nobody here but us chickens

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Random Wednesday

My raven is dusty.

I need to upload some new photos.

No respect.

This feels like a trap.

People make me tired.

No one wants to talk to me.


It’s funny cos it’s true.

Gaaaaaaaaah I can tolerate just about anything except for my feet being hot.

I know. I know. I’ve talked about it before. BUT MY FEET ARE HOT.


I like how people latch on to phrases they heard in the media and then just apply them to everything. One of my current favorites is “false narrative.” I’ve rarely seen it used correctly.

That is the single most inaccurate internet quiz I have ever taken.

There are loads of films that are better than the book. It’s a fact. For example, pretty much anything ever written by Stephen King.

God I hate Stephen King.

But not Roald Dahl. We love Roald Dahl.

Apparently you think you’re too good to check your email.

Leave my evidence bag alone.

I’d never heard of Dan Crenshaw before this SNL foolishness. But thanks, cos he is a damn good looking man! Plus, I love his message about moving away from making everyone apologize all the time. He’s right on. So classy. Honestly, what the SNL idiot said really wasn’t that bad, I didn’t think. But what do I know any more.

in between days

I’m not writing what I need to be writing.

I’m trying really hard to care.

Does it feel like someone had put your head in a vise while tiny angry gremlins with 6 inch razor claws tried to scritch their way out from the inside? No? Huh. Well.

I’m not a fucking Mary Kay lady.

Jesus Christ. How many times can one person use “folks” in a single email?

God I hope this is good.

Stop telling me I don’t have the right to worry about my son being falsely accused of sexual assault.

I had completely forgotten about this.

OK, but I’m pretty sure it’s actually a Constitutional Republic. Not a Constitional Republic. I mean. I could be wrong.

I did not have anxiety as a child. Or a teenager. Or a twenty-something. Or a thirty-something. But I sure as fuck have it now.

I might actually delete some of this. Not feeling terribly confident this week.

Great. Guess no one remembers what 8 years of Granholm was like in Michigan. Here we go again.

I hate you and your air freshener. I’m calling it assault. This is now a hostile work environment.

Today is another good day to stay off the interwebs.

I say it all the time. I LOVE gridlock.


That is way too long.

That’s just a round about way of saying that you’re fully in favor of people purposely breaking the law in order to get your bitch elected, and I have no respect for that. If you can’t win legitimately, your party has no legitimacy regarding anything.

Why can’t you just say, has anything changed? and let it go at that.

Stupid pen.

I was on a roll for a minute. Then shit happened.

Wow. Jeff Sessions is out.

Did I already say this? That Jack Ryan show is not bad.



I could use a donut.

I wonder what’s for dinner.


Random Wednesday

“There’s been no war and no terraforming event. The environment is stable. It’s the Pax. The G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate that we added to the air processors. It was supposed to calm the population, weed out aggression. Well, it works. The people here stopped fighting. And then they stopped everything else. They stopped going to work, they stopped breeding, talking, eating. There’s 30 million people here, and they all just let themselves die.

I didn’t even know Kalamazoo had a Chipotle.

I should not try to join a discussion. I should just continue to lurk.

Still can’t afford Knit Stars.

No one gives a rat’s ass what I think.

He ain’t right.

Oh great. Just great.

Hi-larious. And accurate.


No, but really. Help.

No. Really.

Still don’t actually care about your cat.

This is a really good book.

Huh. I’d never heard of ICU psychosis before. Fascinating.

I shouldn’t be able to smell your perfume in my cubicle.

Well, that’s disappointing.

Shut up. Somebody take me to the theater.

Um, I don’t know if you’re aware of this in your current freakout, but birthright citizenship is protected by the Constitution, and Trump can’t “end it by executive order.”

Honestly, no one is even trying. Y’all are just going to Defcon Whateverthebadoneis immediately instead of taking a breath and doing 5 minutes worth of research. Calm the fuck down.

Well, that’s one way to keep people out of my office.

I don’t know how to do some of that stuff.

I don’t know how to feel about the phrase “living cadavers.”

Why are you so weird?

OMG Ash Wednesday. Brilliant.

No, but really.

WHY are we still printing a campus directory?

You better stop your

This is wonky, yes?

I have no idea what’s going on.

This post rarely works when I’m not in the office.

A step down would be fine if I can keep my pay. I’m worth every penny. I swear.

Well, I didn’t get this done, so I may as well add to it Thursday.

You’re a kind and generous person. But you’re also a jerk. I’m having trouble being around you. Ever.

Thumbs. Up.

I really hate the phrase bougie. And I think you’re an asshole if you use it.

It’s not like

God I need a new job.

Maybe you should take notes.


Great. Just great. I will now join the ranks of those with a coffee shop on their way to work. And it’s a Biggby. And Biggby beats Starbucks to death. DAMMIT.

I don’t know what FB thinks “most recent” means but it sure as hell ain’t this shit.

I don’t want to hear your conversation. Maybe close your door. You’re lucky enough to have one.

What did I do now?

I’m too old for this shit.

I do love a fuzzy sweater.

Now, where to hide out til 7:30?



Obviously not my photo.

Guess what, Scoobies? I could not finish that Meddling Kids weirdness. It’s really only because I just do not have time. Suddenly this section of my class has 467 chapters to read and a hefty paper attached to them. So. There we are.

I encourage you to read it though, if ever you were a Scooby Doo fan. Just be prepared that it is, indeed, W.E.I.R.D.

But you like weird, right? Otherwise why would you ever come here?


Random Wednesday

Never gets old.

I got your interim right here.

Let’s just ask for forgiveness later. Fuck it.

It’s logic.

I miss acupuncture, but I don’t miss spending the money on it.

Sure would be nice if you people ever responded to my texts.

Hell’s bells, it’s a dream house. I’d live there in a heartbeat. If it weren’t in Massachusetts.

I have never put ketchup on a pasty and I never will.

There was a Norwegian butter crisis?

That is not at all an accurate representation of libertarianism. That’s a progressive’s idea of what libertarianism is.

six pernicious influences

I don’t often say this about someone out loud, but that woman is a cunt of staggering proportions.

Will we or won’t we? I guess we’ll find out at

Holy shit has it ever been a day. Y’all are suffering for my absence.

I’m nervous about my presentation. I hope that it’s not a full house.

OMG Ample Pantry brownie. The bessssssssssssst.

This is interesting. I’m torn on it though. On the one hand, what a great way to catch criminals in the act, deter crime, etc. On the other hand, way to take the surveillance state to the next level, Detroit.

I do not know. I just do not know.

Yes, I did know that, in fact. I did indeed. Thank you very much.

Not a good day for a migraine.

It’s not like I have a brand or anything.

Isn’t that the lingo? Branding? I have no branding.

I do have to pee, though.

Oh holy Hell, I was just reminded of Propaganda Magazine.

Stop with the Christmas crap already! I am NOT DONE WITH HALLOWEEN.


The ghooooostieeeeessss!

All the heart eyes for you, cute Halloween dresses. I need you all in my life.

Stupid lottery. Stranding me here in this stupid place. New cute Halloween dress-less.

Can you just close your door because y’all are too gorram loud.

Great. Now the Friends theme is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the damn day.

It’s just. Nuffin.

Hey Firefox? I don’t give a shit about diamonds.

Wait. People actually like green bean casserole?

Sunflowers, in case you were wondering. Sunflowers are my favorite. Once upon a time it was lilies. I’ve moved on.

Now my ear is ringing. Looooovely.

Dammit. Now I want a taco.

This is relevant to your interests.

I’m not really here.

Honestly the timing is a dream.

I wish I had a little pizza.

Ohhhh it’s pronounced CH. Not K.

Who knew?

Probably you.

That’s it. I’m just gonna eat this astonishingly good microwave mac and cheese and move on with my life.


Random Wednesday

I just read relationality as rationality approximately 437 times and could not figure out why it wasn’t making any sense in context.

I’m sorry, but how did Cass walk into that bar, sit there for however long, and be completely fucking clueless to the fact that he was surrounded by demons? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

Also Sam needs to shave. And I’d love to see him with a real haircut.

I miss Crowley.

The season premier was disappointing. Deeply disappointing. Here’s hoping the season picks up.

Shouldn’t somebody be in charge of Hell though? I mean, I’m a firm believer in spontaneous order, but if you actively continue to disrupt the natural resumption of order, isn’t the resulting chaos worse?

Do you pronounce it Cartian or Carteeszhian? I honestly don’t know. Because you don’t pronounce the S in DeCartes. Why are the French so confusing?

I enjoyed this. You know I have such a hard time with being a fan and knowing where that person’s politics lie. I’ve had a love hate relationship with Rollins for years. I still think he’s a hypocrite and a dick, but I do also still enjoy his prose. He’s a very talented writer, and he’s very intelligent, though he doesn’t act like it, far too often.

You’ve wandered off again.

That doesn’t really differentiate, now that I think about it.

Honestly, who gives a shit? Capitalism for the win. Everybody’s got bills. She’s not breaking the law.

Let them eat donuts.

This is just not OK.

“What is ‘delightful’?”
“Not me.”

All of my students forgot boss’ day this year. Sigh.

313 212 313 212

It’s just that

I’m going to have this stuck in my head for the next year, but it’s better than the damn Depeche Mode song that was stuck there for a week solid. I thought I’d go mad.

I tried to set up a book exchange, but people suck.

Idiocracy. This is a classic example of technology making people dumber.

He’s not even one of ours.

Why can’t I finish this paper?

It’s a lesson in sensible footwear.

I keep getting distracted on these and keep forgetting I’m supposed to be sharing my raaaaaaandom thoughts with you. So many thoughts just gone now. Wasted. On account of I forgot.

I forgot to tell you –

Stop telling me I don’t have the right to worry about my son being falsely accused of sexual assault.

Seriously, between Elizabeth Warren and the NPCs, this might be my favorite week on the internet ever.

I legitimately cannot remember the last time I spoke to her. And I’m OK with that.

Now would be an excellent time for a nap.

“Write more than you talk about writing.” Well. There you go.

This stupid mid-fall break is fucking me up. I keep thinking it’s a bloody holiday.

I might have to actually sit in on that lecture. Could be interesting.

I need to put my Halloween presentation together. Such a slacker.

Does it open with Jason Isaacs running? Because there seems to be an awful lot of footage of Jason Isaacs running in the world.

It’s a good day for a Once More With Feeling rewatch. Probably. Too bad I’m at work. And have to work. And be at work tomorrow. To work.

Maybe I misunderstood every single one of them, then.


But no.


Come and play with us.

 Happy Anniversary, Old Man. Sixteen years of awesome. 



As an aside, I’m giving growing out my gray another go. I’m thoroughly sick of dying it every 3 weeks. I’m just going to TRY. AGAIN. to embrace it. If only it would just go gray overnight. That’s the REAL problem. Also it’s not really GRAY at all. It’s white. Which, in the end, will look pretty cool, I think.

Here’s one for your Halloween spooky reading fun. Meddling Kids, by Edgar Cantero. I’m getting through this one verrrrrry slowly because of all my reading for the class I’m taking that I don’t hate, addiction to British procedurals, and spending actual time with my family. Also there’s that whole job thing, but whatevah.

Meddling Kids is very heavily inspired by Scooby Doo, but takes fun creative license. I haven’t got far enough in to tell who the bad guy is, but it’s definitely not a real estate swindler in a mask. I’m reasonably certain this is a take on the Cthulhu mythos, but we’ll see if I’m right.

I’m enjoying it so far, despite a couple of unintended anachronisms. The fellow who wrote it is not a native English speaker, which may or may not have contributed to that. I’m guessing probably it’s just a research glitch. But it’s fiction, so does it matter that much? (Yeah, OK, it bugs me a little, but I don’t think most people would care at all.)

The writing style is very interesting. It jumps around a fair amount from reading like a television script to narrative to first person reflection, but somehow not in an annoying way. I don’t know how I feel about the characters yet. But I do love the dog(s).

Jinkies! I need a stamp that says jinkies. Obviously.

I even got this one from the library! Well, the Mister did, on account of he thought both Miss W and I would like to read it. She gave up before she finished the first chapter. Then it got stuck on our bookshelf where I discovered it looking for something else. Don’t worry, we renewed it. We’re not monsters. We’re not even real estate swindlers in masks who would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for … Also there’s the fact that the library bought this thing back in March and we were the first people to check it out, so I don’t think we’re depriving anyone.

I’ll update you on this one later in the month, but for now, I’m recommending it – if for no other reason than most of you reading this post grew up on Scooby Doo, like I did, and you’ll enjoy it for the homage it’s intended to be. Also if you don’t love Scooby Doo I don’t even want to know you any more, because clearly you are a soulless ghoul-masked real estate swindler.

P.S. I mean no disrespect to some very good friends of ours who are real estate agents and are honorable, upstanding, awesome people whom we are lucky to know. You know they must be good people if I’m qualifying my post. I clearly think very highly of them. I merely reference the bad guys in pretty much ALL Scooby episodes.


Random Wednesday

What’s the worst thing that could happen? The response could be “don’t bother me kid, I’m not interested.” Right? So why not reach out?

I don’t need advice, I need a bloody miracle.

Stop being so bloody overheated, October. You aren’t menopausal.

I get that you’re completely checked out of your job because you got screwed, but you’re making more work for me, and it’s kind of pissing me off. You’re still here. Do what you’re being paid to do.

God forbid you should be bothered to learn anyone’s proper name.

The Jennifers are NOT interchangeable.

There is literally nothing left to do but throw my hands up and watch this place burn to the ground. Figuratively burn. Figuratively.

Your using of that horrible air freshener is passive aggressive bitchery and it makes you an asshole. You know it’s a migraine trigger for me. I’ve asked you not to use it. Using it just makes you a dick. I’m done with you.

I should have joined the military. I would have been a phenomenal general.

It’d be so great if women would stop telling me I’m not allowed to worry about my son being falsely accused of sexual assault.

I went back to biting my tongue for a long long time. Starting to get sick of the taste of blood again.


It’s sort of like a dead letter office, really.

Am I missing something here?

Yeah, grinded isn’t a word, Reason.

Haven’t done a book post in a while.

Wow, totally forgot this post altogether for the last few hours. Oops.

I wonder if anyone would notice if I just took a nap. I’m guessing no. If it wasn’t raining, I’d just go down to Biggby for an hour or so.

This nail file has about had it.

I really need to shave my legs.

According to Ayurvedic principles, I’m not remotely healthy.

I’m excited for the Supernatural return tomorrow.

I had to unfollow Jared Padalecki’s wife on Instagram. Talk about privilege. That chick is as out of touch with reality as Gwyneth Paltrow.

“The real heroes are the real heroes.”

Why did she go to a Norm Macdonald show in the first place?

I think the temperature might be dropping a bit.

Tomorrow’s going to be cold. Yay!

Lovely lovely rain.

I’m so hungry right now.

I’ve had my shoes off for most of the day.

Honestly. What’s appealing about mushy peas?

The only right answer here is “nothing.”

I started out as a journalism major. It’s not that hard to go back to it.

I should probably lock the doors.

You don’t have to go home …


Random Wednesday

I should make some ginger cookies.


Jalapeno potato chips are a perfectly reasonable 10 a.m. snack.

Honestly. Why am I even here?

That’s not even a turkey leg. Have you people never seen a turkey leg?

I hate it when women decide that they’re speaking for ALL WOMEN EVERYWHERE. I can guarantee you that 99% of the time I don’t actually agree with you, and probably a WHOLE lot of other women don’t either. I’m not with you. I’m not in your camp. I remain over here in my own teepee, permanent skeptic, all about the verify, not so big on the trust. Stop speaking for me.

friends who chamber

Do you even employ proofreaders there? Cos I’m thinking no.

Just because it’s there doesn’t mean you have to touch it.

So basically, it’s just search for shit to bitch at Jen about day. Awesome.

I should have called in with pneumonia for this whole bloody week.

I hate it when the back of the book doesn’t tell you what the bloody book is about. I don’t need to read all the praise heaped upon you. That doesn’t tell me a bloody thing. Just because a pack of random critics read your blather and loved it doesn’t mean I will. And I’m not very likely to read a book without knowing what I’m reading.

Can I just not come here any more? Can someone just give me some millions of dollars so I can not come here any more?

Son Volt was on my radio on my drive in and it was nice.

“A favorite among tastemakers.” Well, that’s enough to turn me off.

And of course the journals are far more concerned with having been duped than with the point the papers’ authors were making. I mean Mein Kampf for fuck’s sake. Here’s a breakdown of the authors’ work. (I haven’t read it yet.)

the doctrine of salvation

The Jennifers are not interchangeable.

“J. Cole does not want to be famous.” Well congratulations, I’ve no idea who the hell you are, so you’ve succeeded.

Maybe it’s just a question of semantics, after all.

I’ve literally asked this woman 4 different times to stop doing this and she just doesn’t give a shit. Absolutely no respect whatsoever.

I probably need

whisper whisper whisper whisper whisper

I think it’s finally boiled down to every man for himself in this place. Now that’s some effective leadership.

Oh hello, really old Snickers bar.

I seriously never would have guessed that that was Christian Bale.

No, I don’t believe all of my rights as a woman are being systematically stripped away since Trump became president, nor do I think they’ll be further stripped by a Kavanaugh confirmation.

Yes, I firmly believe that women who falsely accuse men of sexual assault should be prosecuted to the fullest extent possible.

I’m wordy today.

Could you please take the politics out of knitting? Thanks. That’d be great. You’re not Madame Defarge. As much as you might like to be.

Man, the Brits and all their CCTV. I could never live over there.

Can I just coast along, dya think?

I wish I had some crackers. Maybe there’s some Cheez Its hiding under the counter.

I’ll just check.

There are none. Sadness.

Just focus on the one thing.

I don’t even know what sounds good for dinner. Probably nothing.

Hey. If you don’t want me pointing out that shit is spelled wrong before it goes out to the public, that’s fine by me. But I’m taking that proofreading business out of my job description because I don’t want this to reflect on my skills. Which are mad. Yo.

There’s a lovely British lady playing the voice in my head as I read this chapter. Interesting.

I’m never going to make it to the end.

the branch of metaphysics dealing with the nature of being

It’s just fucking paper towel for fuck’s sake.

I want to see the lighthouse ghost!

I already have plenty of ghosts, I suppose.


Random Wednesday

OK, I totally forgot about the Stars Hollow musical. Dear God.

Pu-pu-pu-pu-Puuuuutin is still kinda funny though.

I’m having a really hard time with this stupid thing.

Was Twin Peaks just an elaborate exploration of David Lynch’s search for meaning and spiritual truth?

It’s Rory’s voice. It changed. I don’t like it. Yeah, I don’t like A Year in the Life after all.

There is nothing to like about raccoons.

If I had said what she just said in as public a forum as she did, I’d be labeled a racist and probably fired.

I’m just desperately trying to find a way out. That’s all.

One’s German, one’s French.

I love this.

Sorry, but no. And I don’t feel bad about it either.

Oh good. Yet another jerk who thinks it’s totally OK to just walk into my cube just because! Dude. I have met you one fucking time. I don’t know you. Stay out of my office.

I don’t know. Seems to me that if you’re so against prostitution, this would be the dream alternative. Don’t want men buying sex from women? Give them robots. How is this a problem??

Well there’s something we can agree on. With the law of averages it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Literally none of this shit makes any sense to me.

Lucifer is a nicer fellow, in comparison.

Not a single morning this week has gone according to plan. Not a one.

The Jennifers are not interchangeable.

I’ve decided that the term “middle of nowhere” is offensive, particularly to the people who live there. Clearly it is somewhere. Stop being so dismissive of rural communities. Ruralists.

I will never stop celebrating Halloween. Never. NEVER!

Evidently I got red paint on my travel mug too.

Why does it smell like garlic in here?

If I close my eyes for just a second too long right now, I will absolutely fall asleep at my desk.

Look at that. Look at it.

Maybe I’ll post late. So I can add more. So sleepy.

I don’t think the Supernatural parodies are that funny.  I wanted to. But I just don’t.

My sinuses feel like the Sahara.

I can’t tell you what

I do so appreciate the tea.

The oatmeal raisin cookie always starts out tasting good, but by the time you’ve finished it, it’s been entirely too much sugar. And possibly butter.

I can’t stop yawning.

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