antijenx

nobody here but us chickens

thursday soundtrack – hooray, hooray

wm blurgalveston – david nail
bring it on home to me – sam cooke
a thousand miles from nowhere – dwight yoakam
geese of beverly road – the national
until the levee – joy williams
calling cards – neko case
digging shelters – neil halstead
i found a reason – cat power
one more last kiss – ivy
down in the valley – the head and the heart
she always takes it black – gregory alan isakov
your song – ellie goulding
far from any road – the handsome family
say you do – dierks bentley
somerville – the pernice brothers
safe and sound – taylor swift featuring the civil wars
highway don’t care – tim mcgraw featuring taylor swift
i don’t recall – lavender diamond
silver lining – rilo kiley
jen, nothing matters to me – irving

Random Wednesday

wm4380“You know how people talk about unconditional love for your children…. Isn’t that just a fluffy name for Stockholm Syndrome?”

I hate refillable water bottles. I can never drink out of them without dribbling. I think it’s the width of the mouth of the bottle. Also it’s possible I’m a dork.

I’m reasonably certain you didn’t mean that the way it came across, but yeah. And so the Mister sent me this, because funny.

Magazine: “Maybe smoking doesn’t kill after all.”
B: “He didn’t die from smoking! He died from a Hell Fire Missile in the face! Everybody knows what he DIDN’T die from.”

Oh my God. Go home, Ted Cruz.

It’s always an “activist court” when you disagree with the ruling, regardless of which side you’re sitting on.

OK, it’s not that I hate Captain Janeway so much as I hate Kate Mulgrew.

You are: 0% Hippie You are soooo not a hippie, and to be honest, you really don’t see the appeal. You like showering regularly and enjoying the convince of modern life. Attending a multi-day music festival with jam bands and hallucinogens is your definition of hell. You like things clean and organized and you like having access to private bathrooms. And why would someone want to purposely have hair so dirty that it clumps together into dreads?

The convince of modern life? OK. But yeah, that’s pretty much right on.

I want to know who put me on Ted Cruz’s mailing list. So I can punch you.

The best comment I’ve seen about this photo: “It’s like a sociopath detector.”

I don’t know how I feel about this blue highlighter.

Caitlyn Jenner is way better at high heels than I am.

el oh el

I just think it’s weird when Canadians start expressing their opinions on the American political system, as if they had intimate knowledge of what it’s like to live in a Constitutional Republic. I certainly don’t go around talking about how I think Canadia should run itself.

I’m always thoroughly convinced for a good minute that they’re planning to abduct me and take me off to a re-education camp. I know, it’s hilarious, but I’m totally serious.

MATH: The Final Exam

Life had an unusual number of redheads in the episodes.

This cannot possibly be a for real article. It has to be a joke. Right? Because OMFG.

disco passionate

Aaaaaand breathe a very deep, very big sigh of HELL YES. Math is over.

Huh. I watched this movie and have absolutely no memory of Nicolas Cage in it at all. And he was the lead.

I don’t know. I just have some issues with endorsing that big a pile of bullshit.

Oh hey! It’s July 1st. New payscale goes into effect today.

Western looked at what I do and decided that I have been significantly underpaid, lo these many years. Underpaid. Who knew? Oh wait …

Why the hell am I so hungry?

There is only so much dumb a girl can take, really.

I honestly cannot decide if I like Glen Hansard or not.

After listening to whatever the hell that was I’m thinking not.

Ask me why I always vote no on school funding increases. Go ahead. Ask me. It’s because of bullshit like this.

haven’t lost my voice

Um. I’m reasonably certain that this form was not submitted on the 29th of October, 1930.

Oh my God. I can read whatever I want right now. But there are so many books piled up waiting for me that I can’t decide! I CAN’T DECIDE!!! sob

OMG Hilary Clinton. Go home. Just go home.

Um. Huh.

oh.my.god. I’m saying that a lot today.

Oh my God. I’m so tired. Sooooooo tired.

I’ve always thought this house was hideous from the outside. Now I know it’s hideous on the inside as well.

Just in time to say goodbye.

I love this shirt so much.

Damn. I should have bought some milk.

milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk milk

OK. OK OK OK. Dresden it is. Stop yelling at me.

Thud.

It’s soooooo easy to fall asleep when I’m trying to get Stormageddon to fall asleep. For me. It’s easy for me. He’d stay up all night if I let him.

That was weird.

And that was perplexing.

Dude. Trust me on this. My proofreading skills are worth every penny.

I am so not prepared to be in the car for that long again. I am, however, prepared for the deliciousness of Chick-fil-A. We really need a Chick-fil-A.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

wm4882~Scott Adams

Random Wednesday

wm 3629This guy is awesome.

That just seems so patronizing to me. I don’t know.

I don’t think you really thought that acronym through very well.

Let me know if you have more noodles Monday.

“If I had to pick one brutal dictatorship to live under, it’d be North Korea’s.”

It’s almost as if Random had magical powers of suggestion on the universe … I need millions of dollars! I need millions of dollars! I need millions of dollars!

I love this shirt so much.

You are something of consequence.

New Gchat is weird and the menu is messing me up and I don’t like it. You hear that Google? I don’t like it!

This might just be one of my new most favorite things ever.

Man. Life was such a good show. I wish they hadn’t canceled it.

YES! Um, Justice Sotomayor? It’s not about retaining “some” property rights. It’s about retaining ALL property rights.

Some are

Man. I never know where I stand with that woman. People say I have an attitude. Please.

Staaaaaaaaaaaaaahp.

“Yes, of course we have people in Michigan,” this flag says. “It’s just full of people. That is why we have a moose and an elk holding up this sign with a picture of what appears to be a jovially waving yeti on it. But everyone else here is people. And we totally know how to spell TUBER.”

lol

“Let’s all go out for blended coffee drinks!”

“Don’t you want a bunch of new friends? Don’t you want ’em all to know where you are all the time?”

General anesthetic scares the shit out of me. Not even kidding. The thought of having zero control … God. Horrifying. And this isn’t even the worst that could have happened.

Sometimes I care so little about a subject that even when I am required to provide an opinion, I’m stumped. I do not care. I cannot even begin to formulate a response. I got nothin’. Total blank.  That’s pretty much my university experience summed up, right there.

With some notable exceptions. But still.

Well now it looks like a vagina.

Yeah. That’s pretty damn creepy.

I just think you should proofread your shit before you hit that publish button, that’s all. I speak from experience, yo.

Um. Toddlers are squirmy and disruptive because they’re toddlers.

Apparently there is a mouse living in my truck. Miss W named him Ted.

I hate days when I feel fat.

Huh. I remember doing something to my foot that hurt. I have absolutely no memory of what it was. Apparently whatever it was drew blood, which I clearly did not notice at the time.

I’m a mess.

I need a week’s worth of sleep and a solid 24 hours without crushing skull pain. I don’t think that’s too awfully much to ask, really.

Now there’s a real hero for you.

Surely I cannot be the only one who couldn’t make it through 100 Years of Solitude?

If you don’t like Gone With the Wind, don’t bloody read it.

Current weather: Migraine headache. No! Really?!

It’s likely my MacBook battery life is going to dictate my publish time this evening.

Math is almost over. Math is almost over. Math is almost over. Math is almost over. Math is almost over.

Wait. Am I doing that this week?

Oh. Maybe they were talking about the movie. Well don’t bloody watch it then.

Feelings. Precious baby howler monkey feeeeeelings.

Just in cases.

I kinda want an iced coffee.

Mike Rowe is so classy. And sexy. And awesome.

hope

Oh. Ha. I thought that said David Bowie.

Time to switch to a longer cable, I reckon.

But where did I put my cables? Hmmmmm?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm???

Random Wednesday

wm4375I always feel like somebody’s

I just don’t even feel very Random today.

God, this place. I can’t.

Ha. This cracks me up.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

Wow. That is some kinda weird.

I hate papers. I always panic.

Purposely. Perpetually.

marked down as

Yeah, you were concentrating. Concentrating on cutting a bitch.

I keep thinking there’s a whole extra week in June and it is messing me up for real.

All I really want to do right now is knit and watch Netflix.

Aw. I love it when people do stuff like this!

Wait. I just read the words “summer yarn sale”. That’s like waving crack under a junkie’s nose.

It’s hard to be motivated when your job is not terribly motivating.

I love this guy.

Man. I love this guy too.

I need some kind of absorbent coaster for my desk. Oh! I should knit one out of some dishcloth cotton!

I think maybe I’ll post this tomorrow. I have so very way too much going on today. sheebus.

Seriously. This is starting to feel like All Summer in a Day.

I for real need a standing desk. This shit is killing me.

Oh! I think those are peonies in my yard!

What? Now I have to prove to WordPress that I am human? Whatever.

OK. ok ok ok ok ok. I surrender, migraine.

Gah. I would so much rather be on the lighthouse right now.

I’m feeling totally blocked on this paper. It’s a bad thing. I need a shove. A big ol’ shove.

Oh my. Wait. Is that a chocolate chip cookie on that guy’s pants? OMG that hat. With the feather. On yellow pants.  Kaitex. Bringing you the dad-bod before it was cool.

And it’s just that easy to distract me from this damn paper.

My cube needs more tiny dinosaurs.

We need new phones.

We need to sell this house.

I need to graduate.

I need to not have this migraine.

I need to write this paper!

Why yes, I did just use the word “fomented.”

“Hate is carried in your heart, not in your holster.”

Speaking of. I hope my head will cooperate with TWAW night. There is nothing worse than shooting with a migraine. Nothing. Not even child birth. I had a migraine when I qualified for my CPL. It was horrific. 90 some degrees, literally dripping with sweat, and my head in total agony. I’m just glad I didn’t vomit.

Um yeah. That is awesome. I should knit something like that. If I ever have free time again …

Wow. It’s remarkable to me how that works. Boom. 3 full pages. Just like that.

That’s single spaced, by the way, she said, not a little smugly.

“Never fall under the delusion that you are free from violent people because you are where you are. Bad men do not care where your knees fall.”

Um. I’m so sorry, your honor, but this young man had every right to go online looking for a date. You have no business sentencing him to this gross injustice simply because you do not personally approve of his behavior. This is despicable.

I say I need more tiny dinos in my cube, suddenly my Facebook feed is full of my friends posting photos of things tiny dinosaur related. And they haven’t even read this yet! (Assuming they actually planned to read this …)

Um. Why the hell are backpacks so bloody expensive??

What is a slide and what is its purpose. Well, class …

Yep.

I cannot stop yawning. All I want is sleep. Days and Days.

days and days

I wish I could sing.

I wonder how much the November Rain video cost to make.

I wonder if Slash ever just wants his damn hair out of his face already.

Oh come on. The Flame was not Cheap Trick’s finest moment.

OK. I need to get out of this Youtubian rabbit hole.

More drugs! Not that kind of drugs.

Um. This site kicks ass. That is all.

All I really want to do ever is knit and watch Netflix.

But now that you’ve told me I can’t, all I wanna do is use the procurement card. I all of a sudden need eleventy things for the office!

Yes, that is my makeshift range bag. Where else would I store the ultra violence?

Yeah, I don’t think I could listen to Twist and Shout over and over and over and over …

Stupid brain being stupid and hurty. Stupid.

yawn.

(you totally just yawned)

Random Wednesday

wm3620I am fairly certain that soy and coconut kale chips are not, in fact, the snack I should be eating, thank you very much.

Um. Okaaayyyy.

I’m sorry, but you cannot put forth a list titled “27 Seriously Underrated Books Every Book Lover Should Read” and expect to afford that list any level of legitimacy when your opening title is “The Art of Racing in the Rain.”

God I hate John Irving.

I read “The Unbearable Lightness of Being”. I saw the movie. I don’t remember a single thing about it.

You oughta see my one year old.

“I am AWESOME. I think. … Give me a minute.”

I can’t decide if my feelings are actually hurt, or if they’re just hurt on principal. I think it might just be principal.

I think I might be kinda weirded out by this.

You’re a Political Libertarian! You’re the type who runs for office on a platform of getting rid of the office you’re running for. You don’t care for politics, but you’ll work to change the system from the inside. And if you actually win, you won’t be happy about it. You’re just going to try and find a way to throw a monkey wrench in the gears to destroy the bureaucracy by any means necessary.

The best part about that description was the picture of Ron Swanson included with it. I don’t know how accurate it is. But my colleague generally jokes that I’m the Ron Swanson of the university.

Oh wow. I forgot about the weird bagged milk in Canadia.

What’s that you say? You really wish you had bought a Trigger warning. t-shirt when they were available? Well aren’t you a lucky son of a gun? They’re back! For one week only!

All dresses and skirts should have pockets. Always.

This whole “break the internet” thing. That dress just broke the internet! It’s just about as annoying as the phrase “going viral”.

Seriously. I’m sorry. But rethink your perfume. I am begging you. For reals.

I keep thinking about how much time I’ll have when I finally graduate. I think about all the things I will do with that time. Gah. It still seems so far away.

Miley Cyrus. How are you still here?

No one should ever sing Jimmy Buffet ever. Not even Jimmy Buffet.

Ha! Yessss.

OMG socks. You know I’m a sucker for a good pair of socks. Must. Resist.

Um. Yes, please, thank you. Just go ahead and sign me up for the Outlander ones. Also if you could just cover that cost, that’d be great.

Course catalog, you have eaten up my entire morning and made my eyes completely bleary.

There’s not much worse than having to rip out 20 rows and pick 300+ stitches back up. le sigh

I tried to watch the season premier of Hannibal the other night. Usually that show is like a sedative to me. I just kept thinking, “Wait. How is this on network television??” The muted colors, the composition of the scenes, reminds me of old Kodachrome slides and color prints of my grandparents and their homes and travels in the 50s and 60s. Some of it is indeed, visually, stunning. (I had not noticed in my viewing, the crust of the pot pie and how it echoed the mask that Will is made to wear, the one we traditionally think of as the Hannibal mask.) I have issues with the stories though.

I don’t even know how that is possible.

I don’t know. I just think it’s fascinating.

I need a beverage. Beverage me.

I’m questioning my wardrobe choice today. Seemed perfectly reasonable this morning.

Oh so that’s how I see missed calls on this stupid thing!

Whatever. IJReview is kind of a craptastic site, if you ask me. No one proofreads a damn thing. It sensationalizes things. It’s predictably biased. I try to avoid clicking on their articles whenever possible.

Oh my goodness. The Bletchley Circle. What a great show.

What the hell? Why does my foot hurt?

Seven7? How do you even say that? Like just “Seven” and the numeral is there as a stylistic thing? Or do you actually say “seven seven”? I hate people. Call things what they are so brains like mine don’t agonize over the logical read. *Ahem* Double JJ Ranch *Ahem*

Why, that’s brilliant! Certainly a girl like me could pick that up in no time a’tall.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Hey lady. My calculator does not do what you say it’s supposed to do.

Spontaneous order.

Laissez-faire, laissez-passer, le monde va de lui-meme.”

I don’t know how to tell you this but

Why, a fella needs a clear voice to announce the imminent invasion by the Moon Men!

I think that lady thinks Miss W needs some Jesusing.

I got news for ya sister. I don’t speak it either.

Wait. A truck full of what now?

10-4 Good buddy.

OMG Honey Maid Despicable Me snacks I love you. sooooooooo good.

I want to take my contacts out but I’m hot and my face is going to sweat and my glasses will just slide down my nose and it will be just as annoying as my tired bleary eyes are with these contacts.

What? What the hell is going on with her hair?? No. Ew.

It is way too early to have to turn the air conditioning on.

“Pray for me, Wednesday!”
“But. I don’t believe in God! I mean. What a ridiculous concept!”

Derriculous.

Why, yes. I will make some delicious chocolatey brownies, thank you very much!

Judas Maude, that is a powerful stench.

Ahhh but there is the lovely aroma of delicious brownies to cover it up.

Look. I can’t help it if there are country songs I dig. Doesn’t mean I want to listen to the whole discography of the artist. It just means I like a few songs. Don’t judge me!

Random Wednesday

wm 3626It would be really nice if Facebook would top switching my feed to “top stories”. I have it set to “most recent” for a reason!

I keep thinking today is Thursday. I’m doomed.

Additionally. Not in addition. Additionally. Additionally. Additionally. Come on, people.

I have always loathed diagramming sentences.

She’ll have to marry rich. She clearly isn’t going to get by on her intelligence.

“The next time you think only the government should have guns remember that same government just mistakenly shipped Live Anthrax.”

I don’t know why it surprised me to come across Bill Janovitz on Instagram, but it did. Pleasantly.

50 pounds!? That’s like $100!

Charles DeLint always makes me feel vaguely uneasy. I’m reasonably certain that this is not his intention.

But that’s what it sounds like in my head.

The violent seizure of someone’s property.

“Yep. Nothin’ like a bitch wavin’ a banana around, talkin’ about the environment.”

The motion sensors that control the lights in these buildings can’t see me. Apparently I have become the ghost in the machine.

I dunno. I just have a hard time buying Gillian Anderson’s British accent.

Oh. Have you met my other boyfriend, Vince Vaughn?

Oh yeah. That totally happens to me all the time.

Sorry, Wool and the Gang. I’m mostly just not feelin’ ya.

Sloths and moths!

They’re like this weird zen language that makes no sense to me but forms a sort of other planetary poetry.

“Feminism has become a catch-all vegetable drawer where bunches of clingy sob sisters can store their moldy neuroses.”

He could walk down the street, girls could not resist his stare.

What? There’s a new Florence and the Machine?? Hand it over!

Ha: “Every single movie in production needs a person whose only job is to read the book, then slap the director with it every time they say ‘Yeah, but what if …'”

Listening to Shania Twain does not make your music collection “diverse”.

I got some mad skills, yo, but raising literary greats from the dead ain’t one of ’em.

I’m sorry. I just don’t care for Eddie Redmayne.

Love!

OMG so tired of Brucelyn. Most courageous sports figure of the year? Please.

Hi-larious.

I always think people’s Facebook posts are directed at me. I don’t think that’s ego so much as the paranoia derived from a lifetime of pissing people off.

I could have sworn I had made a note of that.

It’s so terrifyingly easy to ruin someone’s life. It’s appalling that women are so willing to do so. We showed this “documentary” on campus.

I’m pretty sure the waitress dress was designed with my body in mind. I can seriously rock a waitress dress, lemme tell ya.

Oh course catalog. Everyone thinks I hate you, but I don’t.

Ooooooh-kaaaaaaay …

I have no idea what those numbers mean.

i HAVE LOST TH

OOpS

I have lost the ability to remember more than 5 of the eleventy billion passwords I have to use on a daily basis. I admit it. I am defeated.

Which famous celeb-ritarian are you? You’re Rand Paul! You’re soft spoken, principled, and powerful. You’re probably socially conservative, but you don’t force your beliefs on others. You might not be so hot on immigration, but you sure as hell know how to thump them Democrats. You probably do a good job in getting Tea Partiers and conservatives to read Ludwig Von Mises. Democrats hate your guts and think you’re racist.

Interesting. Rand Paul isn’t even a libertarian.

I don’t know. Pizza or tacos. Pizza or tacos. It’s not like you can go wrong with either.

Um. He might be drunk, but he can probably still read. What’s to stop him from waking up drunk, finding his keys after reading the note, and then driving away. Drunk. Yeah, Drunk Knight. Good on you. Or something. I know you meant well.

Current favorite book by a living author. That’s all I want to know. I have reasons.

I don’t know. I don’t think I should eat this Snickers bar.

I remember the first time I ever read a word he wrote. I can’t say that about most authors. Even ones I really love.

How Libertarian are you? You’re Barry Goldwater! You’re a strong conservative, who believes in limited government and economic freedom. You’re even cool with gay people, and praise their service in the military. You’re rock solid on economic issues, but when it comes to civil rights acts, you won’t vote for them if you think they are unconstitutional. The constitution is the law, and that’s just how it is.

Yeah, OK. I can see that.

I did not eat the Snickers bar.

I still hate yogurt.

I really should probably be using a standing desk.

“I would prefer a solution that does not involve a chicken in my house.”
“There are chickens in the house.”
“Son of a bitch! They better be delicious!”

Who the hell is Lincoln Chafee?

There is way too much Pete Yorn in my life right now.

even if you never

I think you might possibly have missed her point there.

need. new. music.

I hate that Facebook tells you when your message was seen. I don’t like knowing that I messaged someone and they chose not to answer me. Sometimes I accidentally open a message before I’m ready to answer it and then I think “Oh no! They’ll think I’m ignoring them and I’m not! I just can’t answer this while I’m driving!” But if it’s hours and hours and days or whatever and you still haven’t responded to me? My feelings might be a tiny bit hurt.

Well. That was an interesting noise.

If loving Peter Murphy is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Thanks, Stormageddon. That gouge made with your tiny raptor claw was exactly what my eye was missing.

“Lena Dunham, a young HBO star/high-profile pretend victim/painful memoir writer/abortion fanatic/half-baked leftist/Oberlin caricature. Dunham, in short, is like a big, flimsy cardboard box full of squeaky bad ideas, each repeatedly scrambling, with tiny T-Rex arms, to be the first to make it out of her mouth.” All. of. This.

I’m never going to get around to watching that Nick Drake documentary, let’s face it.

Sorry. So sorry.

It all just came out wrong. It always does.

And that would be the second time ever that a student has mistakenly referred to me as Dr.

God. A Hole in the World. Totally unrelated to Angel, but I immediately thought of that episode that just rips my guts out every. damn. time.

Every damn time.

Random Wednesday

6717149427_266ea013e5_oHey guess what! Guess what! Go on, guess! It’s Wednesday!

I make my own fun.

I wish my hair would do something besides pony tail.

I don’t know. She has this way of turning things into Things. Like when she uses a phrase you can hear it in capital letters and it becomes a Thing. There are too many Things.

Why yes, I do know how to drink tea. I realize you can’t tell by how I just poured it down my front, but really, I’m an old pro.

Surely I can’t be alone in hating Glenn Beck’s glasses. Not that I’m a Glenn Beck fan anyway. But really it’s the whole glasses, bow tie, suspenders combo that really take it over the top. Someone really should have taken him aside at some point and told him “No, Glenn. Just no.”

I like the word “begonia”. It has gumption or something. It’s an enthusiastic word.

Hockey puck, rattle snake, monkey monkey underpants.

I’m sitting here trying to put my hoodie on sideways, wondering why it’s not working.

The stupid 7 key on this MacBook is always sticking.

I need to watch this again. I loved this movie.

How does this happen??

The fly on this skirt is wonked.

Look out world. This Mtn Dew is fully leaded. stupid vending machine

I now use approximately seventeen different passwords daily. I’m pretty much over that entirely.

This independent study has made me realize something very important. The only thing I can possibly do with the rest of my life has to be something involving political science. My advisor called me an academic. (ack!) She also said that I am a political scientist. (ooh!) Of course, the question remains … WHAT am I doing with the rest of my life?

Hell’s Bells. I just lost 3 hours to scanning crap. Damn.

I don’t have a picture.

Oh Lord, they changed Flickr again.

Wow, you might disagree with a lot of what Rand Paul is saying, but calling him an idealogue is a bit of a stretch, my friend.

I think that word sounds better if you pronounce it ID-ee-ah-log, even if it is wrong.

That’s an old one, but a favorite. “you and i don’t love each other.”

Which is a line from Chris Isaak. And you can buy a print here.

Anyway. I’ve probably used it before. But I don’t care.

That’s enough of that topic.

I need a new ice crusher motor. My iced coffee just isn’t the same with regular ice. Stupid refrigerator.

And now I’ve lost another two hours. This Wednesday was supposed to be super laid back. What the hell.

I was getting dressed this morning, thinking, “Well, normally I’d wear those blue canvas ballet flats, but I think I’m going to be bold and wear these red sandals because I am too much with the monochromatic all the time.” I’m not even kidding. That was the voice in my head yammering about shoes. And throwing the red bracelet in with the two blue to bring it all together. Honestly, it’s like I don’t even know myself any more.

I didn’t know Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger ever even were a couple.

Wow, I really don’t think people need a therapy session after dealing with me. I think that might be taking it a bit far.

That is true. You do always throw out the first pancake. It’s never any good. It’s like some weird law of the universe or something.

Chaos! CHAOS! Too many cooks! Way too many cooks!

You are such a f’ork.

Is it a cow?

I do believe that this is the first time in my entire life that I have not only highlighted passages in my book, but also made notations in the margins. Honestly, it’s like I don’t even know myself any more.

We should take another trip.

Huh. I shoot most everything horizontal and somehow most of the photos I have up in my cube are vertical. Weird.

Justin Amash is so cool.

Tim McGraw’s voice does not sound like it should be coming from Tim McGraw’s body.

I think this battery could really stand to last a bit longer.

July 1 seems awfully far away, really.

I’m going to have to plug this damn thing in, aren’t I?

I never get interesting email.

Oh wow, the 1988 election is all starting to come blurrily back to me.

What the hell is the Looking Back Party?

Don’t leave it on the floor if you don’t want me to put my feet on it.

Be kinder.

Keep to yourself.

Oh wait that’s 3 words.

Not him.

“Oh my God, MOM! You were right! Batman the Animated Series IS awesome!”

Of course I was right. I’m always right.

Apparently I never watched the last two seasons of Gilmore Girls the first time around. I have to say, I’m totally pissed that Lorelai married Christopher.

Also, and I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before, but I think it’s kind of lame that Lauren Graham was basically just Lorelai Gilmore all over again in Parenthood. I mean come on. They are the same character. They didn’t even give Lauren Graham a chance to prove that she can actually act. Of course, maybe she can’t. How would I know? She spent 14 seasons playing the same woman.

So by “I don’t wanna hurt ya!” you really mean “I don’t wanna get my ass kicked by a little girl!” Right?

So. I’m not a writer. I’m not a photographer. I’m an academic.

No. I’m sorry. That can’t possibly be right. It’s sort of nauseating.

Honestly. It’s like I don’t even know myself any more.

Random Wednesday

wm woofThis is so neat!I love before and after photos and this is the coolest presentation of that that I’ve ever seen.

Oh my goodness. Back pockets are there for a reason, people.

I have hit that point where I have so much to do I can’t do anything at all.

I know it’s Michigan and all, but I just don’t think I should have to experience 36 degrees in May.

My desk is chaos. Chaos!

I have a list of all the words you use incorrectly. It hurts my soul.

Oh man. Now I want to hear the Singles soundtrack. I need that in my life today.

Oh look, it’s on Youtube. hee

Ha. “And if you don’t retch imagining yourself in bed with Evan Dando, I don’t want to know you.”

Well. Today is just chock full of surprises.

You should get a weekly per diem for scotch and M&Ms, (not that you have time for either).

I can’t even tell you. I just. Wow.

I can’t even believe how busy I am. I think Random is getting shafted today.

I just want to knit and nap. Why can’t that be a job?

ZOMG. They’re BOGO Free today!!!! I’m so coveting all the things.

I’m so completely jealous of both of you right now. le sigh

I had never heard of this chick before, but I kinda dig her.

I’m sorry but this is just straight up a stupid math problem. Seriously.

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

Damn. I wish I still had some iced tea.

Damn. I wish I didn’t have to stop at Wal-Mart.

Damn. I wish I was your lover.

Just kidding.

Why is it so dark in here?

My head is really starting to hurt. I’m pretty sure Wal-Mart is not going to help with that.

C-Span2 needs an Instagram account.

Damn, I love a Rand Paul filibuster.

I did not even know that that was my problem until I read that thing. Damn.

I cannot remember the last time I felt this disorganized. It’s making me nutty.

I really really really love this skirt.

I got a lotta Damn in me today. Apparently.

Allegedly.

Perspicacious. I like that word.

Well we can obviously grow delicious asparagus in our yard. Maybe we should become asparagus farmers.

2QQAAE42SAWS!ADSZDFXRSAf bvytgfdaxz

Stormagegm n2r1`ew

Stormageddon had to get in on Random. So there you go.

gh777n

Of course now he won’t stop …

I’m cold. And also tired. Very very tired.

Just take your damn hat off.

Well. You got yourself a new photographer. Ok then.

I remember. I remember. Didn’t we go to the zoo that day? All my crayons melted in the back window inside my bag. That was a brand new box of crayons. I was so sad. But the melted wax was awful neat. I didn’t know that would happen. I didn’t know.

I remember.

I’m pretty sure that’s a girl bike.

But it’s a jungle out there.

Random Wednesday

i just wanna be the center of your world, babyI’m really bad at this posting anything other than Random thing.

I’ve always had a fondness for Sally Mann. I never understood the criticism of her photos of her children.

Oooh! I am intrigued!

Listen. Don’t tell my boyfriend, Paul Westerberg, but I think the National might have just about edged out the Replacements as my all time favorite band ever.

I’m terrifying.

I don’t want anybody else. I don’t want anybody else.

Um. How did I not know that my boyfriend Paul Westerberg got divorced last year? Paul? What is that about? Call me.

Aw man. So many tears.

Does it bother anyone else that there is an apostrophe in the Gogo’s?

It’s a picture of shoes with the words “shop bags” written across it. OK then.

whatever whatever

Well. Apparently ONE is the number of books I can cram into my week between semesters.

I like pizza, Steve.

“Oh my God!”
“What?”
“Priscilla Presley’s face!”
“She’s had some work done, Jen. … By the same guy that did the Joker.”

What is it with these people and their crushed ice?

hee

I feel like I should have read Less Than Zero at some point in my life.

What!? Hells yeah!

“You know I love a good crime show, and I can’t concentrate on political theory if you’re going to binge watch Unsolved Mysteries.”

Feelz before Realz, yo.

27% Unconscionable is a word I heard in reference. I think that’s entirely accurate. 27% is absurd.

Why does it smell like an old, damp dishrag in here??

Phrases are great for passwords but I keep mixing up my phrases.

I don’t think I have had enough protein today.

I think someone needs this knitted for them. But not in that yarn.

“the interest of freedom is a virgin, that everyone seeks to deflower.”

Seth is HIGH

Seriously, why do people continue to use Craigslist?

I am very much looking forward to this one. Guillermo Del Toro is one of the very few filmmakers today who can truly weird me the hell out.

“Do you want a rice cake?”
“I don’t know. Do you want a punch in the throat?”

oOOOOohHHHh!

It’s supposed to warm back up tomorrow. I’ll be able to wear a skirt. yay! Although I do like these pants. They’re so comfy.

ARGh. These arrow post it thingies are useless. They are not sticking. I’m going to be forced to use highlighters. I never use highlighters.

Wow, Red. You’re on a roll today.

everything is creepin’ in and i’ve been sailing so long i’ve become the shore and don’t you know don’t you know don’t you know

Um. AK47 grenades. Guys. That’s a satire site. Calm down.

I could go on at length about how much I loathe jury duty. But I won’t, because this is probably more entertaining.

I did read American Psycho, though. Before there was a movie even. So there’s that.

Aw neat! I am so not that momma one. With the academics.

didn’t anybody tell you?

I’m still pretty sure I need a Guns ‘n’ Roses tee shirt.

Dammit! My button popped off my pants! The only thing holding these puppies up is the sheer force of my will.

Why don’t people just farm Morels?

I did not realize today was the anniversary.

There is just no end to the ridiculous.

Am I still here?

Sheesh. I’ve sent about twelvety questions out to various people via the interwebs and no one is responding. I am invisible and weightless.

There will be a test!

I have no idea what I did with that schedule. I have no idea who is working in the morning. I have no idea what’s going on!

I’m so ready for sleep.

Ooooooh! I get to test knit Annie’s new shawl design! Yay!!!

This made me el oh el.

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