Yeesh! I never saw a spider like that the whole time I was in Australia.

If you say words with ism over and over they all stop making sensism.

So. Who’s buyin’ me an iPad? … Anyone? OK, how about a ticket to Chris Isaak in July?

Mmmmmm pumpkin spice tea.

Ohh! I should make some pumpkin bread!

Springtime on the Compound.

Sad day. They’re cutting down the 200 year old oak in front of my office. To be fair, it did just lose a gigantic branch that could have killed someone. But still. It’s sad.

Seems like Ellis’ shunning should be louder by now.

Why was the cat in the bag in the first place? Who puts cats in bags? Unless you plan to drown them. In which case someone oughta put you in a bag. Meanhead.

no matter how you

This trip may include less free time than I thought.

Why don’t they ever tell me when someone is going to be walking around on the damn roof?

This is just the tiniest bit terrifying.

Sometimes it’s not a duckface. Sometimes someone is making a kissy face. You have to make distinctions.

i want all the

Apparently it’s giganomous cinnamon roll day.

Wait, remind me who was in Dead River Drag?

I never had that album.

So many questions. So many questions.

What? What?! What.

Don’t let me forget to go to the UPS store.

I don’t know. I don’t think you can legitimately use the name Cletus in literature and not lose at least some degree of gravity.

I’ve read some of the books on your “books that will change your life” list, and I have to disagree.

We can only hope it will be better than True Blood.

Hey birthers? Not helping. Let the administration bury themselves.

I don’t understand your title. “Michigan for Our America Initiative”. That makes no sense to me. Also it’s just hard to say.

Also I can’t hear Initiative in that context without my brain going directly to Buffy.

No really. For serious. Pay me.

Austin is like some weird worm hole deposited anomaly or something. How does a place like that even happen?

Oh. Yeah, that makes sense – Willie Nelson.

Did I say that already?

It’s practically a tome.

I kind of love this. I do.

I’m not even kidding when I say that more often than not these days, I can’t tell whether it’s news or it’s satire.

I am a robot making pancakes.

Hey! You can take your caps lock and go on home, mister!

that’s me in the

Can one leave Google +?

You know how awkward I can be with humans.

Hey! Send me new music for my trip! I need stuff to listen to. That’s a long way.

Shh. I’ll tell ya latah.

Huh. Well that doesn’t seem quite right. It’s probably an earwig or something. Or a mosquito. Because OH MY GOD THE MOSQUITOES.

Nope, lots of free time. We’re good. Woo hoo!

What if I

audit audio audible audition auditorium

Aaaaaaargh. I can never remember how stupid iTunes works. Zune was so much user friendlier.

Yeah, I’m not good with math either. That’s why my job isn’t math.

I think people generally have the wrong idea. Stoppit.

hey. yeah. now i’m just cranky.

I know a surprising number of people in Texas. Don’t mess with me.

sigh.

Well, really, what does Obama have to lose by slamming conservatives every chance he gets? It’s not like he has an election at stake.

I wonder if they hate this song now.

These are so beautiful.

Holy wow! Want!

Remember that episode of Highlander when the bad guy was Roland Gift?

I would like a shooting coach.

Can I do Random from the road? That’d be a good one. But not terribly practical. And I don’t know if I’ll have a laptop with me. Hmm. I might have to take notes and type it all up upon my return.

Unless I don’t end up going because that kind of crap happens all the time, in which case, it’s moot.

Moot.

moooooooooot.

Dr. Pepper Icee. I didn’t even know there was such a thing.

Lance Henriksen. I love you. That man drops the f-bomb more than I do. And that’s saying something.

My pal, Marko? With the book I told you to read? Just signed a big book deal. So now you REALLY have to read it. And also tell him kudos, cos that is some seriously awesome bidness.

I just remembered I have Thursday and Friday off! Sweet!

The only thing on my ballot was the millage renewal. Of course I voted NO! Of course it will pass anyway. Bastards.

Miss W is giving me crap about saying “wouldja?” You’d think she wasn’t born and raised in Michigan. Sheesh.

Huh. I have to say I really didn’t think Sanford was going to win that.

Stop calling it a “mini-sesh”. Right now.

I don’t know. When I hear “women of punk,” Kate Bush doesn’t really ever come to mind.

I’m a little dubious of this guy. Maybe more than a little.

I need to figure out this bee thing.

I love these.

It’s the first thing that I thought of.

Head.

Shut it. Or I’ll shoot you with my pencil gun. pew! pew! pew!

Heh

It’s his company and he can say and do what he wants. What people should perhaps be more upset about is that despite his feelings being very much public, business is still booming.

Also, I’m kinda all “who cares?” about it. I mean. It’s Abercrombie zombie.

I should turn the Benghazi hearings off. That’s what I should do. It just pisses me off.

I would like a bow.

See? “Request to renew 0.4 mill levy for operations for four years. Yes: 11,747; No: 4,499.” Bastards.

Wow. Suddenly incredibly sleepy.

The cowboy is my very favorite.

I kind of love this too, but there is too much Crazy Pants Cruise. (And some of them aren’t done very well.)

I need a document scanner.

Yes, as long as you stand there.

pew!

Hmmmm

Yep. iPad it is. I’m starting to get excited. I hope this doesn’t get canceled on me.

Thunder!

Five minutes of rain? Really?

I would so be a kick ass White House photographer.

This is great and all, and yay for all the “how do you get a bikini body? put a bikini on it” positive thinkin’ motivational speechifyin’ going around, but is it really going to get me on a beach in a bikini? No. It really isn’t.

How did I miss the fact that Willie Nelson is in town tonight?

That’s why he lives alone. On an island. In a cave.

Interesting. But I still just don’t love it like I wanted to.

I dunno. Maybe it’ll grow on me.

I really wish James Marsters would stop doing whatever that is to his hair.

This book is really good so far. You should totally read it. I’m sorry it sat in my to read stack for as long as it did. Although there’s a typo in Max Brooks’ blurb at the beginning.

I just don’t care for Wil Wheaton at all.

Link happy.

I really kind of have a pretty great job. I might hate it sometimes, but, as jobs go? My bosses are fantastic and they love me. Almost all of my coworkers love me, and they’re good people. My students love me, and they’re the best. Yeah. It has its days, but they’re outweighed.

Of course, I wish I could stay home and be mom. Or. WHITE HOUSE PHOTOGRAPHER. Cos I’d kick ass at that. Could someone tell the next pres that please? Rand Paul or whoever. No Dems, please.

This chair is uncomfortable.

Shit. I was supposed to stop at the UPS store.

It sounds like aliens screaming. Or that voice of the bugs when Oogie Boogie falls apart.

It’s getting chilly manamana

Smashing Pumpkins. I saw them once. I haven’t listened to them in years. That bassist chick’s dad used to work with my dad. No, I never met her. Whatsername? Darcy. Darcy? Darcy.

“Pick up the book nearest to you. Turn to page 45. The first sentence explains your love life.”      ”Ultimately, Henriksen’s time in the military did nothing to change the direction of his life.”     Hmmmmm.

a handful of stars

I dropped that crazy class. No time! No time, I tell you!

I should have learned more languages.

I should have finished school the first time.

That’s all the time I have for should haves.

Now it’s time for … I don’t know. I forgot what I was going to say.

I’ll just go knit the TARDIS now.

I don’t really care about Kim Kardashian at all. I’ve never seen her show. I only even have the vaguest idea of who she is. But having been a pregnant woman, who has been swollen and felt like a whale, and miserable, I really wish people would leave her the hell alone in regard to her weight. It actually pisses me off how mean people are being.

Nerdy umbrage.

If your morals are that easily bought and sold, you have much bigger problems than capitalism.

like putting a santa hat on karl marx

I don’t care if you’re gay. I just don’t. It’s like the least relevant thing about you. I care if you’re a scifi geek. I care if you have common sense. I care if you like alt.country. I don’t give a shit who you sleep with.

Unless you’re Red. Then I expect details.

Sometimes I feel like a pretty spectacular failure. That I’m failing spectacularly? Whatever.

Dear God, stop calling them the FEELS.

“Yeah, it takes a lot of courage coming out of the closet to a standing ovation.”

Nice.

This father, who wishes to remain anonymous – how brave! – is an asshole. These people are horrible people.

Do I post too much to the blog? Maybe I don’t post enough. Oh brother, it’s not like you’re making money at it, Jennifer.

I’m sorry. I’ve just never really gotten the whole Andy Warhol adoration. His art just does not speak to me.

Also not speaking to me - these photos.

Love it!

Too much work to do. Bring me a dumpster!

I’ve seen selections from this series before. Interesting stuff. It doesn’t feel quite authentic though. Slightly NSFW.

It’d be nice to actually be going somewhere for vacation.

Did my internet just break?

This is kind of depressing.

I really need to just figure out how to build one.

We have too much stuff. Way too much stuff. I’m starting to feel claustrophobic and overwhelmed. I really just need a dumpster. Right now.

Ridiculous. Just flipping ridiculous. That actually makes me angry.

I am straight up filthy right now. It’s so disgusting.

That actually hurt my brain.

Something evil wasp ant thing with sting bitey teeth was just crawling around in my shorts sting biting me. I’m so fucking done with this “vacation.”

Minimalism is looking more and more appealing all the time.

Taekwondo ho!

That is a seriously giganomous fly. What the hell?

Well, you know, it was cold, they were hungry, and dude was all “If you don’t work, you don’t eat, bitches!”

The fart of solidarity.

May Day.

Lots of weird activity on the blog today. I wish I knew what people were thinking when they happen across this thing.

I don’t think some people are appreciating my random staycation texts.

I also don’t think people really appreciate the awesome of a mystery box of books in the mail for shipping plus 2 bux. No sense of fun. No sense of adventure. Poor people.

This just really makes me wish I could sew that much more.

I think it’s weird that you’re moving and you haven’t told your children that you’re moving.

Yes, I am checking my work email. Shut up. It’s self preservation.

OK. No Neil Gaiman. Yes Chris Isaak. I can live with that.

I want slices of mozzarella and crackers.

Have you seen the Doctor Puppet yet? Because it’s so wonderful, and you really should.

9 times out of 10 children

Who else would I want to have a Parks & Rec marathon with?

Shut up, I am not Leslie.

Chicken. Pot. Pie!!!!!

Where the hell is my copy of Good Omens?

Hell’s bells it’s stuffy in here.

Oh Dear Lord.

Oh now it’s “reductive rights” not “abortion rights”?

Yep.

And then there’s this, which I disagree with. I think Tebow has gotten persecuted for being so devout, and I think any half wit can look at the media and see that. As for the newly out of heh closet athlete – see my above quote. He’s not going to be persecuted in the slightest.

But mostly I don’t care about sports in the least, and I care less about whether you’re gay OR Christian.

I reserve the right to remain indifferent. It’s my new motto. I need to cross stitch a sampler. Along with “In theory,” “I’m workin’ on it,” and “Shut the fuck up.”

Also this is bullshit.

Well, the mosquitoes sure as hell didn’t waste any time getting here.

el oh el

I don’t know. I’m sending mixed messages today. Last week was so much better.

It’s probably too late to take a shower. Ew.

Speaking of. How the hell did it get so late?

too much stuff too much stuff too much stuff

I’ma sit on the patio thinger while it’s stormy and read. Staycation, bitches!

Such a crazy busy day today.

And all my meetings are back! le sigh.

I kind of want this outfit.

I don’t know. I don’t understand the whole Neil Gaiman/Amanda Palmer thing. And I hated Palmer, and then I kind of liked her, because I really liked a couple songs off Who Killed Amanda Palmer, and then I liked a couple songs off whatever that last one was called. But I also still kind of couldn’t stand her. And you know I’ve commented on her ridiculous eyebrows more than once. Mostly I’m sort of meh. But for her to write a poem that blatantly empathizes (and she’d really like you to know the subtle but important difference between empathize and sympathize) with the bomber, and then to deny that it’s about him at all suggests to me that she just thinks that we’re all just a bunch of fucking idiots. Sorry, doesn’t take a Master’s in English lit to be able to interpret your poetry, Amanda Fucking Palmer.

Also, I’m sorry, but monsters DO exist. Why should I try to empathize with or humanize them?

But the photographs in the book (Who Killed Amanda Palmer) are totally up my alley, and I’d still love to own a copy. And I’m still a huge Neil Gaiman fan, have been since Issue No. 1 of the Sandman. (Thank you, Scott Hutchings)

I’ve spent too much time on Amanda Palmer. Dammit.

oh ho ho

It’s Administrative Professionals Appreciation Week. And frankly, I’ve never felt less appreciated.

rain rain rain zen happy rain hand me a cuppa

I need to get some more paracord bracelets done.

I need a tiny Santa hat.

Yes, I do think making a Santa hat for tiny Karl Marx is a good use of my time.

WHAT?!?!!  @#(*^ $%&#*

That Sharpie came off my hand surprisingly easily. I don’t think they’re making Sharpies as well as they used to.

“Is there a library where all the books are?”

And now there’s a Weird Science remake in the works. Come. On.

Hmmm. The problem still lies in who decides what constitutes an imminent threat.

I thought the idea behind not using a curriculum was to allow your child to learn what he or she is interested in at his or her own pace, and not be concerned with the “right information” or staying at grade level. The concept of “grade level” is designed to perpetuate this insane concept that all children of a certain age should be “ideally” at the same place at the same time. There is too much emphasis placed on it. Children should be allowed to learn at whatever level is appropriate to them. Age segregation is detrimental to society.

This just makes me sad. (NSFW)

I really wish I had learned Norwegian.

Hmmmmmm. Yeah, I can see that. Of course, allowing drones to “proliferate” is seriously dangerous ground.

Well. Deke Slayton was a damn good looking man, wasn’t he?

Snow again?? I may actually cry.

So much ridiculous.

Tell Omar to take his finger off the trigger.

I might have pinched a nerve in my wrist.

Someone bring me a sandwich.

This is pretty ok pizza.

I love pizza.

Why is my work internet sucking?

You are such a tramp.

Jesus. All I did was stick a Santa hat on Karl Marx.

And these are the people that should be the only ones allowed to have guns. … Uh huh.

“I like how that thread started out sort of cute and stuff, but then became this super-ugly psychodrama train wreck.”

sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

I kind of love this octopus and how he sort of resembles a light bulb with squiggly arms who wants to hoard your rings.

I really need to learn cross stitch.

run away, yeah

Some animals are more equal than others.

I don’t think it’s appropriate for POTUS to be speaking at a Planned Parenthood event. I don’t care what his political affiliation is.

Wow. Now I’m being attacked by a whole new jack ass. It’s a good day to be me.

God, I am never going to be able to finish reading this article.

Why is catering so flipping RUDE??? We’re paying you a small fortune, suck it up and at least TRY to fake civility.

this tomato loves you

Seriously, the only word I can even utter right now is WOW.

Yeah, so Fioricet is ok. Head still hurts, but not as much, and I care a whole lot less.

I guess that also means no treadmill this evening.

Meatballs are delicious. Unless they’re Swedish. I don’t have anything against Swedes. I feel the need to qualify that lest I draw more fire from people itching to call me racist or something today.

It’s been a rough day.

I probably need to hang this in my office.

Also why didn’t anyone tell me before now that I should check out Parks and Recreation?? That is some funny stuff.

Whip that snap.

I don’t actually go out of my way to be a jerk. … Unlike SOME people.

“No! No no no! You do not shave away your manly beard!”

I’m so sorry.

It’s been stuck in my head for the last hour.

Argh! I checked my gauge! Why is this knitting up small???

I’m telling you. My knitting mojo is OFF right now.

I wish I was going to Texas.

Maybe someone could come give me a wardrobe/closet make over. Cos I admit I need help. Also that dress in that last pic is super cute and I would totally wear that. No skinny jeans, please.

No, really, I always secretly hoped someone would nominate me for What Not to Wear, because they give you money for new clothes.

I’m having a really hard time getting through Sing You Home. It’s just so very way too extreme with the stereotyping. Picoult goes way too far with the obvious to prove her point. It’s disappointing.

In awesome news, the Tell the Wolves I’m Home author will likely be on campus this fall, hosted by us. This won as our pick for the college common read for the fall.

Oh my Christ. This is awesome.

Please don’t eat me! God will not help you, puny human!

HA!

I think I know better than you do what it’s like to be a conservative on the campus where I freaking work.

I was daydreaming the other day. (Shut up, everyone so does too do that. Also I don’t normally call it daydreaming.  Cos that just seems lame) And I imagined that I wrote a monthly column for Reason about being a conservative libertarian on a college campus and each article covered a different topic.

The good news is, I don’t have to train up a new boss.

Beautiful.

Sometimes a cupcake is just a cupcake. Now I want a cupcake. In other words: STOP ASSIGNING RIDICULOUS HIDDEN MEANING TO STUPID SHIT.

Ok. I vote yes on Fioricet. Just in case you were wondering.

la la la