“Stop shooting each other. We need the hospital beds.”

There’s nothing racist about calling a virus that originated in China a Chinese virus. It could just as well have originated in any other country. America, for instance. Oh look, it’s an American virus! How about if you just stop. Stop kissing the Chinese government’s ass. They’re communist thugs. They’ve been communist thugs for decades. Stop.

You’re not the bleep in bleeping, so just bleeeeep.

There’s a very real possibility that I’m rather irritable today.

Here’s a thing that’s not helpful: lecturing or guilt tripping people about leaving their homes when they don’t have the option to work from home. Fuck off. Believe it or not, most of us are doing the best that we can.

I do miss being skinny. I do.

This virus is going to ruin my VIP Nick Cave experience in September, isn’t it?


I really just can’t think of a single good reason not to order a plague doctor mask.


Jesus these fucking people. The drug has been used to effectively treat malaria every day for more than 50 years. But Trump says run with it and suddenly OMG IT’S GOING TO KILL US ALL! You should seek professional help for that TDS. You’re unfuckinghinged.

And just like that, I’m ordered to work from home.

They should be paying my phone and internet bill for the next five weeks.

ha ha ha that’ll be the day.

See? I told you it’s not possible to access the shared drive from here.

Oh there it is.

Dear God. Why would you ever eat that??

The Association of Electricizers.

For all the work Democrats did to prevent Bernie from getting the nomination, they sure did a handy job of turning this country into a fascist socialist hell over the last few weeks.

Why are more of you not outraged, terrified, and livid at the blatant violation of constitutional freedoms happening right now?

Driving over to the forest is essential. I’m leaving my house to go to the forest. Or I will lose my fucking mind.

I may not need people, but I need some zen.

Hey. Maybe I’ll finally get skinny again.

Yeah, I know. I’m laughing too.

I never thought I’d be this desperate for an ergonomic office chair in my house. Jaysus.

Who the hell is Florence Pugh?

“Influencer” should not be a thing.

It’s not Trump’s fault you’re stupid enough to consume fish tank cleaner.

I may or may not have decided day 4 is a good day to stop wearing a bra.

The Hu may be the only thing that gets me through this fascist nightmare.

There’s a reason we don’t keep Rice Krispies treats in the house.

I get to sleep in tomorrow.

Sometimes I miss my dyed hair, but not often.

I’m reasonably certain a 32oz gas station Diet Mtn. Dew is essential to my survival.

Prodigal Son could be a good show. It could. The premise is fantastic. I love it. Right up my alley. Michael Sheen, despite his taste in women, is fucking brilliant as a narcissistic predatory psychopath. Yes. It could be a very good show, even despite it’s nightmarishly trope heavy weekly plot lines. It could. But it isn’t. Because every single person on that show (excepting Lou Diamond Phillips and Michael Sheen) are such terrible actors it’s actually kind of like being punished to watch them. They’re positively cartoonish. Especially the prodigal son himself.

The new John Douglas audio book is read by the dude that plays the character based on John Douglas in Mindhunter, and it’s kind of perfect.

OK, audio books and the Hu are getting me through the work remotely bizarro land I find myself plopped down in.

Give me back my 40 hours, dammit.