Oh Michelle. Bless your heart. Children will never trick or treat for vegetables.
Probably if I wanted to like your Facebook page I would have done it by now. Stop inviting me.
Oh my GOD. The HAIR.
Or, you know, they could just wear super hero capes.
We should not fall back. We should stay sprung forward forever. Falling back makes NO SENSE AT ALL. Come on, Michigan. Get with the program here!
There is no S in Daylight Saving Time. Well. There is. But only one. Not two. It’s not Daylight SavingS.
Here’s your war on women, libs.
I’m thankful for chocolate cake.
I am thankful that I was able to be awesome despite nature and nurture. I triumphed over genetics and upbringing! I RULE!
This is so awesome!
Death to Americans! But not really. Screw you, Iran.
358 days, 17 hours, 15 minutes, and 57 seconds til Halloween!!!!
The amount of protein in protein bars is directly proportional to the degree to which the bar tastes like Play-Do.
Ooooh! Some of these are just stunning!
Do not stumble dry.
Yeah, I don’t really get “cravings” so stop asking me.
Wow. $500 hats. Nuts.
I’m thankful for socks with those grippy thingamawhatsits on the bottoms so you don’t fall on your arse in the kitchen.
The phrase “tasty kale recipe” just feels like an oxymoron.
Wow. This would have been a very different film with this cast. I should watch that again, actually. That was a good movie.
“You’re adorably contrary.”
Homeschooling: In our school, concealed carry permits are encouraged.
I should probably change that header …
Well who have YOU been associcatin’ with?
I do believe that it is physically impossible for that woman to sit in a swivel chair and not swing back and forth the entire time she’s in it.
Those “Repost if you believe in God and in two minutes he will do you a huge favor” posts? Stoppit. I’m pretty sure that if there is a God, he doesn’t really give a shit about your Facebook posts, and he’s probably not in the business of doing you any favors.
I’m thankful for my finely honed and highly developed ruthless logic.
I like bacon, but not as much as everyone seems to think I should.
I’m not giving money to United Way. Stop pestering me.
I won’t tell you my favorite part. Just watch it all the way through.
That is not exciting. I do not understand you. There is nothing remotely exciting about that.
On a 10 question survey: “9.
Why am I here? Gah.
My job, genius, not EARTH.
I didn’t think what Gwyneth Paltrow said was all that profound or amazing. Sorry.
I like cheese.
They won’t be happy til we’re all in those space age motorized scooter deals like in Wall-E. So ridiculous.
Um. Yeah. When California starts sliding into the Pacific, just remember that we don’t need any more liberals in Michigan, thank you very much.
professional development professional development professional development professional development professional development professional development professional development professional development professional development professional development professional development professional developmentprofessionaldevelopmentprofessionaldevelopment professionaldevelopmentprofessionaldevelopmentprofessionaldevelopmentprofessionaldevelopment…………………………………………………………….
I thought the cake was fun. I’m all for non traditional fun. My wedding was awesome.
I hate that phrase. It just comes across as so freaking patronizing.
Money does not make you evil. Sorry. That’s all on you.
I just. I cannot get into Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I can’t. I love you, Agent Coulson, but. Man. Joss. What the hell? I’m not saying it’s as bad as Dollhouse was, but damn.
Ooph. It’s supposed to snow tomorrow. I’m not ready for snow.
I really think the Memento Mori Revival could take off. I think there must be a market out there for funeral photography. It might be a small market right now, but there’s potential. It’s like the most perfect job for me ever. I just have to figure out how to make it work.
I love this. I’d have a hard time choosing.
“You know what I hate about Star Wars? All the aliens are humanoid. And they’re always pointing out the obvious and explaining it like we’re kindergartners.” I love my kid.
I love leggings. But I don’t wear them with anything that doesn’t cover my strategic areas.
Footless tights are neither leggings, nor pants. That should be covered with all incoming freshmen females at orientation.
Seriously, it’s what I imagine Tim Curry as Frank N. Furter’s Instagram account looking like.
I imagine that anal probe settlement will be appropriately substantial.
Seriously. That is a cool Dalek. She’s so creative.
There are at least 37 people in there. At least.
That was probably one of the more remarkably ridiculous emails I’ve received this week. Completely dismissing me in response to my query and speaking about me in the third person. Yeah. My job is awesome.
No, I mean it. Tom Hiddleston. Lunchable.
This is hilarious. When I was pregnant with Miss W I called her “The Parasite” all the time.
Actually, you’d be in fear for your life, not of your life. If you’re in fear of your life, well, that’s a whole other situation.
No, they didn’t illicit laughs. They elicited laughs. Come on, people. COME ON.
Of course I’ve found twelvety seven sweater patterns I want to knit for myself now that I’m pregnant and can’t possibly wear any of them until spring. sigh.
OK, sorry, I totally laughed out loud.
Ugh. I’d rather not do that right now, thank you, stomach.
We didn’t make chili. This weekend we should totally make chili.
Oops. I did not even notice that.
All I want for Christmas is for someone to come and thoroughly clean my house. And carpets.
OK, I probably want more than that, but that’s pretty much number 1 on the list.
I wonder if that goat’s still standing there looking in the window. He does that for hours.
My life is so weird.
“Footless tights are neither leggings, nor pants. That should be covered with all incoming freshmen females at orientation.” yes time 3000! I don’t understand this phenomenon.
Ha! Too effeminate. For Prince.
I am so ready for snow. As long as it stays on the ski slopes, where it belongs, and where I will be learning. And as long as it’s 50Â°. It could happen.