First of all, what a name. But second of all, this guy looks like he’s all of 12 years old. I cannot take him seriously. His kid looks older than he does.

It’s not just all autism and Down syndrome. There are all kinds of developmental disabilities.

Still haven’t managed to make it through the first episode of Vikings.

It’s the social media pose. Like the Michigan hair cut.

They’re all so fucking fragile.

Well fine. Don’t then.

I’ve seen some damn funny photos lately. Total lack of self awareness.

You know, I really thought that whole Strengths Finder nonsense would die out. Or maybe it was just a wild hope that it would die out. Instead it has found new life and is raging away, stronger than ever. I literally could not care less about your top 5. Keep it to yourself.

you know i keep your fingerprints

I’m so fucking helpful. You’re welcome.

I wish I had some Pringles.

What does “mass casualties” mean, exactly?

I don’t know. I mean. Why would I want to send my name to the sun though?

Shit. What was I going to say?

I’ve pretty much lost any enthusiasm I might once have had for this whole thing.

Ho.lee.SHIT this kid is talented. I hope he publishes this stuff someday.

Reason number 4,367 to homeschool.

WordPress still thinks homeschool is not a word.

Using inclusion comment cards to demand exclusion of a group of students. Y’all have no sense of irony whatsoever, do you?

I was sitting there thinking, “How did I never see the trailer for Infinity War?” til it got to the end and I saw the Guardians and realized, “Oh, I did.” I guess it wasn’t a terribly impressive experience. Unlike the Civil War trailer. I totally remember that one. It was GOOD. Infinity War’s trailer is wholly unremarkable.

I still don’t like crunchy green beans.

That shit is just gonna get dusty.

I can’t keep track of your goddamn calendar, woman.

Why no West Michigan, Liz Phair? Why??

it’s that little souvenir

Gah. You can’t have half your headlines centered and the others left justified. Pick a format and stick with it.

Why do people think anyone wants to smell their Brussels Sprouts?

Kinda over this Trish bitch.

Man. I was on such a good hair roll for a while there.

I think when this season of the X-Files ends it needs to just stay ended. Forever.

I think you could have made your argument without all the name calling. That was just kind of assy.

Oh! Dumb ass. CO. Conservation Officer. Duh.

Sometimes I am such a dolt.

Half the people I know are anti GMO. Stop already. GMO foods save lives.

I hate seaming.

Jesus. NOWHERE does it say prior. NOWHERE.

Nobody loves Toto’s Africa. Nobody.

Tiny dinosaurs will save the world.


And this is why you should buy your own shit.

Well, at least I know that none of you have any respect for me.

The problem with torso killers is …

Screw it. Now I’m just in a foul mood and I’m not sure I’m coming back from it.

This place is making my brain bleed today.

You know what? Sometimes the office is too loud, which makes it difficult to concentrate. That doesn’t make me the asshole.

God. How did I fall down that rabbit hole? I don’t even know.

$2 Biggby day is a gift from heaven.

Great. Now my shit is broken.

I never watched Xena. I thought it was dumb.

Well. Damn. Now I just want to cry.