nobody here but us chickens

Random Wednesday

wm 5494OFFS What oppression???

Boy, Allison and Joe sure do fight a lot.

Wait. Am I missing it? There’s no search function on the Photojojo site? That can’t be right, can it?

It’s almost caramel apple cider season!!!!

Goats are evil man.

I live in a Reply All hell.

“How can I be more Pacific when I’m so Atlantic?”

That chick was not stranded on a desert island to be rescued by Google Earth, y’all.

This is just the neatest thing.

I’m feeling rather lonely at this moment. Maybe I’ll just backspace that.

All my pants are either too big or too small. This is incredibly frustrating.

Ducky dis. Will
That was supposed to say
Fuck yes I will

The dangers of a touch pad keyboard and a brisk walk.

Now I have the Cure stuck in my head. Yay.

you’re my favorite flavor

time time time

I have Laura Ingalls Wilder hair today.

I always type “certainyl” first and have to fix it.

Wow, I really can’t believe how busy I’ve been today.

The Steve plan needs to happen. Definitely.

And just like that, it’s 4:00. I don’t even know how this happened. What a ridiculous day.

la la la la la


I need to get it together. Together, man! Together!

I’m never smug. Please.

It’s easier to get fat than it is to get unfat. I’m just pointing that out.

He wasn’t trying to rip her hair off. He was trying to rip her head off.

That just makes me feel lonely.

I’m sorry, but a few of these books/series are spectacularly awful. And as much as I loved The Mists of Avalon, I will never be able to read Marion Zimmer Bradley again.

He’s so classy. Wow.

I’m serious about the German Shepherd.

Books are not for ripping to bits.

Big nope candy mountain.

You have not answered my question, sir!

boom. pow. zap.

Wait. What? No.

I’m sort of dreading this class.

Oh. I think I might be dreading this semester.

I think I might dread every semester.

I have to finish my thesis. I have to finish my thesis. I have to finish my thesis.

I may wear my hair like this until the end of my days.

I kind of like this. I can see me wearing it.

How am I hungry?

Wow. I just remembered Dada.

A little bit maybe.

Random Wednesday

wm5462no sleep no sleep no sleep no sleep no sleep

I don’t actually care about this crap. Stop forcing the issue.

The Health and Human Services building smells really good. Why can’t they make my building smell like that? My building smells like fish. It’s disgusting.



It’s a blanket apology.

I don’t want to read my own paper. I never want to read my own papers.

Holy shit. That IS Rick Springfield!

I just don’t understand where all this alleged “period shaming” is happening.

My brain is awful quiet today. Weird.

Everyone here starts all their sentences with “so”. I’ve noted this before. But it’s getting worse. Every sentence. Even in emails. It’s bizarre.

Why is it always Morley cigarettes?

Gah. I keep thinking it’s Friday. But it’s not. It’s Wednesday. And tomorrow isn’t even Friday. Tomorrow is Thursday. And tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. Dammit.

ick ick ick ick icky ick

I think it wants to rain. We need more rain. The leaves are starting to fall too early.

I can’t really watch these videos. But you should read Kira’s article. Particularly the quote about the brain.

Just give me all the babies.

Hmmmmm I hope this works out the way I hope it’s going to. I think it’s going to be very pretty.

I have no idea what to have for dinner. But I’m pretty sure I don’t want pizza.

Yes, you heard correctly.

i ain’t the girl that lives next door

All the babies. All of them.

I sure did like it better when I didn’t know so much and so little about all of everyone.

I forgot I was going to make shortbread.

I wish I could sing.

I wish my hair would grow faster.

I wish lots of things.

That’s one easily verifiably outright false post too many for me today, Facebook. Y’all make me so tired.

You’re all for defunding this stuff until something you care about is facing a big hit. Then you’re all “whoa there! Back the truck up!” That’s not hypocritical or anything. Nope.

It looks like maybe it decided it did not want to rain after all. The weather is taunting me. Harlot.

Still Life, With Cats

I do not have the energy for you right now.

The wise course would be to not take on another project until this time next year, when I’m completely done with school.

The wise course.

You’re using up the whole internet!

I think I fell asleep for a while there …

How did I get sucked into that vortex? Sheesh.

I didn’t even check this for typos.

I need to catch up on the Blacklist.

Random Wednesday

wm photo 3(1) smallNo Costume, No Candy just popped into my head. I must be ready for October.

I really don’t understand Snapchat.

Heater in the morning, air conditioning in the afternoon. Must be August in Michigan.

I need a dog. We need a dog. The Compound needs a dog.


You want $15 an hour for your drive through job but when I ask you not to put sugar in my iced coffee you give me twice the sugar. When I ask you not to put mayonnaise on my chicken, you put mayonnaise on my chicken. When I ask you for ketchup only, you give me all the toppings. Hell, every so often you straight up leave half my order out of the bag entirely. Right. I can see how you clearly deserve $15 an hour.


OMG the comments. This seriously cracked me up. And of course she then had to explain the joke. So sad.

Disaster hair.

OMG I’m so old.

Oh, I get it now. Kevin Carson is just a Marxist.

I actually made a conscious effort to stop using the possessive s when referring to Meijer after working there. I can’t remember why.

I think that when they reset the air conditioning in this place Monday, they made it even colder. Tiny space heater, I love you so.

Oh my God. “… anything is a toy to a baby—a pillow, a t-shirt, a plastic cup, a spoon, a newspaper, your keys, a vacuum-sealed pound of weed, 3K in large bills, anything. ” I am seriously loving this column.

Ooooh! I want it!!!

“A glass of red wine can keep your brain 7.5 years sharper.” Maybe. A glass of red wine can also trigger a full on migraine so bad you literally can’t see out of one eye and you spend the rest of the evening in the dark bathroom so you can vomit from the agony. Guess I’ll stay dull.

All of the things I would like to say to you, but am not allowed.

I should make a batch of short bread.

I should include a batch of short bread with every shawl.

No, I shouldn’t. That’s ridiculous.

Every time I type the name Dave I accidentally type Fave first and have to fix it.

I need to get this paper done and move on with my life, yo.

It’s possible there are tiny tiny men inside my skull trying to tunnel their way out through my forehead. Possibly.

Investigate the disappearance of a better life.

I will never be able to listen to the original again. It’s like a completely different, completely beautiful song.

I’m branching out and including pretty knit scarves for People Who Need Shawls Knitted for Them. People Who Need Shawls and Scarves Knitted for Them. Not like winter scarves. Fancy scarves.

Tiny tiny eggplant.

My truck is fixed! My truck is fixed! My truck is fixed!

That shawl in the new Vogue Knitting with the wings? That is super cool. I might just need to learn double knitting now.

I can’t believe I ate that whole thing. I must have been very hungry.

Why are frogs so happy?

I mean. I guess morally. If it’s the only way to survive. And that person was pretty much going to die anyway. I don’t know.

Goodbye Outlaw Country. I’m going to miss you.

Ha. She said “unthaw”. I wonder if she’s from Michigan.

Vexed is a very good word.

Hmm. Remora doesn’t seem like the kind of thing I would Facebook like, really.

Clap your hands!


I wonder if it would make any difference.

Wow. That lady looks exactly like that other lady.

tinker tinker

I don’t think I knew that existed.

Random Wednesday

wm5179It’s one of those things where you really don’t want to be Facebook friends with the people you work with, but you feel like you have to be friends with them and then they post all the everything that is the exact opposite of what you live your life by. Yeah.

Although after catching that pro gun control post by both the dean and the ass. dean this morning, I’m extra glad I wore my Well Armed Woman hoodie to work today.

These are so beautiful!

I don’t care how much that hag pays for a haircut as long as I’m not funding it.

I don’t want to love this because Amanda Palmer. But I do. Because Neil Gaiman.

How is that even necessary? It’s like a super annoying nervous tic or something.

How does Geography get slotted in the Social and Behavioral Sciences?

Whelp. I guess that’s what I get for trying to be a good Bronco.

I’m feeling very unappreciated this week.

squish squish squish squish ow

OMG! I had no idea these Chucks even existed!! Stormageddon is clearly going to be needing one or two pairs, thank you very much.But not til he’s bigger.

I don’t care who it is, I think it’s pretty assy to share the personal phone number or home address of anyone in the public eye.

I just took the “Which Sci-Fi Hero Are You” quiz. I’ll give you 3 guesses as to who I got and the first two don’t count.

This yarn is so fuzzy!

What the hell is going on with your hair, lady?

I just find it absolutely astonishing that anyone actually takes Donald Trump seriously.

Well. Those choices mostly just seem … odd.

Oh Facebook. You make me so tired.

Now I need to think up a cool code name.

It was one of those things where you don’t really realize just how cold you were until you put on a sweater.

I just don’t understand why people don’t just let me keep quietly to myself.

I need to start this day over. I need to start this post over.

Maybe I’ll just delete a bunch of stuff.

Maybe I’m just having some angst right now. It’s hard to feel like the only place you belong is on the Compound.

“Socialism is not love or kindness or generosity or oceans of delicious lemonade. Socialism is not equality or community. It’s just a way of distributing the control rights over objects.”

There is nothing quite like a mammogram to make you feel like a giant whale.

Universal Empathy? Dear God, no.

Why are people all of a sudden liking a post I made in 2013?

I don’t know about that idea. I think it’s a bad idea.

OK, maybe that is not the job for me.

I wonder what Eric Stoltz is up to these days.

It seems colder than usual in here today.

blank empty plain ordinary nothing of consequence error ouch finger quark noodle chicken carrot tea tea tea shoe i don’t much care for lemonade actually remember that dark cherry juice you used to get at meijer it was so delicious and i think of it every time i see that episode of curious george with the yummy yummy juice sort dinosaur dinosaurt grrr rawr means i love you in dinosaur joker batman i think i could use a nap lake sometimes i wish i could just tell a person that i just don’t like them and move on with my life but that is not what a person does polka dot tea tea tea cup mug addiction always use the same 2 or 3 but can’t part with the rest itch ouch couch mooch off the system

I miss those things.

Those are the kinds of photographs that make me remember why I love photography so much. Not the super manipulated hella heavy post production fanciful things that are so popular today. The gritty, maybe not razor sharp, in the moment grungy realness. W. Eugene Smith. Some Man Ray. Even Eggleston. Anyway, the photos in that book are like that. Beautiful.

Actually. And I did not appreciate them at all the first time I saw them, when I bought his book for a dollar at the Border’s Outlet. Man I miss the Border’s Outlet. But Richard Gere’s photography is like that as well. I am fairly certain I spoke very poorly of them at the time. But now I think they’re lovely.

Those are the kinds of photographs that make me keep picking up the camera. Those are the kinds of photographs that inspire my long exposure work, that I never do enough of.

But I’m not shooting your family portraits any more.

This was not meant to be a … what’s the word? Let’s change the subject, shall we?

Let’s shall.

Does someone want to sum up Kevin Carson for me?

I was just looking at an old Random and came across this – Solace in solitary somnambulance. I like it.

I’m thinking about removing my links section over there.

A bit harder when you work in a gun free zone. But yeah. I agree.

Did that lady just say her name is Australia??

Oh my GOD. Australia. Honey. Rethink your perfume. Please.

blah blah blah

YES!!! I got out of that meeting. That makes me happy.

Why do I read those stories? Why? Stupid tears.

Wow. Instagram goes from banning breastfeeding pix to actually featuring one today. Good on ya, Instagram.

Maybe I should become a Cat technician.

I don’t think many people are going to like that last insta I posted.

I’m just trying really hard to get through this Rothbard and I’m almost out of tea.

It makes me sad that it’s August already.

Ugh. Just give me all the babies, OK?

le sigh. Instagram is not providing me with the usual 5 – 10 minutes of zen. sadness.

I don’t know what’s wrong with my shoulder lately, but I’d like it to stop now, thank you very much.

Are you serious.

Oh I know what must be going on. They must all have blocked my feed. That would explain all the things.


I think waffles for dinner sound delicious. And like they won’t even make me feel like more of a whale. Like at all.

I‘ve been trying to think when I might ever have a use for something like that for the last hour and I got nothin’.

Gah. It’s hot in here. I really do not want to turn on the AC.

I think my left contact is toast.

Maybe I’ll have time to clean the house Friday. Maybe it’ll stay clean for five whole minutes.

Stormageddon is tired. TIRED.

I find Alton Brown attractive. There, I said it.

Random Wednesday

wm5284I don’t know about objectifiable. Certainly objectionable.

Oh! I like these little arrow tabby thingies.

“What did you get?”
Notion duty.

So I’m listening to this God awful Michael Sandel podcast in which he’s asking his audience about health care and coercion, etc. Some guy stands up and talks about how we can’t have a functioning democracy without an educated citizenry. People can’t participate in a democracy if they don’t have a (public) education, if they are uninformed on the issues. Apparently he doesn’t know anything about this country and the fact that the vast sorry majority of the electorate are uninformed voters. The vast sorry majority of the electorate do not take the time to learn about the issues and the impact of the pending legislation and the actions of the people being elected. But yeah, public education is super important. Sure.

The common thread here? “It’s not fair.”

I’ve seen all kinds of liberal outrage over some lion no one’s ever heard of. I’ve seen not one blink of a liberal eye over the selling of fetal body parts. Y’all have some interesting priorities.

glad i deg

I think I was sort of hoping it would turn out to be some beautifully, unexpectedly visually poetic treasure. But it’s just a regular Instagram, with nothing terribly compelling about it at all.

Stupid tiny donuts.

You people are ridiculous. I mean seriously. Ridiculous.

This conversation took an unexpected turn. And now I am sad. I can’t help it that I can’t be more human than the human that I am.

I won’t say it if you won’t say it first.

Faen. I need to switch to that from my current F word.

I would like a manicure.

But. Captain America and Iron Man don’t even *wear* capes.

Curse you, Hammer Chicken!

“DNA doesn’t mean much. ‘less you’re being tried for murder …”

I thought that was a fancy cake.

I thought that said Michigan photo bomb.

There. I win.

Sunflowers are my favorite.

Dock! This totally made me think of you!

Cow eyeball man isn’t real, y’all.

Hell’s Bells. That first Batman cake is SWEET. No pun intended.

So many voices so desperate to be heard.

I found this interesting.

Ugh. I think the guy that’s secretly living in my building made fish last night after everyone left. I hate that.

I miss Rocky Road cereal.

chop suey cthullu

“Public education is the Soviet agriculture of American life.”

How do you know you can’t see them if you can’t see them?

W, looking at Evil Spock: “You can tell he’s evil by the eyebrows.”
“Dude. You can tell he’s evil by the goatee. Those are his regular eyebrows.”
“Really? I thought they were evil eyebrows.”

I bet you’ve never actually read that comic, have you?

I don’t know why people think Rothbard is anti-capitalist.

This dude cracked me up. “The people that know you don’t really like ya anyway.”

You spelled edition wrong.

Ha. Lake Monsters.

Ha. Benedict Cumberbatch. I knew it. “Not content with being blessed with a singular mind you proceed to behave in as anti-social and provocative a manner as possible … You’re not quite the imperious snoot you’d like everyone to believe you are, and you’re all the better for it.”

“Independent study eh? What are you studying?”
“I’m sorry, but that does NOT sound exciting!”

I’ll take the moon phase bracelet please.

Just when I think I’ve experienced the single most annoying thing ever, I get two, not one, TWO mosquito bites on the same damn elbow.

Sorry lady, but you’d have to pay me to go to that bar, and I know you don’t make that kind of money.

I miss letters. Still.

Nope. No one seems to be noticing.

Marshall Crenshaw! I want to go see Marshall Crenshaw!

What an asshat.

Wait. I think I might be in the wrong story.

Wow. These people never compliment my outfits. Thanks, lady.

Stupid humidity. Stupid hair.



I emailed the coach, the athletic director, and the president of the university. I don’t give a furry rat’s ass about how we look on ESPN, but I do care about the Invisible Need Project. I can’t believe I just did that. I bet they all ignore me.

Yeah, this is pretty much hilarious and true.

OK, “mic drop” has officially entered the Overused File.

Now it’s stuck in my head. sigh.


I miss those frames the you used to be able to put on your Instagram pictures. I wish they’d bring those back.

you were far away and i didn’t ask you why

It’s not a secret message from my teeth.

It’s a good thing that saved before I hit the stupid power switch with my toe. It’s a pretty hefty Random to lose to dumb.

It’s all very silent film-esque.

I wish I had Jen’s hair. Not me. Another Jen.

I wish I could lose this 25 pounds.

I wish I didn’t wish for things like that.

I think I’m being phased out of my family.

Oh hey, that’s my aunt’s husband. Best in the world.

I dunno. I’ve been watching a lot of Medium. Honing my psycho skills. Or something.

Wow, everybody really likes this shirt. It is not one of my favorites. Ironical.

OMG, Chris Christie. Go home. No one is going to elect you. No one.

i would have to have been a thing?

That’s not like someone else’s CULTURE and I get to appreciate society and Thank you!! ~ JenniferBot

Well that was fast.

But I don’t want a mammogram, ma’am.

Oh my God, that was hilarious.

I kept my tinfoil hat, too.

Ha. Slutty drowning victims. I never like Nagel either.

“What is that thing you’re typing into?”
“My blog.”
“So you just, like, type random things into it and post it?”
“Um. Have you met me?”
*conversation with Miss W.

Oh my hell. I el oh elled.

Hey. I said it was an embarrassing music request, didn’t I? Yes I did.

I guess everybody needs a hobby

Is that all there is?

This will be a lot of very pissed off at the end.

and it’s a sad status quotient, waiting for the sky to fall

wm5189~saddest quo, pernice brothers

Random Wednesday

wm5182I got nothin today. Must be a good day to work on databases. Mindless.

I don’t think we can afford you, Neil Gaiman. And that makes me sad.

I think Neil Gaiman is a far better use of monies than Gloria Steinem or Anita Hill. He’s certainly more relevant.

So much bullshit comes out of her mouth I wonder if she even knows what the truth is.

It still surprises me that people don’t get my humor at all. #blessed

Publish or die!

I think the word I was actually looking for was perish.

Who the hell is Chely Wright?

The Ugly Duckling? Really?

You are Morticia Addams. Your tastes are eccentric to say the least, like Morticia from “The Addams Family.” You’re able to let your children explore life freely, but you are always there for them at the end of the day. You’re unique and not like the rest!

Damn skippy.

Actually, I think I took that quiz before already.

Well huh.

“They learn by testing, so they’ll have to take a test before they leave.” Um. What??

Diversity diversity diversity we’re not diverse enough we need more diversity diverse diversity diversity diversity!!!!!!!!1!!

No, non-liberals don’t count.

I don’t know about this season of True Detective. It’s just so … overwrought.


I’m trying to listen to this Night Vale podcast, and I’m just not really feeling it. Maybe it’s the migraine dregs. I don’t know. It’s just not grabbing me at all.

Also I don’t think I can listen to podcasts at work. I think podcasts might be strictly a car thing. Also I think it might be related to the fact that I can’t listen to audio books. I just tune them out after about 5 or 10 minutes. And since I can’t plug the iPhone that isn’t a phone into the car to listen, I guess podcasts are out. So OK then.

You are Lady Macbeth “Screw your courage to the sticking-place and we’ll not fail.” You are a strong, powerful, charismatic personality. People do what you say…or get the heck out of your way. You are practical, matter of fact, and you’ll do whatever it takes to get the job done. Your single-mindedness can make you a bit of a loner. Three course meals and fancy cocktails aren’t for you – you’re far too practical for that frou frou nonsense. Be careful that, in your drive for excellence, you don’t push everyone away. You might need friends when you least expect it.

erm. Hmmm. Out, damn’d spot?

syrup pants

I knew there was something wonked with her hair! Didn’t I say there was something wonked with her hair?

Interesting interview with Alan Moore.

Well. Now I’m going to have to buy this shirt.

I wouldn’t mind being objectified for a while.

I haven’t made a single FB post since Sunday. Huh. I wonder if anyone’s noticed.

do i look like a liar. do i look like a liar to you.

Seriously. Stop sending crap out before I proof read it.

I am not loving this bologna sandwich.

I’m pretty sure I need a skirt in this pattern.


I have completely lost track of what I was doing. I need caffeine.

Gah. Michael Sandel. I do not enjoy this man. Not even a little.  Better that one should die so that five could live?

Um no, you moron. Shoving the fat man on the track is straight up murder.

But I guess I can listen to TED talks while working. That seems to work.

I do not even know.

Sorry for Corey Feldmanning you.

No that wasn’t a euphemism.

What the hell did I just step on?

Now I want a donut.

I had no idea that even existed. I am going to make full use, post haste.

I wish I could talk to the dead. I wish I could read minds.

Watts! I love Watts! I love that movie.

That is not sitting well in my stomach. Ugh.

ugh ugh ugh

Random Wednesday

wm 4993Oh. My. God. It’s like someone sat down in my head for like a minute and said, “Oh yes. I know precisely the type of tea mugs you need. Indeed, I know just the thing.” And then created this. Just for me. If ever I needed a thing, this is that thing.

this is my

Oh right. It’s the return of the weekly meetings. Whee.


I don’t know what the hell I sat in or where I sat in it, but I’m grateful that I am not wearing white and that it came out of my dress pretty easily.

Half of a half peeled potato.

“Peter Frampton is the first person I ever unfriended on Facebook.”

Gah. There’s not much worse than ice cubes that taste like whatever food has been in the freezer for the last ten years.

“That’s the deal. They buy me cigarettes, I buy them ice cream.”

I feel like I’m waiting for something to happen.

This just breaks my heart.

HA! My homeschool room might look that pristine and perfect for all of 5 minutes. Until my kids walked through the door. Keep dreaming, Buzzfeed. Also, do people actually have dedicated rooms for homeschooling?  Also some of those rooms are verging on the feel of a real classroom, which is something I’d say the majority of homeschoolers try to avoid.

I wish I had some pizza.

mistakes were made.

Where can I get some pizza?

I guess I’ll just eat this here bologna sammich.

I just can’t, with you. You make me tired.


Anti-Capitalist Libertarians are not actually anti-capitalist? I just don’t know how you can call yourself a market anarchist anti-capitalist and then offer crap for sale.

Wouldn’t organized behavior be anti-anarchist? I haven’t read your book, I’m just wondering based on the title.

I don’t understand you anarcho-anti-capitalist types. I’m not a huge one for rules, and we all know how I feel about government intervention and regulation, but I do realize the need for very basic rules, which by their nature require a form of organization. I can’t see a world without civil society, and I can’t see how you can create civil society out of anarchism. And I can’t see a world without capitalism. Or I could. It was called the USSR. And we saw how well that worked out for everyone. I don’t know. I’d say convince me, but … I don’t think that’s possible.

Can someone just make one of these for me? I’ll pay you. You know. On account of I believe in capitalism.

I was not on a boat, down on the river.

I just work here.

Sorry. Michael Douglas is not a “hot dude.”

I do not understand you, LinkedIn.

These Reese’s Pieces must be old, because they do not taste like they should. I suppose that’s the Universe’s way of telling me I shouldn’t be eating this crap anyway.

Have I mentioned how much I really hate potlucks?

Wait. What even is a “libertarian socialist”? I mean how is such a thing even possible?

Apparently a bologna sammich is not enough food. Starvinggggggggggggggggggggg.

I can’t read this crap. I’m trying and I just can’t.

Dammit! These animal crackers don’t taste right either! They kind of taste like grass. And dirt. What the hell?

Alligator man isn’t real, y’all.

Huh. That’s kinda weird.

Sham! Scam! Baloney! Shambaloney! Shamone!

People get so worked up over libertarians. It’s hilarious.

I just don’t think a flipping email saying that class has been canceled is too much to ask.

I need a sanctuary city to escape all this societal lunacy.

Also I need to turn this air conditioning off.

Ha. Ha.                           Eggs.

Oooh! This Boneyard Shawl I made is sooooooooo cozy and warm. I think I might have to keep this one for myself.

“Who raised you???”
“Surely not! My child would never speak to me this way.”
“It was you. You and dad. You did this to me. I’m the victim here!”
And yet she refuses to take drama class …

Boxed macaroni and cheese is about to not taste very good at all on account of they’re fixin to take all the taste good chemicals out of it.

I bet Nick Gillespie is reading this and saying “Don’t get me started on those anti-capitalists! Just don’t even get me started!”

Is that Leonard Cohen? I think it’s Leonard Cohen. Yes. It is Leonard Cohen. I like Leonard Cohen.

“Why does my phone want to autocorrect everything to ‘bat’?”
“Because you’re talking to jentober.”

Random Wednesday

wm4920This place makes me want to shave my head.

The humidity here aggravates my head pain. I’m trying not to complain, but sweet zombie jesus, it’s terrible.

I keep reading that as Smooch-a-Pooch Saloon. It’s salon.

I wish I had a donut. And some iced coffee. And millions of dollars.

I can have, please?

You got: Zoë Alleyne Washburne. You’re a pistol. You have zero time for liars and needless drama. You’re driven, goal-oriented, and have excellent judgment. If there’s a conflict, you know how to deal with it diplomatically without wasting time. You’re also quick as a whip, and extremely loyal to your close circle of loved ones.

I’ll take it.

Oh hey! There’s a Dunkin up the road!

I actually lost track of what day it was. Weird. I feel like I’m in limbo.

I was all set to have that chocolate iced for breakfast and someone ate it. Dude.

Bacon is obviously the answer here.

Is it because I burned the shit out of both of my hands making your bacon?

I was puffing out some air from exertion.

That sounds kind of wrong out of context …

Wow it’s hot. Too hot for the two miles I just walked pushing Stormageddon in the stroller while he snoozed away. Next time he’s walkin’ too. Lazy little bugger. Just kidding!

I don’t like that answer. Next!

I want to be thin and beautiful with my sweaters and things perpetually falling off my thin and beautiful shoulders in a sexy yet vulnerable way that only thin and beautiful women see to be able to convey. But I’m not thin and beautiful. I’m a curvy smokin’ hot nerd. And that’s cool too.

Ah yes, Indiana’s Bucket Android Lake.

I thought that sign said Fartville.

“They put weird lights on those signs.”
“They put weird everything everywhere. I’m Brian Fellows.”

This looks soooo good!

“There’s a fine line between city planning and arson.”

It’s fascinating to me that there can be a thunderstorm at very nearly the exact same time every day.

“Nothing happened! I don’t know how she did it, but she did ‘nothing’ weirdly.”

Who the hell is Ariana Grande?

Sooooo what you’re saying is that my Facebook posts are age appropriate?

Oh my God, Jim Butcher. Write more Dresden now! Seriously. Best series ever written. Ever. E.VER.

Dear Lord, that might be the single worst commercial I have ever seen in my life.

The only time we see commercials on television is when we’re visiting people.

I don’t actually care about the woman and her Old Navy tank top. I don’t care about the girl and her mother. If you want the world to stop putting so much emphasis on weight and beauty standards, stop bloody contributing to the noise.

I do not believe vaccines should be mandatory, but I do believe that you should have some liability for your actions. That woman did not have to die.

OH MY GOD, somebody who crochets needs to make this for me.

I’ve always wondered what my head would look like bald. I have an oddly shaped skull. Well. It feels odd.

“I bet your whole Goddamn property is whimsical!

I want the couple on the bridge please.

“Your bag is filled to the brim with despair and misery.”
“Of course it is, it’s my bag.”

el oh el These remind me of stories my uncle tells about working for the airlines.

Who takes a nap in the handicap stall?

lurking in silence

Oooooh! If I actually spoke to other humans, I’d super want this.

I love skirts so much.

Just eat the waffles before you starve to death.


Don’t you start. I’m not looking for validation. It was what my brain said after it saw a billboard.

I don’t think alligators make much noise.

It’s altogether too quiet in here, which can only mean one thing …

I’ma be in a boat, down on the river.

thursday soundtrack – hooray, hooray

wm blurgalveston – david nail
bring it on home to me – sam cooke
a thousand miles from nowhere – dwight yoakam
geese of beverly road – the national
until the levee – joy williams
calling cards – neko case
digging shelters – neil halstead
i found a reason – cat power
one more last kiss – ivy
down in the valley – the head and the heart
she always takes it black – gregory alan isakov
your song – ellie goulding
far from any road – the handsome family
say you do – dierks bentley
somerville – the pernice brothers
safe and sound – taylor swift featuring the civil wars
highway don’t care – tim mcgraw featuring taylor swift
i don’t recall – lavender diamond
silver lining – rilo kiley
jen, nothing matters to me – irving
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