nobody here but us chickens

If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

011 wm 6429 011 wm 6437 011 wm 644711.52 (roald dahl)

Random Wednesday

wm6371Sorry, Bust Magazine. But finding Glamour’s decision to name Caitlin Jenner woman of the year totally ridiculous and not a little insulting is not “transphobic”. Any rational person who stops and thinks about that for 15 seconds would recognize that.

Believe it or not, you don’t actually have to flag every single one of your emails as IMPORTANT. On account of most of your emails just aren’t that important.

I think I’ll dye my hair purple.

Dogs are the best.

I ask you, has there ever been anyone more out of touch with reality than Gwyneth Paltrow?

People should just never wear floral based perfumes ever. I’m so serious. It’s painful. My brain is so sad right now.

OMG yes. All the things.

I’m pretty sure I need these.

I don’t normally appreciate much the Times has to offer, (you’ll note they were sure to get their Fox News dig in), but I do think this is worth reading. “Competitive victimhood” is how I tend to think of the environment fostered by higher education. Particularly in my own office where it seems to have devolved into a ridiculous and never ending game of Hurt Feelings. A game, sadly, one is forced to compete in if one wishes to come out with one’s employment and reputation intact.

I kinda want the gray one. I’m not normally one to go all tactical, just because it’s not like I’m legitimately tactical, come on. But I think it’s the messenger bags I love so dearly that are messing up my shoulder, and I just kinda like this backpack.

Oh Socrates. You are making me tired.

Thank you so much for shoving your chair back from the table directly into my hip and not apologizing at my audible gasp of pain. You are a beautiful human being.

Why do you have a dog on your shoulders?

My jaw hurts today. I must have been doing a more than usual amount of clenching in my sleep. Prolly it was a premonition of how my day was going to go.

I just bit my lip.

I’m clearly not in a good mood today. I really just shouldn’t be here at all.

I think this day calls for a Fountain Pepper.  Or a Fountain Dew. I’d take either one.

I didn’t know people used Maslow’s hierarchy in business settings. I always think of it in terms of crime rates.

It’s a merger, not a murder!

Oh God. Someone made popcorn. Just kill me now and be done with it.

This is the only presentation on active shooters that we ever need: Carry your pistol with you at all times. There.

I like it.

How did I read that question and then proceed to change it so utterly in my head as to answer a wholly different question that wasn’t even asked? I have wasted so much time. Dammit.

Whelp. No one unfriended me on National UnFriend Day. I can’t decide if I’m surprised or not.

Wow. I weep for our future.

Well this was not planned at all. Monkey wrench!

I typed that as MOneky.


Because I’ve listened to it about 7 times today.

Hmmm. It appears that you are broken.

I’m not sure that I really care, Carly Simon.

Why won’t anyone listen to me today?

Weather induced pain. Yay!

You know what? Don’t even read this today.

I should probably put that sentence at the beginning …

I feel strangely normal.

010 wm 6369 010 wm 6390 010 wm 641910.52 (charles bukowski)

Random Wednesday

wm6337I think I’ve figured out why I haven’t unsubscribed from these Bust emails. It’s morbid fascination. Like gawkers at a car crash.

Do people actually buy turkey costumes for Thanksgiving?

Um. This is a joke, right? Because wow people are dumb.

“Nobody is more persuasive than a good listener.”

Argh. I can’t find my size 3 DPNs anywhere!

I hate to break it to you, but it’s not actually Beyonce’s job to champion your cause. It’s her job to be a pop star – a job which, by all accounts, she’s wildly successful at.

This might be the part where I most wanted to punch him in the throat: “One night, I found myself lying on the grass in a park by my apartment, distraught.”

HA! That subtitle was GRRRR! That cracked me up.

Why do I read these stories. Why? I’m so not crying right now. Shut up.

I love donuts as much as the next chick, but we can’t have TWO national donut days. We just can’t.

I haven’t come up with a word for this yet.

“nice and incompetent”

If they were going to be down on the ground to film that stuff anyway, why didn’t they just drive the beavers there? Also if they weren’t planning to be on the ground, were they just going to leave the parachutes and crates there to rot? I have so many questions. So. Many. Questions.

Well. I didn’t get the gig. I could still really use that TARDIS fridge though. The big one, not the desk top one. On account of I’m tired of my stuff getting smushed to the back of the staff fridge or thrown away. Because people are mean.


I think I need a consolation prize. Like this shirt.

I’m sorry, but are you freaking kidding me? How is ADHD in toddlers even a topic of discussion? They’re toddlers. They all have short attention spans. They’re all bursting with energy. It’s their job. Can we just stop already with this nonsense?

It’s “fewer,” not “less.”

I swear I did not laugh or roll my eyes. There may have been a raised eyebrow …

Hey I just won an umbrella! Cool!

“They have one lone student surrounded. They’re forcibly preventing him from exercising a civil right. At various points, they intimidate him. Ultimately, they physically push him. But all the while, they are operating on the premise, or carrying on the pretense, that he is making them unsafe.” Stop coddling these people. They’re not children any more.

“The laws of this country were founded on Judo-Christian beliefs.” Hi-YA!

I wish I had a donut.

I wish someone would water the plants in Sangren. They’re so sad.

I just noticed that Tiny Special Agent Fox Mulder has horrible trigger discipline.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. What email to Bruce Campbell?

singing we’ll all be together, even when we’re not together, with our arms around each other and our faith still in each other …

“Step outside yourself to discover what’s important to someone else.”

It’s a strange strange thing when people don’t talk to you. A strange strange thing.

I’m suddenly just very very tired.

I am totally wearing jeans tomorrow.

EUREKA! My size 3 DPNs AND a size 3 circular long enough for magic looping. Yay!

The barometric pressure fluctuations are killing me. Like for real. My brain is going to explode and leak out of my ears. And also I might probably vomit.

Hey Doug Stafford, Chief Strategist for Rand Paul. Let me tell you about a strategy you’re currently employing that is not only not working, but is actively irritating the piss out of me – your twelvety seven emails in the last twenty four hours. Staaaaaaaahp.

A class about political theory should present the theory and allow the debate. This class does not do that. This class presents biased theory about socialism and feminist hysteria and allows no alternative view. It has been a monumental waste of time. This is my least favorite class ever. And I’m including math and that God awful Earth science hell in that sentiment.

How can one human be so singularly humorless?

“When has that ever stopped us before?”

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

009 wm 6293 009 wm 6321 temporary 9 63419.52 (hunter s. thompson)

Stormageddon is sporting another mom knit. Details later … (swapped out original photo for something a little more abstract so as not to reveal too much about the knit. I’ll switch back to the other photo later)

Miss W spent two hours having a blast at the homeschool partnership NERF wars this weekend. She did not want to leave. That rifle was worth every penny. And check out that trigger discipline! That’s my girl!

Random Wednesday

wm6276This is actually a really beautiful cover of the Queen song.

I love that Queen album. I wish I still had it.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not sure that this is really the message you want your underpants to be sending …

shiftless. idle.

Running behind schedule this morning.

I don’t think children who are starving need sugar packets.

I probably am addicted to these Quest bars. Maybe.

I tend to grow on people. Like a fungus.

nope nope nothing nope

“Hey. Sign language is the only language that everyone in this world can speak.           Except people that are Helen Keller.”

All I’m saying is I would never spend $250 to see Gloria Steinem. I can think of about twelvety-seven other things to spend that kind of money on.

The time change is dumb. The time change is dumb. The time change is dumb. The time change is dumb.

Oooh! I wonder if I’ll get a hat!


Spinny chairs should be outlawed in meetings.

New Star Trek series. What. It better not be animated is all I can say. Or have anything to do with Kate Mulgrew. Or Louise Fletcher.

Is Louise Fletcher still alive?

“The first step toward success is identifying your own leadership strengths.”

It’s always the same people. At least I expect them to be slackers. At least I’m not disappointed.

OMG. Hi-larious.

What the hell is this “moments” deal on Twitter? And hearts instead of stars? It’s all a little too emotional for me, thanks.

She abbreviated capitalism as kap.

I can’t help it if I am the only person at the meeting who didn’t laugh at your joke. I don’t think you’re funny. I’ll fake a smile all day long in this office, but I’m not going to fake a laugh at your lame joke.

Everyone may make jokes except Jennifer.

“Motivation can never be forced. People have to want to do a good job.”

She is singularly unpleasant. I deserve a Medal of Courageous Restraint for my customer service skills dealing with that woman.

I love Fortune Fish.

Yeah. The thing is, I just don’t care.

But. She’s totally wearing makeup. I mean you can clearly see that she’s wearing makeup. She’s just wet. She’s made up and wet. What is it with you people and this “stunning make up free!” nonsense?

Wait, there’s an actual Amazon bookstore now?

I feel compelled to ask.

“There’s nothing more effective and rewarding than showing a genuine interest in other people.”

el oh el

Never invite the reporters on the bus.

I find these specially designed muffin containers hilarious.

|A photograph is shaped more by the person behind the camera than by what is in front of it.|

OMG I think I’m in love with this muffin.

I dunno. I could go for waffles and bacon. It’s true.

Cos he totally would. Right? Right. Uh huh. Sure.

I think it’s interesting that the only things – fliers, sidewalk chalkings, etc. – that get defaced on this campus are the things posted by the conservative or libertarian student groups. Today the Students for Life’s chalk messages were all crossed out and re-written and people actually yelled at them in chalk. Interesting.

“He’s definitely in a rip off his clothes phase.”

Gah. I need jeans. I hate jean shopping. I hate it SO MUCH. Gah.

There has been something in my eye for houuuuuurrrrs.

I need to stop eating that for dinner. I always feel like a house afterward and I kinda hate myself.

I mean, you know how I feel about hugging, but if a kid wants to give his or her friend a hug, and that friend is cool with it, shut the fuck up, you know?

I may or may not have started getting a little choked up listening to Once More With Feeling on the drive home and Buffy starting singing about how she was pretty sure she was in heaven.

Man. Close my eyes and sit still for five minutes and I am out.


If you don’t take care on Hallowe’en, you’ll get an awful fright! For back in every shadow may lurk some tricky sprite!

008 wm 6182 008 wm 6205 008 wm 62748.52

thursday soundtrack on friday – it’s the most wonderful time of the year

food for beastsi put a spell on you – screamin’ jay hawkins
this is halloween – marilyn manson
fresh blood – the eels
dead man’s party – oingo boingo
bloodletting – concrete blonde
down in the lab – deadbolt
pet sematary – the ramones
spooky – classics IV
mother – danzig
sympathy for the devil – the rolling stones
psycho – beasts of bourbon
lil’ red riding hood – sam the sham and the pharaohs
impaler – spinnerette
love song for a vampire – annie lennox
evil woman – electric light orchestra
(don’t fear) the reaper – blue oyster cult
where the wild roses grow – nick cave & kylie minogue
o fortuna – carl orff
peek-a-boo – siouxsie and the banshees
howlin’ for my baby – m. ward
somebody’s watching me – rockwell
the house of the rising sun – the animals
heavy in your arms – florence and the machine
massacre (and the whole buffy score) – christophe beck
bela lugosi’s dead – bauhaus
halloween – the misfits
superstition – stevie wonder
baby did a bad bad thing – chris isaak
psycho killer – the talking heads
no costume, no candy – the swingin’ neckbreakers

Random Wednesday

wm IMG_20151006_172207Nobody needs vagina emojis. Ever.


I don’t need silver cowgirl boots. I’m pretty sure.

This is so awesome.

I’m sorry but you are mistaken. Dr. Pepper is not “basically Cherry Coke”. Dr. Pepper doesn’t taste anything at all like Cherry Coke.

I love my Kitchen Aid mixer.

It’s all part of my Master Plan. Probably.

Do I have a Master Plan?

Fascinating. I’d be interested in reading her book. Also what a hella cool job.

Honestly, how is it even possible to run out of room in Gmail? And yet, here I am. I’m like a hoarder but in the virtual world.

I am so disappointed in this class. I really am. And I did not have high expectations in the first place.

I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick.

You’re all Hitchcocked.
That’s a new verb. Fucked in a spectacularly creepy way.”

Oooh! I want a Goldwater t shirt!

Aw! Want! And also want!

You should really stop making these assumptions. Your track record so far has been singularly unimpressive.

I don’t know why you’re all so freaked out about the basement. I wish my office was down there.

Thank you for your kind words.

Huh. I still need a photo.

On the off chance I might be changing spaces of a work variety, I could really really use one of these, if you please.

Wow. It’s like a disease.

Maybe I should randomly move Random permanently to Thursday.

Ha, just kidding.

She completely skipped an amendment in her Constitutional worksheet.

Blue blue blue lovely blue

most unexpected

Dude. You are such an old woman.

All I’m saying is, there are other economists out there who might present a more balanced look at things, or at least an alternative. Enough with the hero worship of Hacker and Pierson. Why not throw a little Milton Friedman in there to make things interesting? Some Thomas Sowell maybe. A little broken window theory from Hayek perhaps. Throw some von Mises around just for kicks. But noooooo. It’s all Hacker and Pierson and Marx and Wolff and blah blah blah workers self directed enterprises blah.

I mean we’re not even reading The Law. Which, frankly, is shorter than some of this garbage we are reading. So it’s not like there isn’t time in the schedule. How about one less socialist and one more Bastiat?


Oooooh I get to test the cutest little pattern for Stormageddon! I can’t wait til my yarn gets here. I hope she does the adult size soon!

I need some brown eyeliner to do my Halloween make up. I have to remember to pick some up tomorrow. Except I won’t. So I’ll have to remember Friday.

I’m not very good at this Influenster thing. But it’s fun.

I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick.

I’m sooooo sl

Dammit! I have an exam in the morning. I hate that stupid class.

I like the stars.

I am going to freeeeeeze in the Halloween dress tomorrow.

What’s that Buffalo Tom song …

I’m reasonably certain that it’s just too late for another cup of tea.

This boy is having a terrible dream.

Freeze tomorrow. Hell I’m freezing now.

I dunno people. Carly’s making me like her. Rand’s got some competition. Or something.

Which reminds me I have to vote no on some stuff Tuesday.

no no no

May you live every day of your life.

007 wm 6096 007 wm 6112 007 wm 61607.52 (jonathan swift)
Miss W shot mine this week and I love it, roots, wrinkles and all. Yes, I made Stormageddon’s sweater. Gramps by Tin Can Knits. I omitted the elbow patches.

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