nobody here but us chickens

Random Wednesday

Fill up the shopping cart with yarn. X the tab. Sigh. I wanna do the hipster knit along though. Despite the name. Even though it’s s’posed to be funny. I think. Sigh.

Worth reading. Wish I felt like I could share it widely.

What the hell is indecent assault?

Who among us does not need one of these, ladies?


hashtag virtue signal

Do we have to call it “training”? Can’t we just call it what it is? Re-education. Indoctrination.

It’s been a minute since I’ve felt this level of visceral hatred for this place and these people. But holy shit. It hit me hard today.

There is a direct correlation between my pain level and this place.



This Tylenol isn’t going to help. I don’t know why I bother.

Well I didn’t want to talk to you either.

I think asking me to stop referring to my husband as my “husband” is disrespectful of our preferences. I don’t want any part of your agenda.

Why won’t you let me leave you alone?

I have so little to say today. There’s nothing in my head today. The  pain is drowning out my thoughts.

I don’t actually like Star Wars. There. I said it.

I don’t like Game of Thrones either.

If you take a job as a delivery person for a business whose customer base is primarily on campus, you probably ought to familiarize yourself with campus.

This course is stupid.

I hate everything this week.

Almost everything.

Um. Strangling someone with your bare hands doesn’t really qualify as an “accident, I didn’t mean to do it.”

I have integrity coming out of my ears, I tells ya!

I’ve been trying to read this article for two days.

Darn. I was kind of looking forward to getting out of here for a minute. Especially because East Campus is my favorite. I wish I worked over there.

Maybe my school will need a me soon. My school is over there. Public Affairs.

Yeah. Right.

The only solution is more caffeine.

Unless it’s less caffeine.

I keep checking and there is just a whole lot of nothing.

Why don’t we just go ahead and tear down all the statues. No statues anywhere. That way no one is ever offended.

Except the people who are offended that there are no statues.

I guess there’s no pleasing everyone.

Sorry, but waving a Nazi flag, as disgusting as that may be, is not the equivalent of incitement. It’s free speech. Just like waving the communist flag is free speech. Waving the American flag is free speech. Free speech is free speech. Either support it or forever shut the fuck up about anything you believe in.

This is among the dumber things I’ve seen today.

‘Speech that demeans on the basis of race, ethnicity, gender, religion, age, disability, or any other similar ground is hateful; but the proudest boast of our free speech jurisprudence is that we protect the freedom to express “the thought that we hate.”’


“A law found to discriminate based on viewpoint is an “egregious form of content discrimination,” which is “presumptively unconstitutional.” … A law that can be directed against speech found offensive to some portion of the public can be turned against minority and dissenting views to the detriment of all. The First Amendment does not entrust that power to the government’s benevolence. Instead, our reliance must be on the substantial safeguards of free and open discussion in a democratic society.”

Wow. I’m cranky.

Just to be clear, I hate Nazis just as much as you do. So don’t go reading anything into what I’m posting here. Don’t be that asshole.

I can’t smell that God awful air freshener if I hold my head at an uncomfortable angle in my cube. Yay.


working working working

I wish I had a Den pop.

And millions and millions and millions of dollars.

Doll hairs.

Dolls are creepy.

I wish the openable part of my window was larger. I could use more of that breeze blowing through here.

I should have worn my glasses instead of contacts again today.

Way to follow directions, kid. Bravo.

Gaaaaah why don’t they do something better with Erin’s hair? She’s so pretty and her hair is so blah. It’s so dry and the color is weird and it’s all flat and listless. I feel sorry for her.

Damn. I thought it was about 25 minutes later than it is. That super sucks.

I want it back.

I can’t help it if I sigh a lot. I quite often feel like I need a big gulp of air. It’s not attitude. It’s survival.



just kidding.


I was much too far out all my life, and not waving, but drowning.

31.52 stevie smith ~ vic chesnutt

(theme – surrender)


I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my own soul.

30.52 dracula ~ bram stoker

(theme – spooky)


Random Wednesday

I feel like crap.

The only thing they seem to be doing to these roads is laying down layer upon layer of gravel. It’s frigging annoying.

Does anyone else hate Tammy?

Seriously. When did SPAM get so weird?

I don’t know how I did not know this beautiful thing existed, but clearly I need a membership.

How is it that I can’t keep an air plant alive? How is that even possible?

At least my children are still breathing.

I know this makes me some kind of heretic or something, but I really just don’t think I like Felicia Day.

It’s Monday right now. Still feeling craptastic. How is it even possible for a human being to be this tired?

Yeah, still can’t stand Wil Wheaton either. He seriously creeps me out. Also, how is it that he can look that thoroughly smug 24 hours a day? It’s like he had his face surgically altered to reflect his belief that he is inherently superior to the rest of mankind.

Also that beard is awful.

I may not live through CPR recertification this week.

I’m gonna have that damn Stones song stuck in my head for the rest of my life now.

Pardon me, but I believe that is my lung.

The room with all the leaves.

Wow. That is not what I expected to see. Horrifyingly hilarious.

This Diet Pepsi is deeply disappointing my taste buds right now.

Now it’s Tuesday. It’s like Random Wednesday – Extended Dance Mix or something.

I, too, would love to walk my children out to our garden each morning and watch with my quiet perfect mom joy as they choose their own vegetables for their healthy organic breakfast smoothie, Genevieve Padalecki, except that the only people who live that ridiculous reality are ridiculously rich famous moms (and I bet half of you are lying). The rest of us are lucky if we can get them to eat a vegetable once a year.

But maybe that’s just me.

Lifestyle blogs kill me. Your lifestyle would drive me batty.

Fit all columns on one page.

You are far too preachy for me, thanks.

No, I don’t need something, thank you.

I’m 100% sure that that will not solve the problem. But that’s none of my business.

cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough

Go ahead, pad your numbers. I care not a whit!

Sorry, I am exempt from your voluntelling me to help with this.

And now it’s Wednesday again. Back where we started. Well.

And now I have four bloody hours of CPR/AED re-certification. How the hell does it take four hours to RE-certify??

I seriously don’t remember my original certification even taking that long.

Wow, that really took four whole hours. On the plus, it did not seem to drag. And now I can totally save your life. Or your kid’s life. Or your baby’s life. Probably.

I’ve sent you that list at least once already. Come on now.

“Cisgendered .. It’s a way of marginalizing a normal person.”

For as many days as this has stretched out, there is not that much here.

Where is my sammich?

I love the theme music to Poldark. I love any theme music that is primarily violin. Millennium. Angel. It’s all so poignant and melancholy and a little dark but just an eensy bit hopeful.

Man I miss Millennium.

And also Angel.

Only have to

Written in my own heart’s blood with a chainsaw.

Hang on, Frances!


I bloody knew as soon as he started turning his life around that they were going to kill him off.

They’ve just had the exact, almost verbatim conversation, 5 times in the last 10 minutes. I’m not even kidding.

If I was a famous lady, I’d have Hogan McLaughlin design all my red carpet rags. Swoon.

I need a Fringe Porter Bin. Army Green.

Gah. I need two extra days off for this crap.

I had started reading this woman’s article quite a while back, got distracted, never finished, and lost it. It suddenly popped up again, so I’m sharing.

OK, I’m hanging it up.


just kidding.


Ain’t flinging tears out on the dusty ground.

29.52 sway ~ the rolling stones

(theme – dark)


I felt that I breathed an atmosphere of sorrow.

28.52 the fall of the house of usher ~ edgar allan poe

(theme – green)


Random Wednesday

It’s 10:30 and I haven’t written a word.

In my defense I was in the longest staff meeting EVER.

That Jody Allard woman? She is a monster. My heart hurts so much for her sons. Those poor boys.

And just like that I feel like watching the Kevin Costner Robin Hood again. So weird.

don’t look to a stranger

I wish I knew shorthand.

I thought that said “Lonely Knits for Little Girls”. That is not what it said.

I think I hate you, Windows 10.

This is an incredible house if you can get past all the creepy MANNEQUINS.

I want a witch window!

I’m sorry, Canadia. Normally I stay outta your bidness, but this really bothers me.

“These kids today with their texting and murder.”

Goodreads? Why the HELL would I be subscribed to the ROMANCE newsletter???

I’m reasonably certain I did not ask for that.

I kinda feel like going to Old Goat for lunch.

I wish Pop was here for lunch.

I don’t think I need any more stationery, but thanks.

Huh. I do this all the time. Well not all the time. But a lot. If you could see my Flickr account, you’d know that.

I don’t know how you expect me to remember a login I only use once a year.

My unicorn is broken. Sadness.

I don’t think I’ve ever used the word dossier in conversation before.

Thanks for completely ruining the clone stamp and healing brush Photoshop.

Wow. This stupid Windows 10 machine just rebooted without my permission, and I thought for sure I’d lost every word of this. I did not. Yay!

If I had, you’d have no Random today.

That lunch was definitely not at all adequate.


I don’t know if I can talk to you ever gain. You just used the phrase “me and bae”.

I should probably make an appointment with my neurologist.

I don’t really like my neurologist.

I’m 99% sure he’s a high functioning sociopath. Like I’d be willing to put money on it.

Not my neurologist. He can barely speak human.

I think I just ran out of fucks about today. It’s possible.

Now I feel like I need to read this Hillbilly Elegy and I don’t even know what the hell it’s about.

I like those thingers.

What is this one? CS6? No CC 2017. I’ve never used that one.

What a snoozefest.

You might want to consider a diet plan of some kind. You’re going to have a stroke or a heart attack or something.

I don’t pay any attention to that stuff and my cholesterol is just fine.

I did not go to Old Goat for lunch.

It never rained today. It was supposed to rain today.

It literally started raining as I hit enter on that sentence. I’m magic.

Even better than ads on Instagram? Telling Instagram three frigging times that a particular ad is not relevant to me and they still run it in my feed.

You’ve ruined Instagram! RUINED.


I wonder if famous people get ad free Instagram. Like that’s an option if you have a “verified account” or something. I would pay a subscription rate to get rid of the ads. Instagram is my zen. These ads are really messing with my whole process of getting my head back to something resembling smoothness.

What? I said resembling.

Yes. Yes, this is going to turn into a full on migraine.

almost blue, almost doin’ things we

A cactus seemed appropriate.


Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

27.52 h.l. mencken

(theme – attitude)


Random Wednesday

Here’s an old photo for you, since I failed to find a photo for this week.

I forgot about some things.

I very nearly forgot today is Wednesday.

I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a spiral escalator.

Um. Guys? An apple “farm” is called an orchard. Who wrote this??

I don’t want to pay 3 bux an episode to watch season 3 of Broadchurch. Just stick it on Netflix already.

Wow, that is foul.

I’m having one of those periods when I feel like I’ve just utterly run out of things to say.

Not that kind of period. Period of time.

It’s just you.

Seems like nobody’s talking to me lately.

Who the hell is Riley Dennis?

Of all the things happening in the world today, I find it endlessly hilarious that this campus is making national news because of goats.

Thanks for destroying my Instagram zen with the sudden bombardment of ads every three photos, you bastards.

Well. I don’t know how “fun” that was, but OK.

I am waaaaaaaaay too sleepy for the meeting I have this afternoon. No idea how I’m going to pull this off.

My hair is nothing but frizz today. Would it have really killed the universe to allow me a good hair day today?

At least we still

Huh. These are some interesting purchases. That’d be a handy booklight if I didn’t have to plug it into a USB port.

I should not be able to hear you crunching on that all the way over here.

If hearing is my superpower, it’s a sucky super power.

It’s so humid in here I’m sticking to my desk.

I’d rather have a sticker than a window cling. My windows are tinted. No one can see this thing.

It’s slightly different.

I need a shawl I can knit and not pay attention to.

Actually, I imagine I’ll be cranking out shawls like crazy again once the semester starts. I can’t read and not do anything with my hands.

I need some lucky rocket ship underpants.

Look at this fancy new hoodie. Whee.

Those people are constantly sending emails with broken links. You’d think they’d catch on by now.

Drop cloth = run. Check.

Still waiting for the nerves to hit, but mostly feeling pretty zen, really.


It’s nice that you designers can work with yarn companies to write patterns for TWENTY EIGHT DOLLAR A SKEIN yarn. Us little people can’t afford that kind of foolishness.

Don’t stand a chance.

I think she forgot. It’s possible.

I could use a snack.

Wow. That email confused the hell out of me.

Who says “notepad paper”?

I’m purposely trying to be less speedy. It’s a conscious decision.

Add lots of exclamation points. People will think you’re very happy. No one has to know that it’s a lie.

Sheesh. I have like 437 Word docs open.

I need to start planning the Christmas card.

I need to come up with my Halloween costume.

I need a vacation.

I. Need. A. Vacation.


It takes an ocean not to break.

26.52 terrible love ~ the national

(theme – fear)

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