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Random Wednesday

wm8632I just don’t care for Bat for Lashes. They remind me of this guy I “dated” briefly. He was an ass. A gothic, depressive, suicidal, total asshole. He once bit my neck so hard I truly believe he was trying to draw blood. It wasn’t a hickey, it was evidence. A forensic odontologist could have matched his teeth up to that bite mark half asleep and high on laughing gas, if forensic odontology hadn’t been widely discredited. This guy used to send me an average of one mixed tape a week. I was at Michigan State, he was at Western Michigan. I liked about 37% of the music. It was all Skinny Puppy and Death in June and Ministry and Sisters of Mercy and so on. Ironically, we met at a Tori Amos concert.

It wasn’t until years later that my taste in men made a miraculous turn around.

Wait. How am I supposed to get all these books read by December??

after the fire, before the flood

There is just no comfortable way to sleep in an office chair.

The Garden Chair of Solitude.

I never did anything that nutty when I was pregnant.

Did I show you this already? I love this. And I want that American flag jacket.

Why is there a World Octopus Day?

Why is the proof in the pudding? What if I don’t like pudding? And proof of what, exactly?

that’s 13 cupcakes

It’s fall it’s fall it’s fall! It’s the best month of the year!!!!

I heart Nick Gillespie. Just in case I hadn’t mentioned it previously.

I used to like Boardwalk Empire, but they killed off or corrupted all the likeable characters. Now I can’t stand any of them.

I think I should eat this tiny packet of M&Ms. Right now.

Because people are just really dumb.

Man this town is stinky.

“One can learn a lot about a country and it’s culture by how they dance and the music played.” And by how appropriately they USE APOSTROPHES.

It’s all Ancient Sumerian to me.

Sheesh. There’re about 10 M&Ms in this thing. I feel like I’m being taunted.

Beleaguered Vulcan Brain

Even if I gave half a rat’s ass about sports, it’s awful hard to give the other half about homecoming when this team hasn’t won a single football game this year. But, you know. Keep rowin’ that boat.

Good God! I both love this and am terrified by it. Modern Halloween costumes just do not have this effect at all.

Which reminds me of a book that has been on my Amazon wish list for a while now ….

What’s the point of carrying if your chamber isn’t loaded?

OH MY GOD. STOP TRYING TO DO MY JOB.

All I can think is “They’re so DIRTY!” Ugh.

I’m intrigued. I want to see it. It’s funny, because when the trailer started I thought, “Reminds me of Underworld!” Sure enough …

Plus. Aaron Ekhart is totally lunchable.

Wait. Eddie Vedder is still around?

I’m just curious, but do you think it would be possible for you to eat your potato chips with your mouth CLOSED so I can’t hear you all the way over here in my cube???

What? No. You can’t sit in a dental chair for an hour having work done AND be subjected to a Michael Jackson DVD the entire time. That’s like a special kind of hellish torture. That is just not right.

Where do vegetarians eat around here? No, I’m not going vegetarian. Don’t be absurd.

Oh man. I have to take a best selling author out to dinner next week.

Oooooh!

This is not an artist’s statement.

Oh. That mean’s next week’s Random is going to be late. Like Thursday late.

PANIC! in detroit. but not really.

ouuuuuuuuuch

Oh COME ON. ENOUGH with the flipping FUNDRAISING. Get a damn job!

Why are people wearing these coats? They’re so ugly.

There are some things I can’t even say in Random Wednesday.

then you stop

She’s on a pedestal, guys. Pay attention to her.

Look. I don’t want to tell you your business, but don’t you think she’s leached enough money out of people as it is??

Yeah, this is hilarious.

Sometimes I wish the autocorrect in Word was as sophisticated as it is on the iPhone that isn’t a phone so that I wouldn’t have to keep backspacing to correct my typos when I’m in a typing frenzy.

I would like to unfriend these people, but they’d notice and ask me why, because they could walk right up to me and ask me why. That would just be awkward.

Pond Schmond.

Donna Noble has left the library. Donna Noble has been saved.

It’s so not too early for bed. I think that’s where I need to be.

Well that’s just not sitting well at all.

71

Lawnmower Man. Lawnmower Man. Ohhhh I remember that movie. Wasn’t that Matt Frewer? I used to love him on Max Headroom.

You can’t just say “No one should see the Fifth Estate regardless of how you feel about Asange,” without giving your reasons WHY.

Oy.

I’m cold. That settles it.

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1 Comment

  1. Matt Frewer may have been in Lawnmower Man, but he wasn’t the Lawnmower Man. That was Jeff Fahey. Don’t ask me how I remember that.

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