antijenx

nobody here but us chickens

That’s what children are for—that their parents may not be bored.

wm2157 wm2268~Ivan Turgenev

Random Wednesday

wm2125Dammit, Jim.

rain rain rain rain rain rain rain Man, I’ve missed rain.

HA

You are: Batman “You are an exceptionally intelligent, driven and disciplined person with clear goals to make the world safer and better and the passion to make those goals a reality. You are observant, adaptable and focused with a deep sense of personal justice. Though introverted and perhaps socially awkward, you are deeply loyal to a few close friends and are selfless in your defense of people. Some consider your black and white views on morality a weakness, but it allows you to make clear cut decisions that protect you and the ones you love. While many consider you an extreme activist, they have a profound respect for your passion and want to share in your causes.” … Duh. Who else would I be??

inefficient and meddlesome … arrogant and arbitrary

I think I just got a cramp in my jazz hands …

I almost always hate the way these homes are decorated. Of course, if I could afford a million dollar home, I could afford to redecorate.

Seriously. Why does this town always smell so awful?

ZOMG! Yes please thank you!!!

Of course. It could suck. Like 24. I mean really. Did anyone buy that whole Sheila is a Punk Rocker bit with Chloe?

While I do still love David Duchovny, my love is a dim shadow of what it once was.

This whole office is one great big annoying black cloud of grrrrr.

Awww. I remember their video from 2012. I cried. Of course.

Hair hate is strong today. So strong.

Ha. I just remembered painting my nails with White Out.

I don’t care what you wear. Just look presentable. It’s not that complicated.

O.M.Effing.G. Enough already. ENOUGH.

Maybe that is not the best use of your time. I don’t know.

Shut up. I can eat this cookie before lunch if I want to.

Ha. That is not relaxing. I think it actually made me more tense.

Maybe you have narcolepsy. Or chronic fatigue. Or maybe I am not a doctor but I could totally play one on TV.

I probably need a second job.

deliberate and deliberate step by step process? I do not even understand my own notes sometimes. What the hell was I talking about?

This might be a good one to knit on the way to Florida.

I just don’t really care what Dumbledore’s sexual orientation is. Or was. Whatever. It’s wholly irrelevant to the story.

What’s with all the essential oil madness with people lately?

Right up there with the clothing labels. People are so easily offended today that it’s kind of tragic. You don’t like their advertising? Don’t purchase their products or services. Move on. Stop protesting and give your time to a charitable organization. Do something useful. Post a Facebook rant about the lame billboard and spend a few hours at your local food pantry or women’s shelter. No one cares if you can buy your own kitchen but you.

What? Why is the Office for Sustainability following me on Instagram?

You know what, lady? Being a mother is a 24 hour deal. But it’s not a job. It’s your life. It’s the life you chose to create with your husband. But here, you’ve managed to make this whole gig entirely about you. I hate to break it to you, but you’re only 1/5 of that equation. Just like I’m only 1/4 of mine. I work full time, I go to school. I am exhausted. I am chronically underslept, as my husband puts it. But it has never once been a choice between my husband and my children. You make things work as a whole, or you don’t. You? You’re kind of a selfish, horrible person, and when your youngest goes off to college, I think you’ll be pretty damn unbelievably lucky to look up and find your husband still standing there.

Huh. Maybe I’m a little wordy today.

You still have time to grab your Trigger Warning t shirt. So get on that.

“get your paparazzi ass off my goddamn estate”

Everybody’s a meteorologist when there’s a hurricane. Except me. I’m still just a smart ass. I’VE SAID THAT BEFORE!

“Another question is whether the Army will give Sergeant Bergdahl an honorable discharge if he is found guilty of desertion.” Um. In what universe is that a question, New York Times?

Seeds! Look at all these beautiful seeds!!

Aw! She sent me a thank you email for interviewing her! Bonus points! What a sweetie.

Seems like a fundraiser to restore the Gibson stack would have been the way to go. But what do I know about “hallowed ground”? Maybe they did try to raise money for it.

I want one of these shirts.

The Pretty Woman musical? Are you serious?

That woman is a lunatic. I do not want her representing me on this campus.

I did not realize the extent of “soccer mom” in her wardrobe. I am rather surprised.

I will never love Ska. Gah.

I want to get married again so I can have a country wedding.

Of course there wouldn’t be anyone in attendance …

I am so tired of winter. I need spring.

I wish I was a nicer person.

Why does everything have to be some brave act of defiance or some kind of calling your sisters to arms? Why can’t a bikini ever just be a bikini. You know what your message of “I’ve had 3 babies and I have a saggy belly button and I wear a bikini” says to me? You feel like you need to defend the fact that you’re wearing a bikini. Just wear the bikini. Just. Wear. The. Bikini.

See? I can’t just say “Oh that’s nice. Rock on, whichya bad self, lady.” I can’t just be nicer.

I just get annoyed.

I’m blaming this on my Constitutional Law exam tomorrow morning. It’s making me tense and cranky.

Exterminate.

you ever love someone so much you thought your little heart was gonna break in two?

#MaleficentIsMyCopilot

A video posted by @jentober on

Random Wednesday

wm3330It seems profoundly unfair that I have this cold.

Honestly. I never go to Starbucks anyway because reasons. But this nonsense is just one more for the list.

Can I have the 70 degrees back now please? Please?

I hate to ask. I hate to ask. I hate to ask.

Oh. Right. It’s back to normal meeting routine. Whee.

This would be so rad for the kids.

I really thought that said “Pass With Carl” for a minute. But no, just your standard “Pass With Care”. Poor Carl. He’ll be so disappointed.

I wonder what they’ll do for Michigan.

I cried. I’m not even gonna lie.

Kowtowing is such a weird word.

“Dammit. My antidepressant is stuck in my throat.”
“That has to be a metaphor or something.”

We found the Abdominal Snowman.

Honestly, how did this even happen?

“Deer frequently travel in groups. Do not rely on gimmicks.”

You know I totally love this.

“There’s always that moment when things hang in the balance. That’s where you are.”

I love this almost as much as Drunk J. Crew.

I am almost taking comfort in the fact that I have yet another dentist appointment today, and thus, am leaving early.

I really hate my hair right now. I do. I hate it.

Do you think a song like this would ever be released in today’s fascist PC world? I don’t.

Aw. You can’t open the windows? … You are ridiculous. That is the only word that accurately describes you. Ridiculous.

I think this lady and I would have gotten along very well.

I’m going to be drowning in political theory.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my time, but a conduit for God to pour His love over His people is not one of them …

Wow.

The pool was weak.

Ireland? How can I get on that trip??

“She has strong customer cervix experience.”

No, really, why am I in this meeting?

Don’t drink that racist coffee.

do you remember

Thank you very much.

Gwyneth Paltrow. You nutball. You’re hi-larious.

I hate it when it goes down the wrong pipe. That sounded way wronger than I wanted it to.

hee

Wait, what are we paying you for again?

Holy shit. That is the last thing in the world I would ever have expected. Congratulations to them.

Also, she’s only 3 months along?

This is appalling.

I came home and got the curling iron out. I hate my hair much less.

Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Now you’re all sucked into old pro wrestling videos.

“Aaah nothin’. You wanna know what happens when nothing is happening? When nothing is happening, everything is happening. You know those moments when nothing is happening? Those are the exact moments when everything is happening! Oooooh spooky!”
“Are you on drugs?”

Except for Number 9. If I don’t like you, you probably know it. Also you can make a quiet fuss out of my birthday. I like prezzies as much as the next gal.

I need to go bind off this shawl. Night y’all.

Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.

wm1926 wm1930(Oscar Wilde)

Random Wednesday

wm3209I can’t believe people actually eat Spam because they like it. Like it’s a regular item on their grocery list.

Awww!

Yep.

I don’t really get the whole Jared Leto thing.

When I unsubscribe from your email list, you don’t have to send me an email telling me I’m unsubscribed. Just unsubscribe me. The whole point here is that I don’t want your emails any more.

They’re SO beautiful!

Wow. So. Much. Dumb.

“The case never seemed to be anything more than a dispute between unsavory characters.”

I love these.

Yeah. Chris Pratt and Chris Evans? You guys are awesome.

It’s too bad I can’t include the doodles here. Like that bat. That bat is cute. It’s a cute bat. Not as cute as the stick people. But cute.

I get the weirdest spam.

I think it’s hilarious. I also think that the majority of the human race has apparently lost their sense of humor entirely.

I would like to know where this magical fantasy land is.

Daylight Saving Time still not plural. Still totally sucks, but still not plural.

These are really cute.

“Sometimes I’ve needed a place with no standards because I needed Diet Coke more than I needed self respect”

Ouuuuuuch

Chickens! The porch is not your home!

As long as the Clintons are never held responsible for the laws they break, they’re just going to keep breaking the law.

This guy has used the phrase inter alia approximately twelvety times in the last 10 pages. It’s a little obnoxious.

That was an incredibly thoughtless and lame move. It doesn’t even occur to you to consider other people’s feelings, does it?

It is tremendously difficult to eat right now. But I’m starving.

“The Story of Clinton v. Jones” is not nearly as scintillating as one might think. I can barely keep my eyes open.

I need to squeeze in a Buffy marathon between the end of spring and the beginning of summer I.

I don’t think there oughta be a law or anything, but I have thought on many occasions that it’s just plain dumb not to have changing tables in men’s rooms.

The dog is my favorite.

“Princess Kate: ‘I sometimes forget I’m pregnant.'” And now I officially hate you.

Oh! I should make the deathflake as patches for that sweater with the holey elbows! That would be so cute!

I wish I could just knit all day. That would be the happiest thing ever. Just knitting. And reading. And maybe throw in some Netflix marathon of some kind. Yep. Maybe if I ever get to retire, I’ll spend my retirement that way. If I’m not too arthritic.

I’ve always said I’m the uncoolest. My life is utterly mine, though. I’m spectacularly boring.

What a beautiful photograph of Leonard Nimoy.

I don’t get American holiday meals. Why do we eat turkey on Thanksgiving and ham on Easter? Why can’t we have lasagne or something? It’s just boring. Also ham makes me super queasy.

ruthlessly logical

I would have waited. That’s all.

I dunno. I do not think the Republicans should have sent that letter. All they had to do was simply not ratify any treaty. I think it was kind of immature.

Having a Quest bar for dinner because it’s the only thing soft enough to eat in this house that isn’t soup. I hate soup. I think I’ll wash it down with a protein shake. sigh

60 degrees by Friday?! Yes please!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Man. I feel pretty craptastic.

I love this shawl I’m working on for the knit along. I might have to keep this one. Also I should prolly post a photo to Ravelry. Actually I should do that for the Owligan as well. This weekend. For sure, this weekend.

Whenever I’ve tried to meditate I just fall asleep. My sleep is not generally especially meditative.

I hope this case brief is acceptable now. I think I just decided not to put any more effort into it. I have another nine page paper to write by the 9th.

Wizarding World of Harry Potter!!!! yes yes yes yes yes

I need to put together this book list for my independent study. And hope it’s approved.

And buy that ridiculously overpriced math book.

They’re conducting a post mortem on our …

WordPress thinks mortem is not a word.

I like cowboys too.

I prolly won’t turn that skein into a cake either.

“Why are you crying?”
“I just read a story that smacked me with the feels real hard.”

Sorry, sister. I’m pretty sure he’s a libertarian, not a Republican.

I don’t think a couple of those people are American citizens. Which means they can’t be registered Republican OR Democrat.

But what do I know.

I should take my kinderwalrus to work. He should live on my desk.

I wouldn’t want to get hit with all those encyclopedias.

Why do they call it the roast?

Because I’m in the mood.

So. sew. sooooooo.        .so.

Just so.

Let us live for the beauty of our own reality.

wm1615~ Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

 My internet friend Michelle tagged me on Instagram last week for #20beautifulwomen. It really made my day smack in the midst of a phenomenally bad couple of weeks. How lovely and unexpected to be told by someone you’ve admired for a long time that she thinks you’re a beautiful person too! I’ve been spending a lot of time since then thinking about beauty and what that word means to me.

I’ve never thought of myself as physically beautiful. My nose is weird, my ptosis make my eye look all wonky. I mean. OK. I think I’m reasonably attractive, but not beautiful. I’m good with that.

The women I tend to think are truly beautiful are the women I respect and look up to. The women I wish I was more like. My mother in law was a beautiful woman. She was kind and generous. She was no saint, mind you, she was a red head after all (wink wink), but she was a good person. I think that’s what beauty is to me, really, having a good soul.

My friend Amanda, who is raising her awesome son, Milo, all on her own. My aunt Ali, (who might as well be my big sister), who has lived through one hell of a year. My sister in law, Anna, who devotes her free time to charity and giving back. My daughter, Miss W, who has the biggest heart I have ever known. There are so many women that I admire, who are beautiful to me. I can’t list you all, there are too many of you.

I know that I’m no good with people. I have such a genuinely difficult time speaking Human. I try to just quietly do good things because when I open my mouth, it quite often ends in disaster. But I try. And I’ll keep trying. And I’ll keep looking up to the truly beautiful women in my life for inspiration and guidance and hope.

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness?

wm_2994~ John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley: In Search of America

Summer will be here soon. Right?

Random Wednesday

wm1538We checked out that Battle Creek show. What’s the deal with the coffee cake?

Your quantitative methods won’t work on me, research monkey!

I haven’t used this much alcohol gel in years.

I’ve always thought crows were cool. We particularly appreciate them because they chase the hawks away from our chickens. Crows do not like hawks.

Dude. I dunno. I have mixed feelings about purchasing this kind of paraphernalia. Also, I will firmly maintain until the day I die that Gein was not, by definition, a serial killer.

Sometimes I like Darjeeling.

I never understood the hero worship thing that was going on there.

Stop winking at me, you smarmy jackass! Gah.

I don’t know who this chick is, but this made me smile.

Nope. Still don’t like Easter.

Huh. You’re really kind of a hypocritical, hyper judgmental, super bitch, aren’t ya?

I completely lost myself in this video. I bought this book several years ago, but still haven’t had the time to read it. I will, though. I will.

You know, I didn’t even notice Faith Hill’s neck scar until People pointed it out.

How fun to be invited to join this knit-along! I’ve never been invited for one before. I’ve never just randomly joined one either.

Am I the only person who never visits WebMD?

A new season of Broadchurch?! Yes, please!

So long, Lootcrate. Maybe I’ll be back someday.

Sometimes I think I liked the world so much better before the internet.

Noooo thank you. Also it just kind of creeped me out. Also the one of the baby just made me worry about the baby.

I find this very interesting.

“Laughter is poison to fear.” I totally read that as if laughter were poison and should be feared. It seriously took me a minute. What? It’s a George R.R. Martin quote. Have you read his books? It made total sense.

The nice thing about umbrellas is the relief of not having to make eye contact with other humans. Well. That and the whole keeping you dry thing.

Proof I’m going to hell: Bobbi Christina is pretty much dead after a weird ass life and every time I see a picture of her all I can think is, “All their money and they couldn’t get that poor girl’s teeth fixed??”

Man. I really need to wash my hair.

I might have to rethink this whole Girl Scout cookie thing next year.

Sorry, Jason Newstead. I’m not wishing you a happy birthday. I forgot we were even Facebook friends. Why are we Facebook friends?

Ali needs the Outsiders necklace. I kind of love the Black Beauty one. I loved that book when I was a lass. And holy wow, that Wind in the Willows ring! I would never wear something like that but it’s beautiful! Also, that was my favorite book as a wee small. That and Harold and the Purple Crayon.

I need to go to Wales right now.

This just breaks my heart. Why can’t people just be decent?

This is not a problem you need me to solve for you.

Ummmmm. um. no.

OK OK OK OK OK. OK. O.K.

That is a lot of repetition.

I repeat myself here, but generally I mention it, as in, “I feel like I’ve said this before.” or “I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before.” Or I repeat myself purposely. Some things bear repeating.

I used to have a form of echolalia when I was a kid. I would say something and then silently repeat the exact same thing. My lips would move, mouthing the words, and everything. Only one person ever said anything to me about it. She thought it was fascinating. Maybe that qualifies as palilalia. At any rate. Now I only do it in my head. I managed to break myself of mouthing the words.

I’m sorry, but I kind of figure if you’re a super hero, you’re not going to have an “average” body type. You’re going to be toned and buff and strong enough to kick some serious bad guy ass. Not carrying around an extra 20 pounds from your last baby because you’re too busy with your life to go to the gym, which you wouldn’t do anyway, because you’re an introvert and dear God, the thought of working out in front of other humans is paralyzing. So yeah. Stop with the making super heroes look like regular people. They’re not regular people.

Bah. Daylight Saving this weekend. Like I can afford to lose another hour of sleep. I mean really.

Creeptastically awesome. But also, maybe, now that I’m thinking about it more, kind of really sad.

Maybe I’m not really a Shawl Person after all. But maybe I’m a Knit Shawls for Other People Person. Because they’re nice to knit, and they keep my hands occupied, and I like some people who probably need shawls.  I still kinda wish I was a Shawl Person though.

Why does my pasty taste so bland today? How strange.

Forgot my stupid text book. I’m going to take advantage of my unfortunate lapse and catch up on some Wallander over this lunch hour.

Wait. He’s been carrying around an empty pistol. When did he reload his magazine???

Isn’t that phrase kind of redundant?

Blah blah, special special snowflakes, everyone is a victim, down with the patriarchy, white privilege, male privilege drama drama my feelings are more important than your civil liberties blah. Am I blue in the face yet?

Whee. InDesign tutorial on Lynda. Exciting day.

Wow. You people are straight up nuts.

Um. My version doesn’t do picas, dude.

Yeeeesh. Lynda. I know all this part. It’s the same as Photoshop. Tell me crap I do not know.

I always add an e to doctor when I type it. Every time. Doctore. I have no idea why.

I cannot wait!!! But what’s with the frame moving around? That was kind of nauseating.

That’s not as many spiders as that one house. Where was that house? Georgia or something?

All these cookies and I haven’t even eaten a single one.

“You can’t be blue in the face, you’re not a Dem.” he said. hee.

I’m getting veeeeerrrrry sleeeeeepppyyyyy.

Could you just confirm that you did the thing that you already sent an email confirming that you did?

Oh man, I totally forgot about that skully knitting chart. It is sweet. I’m going to have to do a Zimmerman with a skully yoke. I can totally see it.

Kinda love it!

Alright. This has gone on long enough. Or has it.

It has. Get me to my cuppa.

“You are so busy being YOU that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.”

wm1455 wm1477~ John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

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