antijenx

nobody here but us chickens

Random Wednesday – Lone Star, Everything’s Bigger in Texas Edition

wm7337Have a fantastic day!!

This might work. This might be just the thing, actually.

This font is ridiculous.

fog rot

I keep typing San Antonion. Like onion.

anxiety anxiety anxiety. Someone should have told me this was a terrible idea.

I don’t need an iPad. Actually, as much as I love this thing, there are a few things about my Acer tablet that I like better. Maybe I’ll just eventually get a fancier droid tablet.

You know I’m twitchy about iProducts anyway.

Sooooooooo early.

Turbulence! Turbulence! Turbulence!

I’m sorry. I tried to stay awake for Cold War. I did! I can’t help it that I’ve become utterly narcoleptic!

I might actually be able to post Random from this iPad. Might be tricky, but it’s possible.

I am fairly certain that qualifies as cruel and unusual.

oh sure. I go to Texas and Michigan has all the super exciting weather. Tornado!

Although it looks like it might be a stormy day in San Antonio. We’ll see. I’d say I hope it doesn’t flood, but I was just told it doesn’t rain here, it floods.

I might be able to get this posted. I don’t think I’ll have any links for ya’ll today though.

This kind of tired just qualifies as ridiculous.

I’m not sure how we’re going to be able to pull off some of this time table.

I had no idea the Alamo was just right smack in the middle of the city. So weird. I really thought it was just sort of out in the country side somewhere. I did not get to tour it.

We’re in Texas and you want to go to the mall?? No. You are over ruled. We’re going to the Alamo, children. Suck it up and learn something.

ooph. dinner.

I can’t hear a word she’s saying.

Wait. She’s telling some kind of story about a chicken sandwich.

He is eating his bread with a fork.

She’s the evil ginger.

80s movie rich kid villain? Yeah. He even has the voice down. Is that something they breed into you??

I can’t hear a word anyone is saying.

What’s a penny loafer?!?!?

Where’s Bob?

I could fall asleep sitting here.

No, really. I had no idea this trip was going to be so exhausting. I’ll need a vacation after this.

How do you sit at a restaurant for nearly an hour before you even think about ordering?

For someone who is so awkward with people, I made delightful conversation with our alum.

Only the top of the

The Alamo is very beautiful. I could have spent the whole day there.

Pipe down you!

Oh, right. Sorry.

“So I had this chicken sandwich and I was all, damn! I love a good chicken sandwich! But then the bosses were all NO! You can’t have chicken sandwiches any more. And I got like 5,000 emails about chicken sandwiches.”

Yeah, when all you hear is “chicken sandwich” you have to make your own fun. I’m too tired to have much fun.

Really. Who eats bread with a fork?

Ugh. I sort of wish I’d just lugged the laptop down here. This would have been so much simpler.

Heavier. But simpler.

I miss home.

In all my time working at the University, nothing has ever made me feel older than taking this trip with a bunch of 19 and 20 year olds.

I don’t usually drink beer, but that was a good beer.

Such polite drivers in Texas. Merging has never been so easy. These people would never make it on Michigan roads.

I am most definitely not the corporate type. Even when it’s all hip IT fun house.

Especially when it’s all hip IT fun house.

Actually I’m getting hives just thinking about working in a hip IT fun house environment.

Dear Lord. That Lee Greenwood song as sung by the guy at the Memorial Day ceremony is stuck in my head. Make it stop.

Must. Bite. Tongue.

I was thinking that I need a list of rules that I just hand out to people. All people. These rules are beneficial to all people, everywhere.

Texans do not drive with their windows down.

Yay. More driving.

Top secret mechanical elephant.

Hello, Austin.

Texas does not like my hair.

Wait. How many dozen eggs was that?

I’m fairly certain I’ve never seen that much SPAM in my life.

The kind you eat.

How is my driving? I am 100!

I just got soap in my eye. Damn you, Austin!

Texas is making me fat.

WalMart! Nick Gillespie would be so proud. I should have taken a photo.

Dude. You’re gettin’ a Dell.

Who is moving their last American factory over seas.

This Strengths Finder business is too much for me. How is this not all shit people already know?

I am ridiculously tired.

First ever visit to Whole Foods. That is a whole other universe I will likely never return to. It helps that we don’t have them.

That episode of Portlandia? With the chicken and the whole life story of the chicken and visiting the farm before they eat the chicken? Yeah. That’s Whole Foods.

That is a lot of bats. Damn.

Don’t Texans believe in surface roads?

I’m feeling very anxious today.

Kindergarten graduation brawl. Classy.

I should find some breakfast.

Navigating the old fashioned way. Whee!

Microbial cysts??

I can hear you now!

No, wait, no I can’t.

This bed seems oddly square.

Man, I love Tony Stark. I always forget how horrifying Mickey Rourke is these days.

He introduced them in the wrong order.

I can’t keep track of the time. I wasn’t even sure what day it was for a second.

Best. French toast. EVER.

Homework. Man. I shouldn’t have homework. I’m not even taking this class.

That bottle of water is too far away.

I wish I had some M&Ms right now.

I don’t know if this is Texas sized. It’s actually been really hard to take notes.

Oh! I have notes I haven’t typed yet!

I really don’t know how Michiganders can move here. We’re not built for this heat.

19.6% of Michigan workers are represented by unions compared to only 5.6% of Texas workers.

Security!

I really thought this would be more interesting.

Stop saying “Right?”

Oh those are cool! I should get some for the classrooms.

Free stuff!

But you’re moving your last manufacturing plant to Singapore. My capitalist brain is in conflict with my Patriot soul.

The Austin Chronicle does not like Republicans.

The people at the Capitol gave me a cool sticker.

Tiny Texas flags! I’ve been looking all over for these! Yay!

They didn’t have any tiny Gonzales flags, which would have been very cool.

I was kind of hoping I’d run into Rick Perry at the Capitol, not gonna lie.

I want to work for SHIELD. That would be a cool job. I don’t even need to be a super hero. I’m totally useful.

At this juncture.

Maybe I’ll run into George W at the airport.

My dear, you are a pretty mess.

The Zero Tolerance Project.

There’s an awful lot of Zero Tolerance in this tolerance preachy world.

NCIS I’ve never seen on hotel cable!

Thunder storm!

I don’t even like raisin bran.

Another 3 hours in the car. Oy.

We better have the right van group for a drive that long.

All this air conditioning just makes everything feel damp.

Damn. I forgot what I was going to say.

Oh so that’s where the Squirrel Report got its name.

I’m not so sure about Beaver Nuggets. That’s probably some kind of blasphemy or something.

I’m so tired. So very tired.

How far away is the giant statue of Sam Houston, and can I go there?

I touched a moon rock! I touched a moon rock! I touched a rock that came all the way from the moon!!

Shut up. I can be emotional about space. I said I got choked up, I didn’t say I actually cried.

Well, hello, Jason Statham.

Giant Sam Houston!!

Prison inmates do some damn fine wood working.

Now that is a damn good looking law man.

Wow, home tomorrow! This week has been soooooo packed with STUFF it just flew.

Crazy.

I love Texas.

I couldn’t live here, my body is built for Michigan weather. This place would kill me dead.

I feel like I might be repeating myself.

I bet when I get off the plane I’ll be all “DAMN! It’s freezing here!” and it’ll be like 70 degrees or something.

Germs, people!

The plane is hurling ice pellets at me. What is wrong with this thing?

I’m home now, but it’s Wednesday, so I’ma keep going with this thing.

Man. I go to Texas and Matt Smith quits? What the hell??

I think my leg is falling asleep.

What the hell happened to gas while I was gone? $4.09???

OK, that’s about as much working from home I can do today.

Editing the Texas photos seems daunting right now.

What the hell is this American Community Survey bullshit?

This is going to be the cutest skirt ever.

Piles of mail and laundry. Ooph.

Oh, good. Gas is now $4.30 a gallon. WTEF???

I’m going to have to buy a motor cycle so I can afford to get to work. Jeebus.

I’m really going to need a Stetson.

I should eat some lunch. I don’t know what to eat for lunch.

Wait. Did I actually lose weight in Texas?

Three hours later, I still have not managed to secure food.

Oh good. Can’t wait to put out the fires that have erupted while I was gone.

I suppose I could just eat these M&Ms.

Yeah, no, that’s just a bad idea.

Huh. I could totally go to bed right now.

I’ve said totally a lot today. A sure sign of my tiredness level.

It is too cold to swim. You can’t swim in Michigan until at least July. Most years, anyway.

Damn. My sensor is a might dusty.

Might? I wonder where that expression comes from.

Seriously, James Marsters. Stop doing that to your hair. It’s icky.

Wouldja?

I’m a good hearted woman, don’tcha know?

Wipe all evidence from the iPad!

I can’t remember what I was going to say.

I oughta go to bed.

Ya’ll come back now, ya hear?

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6 Comments

  1. It’s not nearly as fun when you KNOW where some of those came from. 😀

  2. Seriously? You don’t know penny loafers? Man, I’m old. Of course, I only know from my older sisters.

    Texans do not drive with their windows down from March to November. Related: Texas likes your hair–bigger!

    Texas likes you–bigger. Just a mite bigger, though.

    You didn’t actually lose weight. Your hair just dried out.

    • AntiJenX

      June 6 at 3:35 pm

      No, I know what penny loafers are. The students didn’t know, I had to explain them to them. But that we used to use dimes instead of pennies so we had 20 cents for a phone call.

  3. I felt the EXACT same way about the polite Texas highway merging. And to be honest, it caused me quite a bit of anxiety because I kept feeling that at any moment there’d be a huge splattery ten-car wreck. Merging in heavy traffic in Cleveland feels just like Tetris, when you’re almost out of space at the top of the board.

    • AntiJenX

      June 6 at 8:50 pm

      Yes! And forget about making a left hand turn without the aid of a light up here. Down there, a left turn is gravy.

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