nobody here but us chickens

Random Wednesday

wm2671Sheesh. In all the years I have worked at this university, I choose the 37 degree, blustery, snowy late April today to forget my ID and have to wait on public safety to come let me into my building and office. I have too much on this plate right now.

I dreamt I was talking to these two women who kept calling Indiana, Indian Anna. Indian Anna. Indiana will forever be Indian Anna to me now.

Yep. All of this.

Aw! This made me get a little teary.

“Irregular Warfare” would be a good book title. Or band name.

Ha! “Make up your mind bowl!” Anthropologie is ridiculous. Straight up.

“I shot for the moon and my arrow went straight down to hell. But at least I tried!”

I think the internet is tired of me. I’m tired of me.

Nice piece from Reason on Sabo.

I dunno, Miss W. I think I’ve reached that stage of parenting where I just don’t get your music.

Wait. What? I didn’t leave it at home. It’s sitting here on my damn desk. Such a dumb ass. Plate. Overfloweth.

Wow. I do not even know how to respond to this nonsense.

I thought that said “organic casino.”

I wake up in the morning and think “I’m going to be positive about this day and not complain and just be me minus complaining and smile and be polite and just push through this day.” And the universe laughs and laughs and laughs and sucker punches me and then kicks me in the teeth. And I think “How is it any wonder that I am not a positive person? Look. Look at all. This. Shit.”

Office phrases that need to be summarily executed: redacted in case of Google

I don’t even know. It was there when I woke up.

I’ll take Tawny Kitean’s hair though. Although really, I’d prefer Mary Louise Parker’s hair. If I have a choice.

OFFS. Now. I will tell you that my life would be exponentially easier if I were an extrovert. That is a simple fact. But I don’t go around whining about it. I deal with it. I put my fake “greeting the public” smile on my face. I add ridiculous exclamation points to professional emails that should never ever need exclamation points to over compensate because otherwise I’m accused of being curt. But social privilege? Get out of my introvert club, ya jackasses.

Also? Most of the things on that list are total BS. I mean TOTAL. Take your victimhood drama elsewhere, bitches.

Have I not given you that advice? he asked. Of course you have, of course.

People just make me tired and sad. That wouldn’t happen if I weren’t a closet optimist.

I’m totally OK living a life of tea stained counter tops and hand me downs.

Yeah, I’ve been conflicted about Rand periodically. But. I’m still thinking he’s the way to go. Now I just need a t shirt … Someone tell him to send me one, I’ll be his rep on this ridiculous campus.

Well that wasn’t helpful at all.

I know I’m forgetting something. I know it. Like everything about the budget process, but not that.

Yep. If I yell at you about your trigger finger, don’t take it personally. Just listen.

Don’t look up to me, I’m drowning.

I feel ya, Stormageddon.

Stupid useless Canadian quarter!

“We would call ourselves the Resistance.”

Um. Yeah. Calling myself was not at all what I meant to do.

I am tempted but no. I think I’m going to need to do absolutely nothing at all that day.

I really should not have eaten that cookie.

Now I need a therapy cupcake.

Terrycloth and terry cloth are both correct.

Stop. Snowing.

Ugh. I hate telling the students I’m not hiring that I’m not hiring them. It makes me sad.

My People Who Need Shawls Knitted For Them list is growing.

Shut up, stomach. You’re not hungry.

But for now, I have to unknit this row. Woe.

Random Wednesday – Citrus Edition

What’s the fun in self knitting needles?

A video posted by @jentober on

I do not know what the hell is wrong with my eye, but I’d really like it to fix itself right freaking now.

Florida. I don’t know about you.

“Dear Jennifer, Happy Birthday?”

“I thought you said ‘I’m up to a stick with this day’, and I thought, ‘Well, that’s a weird thing to say.'”

I think if I were them, it would be years before I performed this song again. I love the set list. This is also one of my all time favorite the National songs.

I think that Rolling Stone interview with Francis Bean was pretty disappointing. Of course, it was Rolling Stone so …

Oh my GOD. I completely forgot about Brian Jonestown Massacre. There’s one album that completely killed me, and now I don’t even remember which one it was.

Gah. Fuggit.

Protein. protein protein protein protein protein. Protein.

I really should have gotten more knitting done by now. I can’t even get a text book chapter finished. I frustrate myself so much.

I should have brought a sun hat. Of course I forgot my toothbrush, so how I’d remember a sun hat is beyond me.

How does one spot on one side of my neck get sun burn??

Disaster. Complete and total disaster.

That was a nice walk, but Good Lord, this place is hot.

I don’t know. This is a pretty lame Random.

I’m never going to catch up on all this reading for class. I’m going to bomb both of my finals. And then I will cry.

I utterly forgot what day it was for several hours.

There is nothing quite as disgusting as a peanut butter sandwich square that’s been chewed on and spit out by a toddler. Revolt-o-rama.

I think I am going to have to take something for this headache.

I am an asshole more often than I’d like to be. Certainly more often than I realize.

Burn the witch indeed.


I probably ought to go find out what that baby is doing …

Oh man. I’m so bad with people. Extra bad with new people.

I just.

I think it’ll be cold when we get home. It’ll be a shock. And I won’t have Florida Hair any more.

Whoo boy. That is some kinda stink.

He’s out there getting filthy again, I can tell.

I don’t know. This will be the 4th Laylow shawl in a row. But it’s such a great gift shawl. And I don’t have to think about it too carefully while I knit it. After this semester is over I’m going to test out my design idea.

I’m really loving this Lion Brand Heartland too. It’s so soft. It makes such a nice fabric. I’m enjoying exploring different color combinations too. You know. Beyond black and gray.

Maybe a spider bit me. Maybe it was radioactive. I don’t wanna be Spider-Girl. Woman. Whatever.

Why is Spider-Man hyphenated?

I don’t know why y’all are so outraged about Tim McGraw. He’s never kept his anti gunner ideals a secret.

I have to keep reminding myself.

Hey! Interest groups! Good times!

I think someone needs to give in to the tired and sleeeeeeeeep.

No, it isn’t me.

Although …

I just realized I haven’t had a single orange since I’ve been here. Seems like that’s the kind of thing one ought to do.

I’ve never been to Chipotle. You can tip there? I thought they were like Qdoba. You don’t tip at Qdoba. It’s basically fast food. What a stupid thing to be upset about.

owowowowowowowowow ow. ow. Dammit. OW. Also ew.

I hope I didn’t just make that worse. I guess we’ll find out.

I’m not the best person for this job.

Random Wednesday

wm2987I am totally unprepared for this trip.

If you want to do some crowdfunding for a project or trip or some cause near and dear to your black little heart, more power to you. But make a public post on your page, don’t private message me with your grammatically appalling plea for cash. It’s annoying, and a good way to get yourself unfriended.

Why does it smell like bologna in here?

The word “so” is replacing the word “like” in annoying verbal whatdoyoucallems.

Yes, I would say this is an accurate description of me.

Apparently being a sarcastibitch is a prerequisite for working at the Secretary of State’s office.

I have to make knitting plans for this trip. I’m feeling panicky.

Wait. Mad Men is still on?

“Jen, you look like a really cute forest today.”

Nipple piercings are scandalous? What is this, 1990?

I have to stop looking at the Jane emails. There’s too much stuff that I want and can’t buy right now.

I don’t even know what that means.

What an unbelievably busy week.

Like they wouldn’t find him guilty on all counts.

Man. Wednesday rolls around every week, and every week when it does I think, man. I really need to shave my legs.

I wish I had some chips and salsa right now. That sounds good.

I don’t know why, but this made me kind of sad.

“They thought all along that they could call me a libertarian and hang that label around my neck like an albatross,” Rand Paul said in 2010 during his Republican primary campaign for U.S. Senate, “but I’m not a libertarian.”

“Way I remember it, albatross was a ship’s good luck, ’til some idiot killed it. ” ~Captain Malcolm Reynolds

Sweet dreams, then.

If not now …

I haven’t had time to read this yet, but I want to. So there it is.

I do not have enough time.

You’re just a giant disappointment, chiquita.

you know it, baby

OK, so not getting any homework done tonight either.

I wish more than a lot of things that I could read in the car without getting horribly sick.

I have too much to do.

It’s a good shirt. I can’t believe it didn’t sell.

70 and thunderstorms. Hard to dress for that when you have to walk across campus and back twice. Better figure that out, I guess.

Oh! Oh oh oh! I have an idea for a shawl design! Yeaaah.

I don’t even understand how those women can keep their houses so clean. It’s astonishing.

Oh now it’s supposed to be severe weather. This should be fun. Maybe I’ll rethink those shoes.

I’m throwing my hands up along with the towel, which is in. Throw down. Throw up. Throw it.

“I just realized something horrible. I ate the last waffles today! Noooooooooooooooooo! Mom, when you go to work, can you pick up some waffles?”

I need sleep. Like days and days of sleep. Sleeeeeep.

I live my life like there’s no tomorrow.


A video posted by @jentober on

Random Wednesday

wm 2379That is some seriously bad news. Like bad bad. Damn.

Head exodus.

I’m sorry. I laughed.

This is so beautiful.

OK. I’d totally live here. Even though it is Delton.

Ha. Yes. Only without the actual talking. I’ll just wave and nod. From waaaaaaay over here.

I hate the Internet on April Fool’s Day.

“‘Avoiding surprises’ is a goal not always achieved. For example, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner encountered unexpected tax problems that delayed his eventual confirmation.” Unexpected tax problems. Unexpected. The man didn’t pay his taxes. In what way are the problems arising from that situation “unexpected“?

This is so cool. Anyone have a bunch of spare silk scarves lying around they don’t want any more? This is like a rich lady craft or something. ha ha

I’m so glad I have another cold a week after I got over my last one.

“Each moment is a place you’ve never been.” I like that even though it makes me feel sort of melancholy.

Wait. What? You’re making me do what?

“I feel you, Drake. We are the same. We have the same problems in a very different way.”

I don’t know who is wearing that God awful flowery perfume, but it is not helping my brain pain. Dear Lord. It’s so strong I can taste it.

Oh my gosh! I just won the gorgeous handspun skein in that knit along! My first knit along ever. My first time ever winning a knitting prize! I’m so excited! I can’t even tell you how much this brightened my day. You can see my finished Sloane Shawl on my Ravelry page.

CMS, it wouldn’t hurt you to be a little more like WordPress.

Wow, I totally forgot it was Wednesday for about an hour and a half there.

I’m pretty sure time just stopped altogether today.

I just accidentally used specifically and exactly in the same sentence by mistake.

I need those Clockwork Orange eye opener thingies.


I’ve listened to this stupid interview three times trying to catch the quote this article references and keep missing it. And it is just not that interesting. Stupid term paper.

“To Katie Roiphe, feminism had always meant freedom- but as an undergraduate at Harvard and a graduate student at Princeton, she was shocked to discover that the same movement that had once promised women a voice was now being used to tell them what they ought to say and think and feel.” YES. This is exactly the truth. This so perfectly describes my experience with feminism. Minus the shock. I wasn’t so much shocked as pissed off. I wish they’d bring Katie Roiphe to campus to speak in this series. Of course that will never ever happen.

My feelings about today are totally schizophrenic. I only got 3 hours of sleep, I’m sick, my head hurts. It’s a beautiful day and I won 480ish yards of beautiful handspun yarn. It’s hopeless.

I’ll be paralyzed with indecision about how to use the yarn too. sigh.

Noooo! You engaged! She’ll never leave now! She won’t be able to stop talking!

I’m fairly certain I’ve used that photo before.

Um, no. I’m pretty sure that’s not a legit volunteer gig.

cranky cranky cranky cranky cranky

“Those poor innocent cheaters!”

discord dischord discord dischord

Maybe I’ll just design my own shawl for that fancy yarn. Hmmmmmmm

Aww! Love. love love love

I wish I had an Instax mini and some film to play with.

That doesn’t make it true.

Blowing off studying for an hour to camp out on the floor playing with the Tiny Time Lord tipped this day squarely over to the wonderful side.

Yeahhhhhh this is that level of tired where your head is swimmy. Wheeeeee!

That’s what children are for—that their parents may not be bored.

wm2157 wm2268~Ivan Turgenev

Random Wednesday

wm2125Dammit, Jim.

rain rain rain rain rain rain rain Man, I’ve missed rain.


You are: Batman “You are an exceptionally intelligent, driven and disciplined person with clear goals to make the world safer and better and the passion to make those goals a reality. You are observant, adaptable and focused with a deep sense of personal justice. Though introverted and perhaps socially awkward, you are deeply loyal to a few close friends and are selfless in your defense of people. Some consider your black and white views on morality a weakness, but it allows you to make clear cut decisions that protect you and the ones you love. While many consider you an extreme activist, they have a profound respect for your passion and want to share in your causes.” … Duh. Who else would I be??

inefficient and meddlesome … arrogant and arbitrary

I think I just got a cramp in my jazz hands …

I almost always hate the way these homes are decorated. Of course, if I could afford a million dollar home, I could afford to redecorate.

Seriously. Why does this town always smell so awful?

ZOMG! Yes please thank you!!!

Of course. It could suck. Like 24. I mean really. Did anyone buy that whole Sheila is a Punk Rocker bit with Chloe?

While I do still love David Duchovny, my love is a dim shadow of what it once was.

This whole office is one great big annoying black cloud of grrrrr.

Awww. I remember their video from 2012. I cried. Of course.

Hair hate is strong today. So strong.

Ha. I just remembered painting my nails with White Out.

I don’t care what you wear. Just look presentable. It’s not that complicated.

O.M.Effing.G. Enough already. ENOUGH.

Maybe that is not the best use of your time. I don’t know.

Shut up. I can eat this cookie before lunch if I want to.

Ha. That is not relaxing. I think it actually made me more tense.

Maybe you have narcolepsy. Or chronic fatigue. Or maybe I am not a doctor but I could totally play one on TV.

I probably need a second job.

deliberate and deliberate step by step process? I do not even understand my own notes sometimes. What the hell was I talking about?

This might be a good one to knit on the way to Florida.

I just don’t really care what Dumbledore’s sexual orientation is. Or was. Whatever. It’s wholly irrelevant to the story.

What’s with all the essential oil madness with people lately?

Right up there with the clothing labels. People are so easily offended today that it’s kind of tragic. You don’t like their advertising? Don’t purchase their products or services. Move on. Stop protesting and give your time to a charitable organization. Do something useful. Post a Facebook rant about the lame billboard and spend a few hours at your local food pantry or women’s shelter. No one cares if you can buy your own kitchen but you.

What? Why is the Office for Sustainability following me on Instagram?

You know what, lady? Being a mother is a 24 hour deal. But it’s not a job. It’s your life. It’s the life you chose to create with your husband. But here, you’ve managed to make this whole gig entirely about you. I hate to break it to you, but you’re only 1/5 of that equation. Just like I’m only 1/4 of mine. I work full time, I go to school. I am exhausted. I am chronically underslept, as my husband puts it. But it has never once been a choice between my husband and my children. You make things work as a whole, or you don’t. You? You’re kind of a selfish, horrible person, and when your youngest goes off to college, I think you’ll be pretty damn unbelievably lucky to look up and find your husband still standing there.

Huh. Maybe I’m a little wordy today.

You still have time to grab your Trigger Warning t shirt. So get on that.

“get your paparazzi ass off my goddamn estate”

Everybody’s a meteorologist when there’s a hurricane. Except me. I’m still just a smart ass. I’VE SAID THAT BEFORE!

“Another question is whether the Army will give Sergeant Bergdahl an honorable discharge if he is found guilty of desertion.” Um. In what universe is that a question, New York Times?

Seeds! Look at all these beautiful seeds!!

Aw! She sent me a thank you email for interviewing her! Bonus points! What a sweetie.

Seems like a fundraiser to restore the Gibson stack would have been the way to go. But what do I know about “hallowed ground”? Maybe they did try to raise money for it.

I want one of these shirts.

The Pretty Woman musical? Are you serious?

That woman is a lunatic. I do not want her representing me on this campus.

I did not realize the extent of “soccer mom” in her wardrobe. I am rather surprised.

I will never love Ska. Gah.

I want to get married again so I can have a country wedding.

Of course there wouldn’t be anyone in attendance …

I am so tired of winter. I need spring.

I wish I was a nicer person.

Why does everything have to be some brave act of defiance or some kind of calling your sisters to arms? Why can’t a bikini ever just be a bikini. You know what your message of “I’ve had 3 babies and I have a saggy belly button and I wear a bikini” says to me? You feel like you need to defend the fact that you’re wearing a bikini. Just wear the bikini. Just. Wear. The. Bikini.

See? I can’t just say “Oh that’s nice. Rock on, whichya bad self, lady.” I can’t just be nicer.

I just get annoyed.

I’m blaming this on my Constitutional Law exam tomorrow morning. It’s making me tense and cranky.


you ever love someone so much you thought your little heart was gonna break in two?


A video posted by @jentober on

Random Wednesday

wm3330It seems profoundly unfair that I have this cold.

Honestly. I never go to Starbucks anyway because reasons. But this nonsense is just one more for the list.

Can I have the 70 degrees back now please? Please?

I hate to ask. I hate to ask. I hate to ask.

Oh. Right. It’s back to normal meeting routine. Whee.

This would be so rad for the kids.

I really thought that said “Pass With Carl” for a minute. But no, just your standard “Pass With Care”. Poor Carl. He’ll be so disappointed.

I wonder what they’ll do for Michigan.

I cried. I’m not even gonna lie.

Kowtowing is such a weird word.

“Dammit. My antidepressant is stuck in my throat.”
“That has to be a metaphor or something.”

We found the Abdominal Snowman.

Honestly, how did this even happen?

“Deer frequently travel in groups. Do not rely on gimmicks.”

You know I totally love this.

“There’s always that moment when things hang in the balance. That’s where you are.”

I love this almost as much as Drunk J. Crew.

I am almost taking comfort in the fact that I have yet another dentist appointment today, and thus, am leaving early.

I really hate my hair right now. I do. I hate it.

Do you think a song like this would ever be released in today’s fascist PC world? I don’t.

Aw. You can’t open the windows? … You are ridiculous. That is the only word that accurately describes you. Ridiculous.

I think this lady and I would have gotten along very well.

I’m going to be drowning in political theory.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my time, but a conduit for God to pour His love over His people is not one of them …


The pool was weak.

Ireland? How can I get on that trip??

“She has strong customer cervix experience.”

No, really, why am I in this meeting?

Don’t drink that racist coffee.

do you remember

Thank you very much.

Gwyneth Paltrow. You nutball. You’re hi-larious.

I hate it when it goes down the wrong pipe. That sounded way wronger than I wanted it to.


Wait, what are we paying you for again?

Holy shit. That is the last thing in the world I would ever have expected. Congratulations to them.

Also, she’s only 3 months along?

This is appalling.

I came home and got the curling iron out. I hate my hair much less.


Now you’re all sucked into old pro wrestling videos.

“Aaah nothin’. You wanna know what happens when nothing is happening? When nothing is happening, everything is happening. You know those moments when nothing is happening? Those are the exact moments when everything is happening! Oooooh spooky!”
“Are you on drugs?”

Except for Number 9. If I don’t like you, you probably know it. Also you can make a quiet fuss out of my birthday. I like prezzies as much as the next gal.

I need to go bind off this shawl. Night y’all.

Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.

wm1926 wm1930(Oscar Wilde)

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