antijenx

nobody here but us chickens

Random Wednesday


I forgot how good this perfume smells.

Costco has surprisingly good lasagna.

I’ll publish a book or something.

Woke breaking point. Yep.

Well. Nobody said you had to stick around, I guess.

Way to go Paula Zahn. Sheesh.

It’s not apart. It’s a part. They’ve already kept you apart. You want to be a part. Come on.

Die, fly. Die.

Don’t be the weak girl.

“Wouldn’t it be cool if we were able to provide a blueprint for everyone else on how to stand up and let the classical liberal values of reason, universality, respect for the individual and fairness retake control of communities? What about modeling civil dialogue across difference?” — THIS is what I have been trying to do on campus. THIS is what I’m dedicated to.

I only even look at the New York Times because we have free access to it through work. And once a month or so, they actually post something that I have interest in – usually death work related. Mostly, though, it’s a joke of a publication.

There never seems to be any shortage of stupid.

ARGH. I ordered the wrong gorram notebook.

I have no experience cold mailing a resume. Weirdness.

Uh oh. I’ve escalated to letter writing. There’s a skill you definitely lose if you don’t use it.

“Human flesh simulant.” I read the funnest stuff.

WordPress doesn’t think simulant is a word.

Please don’t eat the ballistic gelatin.

I only have so much room. On my walls. On my shelves. On my floors. Only so much room.

I wish I had bought more of these shorts when I came across them at Target that one time. They’re probably my favorite.

My problem is that I don’t have enough interest in any one thing to do it for the entire rest of my life. At least not so far.

I wish I felt wanted or welcome there.

I can’t find that picture of Max Brooks and me right now.

There’s Thomas Lynch signing my book though.

You take the Red line to get to the space dinos and their pet fish.

Must have been 2008. 2008 is not on this drive. Everything prior to 2009 is on CD/DVD.

“Jackson Pollock couldn’t diagram that last sentence.”

No, not that sentence.

I wish I could French braid my hair.

I wish people still wrote letters.

I wish Dana Stabenow had continued the Liam Campbell series beyond four books. I thought there were three. I guess at the time I originally read them, the fourth wasn’t out. I don’t recall ever seeing it. Oh well. At least on this reread I get a bonus. Nice!

This year may as well not even exist except as some form of cosmic punishment. I haven’t figured out what for yet.

Swimming with my boots on and we’ll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow.

Curiously focused on this shit today.

NOT looking forward to the staff meeting at all.

I have just realized that I have not regularly worn shoes in months. How strange.

How do you expect elementary aged school children to maintain these ridiculous guidelines? This is insane. In.Sane.

How have I not made a Chris Isaak playlist? What is wrong with me?

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Random Wednesday


It’s the Man Who Fell TO Earth, not FROM Earth.

But what if I have angst, ennui, and weltschmerz?

I suppose it’s not the end of the world if I have to live out my days as an over-educated executive assistant. How many people get to do their dream job anyway? Especially now that the government has wholly tanked the economy?

It’s mosquito season. So. You know. There’s still time for us all to contract some exotic virus and die. The year’s only half over.

Dude. It’s debreeeeee. Not debreeze. JESUS.

My most sincere wish for this world is that people would learn the difference between “in lieu of” and “in light of.”

Nope. Schitt’s Creek went right back to being spectacularly unfunny. Shame. Also I super hate Chris Elliott.

Antipathy is the word I’ve been searching for. I hadn’t realized for quite how long. How could I have forgotten it?

Don’t mind me. Just wandered in to virtue signal. Carry on.

Hail to the King, baby.

Maybe I should move to South Dakota. I feel like I’d fit in in South Dakota.

And now Nick Cave is canceled. Fuck absolutely everything.

“It’s vital to resist the temptation to allow our present moment, so rich with the potential for genuine and overdue social change, to deteriorate into a McCarthy-like hunt for wrong-thinkers.”

Does everyone just assume actors actually mean the shit they say in those ridiculous black and white repetitious videos they put out? They’re actors, FFS. They literally make their living convincingly lying to you.

That guy might look better with a beard.

Every family who lost a loved one as a result of Whitmer’s nursing home policy should file a wrongful death suit against her and Dana Nessel.

Liberalism is not just a set of rules. There’s a spirit to it. A spirit that believes that there are whole spheres of human life that lie beyond ideology — friendship, art, love, sex, scholarship, family. A spirit that seeks not to impose orthodoxy but to open up the possibilities of the human mind and soul. A spirit that seeks moral clarity but understands that this is very hard, that life and history are complex, and it is this complexity that a truly liberal society seeks to understand if it wants to advance. It is a spirit that deals with an argument — and not a person — and that counters that argument with logic, not abuse. It’s a spirit that allows for various ideas to clash and evolve, and treats citizens as equal, regardless of their race, rather than insisting on equity for designated racial groups. It’s a spirit that delights sometimes in being wrong because it offers an opportunity to figure out what’s right. And it’s generous, humorous, and graceful in its love of argument and debate. It gives you space to think and reflect and deliberate.”

“He was found in Baja, California. He has already been extradited to the U.S.”

Oops. I did not mean to delete that app.

Yeah, thanks, but absolutely none of my research is on Asia. At all.

Dear God. More thumb drives.

This is my life.

What I want to know is – Is Mercury ever NOT in retrograde?

There are snails crawling on that woman’s face.

Rick Astley’s actually got a great voice, and back in middle school I listened to him quite a bit. I’m not embarrassed. This is a dope cover.

I don’t even know where to send this.

I have no control over this. For. The. Record.

“Be like that tree, in the meridian.”

I clearly need a larger work space. This desk is much too small.

This is absolutely absurd. This is sloppy police work, it’s clearly biased work on the part of the prosecutor. THIS is why technology is dangerous. Stop doing this. STOP.

I can’t remember when I started this. I suppose it’s probably time to stop.  This post I mean. Probably not the whole blog.

DOES IT EVEN MATTER.

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This American Lion in Black and Drugs and Murder and Mayhem and My Baggage

Handsome, and deeply flawed, men.

Not really. But kinda. The title I mean.

Look. I can’t even remember the last time I posted about this Johnny Cash book. It’s just so goddamned detailed. I mean I feel like I personally knew the man at this point and I’m only like halfway through. And I have to tell you. Growing up with an addict for a parent makes reading about addicts rough.  I can’t read this straight through. It’s not like just ripping off the band aid and getting it over with. It’s more like “Yep, my mom did something like that once and three cars ended up rear ending a semi on the freeway as we rolled by going about 25 in a 55 nearly taking two of those drivers out after they’d gotten out of their cars. I was like 13 or 14. I can’t remember. No one helped me. The police never stopped her. How did no one get her plate number?” And I can’t decide if it’s harder to read now that she’s dead or not. Do I really feel like I need to keep trying to finish this book? I just don’t know. Also that might be as personal as I’ve ever gotten on this bloggy thingy.

The thing is, Johnny Cash was a very interesting and deeply flawed man. I love his music. Well. A lot of his music. Some of it’s just. Meh. Whatever. Didn’t you already do this song and call it something else? Which even the book points out was a thing when he was deep in the throes of drugs drugs drugs.

Much like with my mother, I both love you and hate you, Johnny Cash.

But there’s a lockdown in week eleventy ordered through questionable authority and motivation and I looked at it, sitting on my nightstand for over a year and picked it up again.  I feel like this is a book I’ll be reading for the next ten years. Lockdown or no lockdown, I can only stomach a few pages at a time. I guess I’ll report back in a few years and let you know how it’s going. Right now he’s about to do his live from Folsom concert. He’s semi-sober.

I can’t even comprehend living your life that way. And then when you do sober up you’re suddenly some kind of hero. I’m maybe a little bitter. Let’s move on to the other book I’ve been reading for three years.

My favorite historical nutball.

Here’s the thing about Andrew Jackson: Aside from his totally racist and bigoted motivation behind the genocidal push of Native Americans off their land and into the West, he would have been a pretty brilliant president. Also he was a total badass. Dude was in more than 100 duels and walked around with a bullet permanently lodged in his person from one of them.

And here’s where I encounter a perpetual dilemma. Can you ignore the bad actions of otherwise decent men (and women) and look to the good they’ve done? I mean Ted Kennedy is a prime modern example of this, right? Montstrously dickish human. Never suffered any consequences for the death of Mary Jo Kopechne. But devoted Dems far and wide loved that man. They don’t care about that poor woman who might be alive today if not for his drunken ass. Not to mention the countless other women who suffered for being near him. Actually, never mind. Ted Kennedy most certainly was not a decent person. Probably you can think of other examples. Oh, Obama. How about all those drone strikes. But y’all loved that man. “Still miss him!” Right? Extra judicial execution of innocent American citizens be damned! Shit like this happens all the time. Jackson’s actions unquestionably caused the deaths of thousands of innocent people. And I’m not bringing up examples of prominent Democrats to excuse that. I’m just trying to make a point, and not doing a very good job of it. But anyway, he also did great things for the country. Like getting us 100% out of debt – to this day, the only American president to ever do so.

All that aside, this book is written in a painstakingly detailed fashion, much like Cash. And I am slogging along through ENTIRELY TOO MUCH DETAIL. But this one also will, in the middle of talking about Jackson’s inaugural speech, suddenly jump to years later and Calhoun and some detail seemingly totally unrelated, but perhaps we’ll understand later. How is it that this is the kind of writing that always wins the Pulitzer?

P.S. It’s PULL-its-er, NOT Pewlitzer. Stop saying Pewlitzer. You’re saying it wrong. Trust me on this, if nothing else. You Pewlitzer folks drive me batty.

Also Andrew Jackson totally looks like this guy I went to middle and high school with and was one of the “cool” kids but I haven’t seen or spoken to since then because I was never cool enough to be friends with him for real. I think he’s an opera singer now. No joke. Crazy talented.

Anyway, this post is lacking in my usual humorous take on why I can’t finish shit, but you can blame it on my mother. Or not. I don’t care. This current way of life has me perpetually seething just below the surface, on the verge of giving up on reaching out to people, and generally just quietly cranky. Fuck it.

Look how skinny I was. I miss skinny me. Tellin’ secrets to giant Andrew Jackson’s head in Houston in 2013.

I fully condemn Jackson’s order to force Native Americans into the West. But I do find his life fascinating. We’ll see if I ever finish this one, I suppose.

I don’t know what y’all are reading, but if you’re in the Read Death Book Club, I fully expect it to be Being Mortal!

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Random Wednesday

If I had regular video meetings, B would totally do this if I asked him to.

The needs of the many never outweigh the needs of the few. You have no right to make that call.

I wish my patio was clean and it was a little warmer so I could just go out there and sit.

I wish I had the energy to clean my patio at the moment.

I can’t really do anything about the weather.

Gaaaah They made a movie out of that horrible book?

“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” is not a legitimate moral argument either, so stop claiming it.

I don’t care about Fiona Apple.

Obviously, the only reporting or comments I’ve seen from the left about this have been “ZOMG, how can they let this horrible bastard off the hook???” Abuse of power is abuse of power, no matter where it comes from or who the victim is.

“Stop protesting or I’ll extend the lock down” seems like a pretty parental thing to say. The governor is not your mommy.

She is, however, a fascist.

I don’t understand roll up ice cream.

We were out in Seattle last fall. After we got home, we all got sick one by one. M missed about two weeks of school. We took him to the doc twice who said “it’s just a virus, it’ll run its course, nothing we can do.” And it did, eventually. Fevers, loads of coughing, cold-like runny noses. I was diagnosed with “it’s probably bronchitis” at one point. It started in early October, and we were finally all feeling completely well in January. Maybe it was COVID, maybe it wasn’t. But there’s so much “we don’t know” about this whole thing that I don’t even care any more.

You can’t keep this film on pause for fucking ever.

OFFS So, essentially, you did all this for attention, because what? The world wasn’t paying quite enough of it to Amanda Palmer? Fucking drama queen. Also? YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY MOTHER IN THE WORLD AND YOU HAVE A FUCKING NANNY. Stop acting like you fucking invented this shit.

Also? If you and your husband are finding your marriage strained by this shit, perhaps you have bigger problems that should be addressed. That’s just kind of a blanket message to everybody. Because I’m a marriage therapist now.

I think I might be feeling a little tiny bit bitchy. So, I’m going to go read a book for a while.

Sorry, I’m never going to be on your “new normal” bandwagon. I’m never going to be OK with facemasks forever. I’m never going to blindly accept whatever the government is telling me as gospel, because how often has the government been right so far? Throughout history.

was taking this virus seriously. For a minute. I quickly got over that. I see it as any other illness on any other given day. And that doesn’t make me an asshole. It doesn’t make me selfish.

And we very very clearly are not all in this together.

But. Haven’t the CDC and the WHO been very very wrong about several very important things so far?

Referring to your side as “the majority” or the opposing view as “the minority” doesn’t make it true.

Still not interested in a vaccine.

I AM STILL ITCHY

It’s nice to take a break from research and death ed reads and just get lost in this murder mystery.

We’re all in this together in these unprecedented times this situation is evolving rapidly we must flatten the curve stay home stay safe we hope you are well we hope this finds you healthy we’ll get through this together healthcare heroes social distance don’t touch your face wash your hands safe at home

Just stop.

“We were living with this thing just fine until the whole world freaked out.”

Wow. I did not realize he had traveled in violation of restrictions. I sincerely hope he doesn’t make any future “we’re all in this together” comments about fuck all.

I do so enjoy the rain though.

Step 7: Do not move until nightfall. Repeat.

I feel like lofi hip hop music – beats to relax/study to is my generation’s equivalent to my grandparents’ easy listening “elevator” music and I’m OK with that.

Or maybe it belongs to Millennials, but we stole it from you. I’m OK with that too.

They’re pennants, not pendants. PENNANTS.

It’s so cute that My Favorite Murder thinks it knows anything at all about being punk.

That’s a sarcastic cute. In case you missed it.

I really have grown to kind of hate them.

Maybe I should delete some of this …

No, it’s fine. Fuck it.

I wasn’t sure about Schitt’s Creek for the first couple of episodes, but it’s hilarious. I’m glad I stuck with it.

Not much I hate more than vaguebooking.

I like to be surprised with things in the mail too.

Why do people always want to surround the subject with intangibles when they write? “The rights surrounding these people.” Rights don’t surround you. They belong to you. You used “surrounding” or a variation thereof at least 3 times in one paragraph. How did you get a Master’s degree with this kind of writing? Dear God, get a copy editor.

I’m generally not seeking advice.

I should come up with a way to do a giveaway in the Read Death Book Club.

Sometimes the giveaway is the only thing that keeps me going in a KAL.

I really would like to quit the internet entirely. But then I likely will spend the rest of my days an executive assistant. Which really isn’t all that fun.

Something just flew out of my hair.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Whitmer extends the stay at home order AGAIN. Petty Fascist Karen Supreme.

This is actually pretty awesome.

The mailman hates us, but he’s too nice to let it show.

Sorry about this HuffPo link, but this statue is perfection.

“The downstream health effects…are being massively under-estimated and under-reported. This is an order of magnitude error.

READING A BOOK

Wear a mask but only the right kind of mask and not the good mask because those should be reserved for our health care heroes and the only mask you should wear should be the mask that we approve of that’s this kind of mask, not that kind of mask, with a valve without a valve why aren’t you wearing a mask you selfish asshole?

I clearly need to start this Billy Squier album over and turn it up to eleventy.

I can’t believe I did that whole workout with my reading glasses on my head. My posture must really be improving.

I could see myself aligning with some Christian Anarchists. On occasion.

swim. until you can’t see land. swim.

OK. No one showed. Feed full of COVID Karens. I’m done. See ya.  Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow after I defy the extension of the stay at home order to place flags at Ft. Custer, as is tradition.

Never have I wanted a hat more than I want this one.

“This is unprecedented, and we’re in this together,” which is Latin for “We’re not lowering our prices, bitches.”

Did you trademark that shit? #IMWITHHER

Frankly, seems like nominating a PhD WOMAN in the party that just wants people to be able to live their lives in peace is the real progressivism.

Course, that’s not really what progs want, is it?

Wow, this got really long.

It’s not like we get invited to cook outs when there isn’t a stay at home order.

I still want a JEFFSTER! t-shirt.

At least my patio is clean now. Or it was. For a minute. Goddamn chickens. And bats.

Well it sure as hell ain’t the Mothman Prophecies.

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Random Wednesday


I don’t know who to share this with. You’re welcome.

I need a calming pet bed.

What even is this mood?

If you think homeschooling is a threat to children and society, you’re not paying enough attention to what goes on in public schools. Moron. Clearly, Harvard has no actual standards.

“homeschooled children are not instilled with the “skills needed to participate productively in society as adults through employment” and will grow up “alienated from society, ignorant of views and values different from their parents.” Lies lies lies lies lies.

I wonder if she even has children?

Um. A photo of someone else is not a “selfie.” A photo someone else took of you is not a “selfie.”

Pink and brown should not be paired. Ever.

I don’t know why we waited so long to watch The Boys. That was so good.

Random and lockdown don’t really mix. Apparently.

You can’t just stop reading in the middle of a sentence and assume you understand the statement.

Do you even know how to use a computer?

Holy shit my shoulder hurts this morning.

Now I can’t stop listening to Mumford and Sons’ Wilder Mind.

Famous guy pretended to be the super hero he plays in film to entertain other famous guy’s kid for his birthday. WHO. FUCKING. CARES.

All of a sudden I’m drinking iced tea like water again. My teeth are gonna be sooooooooooo stained.

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, but evidently the only cure for it is a can of Pringles and a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper.

I love it when people say “this is not up for debate.” Shut up.

You’re not the boss of me.

And while we’re at it. Stop saying “the new normal.” Stop.

I just really hate that phrase. It’s dumb.

Man. Follow Steve Zahn and Rick Gomez on Instagram. I love them so much.

Oh please. No one is going to shoot you.

Here’s another phrase I’m thoroughly sick of – “flatten the curve.”

Um. How is this laundry basket $130???

Why does Banksy have such a dingy bathroom? I looks like it’s coated in about 25 years worth of nicotine and cooking grease.

Hey, CNN? Hornets don’t “bite.”

I always thought, and have said, that Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer were a weeeeeeird combination. It never worked for me. And now it seems it didn’t work for them.

“Maybe having to actually spend time together did them in.”

I’m not any more interested in a COVID vaccine than I’ve ever been in a flu vaccine.

What happened to Madonna’s face??

What happened to Madonna period? That woman has gone completely round the bend. Yikes.

Sorry this has been so erratic and short and weird lately. There’s not much to talk about. My mind has been nicely quiet. Until today. When I got the email that LAYOFFS ARE COMING.

All the people telling me not to worry are people with guaranteed paychecks.

These women saying “Biden could rape me in the street right now and I’d still vote for him” are disgusting, revolting hypocrites. You should be ashamed to share air with other humans.

It’s like a semi-hiatus.

I really don’t want to get laid off.

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thursday soundtrack – quarantine edition


i am the fly – wire

psycho killer – talking heads

walk on the wild side – lou reed

age of consent – new order

bull in the heather – sonic youth

monkey gone to heaven – the pixies

maps – yeah yeah yeahs

these days – nico

gun street girl – tom waits

the weeping song – nick cave

strangers – the kinks

a hard rain’s a-gonna fall – bob dylan

it’s nothing to me – sanford clark

you gotta move – mississippi fred mcdowell

hold on – alabama shakes

in hell i’ll be in good company – the dead south

wolf totem – the hu

i see a darkness – johnny cash

nothing’s gonna hurt you baby – cigarettes after sex

your ghost – kristin hersh

happy when it rains – jesus and mary chain

this is the day – the the

i wanna be adored – the stone roses

10,000 weight in gold – the head and the heart

san luis – gregory alan isakov

waiting around to die – townes van zandt

dublin blues – steve earl

fuck all the perfect people – chip taylor and the new ukrainians

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Random Wednesday

I think it’s hysterical that all the progs in MI want to pretend like Whitmer didn’t pick this fight with Trump. She’s been going on national television for months poking him with a stick. Now that he’s poking back, she’s gonna pretend like she’s the martyr? She might be a worse governor than Granholm was.

And this stimulus. Jesus. I haven’t seen an idea this bad since Obama was in office.

Don’t think I’m not a tiny bit bitter about growing my gray out before the lockdown when people would have been way less judgmental about my roots.

Look, cut it out. Nobody knows WTF Missy Elliott was even talking about.

insufferable.

I need to make a grocery run. Pray for my soul or something.

Am I the only one who sees the irony in the SERF acronym? Yeah? It’s just me?

I want a secret decoder ring so I can be in on it too.

In this time of economic uncertainty and chaos, go spend money supporting small business.

What money, I ask you? What money?

Great. Now the rest of the Supernatural series end is on hold. Awesome.

Massie is at least a voice of reason.

“Biden says Michigan’s Gov. Whitmer is on vice president list.” You can have her Joe. Forever. Both of you can ride off into the sunset of obscurity as far as I’m concerned. You deserve each other. You’re equally horrible people.

Are we sure Adam Schiff isn’t a non-essential worker?

Probably I should get out of this house and adjust my attitude.

I left the house and never came back to this post. Sorrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy!

I find it bizarrely fascinating that Jim Jones and John Wayne Gacey both had close contact with Rosalyn Carter. Not her fault, she didn’t know they were who they were. But still.

You’re such a fucking child.

Who keeps putting all these childish brats in leadership positions?

Why is this Quest bar so hard?

I think it might be time to throw these socks out.

I can’t stop listening to this album.

I’m glad we’re a household full of hankies.

I should make more hankies.

A cult leader by any other name …

I forgot what I was going to say.

The thought of a virus having agency without conscious thought is alarming. Is it less alarming than a virus having agency with conscious thought?

Totally unrelated to COVID-19, just happened to read something about viruses and agency. Written long before this pandemic. Just one of those strange moments of serendipity, perhaps. I’ve had a few of those recently.

Tales from the Loop is too sad to watch during this lockdown. It’s very good, but it’s much too sad. I could have cried for hours after episode two. It broke my heart.

I am not up for this.

Guess I’ll do it anyway.

And suddenly the whole world wished they’d not killed off home ec classes everywhere.

I miss my mom.

WHITMER. FOAD.

You know what I need more of? People getting on social media to screech at me to stay home. How about you just STFU and worry about yourself.

Isn’t the right to peaceably assemble in say, your favorite bar, protected under the First Amendment? And yet, here we are.

Even Bill Maher agrees with me.

Honestly, spelling my name is not that hard. It just isn’t.

I feel like when I sat down to write this paper I flipped some previously unidentified switch in my brain that, evidently, puts me in manic mode and now I’ve spewed all this weird vaguely jointed strangeness that doesn’t overtly answer the question, but doesn’t not answer the question either. I have to clean this mess up. Fuck.

I contend that it is entirely possible to be simultaneously appalled at the treatment of the big cats, believe that Carole Baskin is a straight up murdering bitch (not a victim), think that every single person in that docu-series is  either nuts, just trying to make a living, or a garbage human being, and be thoroughly entertained at the sheer insanity of the entire tale. But. Go ahead and judge me.

I’ve been nursing this cup of coffee for 4 hours. It is now ice cold.

I give up. I need a nap.

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Random Wednesday


“Stop shooting each other. We need the hospital beds.”

There’s nothing racist about calling a virus that originated in China a Chinese virus. It could just as well have originated in any other country. America, for instance. Oh look, it’s an American virus! How about if you just stop. Stop kissing the Chinese government’s ass. They’re communist thugs. They’ve been communist thugs for decades. Stop.

You’re not the bleep in bleeping, so just bleeeeep.

There’s a very real possibility that I’m rather irritable today.

Here’s a thing that’s not helpful: lecturing or guilt tripping people about leaving their homes when they don’t have the option to work from home. Fuck off. Believe it or not, most of us are doing the best that we can.

I do miss being skinny. I do.

This virus is going to ruin my VIP Nick Cave experience in September, isn’t it?

dooooooooooooooooooom

I really just can’t think of a single good reason not to order a plague doctor mask.

GOD DAMMIT

Jesus these fucking people. The drug has been used to effectively treat malaria every day for more than 50 years. But Trump says run with it and suddenly OMG IT’S GOING TO KILL US ALL! You should seek professional help for that TDS. You’re unfuckinghinged.

And just like that, I’m ordered to work from home.

They should be paying my phone and internet bill for the next five weeks.

ha ha ha that’ll be the day.

See? I told you it’s not possible to access the shared drive from here.

Oh there it is.

Dear God. Why would you ever eat that??

The Association of Electricizers.

For all the work Democrats did to prevent Bernie from getting the nomination, they sure did a handy job of turning this country into a fascist socialist hell over the last few weeks.

Why are more of you not outraged, terrified, and livid at the blatant violation of constitutional freedoms happening right now?

Driving over to the forest is essential. I’m leaving my house to go to the forest. Or I will lose my fucking mind.

I may not need people, but I need some zen.

Hey. Maybe I’ll finally get skinny again.

Yeah, I know. I’m laughing too.

I never thought I’d be this desperate for an ergonomic office chair in my house. Jaysus.

Who the hell is Florence Pugh?

“Influencer” should not be a thing.

It’s not Trump’s fault you’re stupid enough to consume fish tank cleaner.

I may or may not have decided day 4 is a good day to stop wearing a bra.

The Hu may be the only thing that gets me through this fascist nightmare.

There’s a reason we don’t keep Rice Krispies treats in the house.

I get to sleep in tomorrow.

Sometimes I miss my dyed hair, but not often.

I’m reasonably certain a 32oz gas station Diet Mtn. Dew is essential to my survival.

Prodigal Son could be a good show. It could. The premise is fantastic. I love it. Right up my alley. Michael Sheen, despite his taste in women, is fucking brilliant as a narcissistic predatory psychopath. Yes. It could be a very good show, even despite it’s nightmarishly trope heavy weekly plot lines. It could. But it isn’t. Because every single person on that show (excepting Lou Diamond Phillips and Michael Sheen) are such terrible actors it’s actually kind of like being punished to watch them. They’re positively cartoonish. Especially the prodigal son himself.

The new John Douglas audio book is read by the dude that plays the character based on John Douglas in Mindhunter, and it’s kind of perfect.

OK, audio books and the Hu are getting me through the work remotely bizarro land I find myself plopped down in.

Give me back my 40 hours, dammit.

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Random Wednesday

There’s this song from the mid-ish 90s that is swimming around in the back of my head and I can almost hear it, but not quite and I can picture the artist who wrote it and I really liked it and want to listen to it now, BUT I CAN’T REMEMBER THE NAME OF IT OR THE ARTIST AND IT HAS BEEN DRIVING ME NUTS FOR FUCKING DAYS.

Yeah. I deleted some shit. So what?

ILU Swiss cheese.

Hanksies.

This whole office is going to end up under goddamn quarantine.

Bats will kill us all, and you never suspected it. … Maybe that’s why I love bats so much. Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Nobody cares what Chris Evans thinks.

God I hate chickpeas.

And just like that, the 2nd Amendment was popular again.

“The cops will make sure your restaurant is closed, but if someone is stealing your car we can’t break quarantine.”

The Ocean of Margaret

Man I love indices.

I do not belong here.

Is it Wednesday? Jesus. What the hell day even is it right now?

Government shuts down your business to stop spread of COVID-19, crippling you. Government says gosh, you’ve been hit so hard by this virus! Let’s just give you a loan to see you through it! Suddenly you’re indebted to the government just to keep from going under. Government = Mafia. This shit is serious.

This is pretty much me. Except I walk right into conflict. All the time. Sucks.

If you need me, I’ll just be over here.

There is nothing happening. At all. Campus is a ghost town. The biggest thing going on right now is my recent perpetual migraine.

The smell of hand sanitizer makes my head hurt. You can imagine how much fun my life is right now.

OMG I REMEMBER THE SONG

I accidentally clicked on a link to a story about Tik Tok censorship. I don’t even care about it. I don’t use it.

No no no no no. Alumna is the female.

Why do you people need all the goddamn dishwasher detergent? Come on!

corvid

I definitely need a pet raven. Or crow. I hear ravens are vicious.

A lot of drive through windows will take walk ups, dude. Also most restaurants will let you walk in, they just won’t let you stay to eat.

Did I already say the dystopia thing? Probably. Last week.

This is the worst my head has been in a long time, actually. It just isn’t going away. And god forbid I should be allowed to take real pain medication for it. WAR ON DRUGS.

I’m doing a lot of all caps lately. I feel like I should apologize, but I probably won’t.

Yeah. This is pretty much what my thoughts have looked like for a while now.

I don’t really give a shit what Chrissy Teigan is doing right now.

I’ll post this tomorrow.

Eh. Maybe today. I don’t know. This blog is so boring. It’s nothing but Random Wednesday after Random Wednesday now. I don’t even have time to talk about the books I don’t have time to finish.

Or the books I lost interest in finishing.

No, the government should absolutely not give every household $1,000 a month until this crisis has passed. STOP IT.

STOPPIT.

I just remembered I have Meijer cupcakes at home. YES!

The Republic of Heaven

Heaven is a meritocracy.

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Random Wednesday

I’m not taking any chances with you people.

Just kidding, they made me wear this at the walk in clinic when I went in with bronchitis in December. Seemed appropriate for the current climate. ha ha ha.

I miss my hair.

I’m not wearing a necklace today and I feel naked.

I honestly was like “Wait. I know I suck at math, but. Wait. No. No, that’s very wrong.

Although why anyone is surprised by anything Brian Williams says …

Can you believe I’ve never seen a single Bloomberg ad? Neither can I. But it’s true.

I haven’t managed to accomplish a gotdamn thing today, and I’m not even sure I care.

Dammit. Now I need to squeeze in a big ass batch of bee balm.

I don’t have a laundry chair, I have a floordrobe.

Why does Amazon keep taking that book out of my cart and putting it in “save for later”?

Man. I’d love it if we closed in pandemic panic. Work from home for weeks? Sign me up, bitches.

Buy some cinnamon people!

I’m almost as sick of the virus as I am of the election.

I keep reading that as ectoplasty.

I don’t really care about your Coney Dogs.

I always thought Dr. Drew was rather an attractive man.

Introvert – check. Natural over-producer of Vitamin D – check. Chickens, I’m golden.

I used to urge people to vote. Now I urge people not to vote. Look what you’ve done to us with your voting. Biden is in my state yelling at people FFS. Enough of this foolishness.

Gah. Generations at work. Why do I feel like this is going to be a bunch of people telling me I’m doing it wrong because I’m old?

But what does she eat?

Yet another chaotic Wednesday leads to forgetting to post on Wednesday. May as well add to it I guess.

I have to say. I feel like we’re finally reaching the dystopian future I always expected to be living in.

How does that prove hands exist? It doesn’t.

I guess I didn’t add much at all. OH WELL. Blame it on COVID-19, bitches.

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