wm5525Nice big fat goose egg. I don’t think anyone will notice.

I post no filter, no makeup photos of myself on Instagram and no one’s making a big deal out of it.

“I went to the library last night. Not the one with the books, the one with the booze.”

I think Frankenstein’s monster should have had a name.

“Human sized!? I’m human sized!!!”

I keep starting to do something. I get interrupted. Then I can’t for the life of me remember what I was starting to do. I’s incredibly frustrating.

What if, Jennifer?

hey man. hey man. hey man.

Oh my GOD. Why do I click Slate links? WHY?

Yikes. I notice they didn’t get their teeth fixed.

I don’t know how people can eat rommegrot. It’s revolting.

I wish my keyboard was quieter.

I have no love for the Kardashians, but I think making fun of a woman’s weight during her pregnancy is pretty low. Especially if you’ve ever been pregnant.

I don’t care about the name. But I like the word Denali. I’m sure there’s a reason why I associate it with the 90s and something shoegazery, but I can’t think of what that might be.

Oh boy!

Gah. This disappoints me. I really just don’t care for Clara at all.

Have you ever been in an accident that resulted in your death? Well, there was that one time back in ought six …

Oh wait. Yep. I remember. Not the 90s, but there you go.

That’s adult stuff and it bores me.

“I’m not in Africa. I’m out of Africa.”

Ooooh! I had no idea they were even doing this. Did I?

“Oh my God. These three girls were walking in front of me today. They were freshmen. Their shorts were so short I could see the bottoms of the middle girl’s ass cheeks.”
“And what were her ass cheeks like?”
“Eighteen.”

I remembered this thing I wanted to write down and then immediately forgot it again. It’s been a rough week, squidlets.

Well. We can’t all be smart.

Ugh. This is not a very good batch of protein bars.

OMFG It’s a Taylor Swift video. It’s an homage to classic films. It’s not freaking social commentary. Get a life already.

Now, I’m no rocket physicist with a nekkid girlie shirt, but I’m pretty sure I could have done that math correctly.

I like it.

Wow. Facebook still has notes?

leave a message. leave a message. just leave a damn message.

Stop switching my feed back to Top Stories. It’s just rude.

I love this bookmark.

Regardless of my weird mixed feelings about Amanda Palmer, this is pretty damn cool.

I like this gum.

I only chew gum when I’m alone. Which is how the entire world should chew gum.

oooh la la

I don’t know what to do for dinner.

I am not an engineer.

I wonder if I could expand this paper and get it into a Broadside …

ha

“They reminded me of Gramps’s favorite breakfast: soft-boiled eggs with Tabasco sauce.

Why does my ear hurt?

I admit it. I used to devour these books in a sitting. Until all of a sudden I didn’t care about them anymore. The only story line that really stuck with me after all these years was the new girl who was fat who wanted to be the snobby twin’s friend and the snobby twin did or said something that made the fat girl go around and around the track on their lunch hoursĀ  and then she lost all the weight and became friends with the nicer twin instead. Or something.

Dead people don’t usually call me, so …

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